Turn Left
by SilenceintheLibrary13
Summary: This is my reimagining of the series if Jane and Maura had been a couple the entire time! Starts with the pilot and will go through all seven seasons, exploring their growing relationship and all the things that would have been different if they'd been together.
1. Chapter 1

**Hello everyone! I hope you're ready to enjoy another multi-chapter fic! I am planning on having fun with this one! I did my fantasy Season 8 some time ago, but this one is my fantasy seasons 1-7, if the show had been about Jane and Maura as a couple. It's also my chance to "fix" a few details I never thought made sense. I am not, however, writing a 100+ chapter fic, so not every episode will be represented, just the highlights! I will update as often as I can, but lengths between updates will probably vary (should usually be no more than a few days, which those of you who have followed my stories in the past are accustomed to).**

 **As for why it's called Turn Left...  
My fellow nerds will have already surmised from my username that I love Doctor Who. For the less nerdy among us, there is an episode of Who called Turn Left in which a character discovers what would have happened if, on an otherwise ordinary day, she had chosen to turn right instead of left while driving. Turning right would have prevented the series of events that led to her meeting the Doctor, and her not meeting the Doctor would have led to disaster. In the alternate timeline in which she turned right, she has to find a way to go back in time and make herself turn left. It's a great episode that really makes you think of the repercussions of seemingly insignificant decisions...like Maura's decision in the pilot to laugh off Jane's "is this your way of telling me you're attracted to me?" comment. On the show, Jane and Maura turned right when they should have turned left. In this fanfic, they turn left :)**

Chapter 1

Episode 1.1: See One, Do One, Teach One

Almost dying could make you think some weird thoughts. Sometimes it felt like you had cheated death, that it would still come for you, that your days were numbered. Jane didn't really believe this, but the feeling had gotten stronger since Dr. Yeager's murder, since finding out Hoyt had trained an apprentice.

It was harder to be scared of doing the things you wanted to do when you felt like you were about to die. After all, you weren't going to be around to deal with the consequences. Maybe that was why she was suddenly thinking about going for it with a certain ME.

Or maybe it was because she hoped she was going to live, and she wanted it to be with Maura. Maybe that was why she was driving to Maura's right now.

Jane had been crushing on Maura ever since they'd started working together months ago. She was unbelievably attractive, plus smart, quirky, self-possessed…Jane had never met anyone like her. She'd never even imagined meeting someone liked her. She'd tried to ignore her feelings of attraction, which was what she was used to doing every time she had a crush. Her devout Catholic family was not going to take it well if Jane came out as gay, and none of the women she crushed on were ever into her like that anyway. She doubted Maura could ever be. She'd only gone on a few casual dates since Jane had known her, and those had been with men. She hadn't mentioned any dates in a while, though, and Jane didn't see what it would hurt to just spend time with her at the morgue whenever possible, often bringing snacks from the vending machine upstairs. She enjoyed it, and Maura seemed to enjoy spending time with her as well. Lately she'd been coming upstairs to hang out with Jane whenever possible. Jane had stolen a chair to keep next to her desk so Maura would always have a place to sit. She'd also started keeping hand sanitizer on her desk for Maura, since the doctor worried about germs a lot. Really, the two of them were becoming very close friends, in spite of the fact that they'd only ever spent time together at work. They kept saying they should do something outside of a crime scene sometime, but it had just never happened.

Something had changed, though, on Sunday night. Right there, in front of Dr. Yeager's dead body, Jane had asked Maura to reset her fractured nose. Maura had never really touched her before, other than to shake her hand when they met, and she hadn't been prepared for the jolt of electricity that went through her when she felt Maura's gentle hands on her face. And the way Maura had looked her right in the eye, Jane was sure she'd felt it too. Of course the pain of having her nose reset had ruined the mood, but Jane hadn't been able to stop thinking about it. Maybe Maura felt how she felt. Maybe it was time to get brave, to stop living her life according to how she thought others would react.

The next time she saw Maura was at the site of Yeager's dead body, which was found the next day. Jane had pulled up to the crime scene, knowing Maura was already there, and suddenly worried about how she looked. She dug into her glove compartment and found an old tube of lipstick, which she promptly applied, checking to make sure her hair looked okay before getting out of the car. Then Crowe annoyed her by immediately noticing that she was wearing lipstick and making a big deal about him. But she'd just shoved past the guys, quickly gathering the information she needed while making a beeline for the one person she most wanted to see: Maura.

It wasn't like she was going to ask Maura out over a dead body, but she was definitely considering doing it as soon as she had a chance, if Maura still seemed to be noticing her.

Then Hoyt escaped from prison and all hell broke loose. Now her entire family was at her apartment trying to watch over her, and her mom was ranting about not getting a good night's sleep since Jane became a cop. Jane ran away without a plan for where to go, but it came to her quickly: Maura. She'd never been to Maura's apartment before, didn't even know exactly where it was, but she'd called her up and Maura had said of course Jane could stay over and had promptly given Jane directions to her place. So Jane was heading there now, trying not to let her mind wander too much with thoughts of what could happen while spending a whole night with Maura.

When she arrived at the address Maura had described, she walked up and rang the bell, almost expecting to find Maura in her pajamas, since it was getting late. Instead, Maura answered the door looking positively stunning in a ruffled sleeveless top, tight white jeans, and stilettos. Who wore stilettos around the house? Jane didn't even wear shoes at home. Maura was also perfectly made up and had on some big diamond bracelet. Jane suddenly felt very underdressed in her sweatpants, tank top, and sweater, but nonetheless, she felt a strange sense of peace envelop her as she entered Maura's apartment. _Refuge from the storm_. That was what Maura had become to her, wasn't it? Maura was probably the weirdest person Jane knew – as she soon discovered, the woman had a giant _tortoise_ running around her house, and didn't seem to understand why Jane found that so surprising – but she exuded a sense of sanity, of calmness, that made Jane feel like she was safe here.

After giving her a glass of water, Maura led Jane into her guest room. It was a big room for a spare, very feminine with a fireplace in one corner and a giant painting of a topless woman on the wall. For just a second, Jane's stomach swooped. _Boobs. She has boobs on the wall. That means she must like girls, right?_ But then she reminded herself that artsy people were always hanging up nude paintings. It might not mean anything. Still, watching the blonde prepare a bed for her did have an arousing effect. Between the Hoyt nightmares and Maura's hotness, she doubted she'd get any sleep tonight, but at least she had a quiet place to rest.

As they talked, a thought kept pricking the back of Jane's mind. Maura really did look drop-dead gorgeous. It didn't make the least bit of sense that she had gone to this much effort to look good while lounging about her house alone at night. Okay, maybe Jane could believe that Maura's typical loungewear actually consisted of a frilly blouse and designer jeans. And she was pretty sure the makeup was the same as it had been at work, so maybe she just hadn't taken it off yet. The jewelry was a bit more of a stretch. Maybe she'd had that bracelet and those dangly earrings and that big ring on at work, but wouldn't she have taken it all off when she came home and changed into her more "casual" clothes? But okay, fine, maybe she just really liked wearing jewelry, even when she was by herself. But the _shoes_ – that was the kicker. She knew Maura loved her fancy uncomfortable-looking shoes, but come _on_. _Nobody_ would wear stilettos while relaxing at home. It was impossible to _relax_ in those shoes. Maura was trying to look good, and it was working. Was it possible she was putting in the effort because she wanted to look nice for Jane?

But then the doorbell rang, and Jane's heart sank. Maura was expecting someone else; that was who she was all fixed up for. It was probably a man. When Maura went to answer the door, Jane poked her head around the doorway of the guest room, listening. Her heart sank even further. It wasn't just a man; it was fucking Agent Dean. He was interested in Maura, and she wanted to look cute for _him_. When he left and Maura started coming back down the hall, Jane hastily closed the door and jumped into bed. Maura knocked.

"Go away, I'm asleep," Jane called. This night at Maura's seemed a lot less exciting now that she knew the ME had a suitor. A suitor worth putting on stilettos for.

Maura ignored her, though, and came into the room. Then she did something very unexpected. Stepping out of those uncomfortable shoes, she got in bed with Jane. She did it casually, as if they did this all the time, sliding right up to Jane with their arms touching. Jane kinda wished she didn't have the sweater on now.

"Are we having a sleepover, or is this your way of telling me you're attracted to me?" Jane blurted out in amusement.

Maura looked at her. She opened her mouth like she was going to say something, and then she stopped.

"Yes?" said Jane.

"Um, well…to be honest…"

Jane's heart sped up. "Yeah? Spit it out."

"I _do_ find you very attractive."

Jane stared at her. "Really?"

Maura nodded. "Is that…is that bad?"

Jane chuckled. "No, it's not bad. You're a hell of a looker yourself."

"You think so?" Maura smoothed her blouse with a pleased smile.

"You look gorgeous. Can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"Did you dress like this because I was coming, or because Dean was?"

Maura's eyes met Jane's. Damn, she was beautiful. "Because you were. Why would I dress up for Dean? He was just dropping something off related to a case."

"What case?"

"I can't say."

Curious, but not the most important matter at hand. "So why would you dress up for me? I'm just running from my mother."

"I wanted to see if you would find me attractive."

"Well, mission accomplished. So what are you gonna do now?"

Maura held her gaze, a blush creeping into her cheeks. "Ideally, I'd like to kiss you."

Jane almost had to wonder if Hoyt had already gotten her and she was now knocked out and having a beautiful dream, except it felt so real. Not real like a realistic dream, but incredibly real, like her senses were heightened and she could feel everything – the comforter under her, the warmth of Maura's arm against her own, the air going in and out of her lungs, her heart pumping blood through her body. She had never felt more alive, or more present, than she did in this moment. It had to be real.

Jane shifted a little, turning onto her side to face Maura, and Maura did the same, her eyes full of hope. Jane reached out and ran her fingers through Maura's beautiful, shiny hair. It felt like strands of silk. Then she took Maura's perfectly made-up face in her hands and captured the lips she'd been dreaming about for months. Maura yielded with a soft moan, her lips plying Jane's, soft tongue requesting entrance. Jane felt her entire body light up with an arousal unlike anything she'd felt before. She ran her fingers lightly down a soft, toned arm as Maura reached for her, tugging her sweater down her shoulders. Jane pulled back, gasping for air.

"Are you trying to undress me?" she asked breathlessly.

"Is that okay?" Maura asked innocently.

Jane tried unsuccessfully to catch her breath. _Life is too short not to say what you really mean_. "Yeah. Yeah, it's okay."

Maura promptly resumed the activity of doing away with Jane's sweater, her lips trailing down Jane's neck and onto her collar bone as she did so.

"Have you done this before?" Jane asked, surprised by how natural Maura seemed.

"What, had sex?" asked Maura before moving her lips onto Jane's shoulder. Every spot her lips touched continued to tingle even after she moved on.

"Is that what we're doing?" Jane asked, equal parts alarmed and ecstatic.

"I hope so," said Maura, her soft hands gently creeping up Jane's tank top. Her fingers left what felt like trails of light behind them, and Jane knew she was going to let this woman do whatever the hell she wanted to her.

"Yeah, I hope so too," breathed Jane. She let her left hand creep slowly up the ruffles of Maura's blouse, giving Maura plenty of time to stop her, but of course she didn't. So that meant Jane had permission to cup a large, round breast through the material, to feel its weight, its shape. And that was exactly what she did.

"Yes, I've had sex before. Did you think I hadn't?" Maura seized the hem of Jane's tank top and lifted it over her head, revealing an old sports bra Jane had never really expected anyone to see.

"No, I was sure you had," said Jane, fumbling for the hook on the back of Maura's blouse. "Just not…"

"With a woman?" Maura quickly did away with the sports bra, tossing it to the floor.

"Yeah. Have you?" Finally getting the hook undone, Jane lifted the blouse over Maura's head and dropped it to the floor, hoping the fancy material wouldn't get too wrinkled. Maura was, of course, wearing a lacy silk bra. Jane paused for a moment to trace Maura's nipples through the material, feeling them stiffen at her touch.

"Mmm. No, I haven't. Have you?" Maura slipped her tongue down Jane's left breast and took an erect nipple into her mouth. Jane let out an involuntary moan.

" _Ohh_. Yeah. Yeah, I have."

Maura pulled back. "Really?" she said with an interested smile.

"Yeah." Jane unhooked Maura's bra and slipped it off, revealing two perfect orbs. " _Damn_." She reverently reached to touch them, cup them in her hands, feel their softness. She rolled the nipples under her thumbs. "Maura, you are so beautiful. I can't believe—" She rolled the blonde onto her back and tried to decide where to start. She knelt between Maura's legs and put her hands on her breasts, spreading her fingers out to cover as much ground as possible. She had long fingers, but she still felt like she wasn't covering much ground. She gave each tit a satisfying squeeze and then took hold of her nipples, tugging gently.

"How many?" Maura asked.

"How many what?"

"Women have you had sex with?"

"Fuck, I don't know. I wasn't making notches on my bed post. Just let me focus on you right now, okay?" She was going in. She ran her tongue around unbelievably soft skin before taking one pert nipple into her mouth. She alternated between sucking it and rolling it between her teeth, enjoying the sounds of pleasure coming from Maura. After a minute she moved to the other side, her hands wandering downward, over the soft skin of Maura's belly, down to her jeans. Suddenly feeling a sense of urgency, Jane undid Maura's fly and gave up her nipple so she could focus her energy on getting the jeans out of the way. Not surprisingly, Maura was wearing silk panties that matched her bra, and Jane could already smell her arousal. _I did that to her_ , she thought, tugging the panties down. _I made her feel this way_.

Maura, now completely naked except for her jewelry, smiled up at Jane, spreading her legs a little more as if to offer herself up. Her pussy was swollen and glistening and so ready for Jane. She touched her, tentatively at first, then more confidently, caressing soft, wet folds and listening to Maura's soft cries of pleasure. She stroked Maura's clit and watched as she closed her eyes and threw her head back, arching her back. It was the most beautiful thing Jane had ever seen.

Her fingers moved to Maura's entrance and paused, her eyes asking a silent question. "Jane, please," Maura whispered breathlessly.

That was all Jane needed. She slid two fingers into Maura's wetness. She was unbelievably soft inside, and at first Jane just wanted to explore, to understand the inside of Maura. But Maura wanted her to do more, so Jane began moving her fingers, in and out, slowly and then faster, paying attention to the movements that made Maura cry out the loudest, learning her. _I'm fucking Maura_ , Jane thought in amazement. _After months of thinking about it, I'm finally doing it_. This woman, laid out before her, was the most exquisite human being she'd ever met.

She kept working Maura, watching her every move, her every reaction, memorizing it, until the blonde closed up around her with a loud, sweet cry. Jane waited for her to relax before slowly pulling out, her fingers now glistening with Maura's juices. She lay down beside her and held her tight as she gasped, slowly coming down from her high.

"So you liked that?" Jane asked softly, feeling rather pleased with herself.

" _Yes_. Oh, Jane." Maura relaxed against her for just a moment longer, and then she lifted her head up, smiling seductively. "I'm going to give you an orgasm too," she announced.

"Oh really?" Jane actually didn't doubt that one bit. As turned on as she was, it would probably take about two seconds to put her over the edge.

"Yes, I am," Maura promised. She kissed Jane's lips, then worked her way down Jane's long neck, her chest, her stomach, planting sweet kisses all the way. Jane lifted her hips to make it easier for Maura to slide off her sweatpants and underwear, then watched in fascination as Maura lowered her mouth onto the part of Jane's body that most wanted attention just then. Her glittering hazel eyes made contact with Jane's as she made that first swipe with her tongue, watching for Jane's reaction.

She certainly had no reason to be disappointed. Jane immediately cried out, loudly enough to really hope the apartment was soundproofed. Encouraged, Maura continued licking, varying her strokes like a pro, watching Jane the whole time as she squirmed, her hands grabbing fistfuls of Maura's hair. Just when Jane didn't think it could get any better, Maura wet her fingers and slid them inside. That was enough to put Jane right over the edge. She came hard, no longer caring what the neighbors might hear as she screamed her ecstasy to the world. Maura kept working her with her fingers until she'd wrung every last bit of pleasure out of the detective, and then she stretched out beside her, surveying Jane's naked body and looking quite pleased with the situation.

"Tell me this isn't a one-night stand, because I really want to make this a regular thing," Jane rasped when she finally caught her breath.

Maura broke into a smile. "Jane, I never had a one-night stand in mind. I really care about you. I've felt a really strong connection with you ever since we started working together, and I'd hoped for a while that it might turn into something like this."

Jane smiled affectionately. "Me too." She snuggled up closer to the blonde, finding a strand of her hair to play with. "You certainly succeeded in taking my mind off Hoyt for a while. I wouldn't have thought it could be done."

"I hoped I've helped you to relax to you can finally get some rest." Maura tenderly kissed Jane's collarbone, her fingers lightly circling a naked breast.

"It's probably the most relaxed I'll ever feel with a serial killer stalking me." Jane kissed the top of Maura's head, and then a horrible thought occurred to her. She drew in her breath.

"What is it?" Maura said, lifting her head to look at Jane.

"It's Hoyt. He only kills couples, except for me. But if he finds out about you…"

"How would he find out? Jane, the only people who know are you and me, and we can keep it that way as long as we like. Tomorrow we go to work and we act like nothing happened, and in private we can do what we want. We're working as hard as we can to bring him and his apprentice down."

"Are you really sure you want to take that risk? If anything happened to you, I don't think I'd ever forgive myself." She couldn't explain why the mere thought of someone harming Maura in any way made her feel like there was a knife in her heart, but it did, and she certainly wasn't going to be the reason something happened to her.

"Jane, I'm not going to let Hoyt dictate what I do with my life. I want to be with you. Isn't that what you want?"

Jane lightly touched Maura's face. "Yeah. More than anything."

"Then that's what we'll do. He's not going to stop us from living." Maura lifted Jane's hand and kissed one of her scars. "Just relax, and talk about something else. So you say you've been with women before?"

Jane looked down. This wasn't something she talked about, with anyone, but there was no point keeping it a secret from Maura at this point. "I've kind of always liked girls, but I kept hoping it was something I could…get over."

"Because of being Catholic?"

Jane sighed. "I guess that's part of it, but it's not really that I think it's wrong. It's just, my family is pretty religious, and my early experiences were pretty disastrous."

Maura looked at her, eyes big and sad. "What happened?"

"Well, the first girl I had a crush on was my best friend, Emily. We were besties when we were little, anyway. Then in eighth grade, she got these big boobs, just seemed to pop up overnight. I couldn't stop looking at them, it was like my eyes just went there even when I told them not to."

"You do seem very fond of breasts," Maura observed.

"Yeah. Well, I tried not to be, but Emily noticed. She said it was creeping her out. Then she just kind of dumped me as her friend."

"Ouch."

"Yeah, it kinda broke my heart. I told everyone she didn't need me anymore because all the boys had started paying attention to her, and they had, but it wasn't really that. It was because she noticed I was paying the same kind of attention to her the boys were."

"That must have been very painful for you."

"Yeah, it was. I was at Catholic school, my family went to Mass regularly, so I knew I couldn't be gay anyway. I dated boys through high school, and I really liked some of them, so I told myself the thing with Emily was just a one-off. But then I went to community college, and there were quite a few hot girls in my classes. I was starting to think, you know, people come out, and their families freak, but then they get over it. Everything works out. There was this girl named Tina I got to be friends with. She had a boyfriend, but she flirted with me all the time, and I flirted back. She kept saying she wanted to try it with a girl. One night she got really drunk and we went to her place and started making out, and well, that turned into my first time with a woman."

"Wow. What happened?"

"We did it a bunch more times over the next few months, always when she was drunk. I was crazy about her, and I hoped she'd break up with her boyfriend for me, but she didn't, and she kinda treated me like a yo-yo most of the time."

"Like a yo-yo?"

"Yeah, one day we're best friends, the next she's barely talking to me. I could tell she felt guilty about what we were doing. But she complained that her boyfriend couldn't make her come, and I could, so when she'd get really horny, she'd hang with me and get drunk enough to forget her conscience. I should have known she was using me, but…"

"It's hard to see clearly when you're enamored with someone."

"Exactly. Then I made the horrible mistake of telling her how I felt. I wanted to know if there was a possibility of us being together, really together, because I was tired of being a yo-yo. She freaked and said it would never happen, that she loved her boyfriend, and she never really wanted sex with me, it was all me…which it wasn't. It was always her calling me, inviting me over when her boyfriend was busy somewhere else. But after she found out I was taking it more seriously than she was, she said we couldn't do it anymore."

"Did you stay friends after that?"

"No. At first she just gave me the cold shoulder, but when I tried to talk to her about it again, she said what happened with me just made her realize how important her relationship with her boyfriend was. Then she told our mutual friends to stop inviting me out because I made a pass at her. Trying to get out in front of the whole thing, I guess, so if I told anyone what we did, they wouldn't believe me. One of our friends lived in my old neighborhood, and somehow word got back to my mom that I was a flaming lesbian. She absolutely panicked, thinking I'd never get married or have kids and that people were going to beat me up for being gay, begging me to talk to our priest and try to be reconditioned or something so I could get 'back to normal.' I swore to her that the rumors weren't true and that I wasn't a lesbian at all, and then to prove it, I got a boyfriend. She felt so much better, and I promised myself I was going to find a way to be straight or else stay single forever, because otherwise I was going to drive away all my friends and disappoint my family." She heaved a sigh, still feeling the burden of all those years.

"But then there were other girls."

"Yeah. There were. But it was never serious." She stroked Maura's back, grounding herself in the feeling of the blonde's soft skin. "It happened the first time when I was 21. I'd just started at the police academy, and I was doing great there. I loved it. I was practically the only woman, though, and a lot of the guys hit on me. It was like they couldn't even see me as a peer; I was just eye candy to them. I overheard some of them saying they bet I'd find a man and drop out. Fucking infuriating. So I kinda put my spikes out, made clear I wasn't there to find a date. I was there to become a cop, that's it. They started calling me a dyke. And I thought, 'they're right, aren't they? I can't admit it, but I am.' And then I started thinking, I was a grown woman, I could get release if I wanted it. No one had to know. So I drove out to the suburbs one weekend, got a drink at a gay bar. A woman nearly twice my age showed up to buy me a drink. She was pretty butch, not really my type but kinda hot anyway, and we got to talking, and then she took me out back and fucked me against the wall. Never saw her again. A month later, I drove out to a different bar to see if I could pick a girl up. It really wasn't that hard."

"I bet it wasn't, for you," Maura said with a smile.

Jane chuckled a little. "It kinda became a pattern. I'd go months without doing it. I'd tell myself I wasn't going to do it again. But then I'd just kinda really feel the need for release, especially if I was stressed about something. I'd go out to the suburbs so I'd be less likely to be seen, find a hot girl, tell her a fake name, and we'd fuck. That was all it ever was, just fucking. I'd tell myself I just had to get it out of my system and I wouldn't do it again."

"When was the last time?"

"Had to be close to a year ago. Since I've met you, I haven't done it. I guess…I've been thinking about you. I don't want to fuck some random girl from a bar anymore. I kinda just want you."

Maura smiled brilliantly. "Do you feel like you're ready to come out now?"

"I just did, didn't I?"

"To me. What about everyone else?"

Jane sighed again. "Yeah, if I have a reason to. If you're gonna be my…girlfriend?"

Maura nodded. "I want to be."

"Then I have to come out, sooner or later. I'm not gonna force you to live in a closet, and I'm certainly not letting my mom keep bugging me about finding a husband when I'm already with the most amazing person I know. Times have changed a lot since I was nineteen."

"That's true," Maura agreed. "Women can marry women now, here in Massachusetts, and lesbian couples have children all the time."

"Yeah. I predict my mom would freak out for a few days, maybe a few weeks at the most, and then she's going to start bugging me to get married." Jane felt her cheeks redden at the thought of marrying Maura. She certainly wasn't ready to make a decision like that, but it was the first time she'd thought of marrying anyone without being disgusted by the idea.

"Well, nonetheless, I won't pressure you to come out to anyone before you're ready. I'm just happy to have the chance to be with you."

"Me too." Jane pressed her lips to Maura's forehead. "So what about you? What made you suddenly want to do this?"

"It's not really sudden. My first kiss was a girl, when I was at boarding school. We were about fifteen. She said it was just practice, because neither of us had kissed a boy before. There weren't too many opportunities at an all-girls boarding school. So we 'practiced,' a few times, and I quite enjoyed it, but I had a feeling I shouldn't tell her how much I enjoyed it. I didn't really think much of it at the time. In college I started dating men, and I quite enjoyed it. In med school I had little time for dating, though, and I developed an enormous crush on one of my female classmates. She never reciprocated my feelings. I don't think she ever really understood how I felt, thankfully, but she didn't seem that interested in me even as a friend."

"She didn't deserve you, then."

"Maybe not, but I was aware that my feelings for her were as strong as they'd been for my boyfriends. I knew then that I could be in a relationship with either a woman or a man, but over the years, I only seemed to have opportunities with men, and few of those turned into real relationships."

"That's hard to believe. Anyone in their right mind would want you, male or female."

"Well, only the males were pursuing me, and I've never been any good at doing the pursuing, whether for friendship or dating. When I try to be friendly, I just come across as awkward, I think. Women have never wanted much to do with me other than casual friendships or working relationships, and men seem to be primarily interested in my looks. My personality usually drives them away." She smiled up at Jane. "But not you."

"I love your weird personality," said Jane.

"And you pursued me. You come to the morgue and bring me snacks, and you called tonight asking to come over. I just wasn't sure if you were after friendship or romance."

Jane chuckled, running her fingers through Maura's hair. "I was after whatever the hell you were willing to give me."

"I'll give you anything you want," Maura murmured. "I'm so glad you came tonight."

"Me too." Jane held Maura tightly, protectively. And, to her surprise, she actually got some sleep.

~R&I~

A few days later, they were standing in Jane's trashed apartment with a dog and a baby tortoise.

A lot had happened in the time that elapsed, most of it not so good. The important thing was that Hoyt was back behind bars, a bit worse for the wear, and his apprentice was dead.

Agent Dean had turned out to be interested in Jane, not Maura, and she had blown him off very awkwardly, since she didn't want to say she was seeing someone. Hopefully things would be out in the open the next time he came to work on a case.

Korsak was hurt, but he was going to be okay. Jane was just keeping his new dog for him until he got out of the hospital. At least, she was pretty sure that was the plan.

The tortoise was completely unexpected. Apparently Jane's new girlfriend was the sort who gave expensive gifts. Really _weird_ expensive gifts.

Jane and Maura had both been insanely busy with the case, what with a stakeout one night and Jane getting kidnapped the next night, so they hadn't had any serious quality time together since that first night. They'd snuck a few kisses during what precious few private moments they'd gotten, but that was it. Now they were in Jane's apartment together for the first time, and it couldn't have been less romantic. The place was utterly ruined, and Jane wasn't looking any better herself. She was filthy, with bandages covering a second-degree burn on her chest and a cut on her neck. To say she was also rattled was an understatement.

But Maura, quick to prove her loyalty, had shown up to help restore order to Jane's world, bringing with her the dog and the new tortoise. It was proof of just how quirky and sweet she was, and Jane had no idea how she'd gotten this lucky.

"So," Maura said, casting Jane a sexy smile as she pulled on some latex gloves, "where do you want me to start?"

Jane looked at her very carefully. "In the shower."

"Oh, okay." Maura began heading towards the bathroom.

"No." Jane put a hand on Maura's arm, stopping her. "I mean at your place. I need a shower, but, not here. This is a crime scene."

"Oh, you want to take a shower at my place?"

"Yes. And um, that's where I want you to start."

Maura studied her for a moment, perplexed, and then a smile spread across her face. "You want me in the shower with you?"

"Yes please. I could use some…stress relief."

Maura grinned. "Great!" she said. "Let's go!"


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Episodes 1.2: Boston Stranger Redux and 1.3: Sympathy for the Devil

For the past two months, Maura had felt like she was walking on air. Everything she did now had extra meaning. Grocery shopping meant more now, because she would share the food with Jane. Taking a shower was an important event because she was getting herself all clean and smooth and sweet-smelling so Jane could enjoy traveling every inch of her body with hands and lips and tongue. Just waking up in the morning was exciting, even on the mornings when Jane wasn't there, because it was another day to spend in the world with Jane.

Maura was in love, and the very best part was, Jane loved her too.

She hadn't been sure about that at first. For weeks after realizing it herself, she was afraid to tell Jane her feelings. Jane wanted to move slowly. It was her first real relationship with a woman, and as far as Maura could tell, it was the most serious relationship of any kind she had been in. That was why Jane wanted to keep it between the two of them for now. Maura was afraid it would seem like she was pushing for too much too soon if she told Jane she loved her.

But then one day, something completely unexpected had happened: Maura solved a murder, and as a result, the killer had put a gun to her head. Maura had never had a gun pointed at her before, had never really expected such a thing to happen in her line of work, and she hadn't known what to do at first. When Jane came into the room, Leahy had ordered her to put her own gun down, which she did over Maura's protests. Maura was certain they would both be killed, but they were able to work together to overpower the old man, and neither woman had gotten hurt. Still, Maura couldn't stop thinking about it.

That night at Maura's apartment, the two women had made love almost frantically. Afterwards they had clung to each other amidst the rumpled silk sheets, chests heaving.

"I thought I was going to die today," Maura began, but Jane cut her off.

"I wouldn't have let you die," she said gruffly, giving Maura a kiss.

"Let me finish," said Maura. "I was afraid I was going to die today, without ever having told you that I love you."

Jane pulled back to look at the blonde. "You love me?"

"Yes," said Maura, "and I understand if you don't feel the same way right now, but I just couldn't stand the thought of never telling you. I love you so much, and—"

"I love you too," Jane said.

Maura paused. "You do?"

Jane ran her fingers through Maura's hair. "I've never loved anyone like this. It kind of scares me a little, but…I'm no coward."

Maura grinned. "I've never loved anyone quite like this either," she admitted. "You just…never stop amazing me. I can't get enough of you."

Jane nodded. "It feels like we just _fit._ "

"We do fit," Maura agreed, relieved that Jane understood. "We fit perfectly."

And now that she knew Jane loved her, anything seemed possible to Maura. She had even gotten Jane to agree to run the Massachusetts Marathon with her, even though Jane had no experience with marathons!

That conversation had happened _during_ sex. Jane was sitting on the edge of her bed, naked, while an equally naked Maura sat in her lap, legs wrapped around the detective's waist, arms around her neck. Jane's fingers were pumping inside Maura while the other hand was on Maura's rear end, supporting her. Her eyes were on Maura's breasts, which were bouncing freely as Maura thrust her hips over and over as if to devour Jane's fingers with her vagina. Maura was panting like she was running a marathon, which reminded her of the thing she'd wanted to ask Jane.

"Jane," she said breathlessly, "I'm running the Massachusetts Marathon in June, to raise money for a charity I'm involved with. Have you ever run a marathon before?"

"No," Jane answered before going after a bouncing breast with her tongue.

"I love marathons," Maura panted. "I used to do several each year, but now I only have time to do one. My average finishing time is two hours and forty-five minutes."

"Mm." Jane tried and failed to catch a nipple between her teeth.

"I'd love it if you'd run with me this year. If you train with me, I can help you set a pace to run the qualifying time. All you have to do is run within three hours and thirty-five minutes. You're fit enough to do that."

"Mm-hm." Jane finally caught the nipple she was after, but then she lost it again.

"So you'll do it? You'll run with me?"

"Yeah, sure." Jane recaptured the nipple and began sucking hard. Thrilled by the idea of having Jane to run with, Maura began riding Jane's fingers even harder, quickly bringing herself to orgasm. Jane was so turned on, she cried out too.

The following morning, when Maura brought up the marathon again, Jane was a little less agreeable.

"What kind of running shoes do you have?" Maura asked as she got dressed.

"Um, well, I don't really have specific _running_ shoes," said Jane, tugging at a knot in her hair with her comb.

"I'll take you to get some," Maura said enthusiastically. "You'll need them for your training."

"What training?"

"For the marathon!"

Jane made a face. "Yeah, about that. I've never really _liked_ running. I'm more of a gym workout kind of gal."

"You'll love it once you get into it! There's nothing better than watching the sun come up just as your endorphin rush really starts to kick in as you're running through the streets of Boston."

Jane made a face. "Watching the sun come up? Yeah, that's another thing I'm not really a big fan of."

"You don't like the sunrise?"

"No, I like it, I just really don't like being awake when it happens."

Maura smiled at her. "It's hard at first, but when you get used to it, you'll really love it!"

"Yeah." Jane put her hand on Maura's shoulder. "Look, honey, I…I really love doing stuff with you, I do, but I think the marathon might be a bigger commitment than I can handle."

Maura's smile faded. "So you don't want to do it?"

"I'm sorry, Maura. I just…you really shouldn't ask me to do stuff when your boobs are bouncing in my face."

"Oh." Maura felt tears prickling her eyes and tried to hold them back, but it was no good. She turned away as they spilled over, afraid Jane would think she was silly to cry over this.

"Maura," Jane said, "you're not crying, are you?"

"I'm trying not to," Maura said, her voice brittle.

"Maura." Jane walked around her and put her hands on the blonde's shoulders. "You're that upset I don't want to do the marathon?"

"I was just really looking forward to running with you," Maura said. "Not just during the marathon, but before, during training. I usually run alone, and I wanted you to be with me."

"Maura…maybe I can run with you sometimes, but I'm just not sure about the marathon."

"It's just a big deal to me, now that I only do one each year, and I wanted to share it with you."

"You can still share it with me. I'll come watch you. I'll be right there at the finish line to give you a big kiss."

"But it's not the same," Maura said, stifling a sob. "I wanted it to be _our_ thing, not just my thing. And if you ran too, we'd earn double the money for my charity."

"What's the charity?"

"Professionals for Underprivileged Kids of Excellence. It's to help provide opportunities for bright, talented children whose families can't afford what they want to do, whether it's ice skating lessons or math camp. It's such an important charity because there are so many kids whose potential is wasted because what they're good at is too expensive. I know if I hadn't been adopted by wealthy people that I likely wouldn't be where I am today, and it saddens me to think I might have had a completely different life if I'd stayed with my birth mother, whoever she might have been. I just want to help children who don't have all the privileges I had growing up."

Jane nodded. "It sounds like a great cause."

"It is." Maura wiped a tear away. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have gotten so excited about the whole thing. I should have known you were only agreeing because you were in the throes of sexual ecstasy."

"Oh, Maura." Jane pulled her into a hug. "Don't cry. I'll do it."

Maura instantly brightened. "You will?"

"I might regret it, but sure, if it'll make you happy, I'll do it. I already said yes. I don't want you to think I'm the kind of person who backs out of things."

Maura pulled back and grinned at her. "You won't regret it! I'll make sure you don't! It's really fun, Jane, you'll see."

"I'll see one way or the other," said Jane with a resigned sigh. "It's a damn good thing you're so cute."

So they started training as soon as Jane got her new running shoes, and Maura was ecstatic to be sharing something she loved with the woman she loved. She was happier than she could ever remember being, even the first time she had been in love, back in college. Maura Isles was one happy lady.

There was just one thing.

It was starting to bother her a little that Jane wasn't telling her family about them. It made sense at first, but now things had gotten serious. Why wouldn't you tell your family about the woman you loved? Jane was very close to her family, but Maura had only met two of them: her brother Frankie because he worked at BPD, so she saw him around sometimes, and their mother Angela, who sometimes showed up to bring Jane things like sandwiches (and to spy on her children, according to Jane). She had never met Jane's father, Frank, or her youngest brother Tommy, although that was more understandable since he was in prison, and Maura didn't think Jane ever went to visit. Jane didn't even like talking about Tommy, which of course made Maura curious, but she understood Jane couldn't be pressed.

It just stung a little when Jane went off to some big dinner at her parents' house, and Maura was left on her own, doing the sort of thing she had done each night before she and Jane got together: working late, usually, or sitting at home reading her medical journals with a glass of wine. After all the evenings she now spent with Jane, feeling happy and loved, it was getting harder to stomach the one night a week she had to spend in silence.

That was how she found herself one evening in April, two months after that fateful night when she and Jane had first made love. Jane had gone to dinner at her parents' house, some fancy dinner with guests. Angela had bought a little black dress for Jane to wear, which made Maura feel wistful. Jane rarely worse dresses, and Maura would have loved to see her in this one. Most of the time all she got to see was Jane's tomboy side, which she found unbelievably sexy, but the detective also had a feminine side, which was equally sexy. That was what Maura found so unbelievably attractive about Jane: that she so perfectly embodied both masculine and feminine traits, rolling them all together into one delicious package. It made Maura salivate just to think of her while she worked late in the dim morgue.

And then, as if wishing for her had made her appear, Jane came barreling into the morgue, wearing that black dress that clung to her in all the right places, carrying a bottle of wine and a bouquet of flowers.

"You would not _believe_ what my mother did to me," she ranted.

"What?" asked Maura, unable to hide her delight at her girlfriend's unexpected arrival.

"This whole dinner was a trap! She just wanted to set me up with – with Joe Grant! He was there, waiting! That's who she had me dress up for! She says she just wants to make sure I'm taken care of!"

Maura snickered a little.

"You think this is funny? I told her I don't need a man to make me happy, and even if I did, it wouldn't be _him_. I can't believe how embarrassing this is. And he came! He knew what this was about, and he came anyway!"

"Well I'm not surprised, Jane. We already knew he was interested in you."

"I thought I'd made it clear I wasn't interested in him! Why does my mom have to keep trying to find me a husband? Why can't she just let me be?"

"I know it's frustrating, Jane, but you know she's just going to keep doing this until you tell her the truth: that you're already seeing someone."

Jane nodded reluctantly. "You're right. It's time."

"I don't want you to do anything you're not ready for," Maura promised, "but if you really want your mother to stop setting you up with men…"

"No, I think I'm ready," said Jane. "She needs to see that I have someone in my life, someone amazing." She stepped forwards and kissed Maura softly. Maura easily slid her arms around the brunette, her hands moving down onto a firm gluteus maximus.

"Wow, someone's eager," chuckled Jane.

"I like the way you look in this dress."

"Yeah?"

"Yes. I think you should wear dresses more often."

Jane made a face. "Don't push your luck, lady."

"I think I can," Maura giggled. "How about we take your mother for brunch this weekend, and talk to her? You can wear a dress for that."

"Not _this_ dress."

"Of course not, this is evening wear. I'll pick something out for you."

Jane groaned. "Fine, we'll take her. This weekend. Just my mom for now, okay? I don't want her and my dad arguing."

"That's fine. Just your mom."

"Okay." Jane gazed down at Maura. "You realize I have to be head-over-heels in love with you to even be considering this, right?"

Maura kissed her. "I know. And I appreciate it."

~R&I~

Angela Rizzoli was thrilled that the girls wanted to take her to brunch, and she was overjoyed when she saw the fancy restaurant Maura was bringing them to. She was so happy and grateful, Maura almost hated to potentially ruin her good mood by dropping the bomb that she was sleeping with her daughter. She chattered on over her food about how nice everything was and talked about everyday family stuff: Frank's plumbing business, her worries about Frankie Junior becoming a cop, how nice Jane would look if she fixed herself up more often.

"You're never going to get a man if you go around dressing like one," she pointed out. "You even walk like a man sometimes! Men don't like that, honey. Look at your friend here. She always looks so pretty and feminine. I bet you never have any trouble finding a boyfriend, do you, Dr. Isles?"

Maura nudged Jane meaningfully, her sympathy now gone. It was time to put an end to this charade.

Jane cleared her throat nervously. "Actually, Ma, there's a reason I wanted you to come here and get to know Maura a little better."

"I thought doing something nice for your mother was the reason?" said Angela.

"It is," said Maura carefully, "but there's also another reason. Jane?"

Jane took Maura's hand and squeezed it. "Ma, I want you to know Maura because she and I are…involved."

Angela gave her a blank look. "Involved in what?"

"A relationship." Jane looked at Maura. "Ma, I love her. I'm in love with her. It's serious, and I want you to accept her."

Angela looked dumbfounded. "So you _are_ a lesbian?" She looked at Maura. "And you too, Dr. Isles? I never would have guessed—"

"Actually, I'm attracted to both men and women," explained Maura. "But I'm attracted to Jane most of all."

Angela looked back at Jane. "And you? Do you like men as well as women?"

Jane shook her head. "Sorry, Ma. I tried to be attracted to men, I really did, but it's always been women for me. Sure, there were a few boys I had crushes on when I was younger, but I've only ever had strong feelings for women. I didn't want to hurt you and Dad, so I never got involved with anyone seriously, but then I met Maura and I just…fell for her. Hard. I can't keep hiding who I am, Ma. She means too much to me."

A tear slipped down Angela's face. "Was it something I did?" she whispered.

"No, Ma." Jane switched chairs to be closer to her mother, taking the older woman's hand in her own. "You didn't do anything to make me gay. It's just who I am."

"Some people at church say it's the mother's fault when a daughter is gay, that she didn't have a good enough relationship with her, so she's seeking that female companionship somewhere else."

"And that's ridiculous," insisted Jane. "You couldn't have been a better mother to me. And even if you _were_ a bad mom, I'd be looking for a new mother figure, not a girlfriend." She glanced at Maura. "Look, someday the church will catch up. I'm not like this because of anything anyone did _wrong_. It's the way God made me. That means it can't be a mistake."

"All scientific research points to sexual orientation being determined before birth," Maura added. "Environment doesn't play a role. Homosexuality and bisexuality are seen in other species as well, contrary to the worldview of certain political pundits."

Angela looked at Maura and then back at Jane.

"I understand if it takes you a while to get used to it," Jane said. "But this is how I've always been, and I can't keep being unhappy just so I can make everyone else happy. I want to be happy now myself, Ma. And Maura makes me happy."

"I didn't know you were unhappy," Angela whispered, more tears spilling over. "Oh, Janie, all I've ever wanted was for you to be happy."

Jane embraced her mother, blinking back her own tears. "I am happy, Ma. Happier than I've ever been. I just need you to support me and accept me, and accept Maura too. You'll love her if you get to know her. She's a wonderful person, she treats me well, and she loves me. And I love her."

Angela looked tearfully at Maura. "Are you Catholic?" she asked tremulously.

"No, sorry," said Maura. "But I do know a lot about the Catholic faith, and I'm very open-minded."

"So you might convert?"

"Well, no. But I will always support Jane in practicing her faith however she wishes to do so."

"She's a good person, Ma," Jane promised. "She's smart, beautiful, kind. She's everything I could ever want."

"Will you have children?" Angela asked.

"Ma, we've only been dating two months!" Jane hissed.

"We haven't talked about it yet," said Maura calmly, intuiting that this was something very important to Angela. "But if Jane wants to have children, then when we've reached a point in our relationship when it would be reasonable to do so, it's something I would be very happy to consider."

"Are you planning to get married? Lesbians can do that now, here in Massachusetts."

"Ma!" Jane said through gritted teeth, but Angela was only looking at Maura.

"Again, it's too early to decide if we will, but it's certainly on the table," said Maura. "I've always dreamed of having an elegant wedding if I found the right person."

Angela nodded, her eyes moving down to take in Maura's Gucci dress and her Birkin bag. "And you can take care of her?"

"Ma, I don't need to be taken care of!" Jane griped.

"What if you get seriously hurt on the job and you can't work anymore? What then?" Angela said, turning to her daughter. "You've chosen a dangerous line of work. I need to know you'll be okay."

"I'd get a pension," Jane insisted.

"Those pensions aren't that much!"

"If Jane and I get married in the future," Maura said, "she will never want for anything, financially speaking, for the rest of her life. And if we have children, neither will they." She smiled. "And since I'm a doctor, if she's ever hurt on the job, I can see to it that she gets the best medical care, both in the hospital and at home."

Angela nodded, reaching for Maura's hand. "And you love her?"

Maura looked at Jane and smiled. "Very much."

Angela nodded again. "Then I wish you both every happiness," she said. "It'll take some getting used to, but I just want you to be happy, Janie. That's all I ever wanted."

"Thanks Ma," said Jane, relieved tears sliding down her face. "I am happy, I really am. I wouldn't be doing this if it didn't make me happy."

"Let's not tell your father yet," said Angela. "I'm not sure how he'll take it."

"We can wait on that," agreed Jane. "I just need you to get on board…and to stop fixing me up with men!"

Angela laughed. "I'll stop," she promised.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Episode 1.5: Money for Nothing

Three months into dating Maura, Jane came to a startling realization: the woman was out of her league. _Way_ out of her league. In fact, Jane could not even begin to imagine why the woman was dating her, unless she was going through some kind of a phase. Slumming, it was called. Jane had heard of this, that rich people sometimes wanted to experience the working-class lifestyle for a while, just to see what it was like, but they always ended up going back to what they knew, settling down with another millionaire or billionaire (Jane still wasn't sure which class Maura was in, but it had to be one of those).

She'd heard similar things about bi girls. It was fun to fuck women for a while, but in the end, they always decided it was easier to be normal, and they found themselves husbands and had the required 2.5 kids. That was probably what Maura was doing with her: double slumming.

This sudden revelation had come about due to a case they were working on. A Fairfield had died, Adam Fairfield. They were trying to figure out whether his death was an accident or murder. He was definitely the most high-profile victim Jane had dealt with so far – certainly the first billionaire – but that wasn't the unsettling part to Jane. The unsettling part was finding out that Maura had dated Adam's brother, Garrett, in college. She knew the entire Fairfield family. She hadn't even mentioned it before because it wasn't a big deal to her. This was the sort of family her own family had always socialized with.

Jane had always known Maura was loaded. She knew she'd gone to a fancy boarding school as a child, that she'd never had to worry about whether her parents could afford tuition at Boston Cambridge University, the school Jane had dreamed of going to but knew would never be a possibility. She knew everything Maura owned was ridiculously expensive, that her Back Bay apartment probably cost double what Jane was paying for her own place, that she planned on buying a house in Beacon Hill, where everything was now in the millions. She'd always known all that, and yet it hadn't fully sunk in before that Maura was from a completely different world, because Jane had only ever seen Maura in her own world, on her turf. Most of their "dates" took place at the Dirty Robber. Sometimes Maura would drag Jane off to someplace fancy for dinner or a play or some charity event, but it always felt like the two of them were in their own bubble in those places, like Maura belonged to Jane and not to this world of superficial people who were constantly preoccupied with their public images. They usually drove around in Jane's squad car instead of Maura's Mercedes, and while Maura's apartment was upscale, it was hardly a millionaire's residence. Maura stood out a little in Jane's usual haunts, but it always made Jane proud, like her girlfriend was unique. Maura was rich, sure, but she was still within reach. She was Jane's; no one else's.

Until they found themselves standing in the Fairfields' mansion, gazing into the lives of people Jane had only heard about in the news before then, and suddenly she realized Maura did not stand out here. She was perfectly comfortable among these billionaires. This was where she came from. This was where she fit. She didn't stand out in Jane's world because she was unique; she stood out because she belonged in _this_ world.

And her ex-boyfriend? Still single, clearly still smitten with Maura, and definitely more desirable than Jane. If this was the sort of person who normally wooed Maura, then Jane couldn't imagine herself being anything other than a science experiment.

"I don't understand what your problem is," Maura said, getting flustered as Jane griped at her in the morgue.

" _My_ problem? You're the one giving special treatment to your deluxe friends. You wouldn't rush the process for a regular Joe like me."

"If _you_ died, I'd be rushing the process as fast as I possibly could, because you're the most important person in my life," Maura said, blinking back tears. "Although in reality, I wouldn't be able to work the case if you died, because I'm too close to you, and I'd be too distraught."

Jane softened a little. "Still, people should be treated the same no matter how much money they have."

"Do you really think money plays a role for me? I'm trying to get answers as quickly as possible because I know these people, Jane. I used to spend a lot of time with this family, and they were always good to me. I want to give them peace of mind. Maybe it's wrong to give special treatment, but I can't rest as long as people who used to treat me like family are suffering."

"Yeah, they're still treating you like family. Probably hoping you and Garrett get back together."

"They can hope that if they want to, but it isn't going to happen. I've already told him I'm seeing you."

"I doubt that will stop him."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means he's probably pretty confident that he can steal you away from me if he tries! I'm not much of a catch compared to him."

Maura stared at her. "You really think that?"

"Well, yeah. He's a worldly billionaire fashion designer, and a man to boot. If you marry him, you can go right back to that uppity world you're from, live in some sprawling estate in the suburbs, and he can take you all over the world and wine and dine you and let servants take care of you, and you can have babies with him and send them to preppy schools. I can't give you any of that."

"Are you finished?" Maura said.

"Probably not, but I'll stop for now."

Maura sighed. "Good, because if I wanted any of that, I would have it already. I'm the one who broke up with Garrett in the first place, and I've had plenty of other upper-class suitors I've turned down. I don't _want_ the sprawling estate full of servants, Jane. I don't want to travel the world nonstop, and I don't want some society-approved husband. What I want is a life that is my own, a life that isn't lived to impress others. I want to put down roots in the city I love and to have a job that gives my life meaning. I want to help people who are less fortunate than I am, and I want to be with someone I can't help loving instead of someone I'm _supposed_ to love. I want to be with _you_ , Jane. You're the most genuine, most honest person I've ever met. No one in the society I was raised in is like you. Everyone in that world learns how to say what they're supposed to say in order to make everyone else think what they need them to think, which I was never good at. With you, and the people I've met through you, I'm actually getting what I see, and I can be myself, comfortably. This is where I fit, Jane. This is where I belong."

Jane bit her lip. "You really mean that?"

"You already know I can't lie."

Jane smiled. "I'm sorry, for everything I said."

"It's okay," said Maura. She looked at Jane carefully. "I didn't have an extremely happy childhood, you know. I haven't had the happiest adulthood either…until I met you."

"Aw, Maura." Jane grabbed the blonde and pulled her close. "You make me happy too. It's just…hard to believe someone as incredible as you would really want to be with someone as ordinary as me, you know?"

"If you spend more time with the Fairfields, or any of the Boston Brahmins, you'll understand." Maura kissed her. "And maybe someday, you'll realize just how extraordinary _you_ are."

"Well _now_ you're making me blush."

Maura stood back and looked at her sternly. "Now if you're done being foolish, there's something I've been wanting to ask you."

"Oh yeah?"

Maura nodded. "I've been looking at houses to buy in Boston, and I think I've found what could be my dream house."

"Beacon Hill?"

"Yes. It's a house that was converted to apartments after World War Two and had a series of landlords that let it fall into a state of disrepair. It's now being gutted and converted back to a single-family home, as it was meant to be. If I buy it, I can have it remodeled to my specifications. It could be a wonderful home, one I could see myself potentially living in until I'm ready to retire. The house is on Chestnut Street, but the lot goes all the way back to Branch Street. There's a large garage, and a garden, both things that are hard to find in Beacon Hill. The house itself is four stories, plus a basement. There's room for five bedrooms, as well as some extra rooms. It's very solid construction; it just needs to be redone inside. It'll take months before it's ready to live in, of course, but it'll be beautiful then."

"It sounds amazing," agreed Jane. "So what's your question?"

Maura smiled slightly, her cheeks turning pink. "I want you to come look at it with me before I make a final decision. I want to find out what you think, and if you like it, I want your input on the remodeling plans."

"Maura, I'm not exactly the _Better Homes and Gardens_ type. I know nothing about this sort of thing."

"I know, but I'm hoping, when it's done, that you'll be willing to live there with me." She bit her lip.

"You want me to move in with you?"

Maura nodded. "Not right now, of course, but when I move into the house…if you want to, anyway …"

"Wow," said Jane. "It's a…big decision."

"I know," Maura acknowledged. "And you certainly don't have to decide anything yet. The house will be in my name only for now, and I'll be the one paying for everything. I'd just like your input before I buy, and as I remodel, and if you feel ready for that step when the house is ready, then I would like you to move in with me. If our relationship doesn't work out, then of course I'll move in by myself. This is a house I'd consider buying even if I were single, and it's a house I can see myself living happily in for years whether it's on my own or with a partner, or maybe even a family someday. I'm just…hoping my future will include you, and as such, I want to include you in my decisions about the future."

Jane nodded. "I'll look at it with you, and we'll see where things are when it's time to move in."

Maura lit up. "I'm planning to take a second look this weekend. Will you be available then?"

"Yeah, sure," said Jane, her heart rate speeding up. She couldn't believe she was looking at a house with Maura, already. Three months had flown by. But she had to admit, the thought of waking up next to that beautiful face every morning was a pleasant one. Given how hard she'd fallen for Maura in the past few months, she imagined a few more months would have her more than ready for cohabitation.

But that would mean coming out – to everyone.

~R&I~

Jane was already out to most of the people in her daily life. Everyone at work knew she was dating the chief medical examiner, and of course her mom knew. The only person who did not know was her father, and their extended family, which would probably give her mixed reactions. Her dad was the main one she was worried about. He minded his business and never listened to gossip, so it was easy to keep him in the dark, but she had to tell him sooner or later, and she really didn't know what he would do. He had always been fairly conservative in his thinking. He thought Frankie was too sensitive as a kid and that Angela coddled him too much, and he sometimes yelled at her that she was going to turn him into a homo. Jane was afraid of what he would say when he found out one of his kids _was_ a homo – just not the one he was worried about.

But she'd already resolved not to let her fears keep her from living her life anymore, and she certainly wasn't going to let Maura down, especially after the hard week she'd had. They'd gotten over their fight, of course, and Jane had even gone as Maura's date to Adam's fancy weird funeral dinner thingie. Then Maura had been the one to put together that Garrett was Adam's killer – a bit of a blow for her, to realize she had once dated a man who was capable of murder. Jane could understand why she found the whole thing deeply unsettling, and she really hoped looking at the house would cheer her up.

But as Jane quickly learned when they meet the realtor in Beacon Hill, "house" was an understatement. She was pretty sure the towering brick building qualified as a mansion.

"Well, what do you think of the location?" Maura asked anxiously.

"It's a great location," Jane admitted. "Right in the middle of Boston, just a few blocks from the Common, really short drive to work."

Maura lit up, nodding enthusiastically. "It's also very close to the Charles River Esplanade. The neighborhood has become increasingly popular in recent years because there are so many businesses within walking distance. Shops, restaurants, cafes. There's a yoga studio here, and a nice private school…" Maura trailed off nervously. "It's also only half a mile from Newbury Street, and two miles from Fenway Park!"

"Okay, you got me on the second one!" said Jane, grinning. "I'm not that excited about your boutiques, but I can get into being close to the Sox." She looked around. "So, a mile from work, two miles from Fenway, a half mile from your boutiques. Yeah, it's a good location."

"So, let's look inside!" said Maura as the realtor unlocked the front door. "It's not very pretty in there right now, but it will be."

"Okay, lead the way," said Jane.

She followed Maura through a paneled front door with sidelights on either side and a fanlight above, into an entry vestibule with an identical door on the other side. Through that they came to a foyer with a big, curving staircase. Jane peered up and saw an identical staircase above it, and another one above that. "Wow," she said.

"There's an elevator shaft down the other end of the hall," said the realtor, a middle-aged man who smiled way too much. "There's currently no functional elevator, but you could easily put one in."

"You could have an elevator in your house!" said Jane.

"I could, but it's healthier to take the stairs."

"What if I break my leg at work?"

Maura smiled. "This is why I wanted to bring you! If you think you could make use of an elevator, I can certainly put one in, but I prefer to use stairs myself."

"Well, so do I normally, but if we already have an elevator shaft…"

Maura led Jane around the house, which was huge. It had a basement with a big finished room, which Jane thought would make a good exercise room. The first floor had space for a large dining room, a gourmet kitchen, a big living room in back, and a mudroom going out onto the patio, which led to a large two-car garage facing the next street. Maura wanted to add a studio apartment above the garage.

"What do you need that for?" Jane asked. "You want a tenant?"

"I want a guest house, so my mom can come visit," Maura explained.

"You don't think there's enough space in the house for a guest room?" Jane asked, gesturing to the towering behemoth behind them.

"I do, but my mother is used to staying in guest houses when she visits her friends, or else staying in hotel suites," said Maura nervously. "She likes to have her own kitchenette to make tea in."

"She sounds difficult to please," said Jane, who had not yet met Constance Isles, although Maura said she had told her all about Jane and that she was supportive. She wondered if Mrs. Isles would be as pleased with her in the flesh as she had been from Maura's stories about her. She was probably hoping Maura would marry a Fairfield, or someone similar.

"It's a nice yard," Jane said, looking around. Most of it was paved, but there were a few trees.

"Yes, I'd like to take up most of these pavers so I can have a garden," said Maura. "And if I ever have kids, it'd be nice to have a grassy area for them to play on."

"Yeah, you need a swing set for kids," Jane agreed. "And a basketball hoop."

Maura looked around uncertainly. "We can work on that."

"Let's go back inside. I want to see the upstairs," said Jane, taking Maura's hand. "If you buy this place, that's where most of the excitement will happen, if you know what I mean."

Maura grinned, blushing, and the realtor followed them inside, awkwardly trying to look like he hadn't heard that last bit.

The second floor was a former apartment with two large rooms and a narrow room jutting out in back. Maura excitedly discussed her plans to put in a master suite with an attached bathroom and a walk-in closet with a yoga room on the other side.

"A yoga room?" chuckled Jane. "You need a whole room for that?"

"Well, it'd be nice," said Maura. "Although it could easily be converted into a nursery in the future."

Jane smiled, looking around the run-down eat-in kitchen that would become Maura's yoga room, and she realized why her stomach felt so queasy. They were looking into the future. Here was where Maura wanted to settle down, get married, raise children; and she wanted to do it with Jane. If Jane agreed to this, if everything worked out, this was the location where all the things Jane had never even dared to dream about might take place. It was dizzying to contemplate.

"I wanted to put a library out here," Maura said, walking into a narrow room that was part of an addition on the back of the house. "I was picturing a library with a little study attached, and since it overlooks the living room roof, maybe French doors in the library leading onto a deck?"

Jane looked out at the imaginary deck. "You think you could make it private enough to enjoy sexy time al fresco?" she said in a low voice, leaning close to Maura's ear.

Maura bit her lip hungrily, studying the space. "I think I could find a way, with the right kind of railing, and creative use of potted plants."

"Then I'm in."

Maura giggled. "Let's look at the other floors!"

"How many are there?"

"Four."

"Okay, you _definitely_ need an elevator to live in this place."

On the third floor, Maura showed her where she intended to have two large bedrooms with en suite bathrooms. The fourth floor was actually the attic, where Maura was thinking of either putting in two smaller bedrooms or one large room, perhaps a rec room or future playroom.

"Exactly how many kids are you planning to have in the future?" Jane asked nervously, peering through the dormer window at the street below.

"I think I will decide that when the time comes," Maura said, squeezing her hand. "I just like to leave room for possibilities."

Jane squeezed back. "I guess that's what I love about you."

"I love the way you live in the present," said Maura. "But one of us needs to think about the future."

"Yeah, I guess."

They made their way down the three flights of stairs and walked back out onto the street. Jane looked around at the other brick row houses, all towering above them.

"So, do you like it?" Maura asked. "Could you see yourself living here with me, when it's fixed up?"

"It's really nice," said Jane. "I certainly never imagined myself living in a Beacon Hill mansion."

Maura nodded in resignation, her smile fading. "What part of Boston would you want to live in?"

"I…what?"

"I can look at other areas."

"No, you've always wanted to live in Beacon Hill!"

"I have. But I've also always wanted to love someone the way I love you, and I don't want you to live someplace you're not comfortable. There are nice houses in other parts of Boston. I want you to feel at home."

"Maura, it's Boston. I grew up playing at the Common, just two blocks from here. I'd definitely feel at home here."

"In this mansion, surrounded by rich people?"

Jane smiled. "With you? Yes." She slipped her arms around Maura's waist. "I'll always feel at home with you, as long as you're by my side."

Maura grinned. "So you like it?"

"Does it come with a butler named Jeeves?"

"Absolutely not. I might hire someone to come by and clean once a week, but that's all. It'll just be you and me."

"Then as long as you give me a room for weight machines, and let me hang Red Sox posters, and put a basketball hoop in back, and as long as I get to see you naked every night, we're good."

Maura kissed her. "That's the beauty of living together. We can see each other naked whenever we want."

"Sounds good to me." She pressed her lips to Maura's again, until she heard the realtor clearing his throat behind them.

"So, do you need time to think, or…"

Maura pulled away from Jane, her eyes sparkling. "Actually," she said, "I'd like to make an offer."


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Episode 1.6: I Kissed A Girl

June meant Pride Month in Boston, and Maura was excited to take Jane to their very first parade. She had spent weeks shopping for the appropriate gear, so she was a bit disappointed when Jane arrived to pick her up wearing her usual clothes. Jane, on the other hand, looked a little surprised when she saw Maura standing with a rainbow t-shirt, matching rainbow crystal necklace and bracelet, and white sneakers with shiny rainbows on the sides.

"Jane, why aren't you wearing anything rainbow?" said Maura, exasperated.

"I don't _have_ anything rainbow." Her eyes swept up and down Maura's form. "Really? Even the shoes?"

"They're Gucci," said Maura, as if that explained everything. "Here, I have an extra bracelet. You can't go to Pride without _anything_ rainbow on." She pulled off her spare bracelet and put it on Jane. "There, now we match!"

"Yay, now we're _those_ kinds of lesbians," said Jane in a voice completely devoid of excitement. "So are you ready to go?"

"Hold on, I got us both flags." She grabbed two rainbow flags on wooden sticks, each flag about two feet by one foot, and handed one to Jane.

"Maura, you know we're not _in_ the parade, right?" Jane asked.

"Maybe next year we will be," Maura said. "I was thinking it might be fun for us to join the Lesbian Interact Club, and they march in the parade each year."

"LIC? You want to join a club called _lick_?" Jane asked in disbelief as Maura pulled her out the door.

Maura had a lot of fun at the parade, even though she had a really hard time getting Jane to wave her flag like she was supposed to, and when Jane finally did wave it after a lot of prodding, it was with such melodrama that Maura strongly suspected she was being sarcastic. Maura was still happy to be there with her sexy girlfriend. A lot of other women eyed Jane that day, so Maura kept her close. They could look all they wanted to. Maura didn't even care if some of the women Jane had had one-night stands with during her single days was here, probably reliving the memory of really hot sex in an alley or hotel room or the backseat of a car. They could fantasize about Jane all they wanted, but there was only one woman she was going home with, and that was the woman she was currently working on remodeling plans with, for the house Maura was in the process of buying. Oh yes, Jane the long-closeted lesbian was finally settling down with a woman, and Maura was that woman. Of _course_ she was proud.

Unfortunately, not everyone was having such a great Pride month. One morning they had to leave in the middle of yoga class (oh yes, Maura had Jane coming to yoga with her now) to investigate a dead body found near a lesbian bar, and she turned out to be a married lesbian who had frequented the bar. Unfortunately, she hadn't been visiting with her wife. Actually, the bar was where she went to meet dates she found on a lesbian dating website, so she could _cheat_ on her wife. As a result, Jane now had to go undercover in the bar to meet people who might have dated the victim, and Maura had to go undercover as a waitress so she could collect DNA samples from the women's drinking glasses.

Maura had never gone undercover before. It was something medical examiners usually didn't do. It was kind of fun though, except for all the women she had to watch Jane flirt with. This was exactly what Jane used to do all the time, she realized. She used to come to lesbian bars, looking incredibly hot like she did tonight (that must why she'd been so insistent on picking out her own clothes!), and flirt with women until she found one to go have sex with. Maura felt simultaneously turned on and jealous. Every time she went to collect glasses from the table, she would pause for a moment with her cleavage in Jane's face, just to give Jane a little reminder of whom she'd be having hot sex with tonight. It seemed to work; Jane stared hungrily at her breasts every single time.

When Jane was done with all her "dates," Frost and Korsak packed up their recording equipment and headed out. Jane took off her wire, and Maura carefully packed the glasses she'd collected into her car, which she had parked in the alley, just outside the back door.

"Are we going to your place or mine tonight?" Jane asked, stretching.

"Mine," Maura said decisively. "But first…wouldn't you like to buy a drink for that waitress you've been eyeing all night, now that her shift is over?"

"What waitress?" Jane frowned.

"The one whose breasts you kept gazing at," Maura purred, stepping closer.

"Oh, her," Jane said, finally catching on. "Yeah, I think I could buy her a drink."

Maura kissed her on the cheek. "Pretend you're single again," she said. "And I'm the girl who want to pick up tonight."

"Oh, you're definitely the girl I want to pick up."

"Find me at the bar!" Maura hurried back inside and went behind the bar, pretending to make sure she'd gotten everything. Suddenly she felt someone standing behind her.

"You know, I met a lot of women tonight, but none of them really held my interest the way you did," said a husky voice. "Can I buy you a drink?"

Maura turned around and saw her girlfriend looking down at her, lust in her eyes. "I would like that," she said. "I just got done working for tonight."

"Well then, it looks like I have perfect timing. What would you like?"

"I'll have a cosmopolitan."

"So you like the girly drinks." Jane waved the nearest bartender over and ordered Maura's drink. When it came, Maura sipped it seductively.

"It's good," she said. "Would you like to try it?"

"I'll just have a sip," said Jane. "I've had enough to drink tonight."

Maura watched her taste the drink, her eyes swooping over that long neck. For a moment, it was as if she really hadn't seen Jane before, and she impulsively leaned over to taste her olive skin.

"Mmm, you're eager," Jane observed.

"Yes," Maura murmured. "Come on. Let's go out back."

"But you haven't finished your drink."

"I need _you_ more." She grabbed Jane's hand and led her through the kitchen, out the back door to the dark alley behind the bar.

"I need you now," Maura breathed, throwing her arms around Jane's neck and kissing her deeply. Jane pushed her up against the wall, hands roaming, quickly finding her breasts.

"You kept pushing these in my face all night," Jane panted when the kiss finally broke, her thumbs tracing Maura's nipples through the fabric. "You made it hard to concentrate."

"I wanted you concentrating on me, not those other women."

"Who knew you could be so jealous?" chuckled Jane. "It's kinda hot." She stooped to insert her tongue in Maura's cleavage, running it right up the tiny space between her breasts.

"Jane, I want you to take me right here," Maura said in a low voice. "Right now."

Jane took off her jacket and put it around Maura's shoulders. "Here, I don't want you to skin your back on the bricks in that skimpy top."

Maura shivered in anticipation of the act that could potentially skin her back. Her lips found Jane's long neck again, sucking and nibbling at her jugular as Jane's hands slipped up her skirt, sliding over her silk panties until they found the waistband, which she hooked her thumbs over, fingers sliding over bare skin as they slipped her panties down. They fell down around Maura's stilettos, and she stepped out of the panties, not wanting them to trip her later. Jane's hands were now lightly caressing bare buttocks, raising goosebumps as the cool night breeze crept up her skirt.

"Jane, touch me," she whispered, her hands gripping muscular shoulders. "Take me right here."

One hand moved to the front, fingers parting slick folds and exploring. Maura's breath hitched as Jane found her most sensitive spot.

"If you want me to fuck you," Jane said in her ear, "you're going to have to tell me so."

"I…I did," Maura said weakly. Just the sound of Jane's sexy voice made her wetter.

"Mmm, you said you wanted me to take you. You need to be more specific than that." Her fingers circled Maura's entrance teasingly. "Do you want me to fuck you?"

"Yes!"

"Then say it."

Maura swallowed. "I…I want you to…fuck me."

"I can't hear you."

"I want you to fuck me!" Maura shouted, throwing out her inhibitions. "Jane, please?"

"When?"

"What?"

"When do you want me to fuck you?"

"Jane, _NOW!_ " Maura wrapped her right leg around Jane, making her vagina very accessible.

Jane chuckled, sliding her fingers inside. "And how do you want me to do it?" she asked, her voice barely audible. She moved her fingers in and out with agonizing slowness.

"Faster," Maura whispered. "Harder."

Jane sped up her fingers just a little, thrusting a little deeper. "Like this?"

" _Harder_."

Jane thrust deeper, harder. "Like that?"

" _Harder!_ "

Suddenly Jane lifted her, balancing her up against the wall. Maura wrapped both legs around her, arms tightly gripping the detective's neck. Jane began thrusting, hard and fast and deep, just the way Maura wanted it. The blonde moaned, closing her eyes and feeling grateful for the protection of Jane's jacket.

"You like this?" Jane panted.

"Yes," Maura whispered.

"What was that?"

"Yes," Maura whimpered. "Yes Jane, yes, don't stop, _don't stop_ , I—" She suddenly lost her ability to speak as she felt herself cresting, her body wrapped tightly around the sexiest human being she had ever known. She cried her ecstasy out to the world, not caring who knew she was having sex with Jane Rizzoli against the back of a building. All those women had sent her messages on that dating site in just one night, all of them impressed by how sexy she was, but only Maura got to have her.

"I need to get you naked," Maura breathed as Jane set her back on her feet.

"Back here?" Jane said nervously, glancing around the alley.

"In my car. Come on." Maura led her to her nearby Mercedes.

"But it's a two-door. Is there enough room?"

"Of course there is." Maura opened the driver's door and moved the seat forwards, showing Jane that the back was surprisingly roomy. "Get in."

"Okay." Jane obediently climbed into the backseat, and Maura followed, closing and locking the door behind her.

"You are so sexy. I was watching you all night," Maura whispered, quickly disposing of Jane's tank top and bra.

"Whoa, slow down, partner," said Jane. "If you get to see my boobs, I get to see yours." She grabbed at the laces on the back of Maura's top. "How do you get this thing off?"

"Just unlace it," Maura directed, trying to get Jane's pants off while Jane fumbled with the laces in the dark. Finally Jane got the laces loose enough to pull her top down so that her breasts popped out.

"Aha!" Jane cried. "I have liberated the tits!"

Maura tossed Jane's pants aside and began kissing her rock-solid abs while her fingers explored lower. "Mm, you're so wet already."

"Of course I am, I just had the hottest woman alive writhing all over me. Do you have any idea what fucking you is like? It's mind-blowing!"

"It can't be any more amazing than this," Maura said, finally slipping inside her girlfriend. She slipped her other arm under Jane's back, holding her close while she worked her, coaxing her easily to orgasm. She watched in the semi-darkness as Jane arched her back, letting loose a string of expletives that made her ecstasy known.

Afterward Maura curled onto the set with Jane, resting her face against Jane's neck and enjoying the feel of long arms around her. "I love you so much," she said softly.

"I love you too, beautiful lady."

"I've had very good sex before, but somehow, it's better with you. It's the best sex I've ever had."

"Right back at you."

"Really? What we just did, you've done with countless women."

Jane chuckled. "Well first of all, none of them were as hot as you. And secondly, I wasn't head over heels in love with any of them." She gave Maura a squeeze and kissed her on the head. "It makes a big difference, you know? Being in love. It sounds like such a cliché, but I really do love you more every single day."

"I know exactly what you mean," said Maura, unable to wipe the contented smile from her face. "I feel like meeting you is the best thing that ever happened to me. I've never connected like this with anyone. I've been in love before, but not like this. I feel like being with you allows me to have more fun, to be the person I've always wanted to be."

"Yeah, I get that. You bring out the best in me too. I like who I am with you."

Suddenly there was a bang on the outside of the car and they heard two female voices. Maura lifted her head to see two real waitresses from Merch up against the car, one reaching up the other's skirt.

"I guess we're not the only ones getting lucky tonight," whispered Jane, stifling a laugh.

"Up against my _car_? Why can't they do it against the wall like we did?"

"Maybe nice cars turn them on."

"Well if they knew people were in here…"

"Here, let's get ourselves decent again," said Jane, blindly sorting through the discarded clothing on the floor of the car. "I think it's time to head home."

"How, with people having sex against my car?"

"When you start the car, that should scare them away." Jane snickered.

Maura climbed awkwardly into the driver's seat and fished her keys out of her purse. Jane finished getting dressed and then wriggled between the seats herself, getting into the passenger seat. There was moaning outside the car as things began to get hot and heavy with their waitress couple.

"If I start the car, it's going to scare them out of their wits," Maura said.

"I know, it'll be great!"

"It just seems mean."

"Well, the alternative is for us to sit here until they're done fucking against your car. Your decision."

Maura heaved a sigh. "Fine, but only because I really want to get home." She turned her keys in the ignition, and as the engine roared to life, they heard two screams outside as the waitresses jumped back. Jane began laughing uncontrollably.

"You are mean," Maura said, making sure the waitresses were out of the way before backing up and then heading out of the alley.

"Yeah, but you love me anyway," said Jane, still laughing.

"I do. I can't seem to help it."

"Well, you have to admit," Jane said as Maura headed for her apartment, "we have a lot of adventures."

Maura couldn't help smiling. "That we do."


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Episodes 1.8: I'm Your Boogie Man and 1.9: The Beast in Me

As the weeks passed, Jane only fell deeper in love. Maura closed on the house in Beacon Hill and immediately got the contractors to work with the remodeling, planning to have the house move-in ready by fall. Often they would stop by after work to check the progress and to watch the interior taking shape. Jane pretended all she cared about was her home gym in the basement, but the truth was, she cared about all of it. She was looking forward to living here with Maura, watching movies in their new living room, having drinks out on the patio, taking baths together in the new marble tub in the master bath. She was even thinking about those other rooms, the ones upstairs. The ones where their future children might sleep and play. For the first time in her life, that was something she was thinking about.

And apparently, she would do anything for Maura. She even ran a marathon with her, in spite of the fact she'd always hated running. Even when she got the perfect excuse to ditch the marathon – namely, two murders that she had to investigate – she still went back later and finished the course with Maura in the dark. And she enjoyed it, just like she enjoyed every second she spent with that quirky little blonde who got so excited about such weird things, adorably excited. Jane wanted to spend the rest of her life finding new ways to put a smile on that beautiful face.

There was just one thing that was really putting a damper on her spirits: she still hadn't told her own father about her relationship, even though she was sure she'd found her soul mate and was currently making plans to move in with her in a few months. She knew she had to do it, but she was terrified of his reaction. She knew she was being ridiculous. Her dad has always favored her, she supposed because he came from an era when fathers expected their sons to make them proud but didn't really expect anything in particular from their daughters. He had always seemed a little disappointed in Frankie and Tommy, like they weren't quite living up to the high hopes they had for him, but Jane seemed to impress him with everything she did. She knew it was completely unfair, that she had never deserved to be treated better than her brothers, and yet it terrified her to think that this one thing would make her finally find out what it was like to be the object of her father's disappointment.

The thing that made her hesitate the most was that her mom hadn't told him either. Usually telling Angela Rizzoli something was a good way to make sure half of Boston knew it too. She couldn't keep a secret no matter how hard you worked to impress upon her that you didn't want your secret repeated to anyone. And yet, where Jane's sexuality was concerned, Angela really hadn't breathed a word to her husband. It wasn't because she was still in denial. Jane and Maura had enjoyed many meals with the older Rizzoli woman, and shopping trips too. Angela seemed to be growing very fond of Maura. She was thrilled about the house, particularly all the room it allowed for potential future grandchildren, and she kept hinting that maybe it was time to think about a wedding. She'd even given Jane some old piece of family jewelry that she thought could be turned into a nice engagement ring. The only reason Jane could think of for her not letting anything slip to Frank was that she too was afraid of his reaction.

Jane knew this couldn't go on much longer. Eventually she would have to disclose that she was moving in with Maura, and she didn't plan on lying about the reasons. Maura didn't deserve to be kept a secret. Maura was very understanding and supportive, but she didn't handle dishonesty well, and the whole thing made her nervous. Once Jane brought her to Sunday dinner, thinking her girlfriend would love it, but Maura broke out into hives the first time Frank called her "Jane's friend" and she didn't correct him. She said she wanted to come back, but didn't think she should until their relationship was out in the open.

Them there were two major events that made Jane realize how much Maura deserved to be brought into the Rizzoli family fold once and for all.

The first was when Hoyt once again found a way to get at her from behind bars. When she showed Maura the flare she'd found in front of her apartment building, the ME insisted on calling Frost and then waiting up to guard Jane, after making Jane show her how to fire a gun. Jane was highly amused by the blonde's insistence that she could just learn on the spot how to use a gun, as well as her apparent belief that she would have no qualms about shooting someone who threatened her girlfriend. Jane couldn't see Maura shooting at anyone, but she let her have the gun because she doubted anyone would show up anyway.

She was still awake when Frost arrived, but she was too tired to go out to greet him, and Maura would probably send her right back to bed anyway. She listened for a while to the sound of her girlfriend and partner talking in hushed, concerned voices, but she couldn't make out anything they were saying. Then Maura crept as quietly as she could into the bedroom, eased the door shut behind her, and got into bed, fully clothed.

"Hey," Jane whispered. "Did you fight off any bad guys?"

"Still can't sleep?" Maura snuggled up to Jane and slipped her arms around her.

"No, but maybe I will now that you're here." Jane hugged her tight and inhaled her scent. "I really love you."

"I really love you too." Maura kissed her.

"It scares me more now, to have Hoyt find a way to get to me, now that you're in my life."

"I know, Jane, but I think we're safer together. It's safer for both of us."

"I'm not sure about that. He usually targets couples. I think they've always been straight couples, but I doubt he has a problem with taking out a lesbian couple."

"Well he's not getting out of prison this time, and I'm not scared of him."

"Maura, don't say that. You know what he's like."

"I know, but he wants us to be afraid, and I'm not giving in." She kissed Jane again. "I'm not afraid of anything as long as I have you."

Jane eventually drifted off to sleep with Maura in her arms. It felt like she'd only been out for a few minutes when she was awakened by the sound of Korsak and Frost yelling at each other in her living room. Then she heard something she never expected to her: her sweet, soft-spoken Maura screaming at two cops to shut up, and then chewing them out for not showing proper concern for Jane's well-being, and…something about penis size? She must have heard that wrong. Then she thought she heard Maura telling them to shake hands. _Damn_ , Jane couldn't help thinking. _She's going to make a good mother_.

Maura continued to surprise her that day, as she was unwilling to leave Jane long enough to go home and get clean clothes, so she went to work wearing the same dress she'd had on the previous day, which was now wrinkled from being slept in. She also stuck as close to Jane as she possibly could, which was pretty sweet. It also made Jane feel better. There was no indication so far that Maura was a target, and no reason to believe that Hoyt even knew they were a couple, but that could change at any time.

They were both sitting at Jane's desk in the squad room when Agent Dean showed up. Jane had hardly thought about him since she last saw him five months earlier, but she supposed she should have known to expect him on a case involving Hoyt. She figured since he hadn't called in five months that he'd forgotten all about asking her to dinner and probably had a girlfriend back in Quantico, so she was a bit floored when he told her he had come to Boston just to check on her and asked if he could buy her coffee. She looked at Maura, who made a funny face but then nodded at Jane to go.

 _Fine_ , she thought. _It'll probably be less embarrassing for him if he doesn't find out in the middle of the squad room._

They went down to the Division One Café, but Jane insisted on paying for her own coffee. She sat down with Dean, trying to keep the conversation focused on the case in the hopes he really could help with it, but he kept steering the conversation back towards her and whether she was okay.

"Look," she said with a sigh. "It was nice of you to come check on me, but I don't need you to."

"I know, you can take care of yourself, but—"

"It's not that. It's just…I'm already taken care of. I have Maura."

"Maura Isles, the ME?"

"Yes, you saw her. She's been sticking by me like glue ever since she found out this was related to Hoyt. Last night she was at my apartment, and she made me show her how to use my gun so she could protect me while I slept." Jane smiled at the memory. "She's never fired a gun before, of course, but she promised me she's a fast learner."

"You can't possibly have felt confident that she could protect you after one little lesson."

Jane shrugged. "I dunno, she _is_ a pretty fast learner. The first time we slept together, she told me she'd never had sex with a woman before, but _damn_ did she learn fast."

He stared at her, blinking. "Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't realize."

"It's okay. You couldn't have known."

He looked down at his coffee awkwardly. "I guess there's no point in asking you to dinner then."

"Yeah, it's pretty serious."

"Well, I'd still like to help with the case, if you'll have me."

"We will take all the help we can get. I've got an autopsy date with my girlfriend this afternoon. You're welcome to come too, although it might make it a little less romantic for us."

"Sure, I'll come. I don't mind being the third wheel on occasion."

And so he did come, and he really did help on the case, even knowing there wasn't anything in it for him.

Maura continued to surprise her. She insisted that Jane shouldn't talk to Hoyt, since it was what he wanted, and instead she went to talk to him herself, which was definitely going above and beyond her duties as medical examiner. Jane didn't like the idea at all, but Maura was headstrong, and Dean promised to go with her and make sure nothing happened. Later Jane watched a video of the interview, and she was surprised by how badass Maura seemed. She wasn't adorably pretending to be badass like last night with Jane's gun. This time, she was the real deal. Jane was impressed, and if she hadn't been so terrified of Hoyt, she would have been turned on.

One thing she did learn from the interview was that Hoyt didn't seem to realize Maura was involved with Jane, because he told her he wasn't going to kill her, which she was certain he would want to do if he knew. He did find a way to get under Maura's skin, though, by telling her she was like him. Jane wouldn't have thought Maura would believe that, as there had never been two people in history who were more different than Maura and Hoyt, but apparently the ME thought they had some similarities. Hoyt had been neglected as a child and had taken to torturing small animals, while Maura had also been neglected as a child and had taken to dissecting frogs. Jane pointed out that there was a pretty clear difference between those things.

"And there's another thing I have in common with him," Maura sniffled as they sat alone in the BRIC, Jane holding her hands.

"Maura, the people you cut up are already dead, and it's not your fault they're dead, so it's not even remotely similar."

"That wasn't what I was going to say."

"What, then? What could you possibly have in common with the monster who haunts my nightmares?"

"We both think about you all the time."

Jane couldn't help chuckling. "Are you thinking about ways to murder me?"

Maura shook her head. "Mostly I'm thinking about having sex with you."

Jane laughed. "Well, I don't mind you thinking about that. _Especially_ if you're going to act on your thoughts."

Maura squeezed Jane's hands. "I couldn't handle it if he hurt you again."

"He won't. Not with my badass girlfriend here to protect me."

Maura chuckled through her tears.

As it turned out, Jane should have been more worried about Frankie than Maura, as his new girlfriend turned out to be the newest person doing Hoyt's bidding, but they both managed to get out of the situation without serious injuries. One thing Jane learned from the whole thing was that Maura would do _anything_ for her, even risking her own safety. Which meant Jane should be willing to take a risk of her own so that Maura wouldn't have to be a secret anymore.

There was another life-threatening situation not long after that put her over the edge, and this time the threat was for Maura, not Jane.

It started with Maura finding out the man she had just autopsied was her biological half-brother. She'd never known a biological relative in her life, so it came as a bit of a shock to her to learn that she'd had a brother, a brother who was both an artistic genius and a criminal, and that he had been murdered. Jane knew it had to be a very emotional experience for Maura, and she did her best to support her through it. But then they found out who Maura's biological father was.

Paddy Doyle. It was a name anyone who worked in Boston law enforcement knew well. Jane hadn't been alive for the Irish Mob Wars, but everyone knew the mob still existed in Boston, that smaller battles were still taking place. And everyone knew Paddy Doyle Junior was one of the most powerful men in Boston's Irish mob, having taken over for his own father after his arrest in the early eighties. Paddy, like many other mob leaders, had proven impossible to catch so far, even with the FBI trying to track him down. Jane had heard plenty about him, but she'd never imagined that he might have been the one to father Maura. And now Maura was having another emotional crisis as she tried to figure out what it meant to be the daughter of a killer, and Jane couldn't seem to get her to focus on the real problem: that if Paddy's enemies found out she was his daughter, they would kill her, just as they'd killed her brother. Jane didn't want to leave her side, just as Maura hadn't wanted to leave hers when Hoyt was threatening, but Korsak convinced her the best way to keep Maura safe was to solve the case.

So she left Maura alone in the morgue, and when she came back, she was gone.

There was no point wondering if Maura had left on her own. She wouldn't do that, and anyway, her cell phone was sitting out, the doors to the loading dock left open, the morgue van missing. Someone had taken her, transporting her in the same van that carried dead bodies.

Jane was sick to her stomach. She honestly hadn't felt _this_ bad even when Hoyt was after her. The thought of her sweet, innocent Maura in the clutches of some mob boss who had no problem torturing and killing people was unbearable. The best she could hope for was that they had taken Maura to use as bait to get Paddy and not to kill her outright. Hopefully they knew that Maura had only just discovered her lineage and would know nothing herself of Paddy's activities.

But Paddy had so many enemies, they didn't even know where to start to track her down. Jane was goings nuts, pacing the squad room, snapping at anyone who crossed her path. She had no interest in negotiating, in following protocol. All she wanted was the woman she loved back, safe and sound, and she would do anything, _anything_ , to bring her back.

So when her cell phone rang with an unfamiliar number, her first thought was that Maura's captors were calling her, that they'd gotten Maura to tell them who her girlfriend was and wanted her to give them Paddy. She damn well would give them Paddy, if she could figure out how. She'd hand him over on a silver platter if they would just give her Maura back. She answered the phone immediately.

"Whatever you want, I can get it," she said, fourteen years of police training going straight out the window.

"Jane!" said a frightened voice at the other end.

"Maura?" Jane answered in shock.

"Jane, Paddy's men took me, they grabbed me from the morgue!"

"Are you okay?"

"Yes, they didn't hurt me, Paddy just wanted to talk to me. He let me go, but I wouldn't let his men drive me, so I'm walking. I'm…I'm on Medford Street. Are you at home?"

"No. Can you get to my apartment?"

"Yes, I think I'm only a few blocks away. I'm walking towards it."

"I'll be right there." Jane hung up the phone and raced home as quickly as she could, both surprised and relieved that Maura was unharmed.

When she got home, she found Maura already in the apartment. She couldn't resist pulling the blonde into a tight embrace and kissing her repeatedly. "I'm so glad you're okay," she murmured. "I thought one of the bad guys got you."

"And you don't think Paddy is one of the bad guys?"

"Well, not one of the bad guys who want to hurt you." Jane pulled back to look at her girlfriend. She looked just as she had when she'd last seen her. "You sure you're okay?"

"Well, physically," said Maura with a half-smile. "I'm hungry though."

"All I have is cereal, but maybe I can order something."

"Cereal sounds good."

"Really?" asked Jane incredulously, heading for the kitchen. "The first time I gave you cereal, you looked at me like I was pouring Skittles in a bowl and telling you it was a nutritious breakfast."

Maura smiled tiredly, sitting down at the counter. "I've come to associate cereal with mornings waking up in your bed."

Jane couldn't help smiling. She poured the cereal and milk while Maura told her about her experience with Paddy.

"Are you sure you still want to be with me, now that you know who I am?" Maura asked.

"I already knew you who were. You are the smartest, funniest, kindest, weirdest, most amazing human being I have ever met."

"And also a mob daughter."

"Well, I just think of that as another one of your quirks. Adds to your charm."

"It also puts me in danger, which puts you in danger by association."

"Then we're even, because Hoyt's already proven himself to be a danger even from behind bars, and I'm his favorite target, which makes you a target too. Sooner or later he'll find out we're together, and then he'll want to murder you in front of me." She heaved a sigh. "Which I actually don't think is the Irish mob's style. Their beef is with Paddy, not you. They'll come after you to get at Paddy, but I don't think he'll be too broken up if something happens to me. I'm probably safe."

"I hope so," said Maura softly, squeezing Jane's hand.

Just then, Frankie showed up going on about some plumbing emergency their dad was having, and Maura said she'd love to go help, that she wanted to take her mind off the situation. So off they went, and that was when it really hit Jane: Maura needed the Rizzoli family. She needed to be part of this family, because she didn't have her own. Well, she did, but only her adoptive parents, and they had never spent enough time with her even when she was a child. Now that she was an adult, she was lucky to get the occasional phone call. It was no wonder she had wanted to meet her biological family, but it was pretty obvious they were even worse. Paddy was never going to be a doting dad, and she might never find her bio mom, but they already knew she was the kind of person who would have a relationship with Paddy Doyle. Maura just wanted to be part of an ordinary, loving, obnoxious family, and the Rizzolis were certainly that. But she wasn't going to be a part of the family until Jane told the truth.

She waited until Sunday dinner, which she hoped would be her last Sunday dinner without Maura. By then the case had wrapped up, and Paddy had taken out the man who killed Colin, sending a clear message to anyone who might try to go after Maura. While her mom was cooking, Jane went to the living room and sat down next to her father, who was watching TV.

"Hey, Pop," she said.

"Hey, sweetie."

"So, there's something I gotta talk to you about."

"Yeah?"

She took a deep breath. "I wanna start bringing Maura to Sunday dinner every week."

"Why would you want to do that? She's not family."

"Well, she doesn't have any family around here. I think she'd enjoy becoming part of our family."

"Well I don't care if you bring her sometimes, but maybe not every week. Although your mother is the one you should really be asking."

"But Daddy, what if she _were_ to become part of the family?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean…" She chewed her lip. There was nothing to do but just say it. "Daddy, Maura's not just my friend. We're in a relationship, and I'm planning on moving in with her in a few months. I'm in love with her, and I'm hoping to spend the rest of my life with her."

"What are you talking about? She's a woman."

"I know, Pop, but…I like women, like that. I always have. I've just been afraid to tell you."

"What? No you haven't. You always had boyfriends."

"I know I did, Pop, because I was trying to be what you wanted…but my strongest feelings have always been for women, and my strongest feelings ever have been for _this_ woman. I love her more than anything, Pop, and I'm sure you'll love her too if you get to know her."

"She sure didn't look like a lesbian to me. Sounds like you girls are doing some sort of experimentation, like they say girls do at slumber parties."

A humorless laugh escaped. "Daddy, it's nothing like a slumber party, and we're way too old for experimentation. I really think she's my soul mate."

"Don't be ridiculous." He turned and yelled over his shoulder. "Angela! Get in here!"

"Daddy, she already knows," Jane said as her mother came running in from the kitchen.

"She can't know, she hasn't said anything to me."

"What's going on in here?" Angela demanded.

"Our daughter is trying to tell me she's suddenly turned into a lesbian," Frank informed her. "Says she's shacking up with that doctor friend of hers and wants to bring her to dinner."

"Oh, Frank, don't put it like that," said Angela. "Dr. Isles is a lovely person. They've been dating several months now, and Maura's bought this gorgeous mansion in Beacon Hill. They're renovating it to move into."

"You mean you knew about this? You were keeping it from me?" He stood up, and so did Jane.

"She told me in confidence. I wanted to leave it to her to tell you when she was ready. She probably waited so long because she was afraid you would be a jerk about it!"

"I'm not being a jerk, I just know my daughter is not some lesbian." He rounded on Jane. "And if that woman has convinced you that you are, then she's not welcome in my house, at Sunday dinner or any other time!"

"Frank, you're being ridiculous, she's a very nice person," Angela told him. "And Dear Abby says when people are gay that it's because they were born that way. It's not a phase. We have to accept Jane the way she is."

"I'm not accepting anything, because I know it's not the way she is!" Frank shouted.

"If Maura isn't welcome in this house, then I don't want to be here either," Jane said evenly. "I'm not interested in being anyplace where the love of my life isn't allowed to be."

"Janie, no, don't leave," Angela pleaded.

"We'll take you for brunch next weekend, Ma," Jane promised. She kissed her mom on the cheek and headed for the door without a second glance at her father.

Just before the door closed behind her, she heard her mother's voice saying, "You see what you did?"

It took a moment for Jane to be able to drive. She had to wipe the tears out of her eyes first. But finally, once she had composed herself, she started the car and headed for Maura's apartment.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Episode 1.10: When the Gun Goes Bang, Bang, Bang

Maura closed her eyes as if she could block out the events of the past few hours, but she could still see it: Jane's blood gushing through her fingers as she tried desperately to put pressure on the wound with her hands. Jane's eyes closing and not opening again. She had whispered Maura's name right before passing out from blood loss, but that was all. No meaningful words had passed between them. Maura had simply begged Jane to stay with her, and Jane had been too weak to respond.

She had been in surgery for hours now. Mr. and Mrs. Rizzoli had been in and out of the waiting room Maura now sat in, trying to get news on both Jane and Frankie. Angela would sit next to Maura and hold her hand when she was there, while Frank kept his distance. Half an hour ago someone had come to tell them Frankie was out of surgery and that they could come see him.

"Do you want to come too?" Angela had asked Maura. "You saved his life, you know."

Maura shook her head. "I'll stay and wait to hear about Jane."

"Call me as soon as you do." Angela had gone over to the desk and pointed Maura out to the women behind it. "That woman is my daughter Jane Rizzoli's partner. They're going to get married. When Jane comes out of surgery, she has to be allowed back to see her, you understand?"

The women assured her that the hospital's policy allowed romantic partners to visit patients, so the Rizzolis went to see their son, leaving Maura there alone.

She looked at her phone. Another message from Frost asking for updates. _None yet_ , she texted back.

 _We were able to get your tortoise out of the building. He's at the vet clinic now_ , he replied.

 _Thank you_ , she typed. It was hard to keep track of all the things she had to worry about on this horrible day. She hoped Bass would be okay. If she lost him and Jane, she would literally be alone. _Someone should go check on Jo Friday_ , she added as the thought suddenly occurred to her.

 _Korsak already picked her up_ , Frost replied. _He took her tortoise back to his place too, but you can get them if you need to._

She breathed a sigh of relief. Everything was taken care of, at least everything they could control for now. When Jane was awake, Maura could assure her that Jo and Cagney were just fine.

The hours stretched by. Eventually Angela came back, reporting that Frankie was doing well for the circumstances.

"Jane's still in surgery," Maura said softly.

Angela took her hand and squeezed it. "I would have lost two children today if it weren't for you."

Maura shook her head. "I was afraid to work on Frankie, I'd never done the procedure before, but Jane wouldn't take no for an answer. _She_ saved Frankie. If I hadn't waited so long…if I'd done something differently, maybe Jane wouldn't have shot herself. Maybe he wouldn't have taken her hostage, maybe he would have taken me instead…"

"You know he wouldn't have taken you. If he had, Jane would have fought him tooth and nail to get you back, and he knew it. He took her because she was the biggest threat. He felt safer with a gun to her head."

"Maybe I should have fought him to get her back."

"Maura, you're not a cop, no one expects you to do that sort of thing. You're a doctor. You did all you could by tending Frankie's wounds, and then Jane's. If you hadn't been there, Jane would have bled out."

It was true. Marino had suffered almost the exact same wound, and he had bled out on the sidewalk while Maura was applying pressure to Jane's wounds. She didn't give much thought to the fact that Marino was dying while she did her best to help Jane, and she could honestly say she still didn't care. He deserved to die for trying to hurt Jane.

"I know you really love her," Angela said quietly.

"She's everything to me," Maura whispered.

"She'll pull through. She's a fighter. She'll claw her way back to you."

"I hope so."

Angela studied her. "It's gonna be a beautiful wedding," she said sagely.

"We're not planning a wedding yet."

"You will. I can see it on both your faces, every time you're together. I see it on her face whenever she talks about you. I always felt like she took her dad's side about everything, but the minute he couldn't accept you…she's barely spoken to him since then."

"I'm sorry. I didn't want to come between Jane and her father."

"I never want you to apologize for putting such a big smile on Jane's face. You're the one who's going to give her the life she deserves. Frank's a stubborn old man, but he'll have to come around. He loves his daughter. One day he'll see how good you are for her."

"I hope so."

A middle-aged man walked into the room, looking for the family of Jane Rizzoli. Both women stood up.

"I'm her mother," Angela answered. "And this is her romantic partner."

"I'm Dr. Slucky, a trauma surgeon here at Mass General." He shook both their hands. "Jane is in recovery now. We were able to stop the bleeding and repair the damage from the bullet. She'll have a long road to recovery ahead of her, of course, but barring any complications, she should recover fully."

Maura didn't know the man, but she felt like hugging him for delivering the woman she loved from death's door. Grateful tears spilled from her eyes, and Angela wrapped her into a hug.

"So she's gonna be okay?" Angela asked.

"The next 24 hours will be critical, of course, but the surgery went well, and I've brought people back from worse."

He seemed a bit cocky, but Maura didn't care right then. If he made Jane better, he could be as cocky as he wanted about it.

"Can we see her?" she asked breathlessly.

"Not just yet, but I'll send somebody back to get you as soon as we move her to her room."

The two women sat back down, still holding onto each other.

"She's going to be okay," Angela repeated like a mantra.

"I just want her to be better so I can take her home," said Maura. "The house is supposed to be ready in October. We were going to hand out candy to trick-or-treaters."

"I'm sure she'll be ready to go home by then," said Angela. "Good thing she talked you into getting that elevator repaired!"

Maura smiled. "Yes, I guess with a four-story house, it is smart to make provisions for when someone is injured and can't walk up and down stairs."

"Five stories, if you count the basement."

Maura tried to swallow around the lump in her throat. "I'd just put in the order for the exercise equipment she wanted. We were doing the elliptical machines at the BPD gym early this morning, and she said she couldn't wait to just go down to our basement to work out." She laughed softly. "She complains that I look at the men with well-developed muscles when we're at the gym."

Angela chuckled. "I'm sure she doesn't like that. She wants you looking at her."

"I look at her more than anyone else. She knows she's the only one I want." Maura looked up. "She _does_ know, doesn't she?"

"Of course she does."

A long hour stretched by, and finally a tech came into the waiting room and led them to Jane's hospital room. As soon as Maura saw her girlfriend unconscious, with oxygen and monitors and IVs, she burst into tears. It was exactly what she had been expecting, and yet she wasn't the least bit prepared for it. She's never seen Jane so pale, so helpless. She went to the bedside and stroked Jane's hair, kissing her face. Angela went to the other side and took her daughter's hand.

"Oh Jane, sweet Jane, we're here," Maura told her tearfully. "We're right here, and you're going to be okay." She kissed her again. "I love you so much, Jane."

"And I love you too, baby," Angela said. "Your father loves you. We all love you."

"And Frankie's going to be okay," Maura said, realizing that would be Jane's primary concern. "He's here in the hospital, but he had the procedure he needed and he's going to be just fine. Korsak is taking care of Jo Friday and Cagney. Everything's under control, so all you need to do is rest and get better, and I'm going to be right here with you."

She studied Jane's face for a sign that she heard and understood, but saw nothing.

When visiting hours ended, Frank persuaded Angela to go home and get some rest, but Maura wouldn't budge. She sat in the dim hospital room, holding Jane's hand and kissing each of her fingers in turn. She longed to feel Jane's arms around her, to have Jane hold her close and promise everything would be okay.

"You're going to get all better," Maura promised. "You'll go back to work and catch more bad guys, and we'll move into our new house, and later on we'll get married, and go on a wonderful honeymoon, and then if you want to, we'll have a baby. Maybe even two babies. I never liked being an only child myself, so maybe we can have two, if that's okay with you. We'll raise them in our big new house, and we'll tell them stories about all the heroic things you've done. And one day we'll get old and retire and we'll sit around doing yoga together, and we'll remember the day you shot yourself and how scared I was, and we'll laugh because I didn't need to be scared. Everything turned out okay."

She thought she saw a smile tug at Jane's lips, but she wasn't sure.

Eventually, Maura got into the recliner and dozed off.

~R&I~

"You look like an angel," said a hoarse voice.

Maura's eyes flew open. The clock said 2:51 a.m., and Jane's eyes were open.

"Jane!" she said, getting up and rushing to the bedside.

"It's okay, you can sleep," Jane croaked.

"No, I want to talk to you." Maura took Jane's hand. "I was so scared, Jane. I was so afraid I would lose you. But the surgeon said he repaired the damage. He expects you to make a full recovery."

Jane grimaced. "What exactly happened?"

"You shot yourself. You shot Marino too, and he's dead. You almost died too."

With a sudden jump, Jane tried to push herself upright. "Frankie!"

Maura gently put her hands on Jane's shoulders to hold her down. "He's fine Jane, he's in a room just down the hall. He got the procedure he needed, and he's going to be just fine."

Jane breathed a sigh of relief. "I want to see him."

"When the doctor says it's okay, I'll borrow a wheelchair and take you to his room. Not right now. You both need rest."

Jane closed her eyes, making herself take slow, even breaths. Maura suspected it was painful. "How long will it take for me to get better?"

"Probably a few months, but I will be with you every step of the way. And at least our new house will have a working elevator!"

Jane smiled slightly. "I had a dream that we were living there, and we got married and had kids. We were really happy."

Maura blushed. So Jane _had_ heard her talking. "One day, all of that will happen. Right now we just need to get you better."

"When can I go home?"

"That depends on how your recovery goes, but it will be more than a week, so get comfortable! I need you to be a good patient."

Jane chuckled, then winced. "So we're gonna play doctor and patient, huh?"

"Maybe when you're better. Right now it isn't playing." She leaned over and captured Jane's lips in a long, slow kiss. "I missed you so much."

"How long have I been out?" Jane asked in alarm.

"Hours!"

Jane smiled. "That's all it takes for you to miss me that much?"

"Yes." Maura stroked Jane's hair. "I love you more than anything. I don't know what I would do if I lost you."

Jane reached up, lightly touching Maura's face. "You're not getting rid of me that easily."

"I certainly hope not." Maura took Jane's hand and kissed it.

"You saved my life, and Frankie's," Jane said softly. "I remember you putting pressure on my wound, before I passed out. I heard you telling me to hang on."

"I didn't save your life. All I did was keep you from dying before help got there."

"Maura, saving someone's life and keeping them from dying are the same thing."

"The person who really saved your life was your surgeon. He was able to repair the damage from the bullet. That's why you're going to walk out of here, not because of what I did. I might send him flowers."

Jane rolled her eyes. "He'll think you're hitting on him."

"He knows you're my girlfriend."

"So? He's a surgeon. They think they're God."

"I'll write in the card that I'm grateful for what he did to save the love of my life." She kissed Jane's hand again, holding it in both of her own. "You know you're the one I love. Everyone knows."

"I know. How could you not be in love with this hot bod?" She glanced down at herself, unable to see her wounds but knowing they were there.

"I'm all yours, for as long as you want me. Which I hope will be forever." Maura planted a kiss on Jane's forehead. "Now get some sleep. You'll heal faster if you get lots of rest."

"You need to rest too, pretty angel girl," Jane said, her words coming out slurred as she drifted off.

Maura smiled, relieved to have her Jane back.

~R&I~

As Maura understood it, BPD headquarters was now a wreck. The building had been closed temporarily for cleanup and repairs, and to beef up security. All officers still on duty were temporarily reassigned to other stations around Boston, and all bodies needing autopsies were being sent to nearby counties for now. Maura was glad for the time off. It meant she could be with Jane.

The first few days at the hospital were tense. Jane was pumped full of painkillers and drifted in and out of sleep, often confused when she was awake. Her parents went back and forth between her room and Frankie's, and they fought often, each somehow finding a way to blame the other for two of their kids going into a dangerous profession and the other one being in prison (Tommy was supposed to be released on the day Frankie and Jane were shot, but had gotten into a fight and had time added, so it was no wonder the Rizzolis were so stressed). To make matters worse, Frank was insistent that Maura shouldn't be there because she wasn't family, and he was furious with Angela for accepting her as such. It was her fault, he said, that Jane was living an aberrant lifestyle. Angela, meanwhile, was equally furious with him for failing to see that Maura was a blessing to the family and that Jane wasn't going to change.

The fighting frightened Maura, especially when it was about her. She tried to stay out of the way, but more importantly, she tried to shield Jane from it. She didn't want her getting stressed out. It might impede her healing. Frank himself had been cautioned not to distress his daughter in any way, so he avoided the subject of Maura as much as possible and just smiled and nodded whenever Jane brought her up.

It went without saying that Maura shouldn't be in the room when Frank came to see Jane. She took those opportunities to do other things, such as eating, going home to shower, and checking on Bass. It had turned out that he had picked up a parasite, which was why he wasn't eating the day of the shooting – which had probably saved Maura's life. The parasite was easily treatable, and soon Bass was his regular self again. One less thing to worry about.

As Jane's health started to improve, she became a more difficult patient. She was tired of lying around, she was tired of people fussing over her, and she wanted to do things for herself. Maura had to start getting tough to convince Jane not to push herself too hard.

"She actually listens to you," Frost observed on one of his visits.

"It's because her dopamine levels spike whenever she looks at me," Maura explained. Frost just laughed.

Jane was discharged after two weeks in the hospital, though she was still in too much pain to go up the stairs to her third-floor apartment, so she went home with Maura since her apartment was on the first floor. Maura had to go back to work around that time, but since Angela didn't have a job, she was able to check in on Jane during the day. She thought it was wonderful that Jane had a real doctor to take care of her.

When Jane was finally well enough to go back to her apartment, it wasn't for long. The renovations on their new house wrapped up in October, so Maura hired movers to take both her and Jane's things over. Jane was still supposed to be resting, so Maura got the movers to hang the plasma TV in the living room right away and put Jane in front of it while she got busy arranging things around the house.

"Well, I found a way to get out of packing and unpacking," Jane joked while Maura arranged things on the shelves that were on either side of the fireplace.

"Yes, you quite conveniently found a way to avoid having to help with the move at all," Maura said in amusement. "Although if you ask me, shooting yourself is going a bit far."

"What can I say, I just really hate moving."

"Well, hopefully you won't have to move again for a very long time." Maura finished unloading a box and then sat on the couch next to Jane, giving her a kiss. "I can't wait to go to sleep tonight in _our_ bed."

"That sounds amazing," agreed Jane. She stretched and dropped an arm around Maura's shoulders. "I've never even considered doing this with someone before."

"Me neither. I haven't lived with anyone since I moved out of my parents' house."

"Didn't you have a roommate in college?"

Maura shook her head. "I had a single dorm my freshman year, and after that I got my own apartment. No roommates, and I've never lived with anyone romantically either."

"Does it scare you?" Jane asked.

Maura smiled and shook her head. "Not at all. I love every second I spend with you, and I want to spend as much time with you as possible. Are _you_ scared?"

"Nah. How could I be scared of you?"

The mail slot creaked, and Maura jumped up excitedly. "Our first mail!" She hurried to the entry vestibule and came back with a stack of envelopes, most of which bore their old addresses with forwarding labels slapped on top. "You got something from BPD!"

"Do they want me back at work?"

"Well they can't have you back until your surgeon says so."

Jane made a face. "I hate that guy. He's so arrogant."

"He is a bit, but he saved your life, so he can be as arrogant as he wants."

"I had a dream you were dating him. I wanted to punch his face."

Maura giggled, reclaiming her seat beside Jane and handing over the letter. "You know you have nothing to worry about. He might have gotten a little flirtatious with me, but I made it clear that I am head over heels in love with you. If we were still just friends, that would be different."

"Then you _would_ date him?"

"I'm not saying that, but sometimes when a person is in love with someone they can't have, they end up getting involved with someone connected to that person. If I still didn't know you were a lesbian, for instance, I might feel so grateful to Dr. Slucky for saving your life that I would succumb to his advances, for a little while, since I would believe you were off-limits anyway. I'm sure it wouldn't take long for him to get on my nerves because he _is_ rather arrogant."

"Well I'm glad I seized my chance when I had it, because that thought of that dick with his mitts on you…" She trailed off with a shudder.

"Are you going to open that letter?"

Jane tore the envelope open and pulled out an embossed letter. "BPD wants to give me a medal for shooting myself."

"Jane, that's wonderful!" Maura pulled the letter from Jane's hands. "The ceremony is on Veteran's Day, because there are soldiers getting medals too. That means we have a month to prepare! I have to decide what to wear…"

"Why, are you getting a medal too?"

"I'm going to be your date, obviously! I can't wait to applaud you while you give your speech and tell everyone you're my girlfriend."

"I have to give a speech?" Jane groaned.

"Don't worry, you have a whole month to plan it. And this means you'll get to put on your uniform! I've always wanted to see you wear it. You look so nice in the old pictures."

"It's really not that comfortable."

"Who cares if you're comfortable? It's just for one evening. Then when we get home, I'll take it back off of you." She smiled at Jane, tilting her head and raising her eyebrows.

"Ugh, you can talk me into anything," Jane complained, slipping her arm back around Maura. "It's a _damn_ good thing you're so cute."


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

Episode 2.1: We Don't Need Another Hero

Jane slumped on the couch, eating a bowl of cereal and staring at the TV but not really focusing. Maura was upstairs getting ready for BPD's annual Salute to Heroes, but the more she thought about it, the more Jane was sure she did _not_ want to go. This was going to be a nightmare.

It had been three months now since the day Jane shot herself. She was almost recovered and was hoping to return to work soon, though her energy wasn't back yet, and she was still having some pain, especially when she moved in certain ways. Maura was worried about it and kept asking her horrible questions like whether she had had a bowel movement yet today. She had bugged the crap out of Dr. Slucky at Jane's last appointment, and they had butted heads so severely that Jane was forced to realize how ridiculous her nightmare about Maura dating Slucky was.

Maura had long since gone back to work full time, leaving Jane alone in a giant house all day, well alone with a dog and two tortoises. Maura insisted that stimulating Jane's mind would help her to heal faster, so she designed a program to keep Jane's mind busy while she rested, including a timetable for reading the entire works of Shakespeare and a computer program that was supposed to teach her Finnish. Jane couldn't figure out why Maura wanted her to learn Finnish, and she hadn't touched a volume of Shakespeare since high school, so she mostly just watched TV all day. Sometimes she ordered stuff from the Home Shopping Network, which Maura complained about, as if she didn't do plenty of her own stress shopping.

The thing really irking Jane, the thing that made her realize she couldn't accept that medal, was that she wasn't looking forward to going back to work. She was scared. She hated to admit that, because she had fought like hell to get back as soon as possible after Hoyt's attack. That was different, though. Hoyt was alive, in prison, and still obsessed with Jane. If she left her dream job because of him, he would find out about it, and he would be thrilled to know he had altered the entire trajectory of her life. She couldn't let that happen. This time…she still wanted to be a cop, she was pretty sure she did, but she couldn't shake the sense that she couldn't trust anyone anymore, that she and the people she loved were going to keep getting hurt. She didn't want to admit to anyone that she was feeling this way, least of all to Maura, who saw Jane as her personal superhero.

"Jane, get up here and put your uniform on, we're going to be late!" Maura called from upstairs. Jane turned up the TV and pretended not to hear her. Finally Maura came down, looking stunning in a black dress and holding Jane's uniform. "You look awful," she said.

"Thanks, I love you too," said Jane.

"Here, put this on. You're making everyone late."

"I'm not going," Jane grumbled, continuing to eat her cereal. "I don't want a medal for shooting myself. It's not heroic. Eight people still died."

"Five of them were bad guys. Now we can do this the easy way or the hard way." Maura set down the uniform and sat on the couch, pulling Jane's feet into her lap and massaging them. "You know, this ceremony isn't for you. It's for your parents, and the community. You are a heroic flesh and blood reminder of the thin blue line."

"Yeah, that's good," smiled Jane. "You almost had me."

"Fine." Maura pushed Jane's feet off her lap, patting them gently. You had to hand it to her: she was always gentle, even when bossing people around. She stood up, a determined look on her face. "The hard way," she said.

Jane looked up in amusement. She had to admit, she was kind of curious to see how this would go. Maura walked up to her purposefully and pulled the bowl of cereal out of her hands.

"Hey, I wasn't done with that!" Jane complained.

"There will be food at the ceremony." Maura unzipped Jane's hoodie and yanked it down her arms.

"Hey, ow, stop!"

"No. Your parents are coming to watch you get a medal. You're going to be there." Maura took the uniform top off the hanger and began unceremoniously stuffing Jane into it.

"Ow, Maura!"

"You're going to look wonderful." Maura buttoned up the shirt. "There, you look sexier already." She yanked Jane's pants off.

"Maura, stop! I can dress myself!"

"I know you _can_ , but you've proven yourself un _willing_!" She began pulling the uniform pants up Jane's legs.

"Here, I've got it!" Jane stood, fixing her pants and belt. "There, are you happy?"

"Not quite, we still have to do your hair." Maura took her hand and led her to the stairs.

"Do we have to take the stairs? We have an elevator," Jane whined.

"You need to start building up your strength." Maura led her up the stairs to the master bedroom – _their_ bedroom – and began dragging a comb through her hair.

"Okay, now you're _really_ hurting me!"

"It wouldn't hurt so much if you would just hold still! You haven't been very diligent about combing your hair lately."

"Well, I haven't been doing anything but sitting around the house."

"And when you take that attitude, it only makes your hair harder to comb when you _do_ have to. It's gotten longer…I think it'll look really pretty when you fix it right." She pushed Jane down onto her vanity seat and began working to get her hair into a bun.

"Is this what the rest of my life is going to be like?" asked Jane, looking at herself in the mirror.

"Only if you continue to be this stubborn about things that matter." Maura went into the enormous walk-in closet and studied Jane's designated corner. "These shoes will probably be best, although they could do with a shine." She came back out and dropped the shoes at Jane's feet. "Put them on, or do you need me to do that too?"

"I can manage." Jane put on the shoes. "There, I'm ready."

"Could you let me put just a little makeup on you? You're a little jaundiced, and you're going to be speaking in front of people."

Jane heaved a sigh. "Fine."

When Maura was finished making her up, she stood back and smiled proudly. "You look so gorgeous, Jane. Unbelievably sexy."

"Well I'm glad you think so." Jane took a better look at Maura, who really hadn't had a reason to get dressed up in the past three months. "You look beautiful," she told her softly.

Maura beamed. "Maybe when we get back home, we can spend some _quality_ time together. And by 'quality' time, I mean 'sex time.'"

"Yeah, I figured that out. You're right, we should."

"We haven't been doing it enough lately," Maura pointed out.

"I know. I'm just sore and don't feel like myself."

"Sex might actually help with the pain. It's good for you, physically and emotionally."

"Yeah, I'll give it a whirl."

"I'll make it worth your time. Now come on, we need to go!"

The ceremony wasn't so bad, although Jane had to get her medal right after a soldier named Abby Sherman who was just a bit more heroic than her. Still, when she took the podium, Maura beamed at her like she was the biggest hero she had ever seen, and that was what mattered the most.

What was odd, though, was that her father wasn't there. He had said he was coming. Their relationship had been uneasy ever since her coming out, but he had tried to be nice during her recovery. He still wouldn't have Maura in his house, though, and their last conversation had been an argument about Thanksgiving. He didn't want Maura to come, and Jane wouldn't come without her, and Angela didn't think they could have Thanksgiving without Jane, and they had never come to an agreement. All Jane knew was that she wasn't leaving her girlfriend alone on a holiday, and she wasn't taking her someplace where she would be uncomfortable either. The two of them could just pick up a catered meal and eat at home. She wondered if that argument had put her father off.

When the medals were done being awarded, Jane went to ask her mom what was going on, and ran into someone she hadn't seen since high school: Casey Jones, whom she had briefly dated her senior year.

"Jane," he said in his half-British, half-American accent.

"Casey," she said, hesitating before giving him an awkward hug. "What are you doing here?"

"You never come to the reunions. I wanted to see how you turned out."

"You came all the way from Afghanistan to see how I turned out?" Jane willed herself not to make a face. Was he still carrying a torch for her after all these years?

"They invited everyone on leave."

Jane looked for Maura and began beckoning to her. "Well, this is how I turned out. I'm a detective, and here's my girlfriend." Maura arrived, sipping champagne, and Jane slipped an arm around her. "This is Dr. Maura Isles, chief medical examiner of Massachusetts. We're living together in Beacon Hill now. Maura, this is Casey Jones. We dated in high school."

Maura sized him up, but did not offer her hand. "Jane hasn't mentioned you," she remarked.

"We didn't date for long," he said with an amused smile. He looked back at Jane. "So, she's your roommate?"

Was he being intentionally obtuse? "No, she's my girlfriend, as in, sleeping together. Excuse me, I need to speak to my mother." Grabbing Maura's hand, she pushed her way through the crowd to where her mother sat and asked why her father hadn't come. To her surprise, Angela began crying inconsolably and couldn't speak. She had Maura fetch a pen, and the elder Rizzoli woman wrote on a napkin, _We're getting a divorce_.

A divorce? How was that possible? They'd been married over 35 years. Sure they fought, but it had never crossed her mind they might get _divorced_.

"I don't understand," Jane said as Maura used her spit to clean her tie. "I knew they'd been fighting, but I didn't think it was that bad. I mean, two of their kids were shot, and their other kid is in jail; of _course_ they've been stressed."

"I'm so sorry, Jane," said Maura sympathetically.

"You don't think it's because of me, do you?" Jane asked. "They really didn't agree on my coming out. Maybe they split over that."

"Oh, Jane, I hope not. But even if they did, I hope you know it's not your fault."

"Well, I'm not giving _you_ up to keep _them_ together," Jane agreed, lightly squeezing Maura's arm. "I just wish I could have both. I thought my dad would come around."

They stayed for only a little while after that. Jane seized the chance to talk to Abby Sherman, who in her opinion was the real hero of the night, although a lot of people seemed eager to meet the cat that had gotten a medal for waking up its humans to alert them to their little boy's diabetic seizure. But then Casey reappeared, as he knew Abby from having served with her in Afghanistan, and he seemed keen to get details about Jane and Maura's relationship once Abby had moved on.

"How long have you two been together?" he asked with a frown.

"Nine months!" Maura said proudly, snuggling closer to Jane.

"Jane, I know we haven't seen each other since high school, but…" Casey shook his head. "Is this why you don't come to the reunions?"

"You have reunions?" Maura asked, looking at Jane with interest.

"Yeah, our school's weird, it has annual get-togethers," Jane told her. "And no, it's not why I don't come to reunions. I just don't like reunions."

"I'd love to go to one of your reunions," Maura said.

"Would you now?" Jane said, giving her girlfriend an exasperated look.

"I just thought you must not be Catholic anymore," said Casey.

"Why would you think that?"

Casey cleared his throat. "Never mind. You never were a girly girl, but I just didn't think of it like that."

" _Excuse_ me?"

Maura looked at Casey thoughtfully. "I get the impression you're not happy for Jane."

"I get that impression too," said Jane through gritted teeth.

"No, I am, I'm happy for you," Casey assured them, unconvincingly. "I'm just...surprised. But it explains a lot, really. All the boys thought you were scary."

"You know what?" said Jane. "There's a cat over there who saved a kid's life, I'm just gonna go shake its paw. Come on, Maura." She grabbed Maura's hand and pulled her through the crowd. "Where did you hang your coat?" She asked when they were well away from Casey.

"I thought we were going to see the cat!"

"We're not going to see the cat, I just wanted to get away from Casey! I'm ready to go home."

"Oh!" Maura looked delighted. "I can't wait to be alone with you in that uniform."

"Maura! I just found out my parents are getting divorced, and you're still trying to get me in bed?"

"Well _we're_ not the ones getting a divorce." Jane gave her a look, and Maura turned red. "Sorry. It's just, you could really use an immune system boost right now, and sex is very good for that." She put her hand on Jane's arm, gazing up at her seductively. The woman really couldn't help herself.

"Fine," sighed Jane. "Apparently you could use a boost too. Get your coat."

Shivering in anticipation, Maura hurried to the coat rack and pulled on her trench coat. The two women went out into the chilly night, bidding goodbye to Abby Sherman, who was also leaving.

Unfortunately, their sexy plans were not meant to be. Just as they were getting into Maura's car, Abby's car exploded, instantly killing her. Maura, afraid Jane would receive further injury, pulled her out of the car and far away from the blast, arms wrapped around her protectively until Cavanaugh came along insisting that he needed Maura and ordering Frankie to take Jane home. That was when Jane knew: as much as it frightened her, as hard as it was to imagine getting back in the game, she had to return to her job. There were always going to be victims like Abby she would want to help, and knowing Maura was on the job without her just drove it all home.

"Do you think our parents are getting divorced over me?" Jane asked Frankie after he insisted on walking her into her house. "They fought a lot over me being with Maura. Ma thought Dad was stuck in the Dark Ages, and he thought she was encouraging me to be deviant."

"Nah, I think it was coming for a while. They've been fighting over everything. And anyway, what could you do about it if it did have to do with you? If you love Maura, then you should be with her."

"Oh, I will be. No one's going to change that."

Frankie looked at her. "You think you're gonna marry her?"

Jane nodded. "Yeah. I think so."

"I'm happy for you. It's time one of us settled down with someone. At least that's what Ma says."

"I'm happy for me too. She's an amazing woman. Now get back to work. They need you, and I don't."

"Jane…"

"Go! You don't need to put me to bed. I'm gonna wait up for Maura."

~R&I~

When Maura finally got home, she was still interested in sex, but between the pain in her abdomen, the news of her parents' divorce, and seeing a really nice woman blown up, Jane was not in the mood. All she wanted was to hold her girlfriend tight and feel thankful that neither of them were injured in the explosion.

When Maura's alarm went off the following morning, Jane jumped right up and started getting dressed.

"What are you doing?" Maura asked her. "You're not cleared to work yet."

"I'm ready to go back. I want to help solve Abby's murder."

"You can't come back until your surgeon clears you."

"So call him and tell him to clear me!"

"He's not going to clear you just because I said so. Go and see him if you think you're ready."

"Just take me to your office. I haven't even seen it since you had all that remodeling done. I'll watch the autopsy."

"I do want you to see my new office," Maura admitted. "The decorator just finished. But I'm afraid you'll sneak upstairs and try to work."

"If you don't take me with you, I'll just go by myself."

Maura sighed. "Fine, you can come with me, as my visitor. That means you have to stay with me."

"Fine. I think you just want to stare at my hotness all day."

"I do, but that's not the reason why. I don't want you to hurt yourself."

So Jane trailed her girlfriend to work. It was her first time at BPD since the shooting, and she was surprised by how much tighter security was. Even though everyone knew who she was, Jane still had to get a visitor's badge before she could go downstairs with Maura.

The morgue _did_ look really different now. It was less morgue-like and more… _Maura_ -like. It was bright and cheery, and she'd clearly chosen the color palette from that _Soothing Paint Colors for the Home_ book she'd used when decorating their house.

The morgue wasn't the only thing that was different. Jane hadn't seen a dead body in months, and suddenly she felt anxious about it, especially the badly burned corpse of someone she had enjoyed talking to the night before. She found herself nervously fidgeting with her hair while they waited for the body to be delivered.

"That's a sign of sexual frustration," Maura noted. "I could help you with that, if you would let me."

"Or maybe my hair's just tangled!" Jane pulled her fingers out of her hair before Maura could start lecturing her about that too. "Look, you can un-frustrate me when we're done solving the case."

" _We_ are not solving anything because _you_ are not cleared to work yet," Maura pointed out. Jane rolled her eyes.

~R&I~

They didn't solve the case that day, but Jane let Maura relieve her sexual frustration that night anyway.

"Your color looks better this morning," Maura observed as they were lying in bed, still naked. "How is your pain?" Her hand slid down Jane's abs, onto her scars.

Jane took a deep breath and then winced in pain. "It's still there. I guess sex with you doesn't quite cure _everything_."

"Well it certainly hasn't hurt. You look better. Happier, too." Maura kissed her, hands roaming over Jane's skin.

"I guess I did need this." Jane pulled the blonde closer, enjoying the shape of her body in her arms.

And then they heard the front door open and close downstairs, followed by the sound of Angela Rizzoli's voice.

"Uh, what is my mom doing here?" Jane asked.

"I don't know," said Maura. "But that reminds me. I talked to her yesterday."

"Did you tell her she was welcome to come in the house whenever she feels like it?"

"No, but—" Maura stopped talking when she realized Angela was coming upstairs. "She's not coming in here, is she?"

Jane hastily grabbed the blanket and pulled it up over them both just as her mother barged into the room, ranting about Frank.

"Ma!" Jane yelled. "For once in your life, could you consider knocking?"

Angela stared open-mouthed at the two obviously naked women. "I didn't think about you two being…in a compromising position," she said.

"Why not? We're adults who live together, in a romantic relationship."

"I know, but you're both women, and…" Angela's shoulders slumped. "I guess I'm no better than your father. I've been picturing you two like best friends at a slumber party."

Jane sighed. "Well could you go back downstairs so we can get dressed?"

"Yeah, sure. Sorry, Dr. Isles."

"It's quite all right, Mrs. Rizzoli," said Maura with her usual sweet smile.

"It is _not_ all right," Jane muttered, climbing out of bed and grabbing a robe from the closet. It turned out to be one of Maura's fancy silk robes and it barely covered her, but it would do for now.

She went downstairs and found her mother in the kitchen. "I just love this gourmet kitchen," she remarked. "It looks like what the celebrity chefs use on TV."

"Yeah, Maura loves fancy cooking." Jane sat down at the counter, then jumped back up when she felt the coolness of the barstool under her bare buttocks. This robe was _not_ designed for a tall person.

"I know you two are adults in a relationship, but would it kill you to make things official? I know you can't have a Catholic wedding, but you can still get married, you're practically married as it is."

"Ma, it's none of your business. Besides, Maura believes couples should date for at least a year before planning a wedding. There's some study or something."

"Believe me, it doesn't guarantee happiness," said Angela.

"I'm sorry, Ma. Frankie told me you have to sell your house."

"The house I raised my children in," Angela lamented. "You were right to pick a rich woman. She won't leave you in debt up to your eyeballs, with the home you put decades of hard work into on the verge of foreclosure."

"You can stay here, Ma," Jane said, although the words pained her.

"Oh, I know. Dr. Isles told me yesterday I could move into the guest house."

Jane's eyes widened, as Maura had not mentioned this little detail, but then she was filled with gratitude that Maura had insisted on putting in a guest house. At least her mom would be in a separate building, with her own kitchenette.

"Okay, but if you stay there, you can _not_ come barging in on us in the bedroom," Jane insisted.

"I won't do it again, I promise."

Jane sighed wearily. One month. One month was all she'd gotten of living alone with Maura in this big, beautiful house. "I mean it," she said. "If you want to come see us, knock on the back door."

"What if my toilet backs up and I need to use yours and it's an emergency?"

Jane closed her eyes. "Fine. But you don't come upstairs unless you're invited. _Ever_."

"But what if—"

" _Ever_ ," Jane insisted.

Angela rolled her eyes. "Fine."

~R&I~

Jane might not have been cleared to go back to work yet, but she still solved the case, with Maura's help – and, begrudgingly, Casey's. She even grabbed a live grenade out of a soldier's hand, which was surprisingly exhilarating. Actually it was very exhilarating, because it proved something important: Jane had _not_ turned into a coward, and she _was_ ready to be a badass cop again. She finally felt like her old self, both mentally and physically. Somehow, grabbing that grenade seemed to make her pain all but disappear. Maura was convinced it was psychosomatic.

"I think disarming that soldier made you realize that you are the hero everyone has been saying you are," Maura said as they took the elevator down from the squad room at the end of the day. "Now your fears have been laid to rest, and you don't feel the pain anymore."

"Or maybe your sex cure just takes a while to kick in," Jane teased.

Maura giggled. "Regular sex would put you back in good health in no time."

"Yeah?" said Jane, waggling her eyebrows. "Maybe we should start working on that as soon as we get home."

Maura grinned. "As long as your mother isn't going to be there!"

"If she shows up, you're going to have a new body on your autopsy table. I'm just saying."


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

Episode 1.2: Living Proof

Maura didn't expect baby fever to hit when it did.

It happened shortly before Thanksgiving. Jane and Maura had the day off, and Maura decided to treat Jane to a day at the spa. Jane was in desperate need of stress relief. She had returned to work and was feeling good about herself in that respect, but her parents were still in the middle of a divorce, and her mother was in the process of moving out of the family home and into their guest house.

Unfortunately, the day at the spa turned out not to be relaxing at all. Maura couldn't get Jane to be quiet and relax in her clay bath, which apparently was not at all what she'd had in mind when Maura said they could go someplace to be naked together, and then a man had come running into the spa with a dead pregnant women in his arms. Because she had stopped breathing less than three minutes earlier, Maura knew it would be possible to save the baby, so she had done an emergency C-section. She had delivered a baby boy who was around 34 weeks gestation, and he wasn't breathing, but she successfully revived him with CPR, and then paramedics took him away.

There was no getting Jane back into the clay after that. They went to the station for a bit so Jane could do some research on the case, and then they went home to find their living room filled with toys.

"They're Jane's," Angela explained. "Janie, you need to look through them and decide what you want to keep and what you want me to sell in my garage sale."

"You can sell all of them, it's not like I'm going to play with them now," Jane said, wearily sinking onto the couch.

Maura, on the other hand, was quite interested in seeing the toys Little Jane had played with.

"This is a nice dollhouse," she remarked, peering into tiny rooms. "Did you play with it much?"

"Not really," said Jane. "I didn't really like playing with things that required me to sit still."

"I played with mine a lot. I liked to imagine how a big, happy family lived." Maura picked up the dollhouse and began walking towards the stairs.

"Where are you going with that?" Jane asked.

"I'm putting it in the attic."

"Do we need a dollhouse in the attic?"

"We might, for future children," Maura said reasonably.

"We're putting stuff away for future children now?"

"It's either that or it's going to get sold," Maura pointed out. "I'll just put it in a closet." And so she did.

The following morning, Jane took off with Frost to investigate the woman's murder. Maura, unbeknownst to Jane, went to the hospital to check on the motherless baby. All she did was look at him through the window of the NICU. She just felt sorry for him, since his mother was dead and his father, if there was one present, had not been identified. She hoped they would find family for him, of course, but if they didn't, there was a chance be might he up for adoption, just like Maura was once. And, if he was…well, there was probably no hope thinking about that. Jane probably wouldn't say yes.

But when Jane admitted during the autopsy that she was thinking about the baby and might go see him after work, Maura confessed that she already had gone to visit.

"Really?" Jane said with interest. "Are we getting…?"

"Cravings for pickles? No," Maura assured her.

On Saturday, Angela had her garage sale – at their house. Maura had wrongfully assumed she'd be having it at her own house, since it hadn't sold yet, but it turned out she thought she'd make more money with a sale in Beacon Hill. It was too late to tell her that garage sales really weren't all that popular in Beacon Hill.

A couple with a stroller came by and refused to pay Jane's asking price for a pair of bookends, which caused Jane to rant about how she was sure they could afford it because that stroller looked really expensive, at least $300 in her opinion, which apparently Jane thought was expensive for a stroller. Then Maura surprised her by telling her it was really $1,049.99.

"Have you been shopping for baby stuff?" Jane asked her, eyebrows raised.

"No," Maura promised. "I was online, buying a necklace, and the baby store was just a click away, so I…I was looking."

"Well, stop. We don't have a baby."

"Yet."

"We're not having one anytime soon." Jane looked at her carefully. "It's a big decision, okay? We're not doing it just because you got bitten by the baby fever bug. I did a lot of baby-sitting when I was younger. Babies are not accessories."

"I know that," said Maura, picking up a small painting that looked very amateur.

A while later, after Maura had somehow ended up paying Angela $500 for the amateur painting and Jane had run off to chase a lead, Maura helped Angela pack up all the stuff that hadn't sold to give to charity (it certainly wasn't going to stay in her house). Angela was complaining that taking care of babies was the only thing she was ever good at, and Maura realized she had the perfect way to cheer her up: she had already been planning on becoming a Kangaroo Volunteer at the hospital so she could help Baby John Doe get the skin-to-skin contact he needed in order to thrive. Why not take Angela along with her?

It worked beautifully. Angela absolutely loved holding the baby, and it put her in a great mood.

"Are you and Jane going to have babies?" she asked Maura.

"Maybe someday," Maura said. "We haven't really decided for sure."

"You want one, don't you?" Angela said with a smile. "I can tell by the way you look at this one."

Maura nodded reluctantly. "I do want one, but what I want most is to be with Jane. If Jane doesn't want a baby, then I will live without one, because I want her."

"She used to babysit a lot. She was really good with babies and kids."

"Was she?" Maura asked hopefully. She'd never really seen Jane around kids much.

"Oh yeah, she loves them, and they love her. I bet she'd have a baby with you."

A smile tugged at Maura's lips. "Well, that's a conversation I need to have with _her_. But…if we do have a baby someday…"

"Yes?"

"Would you be interested in taking care of it while we work?"

Angela lit up. "I would _love_ to! Oh, I love babies so much. Ever since my own kids grew up, I've been waiting for them to give me grandkids so I have someone to take care of, but they're all in their thirties and still nothing! Jane's my best bet, because at least she has you."

"Well, I can't make any guarantees about Jane," Maura said. "But if we do have children, I'd love for you to babysit. I went through a lot of nannies when I was growing up, and I'd rather my own children be cared for by family only."

"I'll be there whenever you need me."

"It's too soon to decide anything for sure," Maura pointed out. "We'd have to get married first. That would guarantee that we would both have legal rights to our baby right from the beginning. But I don't want to get engaged too soon. Studies show that people who date one to two years before getting engaged are much less likely to divorce than people who date less than a year."

"When will it be a year?" Angela asked shrewdly.

"February."

"That's not too long from now. Do you want to marry her?"

Maura looked down. "Now that I have her, I can't imagine ever living without her," she admitted.

"I think she wants to marry you. I tried to get her to take my grandmother's old earrings because I thought they could be turned into an engagement ring, but she didn't think it would be good enough for you. She thinks you have to have some ten thousand dollar ring. I told her all you need is her, but she feels pressure to do it just right. She knows you've dated gazillionaires in the past."

"Maybe _I_ should propose to _her_ ," Maura said softly. "That would take the pressure off."

Angela's eyes widened. "Oh, that would be lovely! You could get her a nice ring!"

"But what kind of ring would she like? She's not a big fan of jewelry."

"I'd just go with something simple, something that won't get in her way. But still pretty!"

"I'll have to do some research," Maura said thoughtfully.

Just then, Jane called to say she'd found the baby's biological parents. Maura was happy to hear it. Although she was going to miss coming and holding baby John Doe, she knew he was never going to be her baby, and he needed real parents. But they couldn't assume full custody until a court gave it to them, so Maura continued her work as a Kangaroo Volunteer.

Because of this, she was in the NICU holding the baby when Jane found the killer. Unfortunately, the killer was also in the NICU, trying to take the baby. There was one blessed moment before they realized that when Maura handed John Doe, or James Jr. as he would now be called, over to Jane and got to see her girlfriend holding a baby for the first time. The second she saw it, she knew. She _had_ to have a baby with Jane. She would have to convince her somehow.

The day after Thanksgiving, she took Jane back to the spa so they could try again with the clay baths. Maura was in a good mood, having just had the best Thanksgiving of her life. They held it at their house, and Angela and Frankie were there. It was a small group, but the home-cooked food was delicious, and the fun, laid-back atmosphere was like nothing Maura had ever experienced at a holiday before. Although she was sad about the divorce, in a way it had made things better for her, and maybe for Jane too, since she had been unwilling to spend Thanksgiving with her father anyway. No one even knew where he was.

"Jane," Maura said, feeling nice and relaxed in the warm clay, "I know it's too soon now, but if we get married, will you want to have a baby with me?"

Jane opened her eyes. "Yeah, maybe, if you still want one."

"I think I will. I really enjoyed the time I spent with James Junior, but my favorite part is when I saw you hold him, and we were there together, the three of us. It made me think about what it would feel like to have a family of our own." She looked over at Jane. "You're the first person I've ever wanted that with."

"You're sure it's not just some craze, that your ovaries just lost control when you held that baby?"

Maura shook her head. "I've held babies before. It never made me feel like this. The difference is, now I have you."

Jane smiled a little. "The line of work I'm in, it's hard on families. I've seen families fall apart, and it's…it's not pretty."

"I'm in it with you," Maura promised. "And we have your mom to help out."

"Oh, she'd love that more than anything." She threw her head back and looked up at the pergola. "But if we have kids, it's going to feel different when someone points a gun at me."

"Doesn't it already?"

Jane looked at her. "Yeah. Yeah, I guess it does. I know you want me back in one piece. I can't stand the thought of leaving you alone."

"But I also love what you do."

"You're amazing like that. But what if _I_ can't handle it anymore?"

"Then you'll have to make a decision. I know you love your job, but if you ever stop loving it for any reason, you can always leave. You can find another line of work, be a stay-at-home mom, whatever makes you happy."

Jane started laughing. "Can you see me as a stay-at-home mom?"

Maura couldn't help laughing a little herself. "I can see you as whatever you want to be."

Jane looked into the distance for a minute. "I wasn't sure I'd ever do it, but I think I could with you."

"Really?"

"Yeah. If you still want a baby, when the time comes…I think we could do it. I think you'd make a great mom, I mean it was pretty hot the way you defended a baby that wasn't even yours. I think I'd like to see you with ours."

Maura broke into a grin. "Jane, I think it would be the most amazing experience." She felt like her heart was going to explode just thinking about the future, raising a family with Jane.

But first, they would have to get married, and there was only a little over two months left until they would have been dating for a full year. Their first anniversary would make a nice time to propose, Maura decided.

So the following morning, she went off to Newbury Street on her own to start looking at rings.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

Episodes 2.5: Don't Hate the Player and 2.6: Rebel Without a Pause

In late January, Jane finally got to meet Constance Isles.

A lot had happened in the few months since Jane and Maura had moved into their new house. Angela was now living in the guest house, though she was still fighting with Frank over who would get what. Unfortunately, she immediately started spending her time cleaning and rearranging the main house, so Frankie helped her get a job at the Division One Café to keep her busy. Jane knew she should thank him, but she wasn't overly thrilled about having her mother at work with her all day. And then, as if things weren't complicated enough, Tommy got out of prison and moved into the guest house with their mother. He and Angela had wrangled that one by asking Maura when Jane wasn't there, knowing full well that Maura was too nice to say no. Jane wanted to help her brother make a new start, she really did, but she wasn't sure she could trust him yet. He had a very troubled past, and she was afraid to give him access to Maura's expensive things, not to mention that she was pretty sure he was flirting with Maura (Maura was convinced he was just being nice, but she didn't know Tommy). But in the end, she caved and decided to give him a chance.

"When I moved in with you, I thought it was just going to be the two of us," Jane complained to Maura, who was looking oddly sexy in Jane's suit. "I didn't know my entire family was coming too."

"That's not true, Frankie still has his own apartment," Maura pointed out as Jane navigated the narrow streets of Beacon Hill. "And Tommy won't be here for long. It's just until he gets on his feet."

"Maura, he's been trying to get on his feet his whole life. It hasn't happened yet."

"I can tell he's trying really hard."

"He always _tries_ hard. That doesn't mean he gets anywhere." Jane sighed, pulling into the garage. "I just want to get out of this dress. It's like a straight jacket." A baseball player had invited Jane to dinner at some fancy French restaurant to talk about the case she was working on. Frost and Korsak said she should go and not mention her lesbianism because he might give her important information they wouldn't get otherwise. Maura apparently felt secure enough in the relationship not to mind some random guy flirting with her girlfriend, but couldn't stand to let Jane enter a five-star restaurant in her suit. Jane had to smile at the memory of Maura pulling her blazer off in her office, turning around, and saying, "Unzip me."

"Now?" Jane had asked, glancing around to see if anyone was lurking outside the office.

"Yes, we're switching clothes," Maura had said, much to Jane's relief/disappointment.

So now Jane was wearing Maura's too-tight dress, and Maura was being swallowed whole by Jane's suit.

"Well, your suit is a real booty call magnet," Maura joked now that they were back home. "I got hit on twice…by women!"

Jane frowned. "Really? How come I never get hit on when I wear that suit?"

"I'm sure you do, but for a detective, you're a little oblivious to some things," Maura said.

"I am not."

"Yes. You are. I bet you would never have figured out I was attracted to you if I hadn't said so."

"Mm, probably not," Jane admitted. "But not because I'm oblivious, I just never thought I'd score someone as hot as you."

"That's what I mean by oblivious! You could 'score' whomever you wanted, Jane. Everyone thinks you're hot. Men, women… _everyone_."

Jane frowned. She doubted that was true, but it didn't really matter anymore anyway. She was planning to marry this one.

Their first dating anniversary was coming up soon, and Jane already knew Maura was planning some big romantic evening to celebrate, so she figured, why not take advantage of that and pop the question over dessert? The only thing was, she didn't even know where to start with finding a ring. She knew Maura loved jewelry, and the jewelry she loved was ridiculously expensive. Jane had saved a lot of money by moving in with Maura, and she could probably get something on a payment plan, but she still didn't know how to pick out the right ring. Sure, Maura was the sort of person who appreciated the thought, and she seemed pleased with every gift Jane had given her even if it was beneath what she could afford to buy for herself, but this was a ring she would wear for the rest of her life. It couldn't be something she _liked_. It couldn't be something that was _good enough_. It needed to be something that would take her breath away, just like Maura herself did for Jane.

That was why Jane was kind of glad when she found out Constance was coming to Boston to do an art installation, even though she wasn't sure she was going to like her much. The way Maura panicked over trying to make the already-beautiful house absolutely perfect for her mom made Jane start to dislike the woman before she even met her. It was clear that Maura did not feel she was good enough for her mother, and anyone who could make the most perfect human being Jane had ever met feel not good enough was officially on Jane's bad list. But still, she needed to talk to Constance, because if the woman didn't freak out at the thought of someone as unsophisticated as Jane marrying her daughter, maybe she could help Jane figure out how to find the perfect ring.

But first, Constance herself had to learn how to fucking treat Maura right.

Jane was incensed. First of all, they all had to rearrange their lives so the guest house could be put to its original intended use for the first time. This meant that Angela had to move into the guest room on the third floor, and Tommy had to go sleep on Frankie's couch. Then Maura drove herself crazy trying to make the guest house look like a suite in some five-star hotel. Then, after all that, Constance didn't even look at the guest house. She had a suite at the Ritz, and she'd just forgotten to mention it. She also didn't touch the fancy dessert Maura had made for her, instead making a sudden exit after the dinner Maura had worked so hard on perfecting for her. Jane felt awful, mainly because she could tell Maura was devastated. She tried to make up for it by eating the fancy pear things Maura made and going on about how good they were, but it was no use. Maura wanted her mother's approval. How was Jane supposed to get that for her?

The following evening, Maura was supposed to go to a fancy dinner with her mom, but her mother called and canceled at the last minute. Maura insisted it wasn't her mother's fault, but Jane could see the pattern emerging: Constance let her daughter down over and over, and every time, Maura made excuses for her. It was heartbreaking.

The last straw was when Maura got all dressed up to go to the art installation, with Jane as her date of course, and they couldn't get in because Constance had forgotten to put her own daughter on the list. Jane badged her way in, and then she sent Maura to get drinks so she could have a little talk with Constance. And then she read Constance the riot act, informing her that she didn't like to see her girlfriend hurt. The woman ended up in tears, and Jane was worried she'd gone too far.

Her fears were put to rest when Constance arrived at the Dirty Robber the following evening, having switched flights so she could see her daughter one last time. She even put aside her uppity attitude for a while and indulged in a hamburger and milkshake. When she wasn't trying to impress everyone with her superiority, Jane decided, she actually wasn't that bad. In fact, she was kind of like Maura: sophisticated, intelligent, and a bit OCD. Also, not that good at understanding sarcasm. The only thing she lacked was Maura's sweetness. Jane still couldn't figure out where that came from. It didn't seem to be nature _or_ nurture. It was just…Maura.

When Constance excused herself to use the "ladies' room," Jane announced she had to go too, quickly telling Maura and Angela she would be right back so neither of them got any ideas about following her.

"I'm glad you came back to see Maura," Jane said as they washed their hands. "She really lit up when she saw you. And I think she enjoyed watching you drink a milkshake."

"I was probably a more fun person before Maura met me," Constance admitted. "I think I left that side of myself behind when I graduated university."

"Well, I think Maura deserves the best from all of us, don't you?"

"That was what I tried to give her, but perhaps I was mistaken about which part of me that was."

Jane nodded grimly, hesitating.

"Once again, I sense that there's something you want to say to me."

"Yeah." Jane drew in her breath. "I wanna ask Maura to marry me."

Constance studied her. "I suppose I'm not surprised. I can tell you really love her."

"I do. I know I'm probably not the kind of person you had in mind as a mate for your daughter, but…"

"Don't worry about that. My daughter is self-sufficient; whomever she chooses to spend her life with, she will have my full support. All I want is her happiness."

Jane nodded. "Well, that's all I want too. Only thing is…I'm having trouble picking out a ring."

Constance's eyes grew wide and her back straightened. "You don't have to."

"I don't?"

"No. I have a diamond ring that's been in the family for generations. Maura has always adored it, and I always told her I'd give it to her someday. It would make a perfect engagement ring."

"Wow, okay. You don't happen to have it on you, do you?"

"I believe it's at the estate in England. I'll have it sent to you immediately."

"Okay. Uh, could you mail it to me at the station, so Maura doesn't open it by mistake?"

"Oh, something like that is much too precious to entrust to the postal service. I'll send it to you via private courier."

"That's a thing?"

"Yes, and I can have it delivered to you at work. You'll have to sign for it."

"Yeah, no problem. Here, let me give you my number so you can tell me when it's on the way."

"Of course." Constance took out her phone and typed Jane's number in. "When do you plan to propose?"

"Well, on February eighteenth we'll have been together a whole year. She's taking me someplace fancy that night, so I thought it would be a good time to surprise her. We've talked about marriage, but she says couple should date at least a year before getting engaged."

"Studies do show the marriage is more likely to last if the couple dates one to two years before getting engaged," Constance agreed.

"Right. Well, that's the day our year's up, so I'm gonna go for it. I don't think anything's going to change in another year, other than my mom hitting the roof because we're not giving her grandkids fast enough."

"That's not why you want to marry her though, is it?"

"What, to make my mom happy? Nah, if I did whatever my mom wanted, I'd be a stay-at-home mom with a husband and three kids by now. I want to marry Maura because I love her to death. I just got lucky cause my mom loves her too."

Constance smiled. "I'll get the ring to you as quickly as I possibly can."

~R&I~

The ring was beautiful.

The courier brought it right to her desk at work, fortunately not when Maura was there. Jane slipped into the bathroom to check it out. She didn't want anyone else to know she was proposing. The antique ring Constance had sent had kind of a flower design, with a big round diamond in the middle, encircled by tiny cut sapphires that formed the shape of petals, then a circle of tiny diamonds and another circle of sapphires. It was the size of ring Maura usually wore, but much fancier. Constance had gotten it professionally cleaned, and it glittered beautifully. It was perfect for her. All Jane needed to do was get it engraved to add a personal touch.

When the night of their big anniversary date came around, Jane was ready. She wore a designer dress Maura had bought for her because she knew it would make Maura happy. She had to carry a handbag since the dress didn't have pockets, but she was able to tuck the ring safely inside there, next to her cell phone, which was turned _off_. No one was interrupting her tonight.

Maura had reserved them a corner table at the Top of the Hub restaurant in the Back Bay. They were right by the window, and since they were on the 52nd floor, they had a pretty expansive view of the glittering Boston skyline. There was a little jazz band playing across the room, and all the tables were full, which kept a dull murmur going in the background from people's conversations. Maura looked stunning in a tailored dress that fit her form perfectly and showed just enough cleavage to make Jane's mouth water. _She's never going to say yes, why would someone like her want to spend her life with me?_ said a voice in Jane's head, but she shushed it.

Maura, of course, would accept nothing less than a five-course meal for such a special occasion. Jane was saving her proposal for the dessert course. Something like that should wait until the end, she figured, when they would be able to go home directly afterwards and celebrate by tearing each other's dresses off. Unfortunately, she was so nervous about the impending proposal, she could hardly eat. Maura seemed oddly shy tonight as well. She kept making lame jokes and then looking worried when Jane didn't laugh. Jane was relieved when their slices of layered chocolate cake arrived. Now she could put them both out of their misery.

She was just reaching for her purse to retrieve the ring when the jazz band started playing a song Jane recognized: "The Biggest Part of Me," by Ambrosia. Jane was instantly transported back to the fall, to the day Maura unpacked both of their CD collections. They quickly discovered that they had wildly different tastes in music, and they spent the evening playing different CDs, trying to find something they both liked. Unfortunately, Jane found Maura's classical albums and Broadway hits a bit boring, and Maura thought Jane's favorite band, Led Zeppelin, just sounded like noise. It wasn't until Maura put on the Ambrosia CD that they found something they had in common: both had an appreciation for this underrated band. In particular, they both loved this song, and so it had become, unofficially, _their_ song.

"Did you have something to do with this?" Jane asked suspiciously.

Maura smiled slyly. "I might have requested it earlier."

"You really are the romantic." Jane took a sip from her champagne, drawing up her courage for what she was about to do.

"I have something for you," Maura said before Jane could speak.

"Oh, I didn't know we were doing presents. Good thing I just _happen_ to have something for you."

"Oh." Maura's cheeks were turning pink. "Well, you can go first if you'd like."

"No, you go first," said Jane. The engagement ring should _definitely_ come last.

"Okay." Maura reached into her bag and paused. "Jane, this past year has been the happiest year of my life, by far."

"Yeah, mine too."

"I never really expected to love someone as much as I love you, or to feel as loved as I feel with you. My whole life is better with you in it. Even when we're apart, I know you're out there, and that you're wonderful, and that you love me, so even those moments are better because of you. Everything is more amazing just knowing you exist and that you're mine."

Jane felt tears pricking her eyes. "I know. I feel the same way."

"I don't ever want to go a day without you, Jane. I want you by my side for the rest of my life." She pulled her hand out of her bag, and in it was a small box. The same size as the box Jane had in her own purse. She cracked it open to reveal a diamond ring inside. "Jane, would you do me the honor of marrying me?"

"Maura, I—" Jane couldn't help laughing. "I wasn't expecting _you_ to do this."

Maura looked defeated. "So you don't want to?"

"No, I do, I definitely do, but…I think you need to see what I got you." Jane pulled out the small wooden box and opened it, showing Maura the ring inside.

Maura gasped. "That's Great-Aunt Matilda's ring! How did you get it?"

"Your mom gave it to me after I told her I wanted to propose to you. I was getting ready to go down on one knee when you decided to pop the question yourself."

Maura looked at her, eyes wide, and then she burst out laughing. "Well, I asked you first!" she said. "What's your answer?"

"Yes," Jane chuckled. "I would marry you a thousand times over if I could." She held out her hand to receive her ring. Maura took it from the box and slipped it onto her finger. Jane carefully examined it. It was a fairly small, unobtrusive ring, but she could tell the diamond had some fancy cut because it was very sparkly. It was nestled in between two tiny rubies. "It's really pretty," she said.

"I wanted to give you something that was pretty but wouldn't get in your way," said Maura. "Oh, and I had it engraved!"

"Let me see." Jane slipped the ring off and examined the inside, turning it to read the small inscription. _For Jane-_ " _Vivo per lei"_ -M "What does that mean?" she asked. "Looks like Italian."

"It means, 'I live for her,'" said Maura softly. "I do, Jane."

"Aww, Maura." Jane put the ring back on and picked up the diamond and sapphire ring. "Well, now it's my turn. I have this gorgeous ring for you. So will you marry me?"

Maura smiled, a happy tear sliding down her cheek. "You know I will."

"I got you an inscription too, and that was without knowing what song you were going to have playing." Jane took the ring out and showed the inscription to Maura. It read, _To M, the biggest part of me. Love, J_.

"Oh, Jane, it's perfect!" said Maura, holding out her hand. Jane got up and slipped the ring onto her finger, her heart pounding as she realized her future was certain now. Here was the rest of her life, sitting in front of her with tears glistening in her beautiful hazel eyes. She took Maura's face in her hands, tilting her head back so that Maura was looking up at her, and then she pressed her lips to the blonde's, her fingers sliding through Maura's hair as they kissed.

"I think I'm ready to go home now," Maura murmured when they finally broke apart.

"Yeah, me too," Jane agreed. "I think we need some alone time."

Maura paid the bill and drove them home in her Mercedes. Jane rode in silence, her hand on Maura's knee, a sense of urgency rising inside her. She knew her mother would hear their car pulling into the garage, so they ran inside and upstairs as quickly as they could to avoid her popping out and asking if they had a nice time on their date. Maura was pulling Jane into their bedroom when a thought struck the detective.

"No, not here tonight," she said, tugging Maura towards the stairs going up to the third floor.

"What are you doing?" Maura asked with a laugh.

"One year ago, our relationship began," Jane said, "in _this_ bed." She tugged her into the third floor guest room, in which stood the same bed from the guest room in Maura's old apartment.

"You want to have sex here?"

"Yeah, why not? For old time's sake." Jane kissed her new fiancée. "We can make it a tradition. Every year, on the anniversary of our first time together, we have sex in the bed that brought us together."

"And in between, we let guests sleep in the bed," Maura giggled.

"Well, not on the same sheets," Jane said in exasperation. "Just…get over here." She pulled Maura into a kiss, her fingers easily finding the blonde's zipper and pulling it down. She let the dress fall around Maura's ankles and unhooked her bra, easily sliding it off. "A year ago today is when I saw these babies for the first time," she said fondly.

"They've gotten quite a lot of attention over the past year," Maura said with a proud smile, unzipping Jane's dress.

"They're going to have all the attention they could ever want for the rest of your life," Jane promised, bending to lick the breasts she held cupped in her hands.

"That's one of the best things about getting married," Maura said excitedly, quickly ridding Jane of her underthings. "I'll _always_ have someone to have sex with now, and so will you."

"And not just anyone." Jane slid Maura's panties down and urged her onto the bed. "I get to have sex with the sexiest, most beautiful woman in the entire world." She looked at Maura laid out below her, smiling up at her in eager anticipation. It was really true. Maura _was_ the most amazing woman, and somehow, she was Jane's. Forever.

"So do I," Maura said, pulling Jane down onto her. Jane would never get used to this: the feeling of Maura's naked body pressed against her own. Maybe it was partly because she was used to having sex up against walls or in cars, but mostly she thought it was because Maura was the hottest woman she'd ever been with. She looked directly into Maura's eyes as they rubbed their clits together, listening to Maura's soft moans. Fuck, she could do this every night for the rest of her life, happily. And maybe she would get to. A raspy cry escaped from her own throat, and Maura cried out louder in response. Jane wasn't sure what it was, but every time she made a sound during sex, Maura reacted as if she'd just been touched in some delicious new way. She thought of their first time together, here in this bed (though in a different house). Maura looked different now. Her hair was longer, but that wasn't all of it. She looked…happier. Much happier, and more present in the world, less lost in her own mind. Had Jane really made her that way?

Maura let out a louder moan and turned onto her side, rolling Jane onto her side as well. Maura was gasping in her needy way, and Jane knew exactly what she needed. She reached to caress slick folds while Maura did the same to her. It was times like this when being a left-handed woman with a right-handed partner was absolutely perfect.

"I love you," Maura whispered as she slid her fingers inside of Jane.

"I know," Jane said, gasping in pleasure. She slipped inside her fiancée as well, remembering quite clearly the first time she had done so, the awe she had felt. "I love you too."

Maura grinned. "I know." She began thrusting harder and deeper into Jane, and Jane did the same to her until they were both crying out in pleasure. Afterwards they lay panting in each others' arms.

"We have a wedding to plan," Maura said dreamily when she'd caught her breath. "I always wanted to plan a wedding."

"Bet you didn't know that was where it would lead when you boldly got in bed with me the night Hoyt escaped from prison."

"I had no idea. I thought we'd probably just talk."

"We did talk…naked."

Maura giggled. "I'm glad I did it. And I'm glad I answered honestly when you asked if I was attracted to you. I thought you were joking, so I almost just laughed."

"I was kind of half-joking to test the waters. If you'd just laughed, I would have let it go. We probably wouldn't be naked right now."

"It's funny how your whole life can depend on such a seemingly small decision."

"Yeah, it's weird." Jane kissed her new fiancée, fingers exploring bare skin. "So…you wanna celebrate some more?"

They "celebrated" well into the night, and again when something woke them up in the wee morning hours, and again when they woke the following morning. It was past ten a.m. when they finally threw on some lounge clothes and made their way downstairs for breakfast.

"I was wondering if you two were ever going to come down or if I should go looking for you," Angela said when she saw them.

"Ma, please, _never_ come looking for us," Jane groaned. "We're adults, we can get up whenever we feel like it. It's the weekend."

"So how was your date last night?" Angela asked.

"It was great," said Jane tiredly, absentmindedly rubbing Maura's back as the blonde poured orange juice.

"Did you get any new jewelry?"

Jane looked at Maura. "She was in on this?"

"I mentioned it to her." Maura turned to Angela and gave her a dazzling smile. "She said yes!"

Angela let out an excited scream. "I knew she would! Jane, let me see!"

Jane sighed, holding out her hand so her mother could inspect the ring.

"Oh, it looks gorgeous on you!" Angela gushed. "I'm so happy for you both!"

"That's not all," Maura told her. "She asked me, too!" She held out her hand with the ring Jane had given her.

Angela screamed again. "Oh, Janie! I didn't know!" She took Maura's hand to inspect the ring more closely. "Wow, what a rock! Jane, where did you get this?"

"From Maura's mom. I told her I was thinking of proposing, and she said she had a family ring Maura would love."

"You told _her_ mom you were proposing and not your own mother?" Angela asked reproachfully.

"Well, she obviously told _you_ and not her own mother."

"I guess that makes sense. You both needed to ask for the blessing of your intended's mother. I'm just so glad one of my babies is finally getting married!" She hugged them each in turn, and when she got to Maura she said, "I'm so thrilled to have you in the family."

"Thank you, Mrs. Rizzoli," said Maura with a grateful smile.

"You don't need to call me Mrs. Rizzoli anymore! You're my new daughter, you can call me Ma if you want to."

"Oh, I…I couldn't," Maura said, blushing.

"Well then call me Angela, and I'm going to stop calling you Dr. Isles. You're my beautiful daughter-in-law Maura, mother of my future grandchildren!" She kissed Maura's cheek, and Jane rolled her eyes. Just last week, Angela had made Jane bunny pancakes at the café when she and Maura had come in for breakfast, and when Jane complained that it was embarrassing, Angela had pointedly told both of them that she could make bunny pancakes for grandchildren. All this nagging for grandchildren was only going to get worse when they got married.

Maura didn't seem worried, though. "Thank you…Angela," she said, a huge smile on her face. At that moment, Jane's annoyance at her mother's overbearing excitement melted away. Maura had the big, loving, obnoxious family she'd always wanted now. Thanks to Jane, she finally had the happiness she deserved.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

Episodes 2.8: My Own Worst Enemy and 2.9: Gone Daddy Gone

"What does your fantasy wedding look like?" Maura asked, looking through her laptop at her desk while Jane sat on the couch, flipping channels on the TV.

"Marrying a blonde medical examiner who's really good in bed," said Jane.

Maura giggled. "But besides that! Where do you want to get married? What will your dress look like?"

Jane made a face. "Wherever you want, and whatever you tell me to wear."

"Jane! This is your wedding too. You need to be an active participant in the planning. I want you to enjoy this."

Jane turned to face her. "If you're the one I'm marrying, and you're happy, then I'm happy. So plan it how you want."

"It's _our_ wedding, Jane. I need your help."

"Okay, fine. What does _your_ fantasy wedding look like?"

Maura smiled. "I've always wanted to get married on the cliffs of Santorini, overlooking the volcano. My dress will be silk charmeuse, with an empire waist and a 20-foot train."

"You wanna get married by a volcano? What if it erupts?"

"I'll check for seismic activity."

"And if there is some?"

"Jane, Santorini is a popular vacation spot, as well as a popular wedding destination. It's highly unlikely there will be an eruption around the time of our wedding, but if there is, we will go to Plan B. Unless you have a better venue in mind."

Jane sighed. "Is same-sex marriage even legal in Greece?"

Maura's eyes widened. "Oh, I hadn't thought of that. You know, I don't think it is."

Jane chuckled. "You have to remember, you're marrying a woman, so not all of your dream wedding ideas are going to happen in real life."

Not to be deterred, Maura did some Googling. "We could still have a wedding in Greece, it just won't be legally binding."

"Don't we want it to be legally binding?"

"Yes, but we can do that here at the town hall before we go."

Jane bit her lip, coming over to the desk to look at the computer. "Show me the place you have in mind."

Maura clicked through some pictures of different venues in Santorini. "Isn't it beautiful? Can't you picture us standing there, taking our vows just as the sun begins to set? And then we could spend our honeymoon touring Europe."

Jane looked at the pictures, then at Maura. She smiled. "If you can get it all to work out, I'm game." She went back to the couch.

"I'll give my mother a call tomorrow and tell her what I'm thinking of doing. She knows a lot of people, so she might be able to help us pull it all together."

The doorbell rang then, so Maura got up to answer it. She was not prepared for what she would see on the other side.

Ian Faulkner. Her former lover, a man she hadn't heard from in over a year, was stranding on her doorstep, with luggage.

"Ian," she said in surprise. "I…how did you know where to find me?"

"Your old neighbors told me after I crashed the wrong house. This is quite a place you've got now."

"Yes." As she looked at him, she felt the slightest tug on her heart. Some former version of herself wanted to run into his arms like old times, wanted to rejoice that the thing she was always waiting for was finally happening. But that part of her life was over now, and she'd found her real love. "I live here with my fiancée," she told him.

"Oh. Oh, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have assumed." He looked down at his luggage. "Well, I can find a hotel. Would you…" He trailed off, uncertain where to go from here.

"My fiancée is a cop," she explained. "I don't think I can help you anymore. It wouldn't look good for her."

"No, I suppose it wouldn't." He picked up his bags. "Did you say 'her?'"

"Yes."

"Maura, who is it?" Jane called from the living room.

"You'd better go," said Maura.

"Well, it was good to see you anyway. I guess this is goodbye."

Maura nodded. "Good luck with everything. I'm sorry I can't help with your work anymore, I know it's important, but—"

"I understand. Good luck to you as well, especially in your marriage." And the man she'd once dreamed of marrying turned and walked away. Maura closed the door, knowing she wouldn't see him again.

"Maura?" Jane walked into the foyer, looking concerned. "Who was it?"

"It was my past," Maura admitted.

"What, an ex-boyfriend?"

Maura nodded. "Ian."

"You never mentioned an Ian."

"I must have mentioned Ian. The surgeon? He was the love of my life before I met you."

Jane shook her head. "You never mentioned him."

"Well, I guess he was always hard to talk about. We served in Doctors Without Borders together, and we had a very intense relationship, but it just wasn't meant to be. The organization moved on from the area we had been in, and Ian thought it was a mistake, so he went rogue, stayed on his own with stolen supplies. He's continued traveling throughout Africa, practicing medicine illegally, smuggling in whatever he needs. I admire what he does, but it's not the life I wanted. I always dreamed of coming back to Boston and working as a medical examiner, and I certainly can't imagine practicing illegally. So I came back, but we still loved each other, so he would come to see me when he could, and it would be like we'd never been apart…except in between, we saw other people, and I was always trying to forget him, to find someone I would love even more so I didn't have to keep waiting for him." She looked up at Jane and smiled. "And then I found you."

Jane frowned. "So he was coming back for a booty call even though I was here?"

"Jane, don't be so crass. It was more than that, when we were together, but he goes long periods without Wi-Fi, often without even electricity or plumbing, so I haven't heard from him in over a year. He had no idea about you. I just told him. He won't be coming back."

Jane bit her lip. "So, how do you feel about turning away someone you had such strong feelings for?"

"Well, the person I was two years ago is quite sad to see him go."

"And the person you are now?"

"Is overjoyed that I don't have to sit around wondering when the love of my life will come back, because she's already here."

Jane smiled. "Thank you."

"For what?"

"For choosing me."

Maura laughed softly. "I really loved him, but in the end, it wasn't much of a contest. Our relationship has all the passion his and mine did, but you're also someone I can build a future with. You're everything I could ever want." She stepped closer to Jane and slid her arms around the taller woman. "It's more than that. You're my soul mate. I didn't even believe in those before I met you."

Jane smiled and kissed her. "I'm not sure I did either."

"I'm glad we found ours."

They gazed at each other for a moment, and then Jane cleared her throat. "Come on. We have a Greek wedding to plan."

~R&I~

Two weeks later, they had a date set for October in Santorini. It would be a small, intimate affair, and they would get legally married at the town hall in Boston the day before they left. When they got back from their honeymoon, they would have a reception for all their Boston friends in a rented room at Fenway Park (Jane's choice). Now they had only eight months to plan all the details. Maura was obsessed with the planning, to the point that she thought she was driving Jane mad at times, but there was no way around that. She would have thought nothing could distract her, until she and Jane found a dead woman with an ice pick in her heart.

Eight months had passed since Maura had found out that Paddy Doyle was her biological father, and she hadn't heard from him since that experience. She liked it that way. It allowed her to almost, almost, forget she was related to him.

Looking at the silver lining, she felt hopeful that this was the case that would finally get him arrested for murder. Then she wouldn't have to worry about him having her kidnapped just to talk to her, or worse, his enemies using her to get at him. In the meantime, she wasn't going to do anything to jeopardize the case. Jane, Frost and Korsak were the only people outside of the Irish mob who knew Maura's lineage, but nonetheless, she called Dr. Pike in to work the case so she couldn't be accused later of interfering. It was hard stepping aside, especially since she didn't much care for Pike, but it was the right thing to do.

She had hoped staying off the case meant she was staying out of the whole thing, but no such luck. Jane was working late one night, hoping just like Maura that they were finally going to get Paddy behind bars, while Maura stayed home, playing chess with Tommy, who was still staying in the guest house. Their game was interrupted when a man busted down the door, bringing Paddy in with a gunshot wound to the shoulder. He pointed a gun at Tommy and insisted Maura treat the wound.

"Is he your boyfriend?" Paddy asked, nodding towards Tommy while Maura did her best to treat him. "Or...fiancé?" he added, glancing down at her ring.

"Considering you're holding me hostage, I don't think you have any right to ask me questions about my personal life," she told him evenly. She wasn't sure she wanted him to know about Jane. What would he do, if he disapproved of his daughter being in a lesbian relationship? Would he take a hit out on Jane?

He accepted her non-answer, though, and didn't ask any more questions, although she felt he was being a bit manipulative when he said she reminded him of her mother, that she would like her mother if she knew her, but continued refusing to disclose any information about her. She remembered what he had said the last time – that her mother was entitled to live her own life. Would knowing Maura prevent her from living her life? Was Maura that much of a burden?

When Maura's phone started ringing, she pointed out that it was probably Jane. Paddy and his friend ignored her, though and as soon as Paddy was stable enough to move, his friend took him out, leaving Maura and Tommy tied to chairs in the dining room, their unfinished chess game between them. Not long after, Jane came in the front door, gun drawn. She knew Paddy had been there. Maura was instantly filled with relief, the sense that everything would be okay. Jane was there, cutting the ties that bound them – Maura first, then Tommy – and just the sight of her made Maura feel better.

"Are you sure you're up for this?" Maura asked as Jane rubbed her back in comfort. "Marrying into the mob? Having your door broken down and being held hostage in your own home?"

"If I'd been here, I would have been shooting a bastard in my own home," Jane said. "But yeah, I'm up for it." Maura turned to face her, and Jane pulled her close. "I just wanna be by your side no matter what, for the rest of your life. If mobsters are breaking down your door, then I wanna be here to fight them off. And hopefully soon I'll have your sperm donor behind bars so he can't terrorize you anymore."

"I hope so." Maura closed her eyes, leaning against her fiancée.

Jane heaved a sigh. "I think we should install a home security system. I thought _I_ was the security system, but I'm not always home, and I want you to be safe even when I'm not. We've lived here less than a year and we've already had two break-ins."

"I suppose it wouldn't be a bad idea. Perhaps it would deter Paddy's mob friends from thinking they can just come in whenever they want."

"Ands it'll set off an alarm even if they do. You wouldn't have to wait for me to figure out something's wrong. You'd get help right away."

"I wonder how he knew where I lived." Maura shuddered. "Are people watching me?"

"I don't know, honey, but we'll figure it out."

"He didn't know about you, though. He asked if Tommy was my boyfriend."

"Good, he's not watching that closely. Although maybe it would be for the best if he knew you were engaged to a cop."

"Maybe, but what if he hurts you?"

Jane gave her a reassuring smile. "He won't."

As it turned out, Paddy wasn't the one who killed the dock worker, and he got away from the police yet again. Jane was frustrated by that, and it didn't help that wrapping up the case gave her no more excuses to get out of mandated sensitivity training. She had just come home from that and was showing Maura her rainbow certificate of completion when Paddy called.

He didn't call Maura. He called Jane.

Maura hurried to Jane's side to listen in on the call. She heard Paddy explaining to Jane that he was one of the good guys, a man of honor. Then he said, "Take care of my daughter."

"I can take care of myself," Maura shouted before telling Jane to hang up.

"I think he figured it out," Jane said later that night, when they were alone. She was soaking in their marble whirlpool tub, trying to recover from the beating she'd taken at work. "He knows we're together."

Maura turned from the sink, where she was brushing her hair. She tried not to cringe at the sight of Jane's bruised body. She knew it was just part of the job, and she loved Jane's job, but this part was hard to deal with. "So now he wants you to think he's a good guy?"

"Well, you know. I _am_ his future daughter-in-law."

Maura scoffed. "No you're not, because legally, he isn't my father."

"No, but he's never going to stop thinking of you as his daughter."

"Well, I don't need him to approve of you. I don't even care if my _real_ parents approve of you. I'm going to marry you anyway."

"Well, your mom seems to like me at least." Jane swallowed, studying her fiancée. "When am I going to meet your father? The one who raised you?"

Maura looked down. "I don't know. He's a very busy man."

"Busier than your mom?"

"He travels a lot for research, when he's not teaching at Oxford. And sometimes he spends a semester teaching abroad."

"You never talk about him."

"There's not much to say."

Jane studied her carefully. "There's more to it than that, isn't there?"

Maura fidgeting with her engagement ring. "He's a liar. I don't really trust him anymore."

Jane nodded slowly. "Are you inviting him to the wedding?"

"Oh of course, it would be silly not to have both my parents there. Besides, my mother doesn't know…" She trailed off.

"Doesn't know what, Maura?"

Maura glanced at her nervously and looked away.

"Maura." Jane leaned over the side of the tub, looking at her intensely. "Did you do something to you?"

"No, no, nothing like that," Maura insisted. "He just…" She looked at Jane. "I've never told anyone."

"I promise not to repeat it, unless it's something I need to kill him for, in which case I will have no choice but to tell him why I'm killing him."

"You won't need to kill him," Maura promised. "It was just…when I was a teenager, I caught him cheating on my mother."

"Oh, Maura."

Maura dragged her vanity chair over and sat down by the tub, where Jane took her hand. "I had just gotten home from boarding school for the summer," Maura began. I was…almost fourteen. I flew from Paris to Boston and took a cab home because my mother was out of town, and I thought my father was working. They still had the house out in Newton, which was our primary home when I was little. My father was still teaching at Harvard then. I came home to an empty house and decided to go next door and see if my friend was home. We used to play together when we were younger, and she was probably the closest thing I had to a best friend growing up. I just…wanted someone to see me and be glad I was home."

"Of course," said Jane, squeezing her hand.

"No one came to the door at my neighbor's house, but I noticed it wasn't closed all the way, it opened a little when I knocked. I didn't see anyone, so I decided to go up to my friend's room and surprise her, if she was in there. But when I got to the top of the stairs…I saw my father, coming out of the master bedroom. He was buttoning his shirt, had clearly just gotten out of bed. My friend's mother came out behind him, and she was disheveled too. I got scared and ran back home." Maura realized she was shaking.

"What happened then?" Jane asked gently.

"My father followed me home. He apologized for what I saw, and he told me I should never mention it to anyone, ever. He made me promise. He said if my mom found out, it might break the family up. I didn't want that to happen, so I kept it a secret. But it ate me up inside. I felt like I was lying to my mother by not telling her, and you know how I've always felt about lying."

"It was wrong of him to make you carry that burden."

"I know," said Maura, wiping a tear away. "I never really trusted him again after that. Eventually my mother found out about the affair, maybe he told her, but they worked on their marriage and she forgave him. He transferred from Harvard to Oxford, and they sold the Newton house. I never saw my old friend again. I don't think I could have faced her anyway, knowing what I knew about her mother, and not being able to tell her."

"Did you ever tell your mother that you knew?"

Maura shook her head. "I was afraid she would be upset if she knew I was aware of what happened, either mad at me for not telling her or mad at my father for making me keep a secret. I didn't want to make matters worse. I wanted them to stay together. But I kept hoping he would apologize to me, talk to me about it, and he never did. I used to idolize him, but…he broke my heart. I've never been able to see him the way I used to. He never even tried to make things right between us."

"Oh, Maura. If I weren't so wet, I'd give you a big hug."

"It's okay." Maura brushed her tears away. "I don't miss him so much anymore. I just keep my distance, but not so much that my mom will notice."

"Have you ever tried talking to him about it?"

Maura shook her head. "I don't know how to start."

"It might be good to get it resolved before the wedding, so it's not awkward."

"I suppose." Maura looked up at Jane. "Thank you for listening."

"It's what I'm here for." Jane kissed her. "I guess we both have had to deal with parental marital problems."

"Yes, we have."

"Well, we're going to do better than them. I can promise I will never walk out on you, or cheat on you. I'd have to be crazy because you're kind of the most perfect woman on the planet."

Maura smiled. "I would never do those things to you either."

"I know."

"How do you know?"

"Well, you get hives if you lie, so I can only imagine what cheating on your wife would do to you."

Maura giggled. "Well, I just wouldn't do it, so we'll never find out."

 **Author's note: Wow, we're up to chapter 10 already! It's exciting to see so many people enjoying this little fantasy of mine! Don't forget to check out my books (links in my profile, or look up Michelle Arnold/Detective Amy Sadler) if you'd something else to read while waiting for the next chapter!**


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

Episode 2.10: Remember Me

On Jane's 35th birthday, her worst nightmare came true.

Hoyt got his hands on Maura. He hurt her.

It was bad enough when he was holding Jane down, and Maura was being made to watch. As she felt the scalpel cut into her skin, she could hear Maura crying. She didn't look at her, tried not to acknowledge that she really cared what happened to Maura, but it was too late for that.

"I like your new ring," Hoyt said in his low voice, the voice that haunted her nightmares. "Who gave it to you?"

Jane pressed her lips together, refusing to answer.

"I noticed the good doctor has a new ring as well," he continued. He turned to the prison guard, his newest apprentice. "Hold her down," he said. Jane was puzzled at first when Hoyt stepped away, leaving the prison guard to restrain her. Then he began walking towards Maura. "I think I'll start with Dr. Isles."

"No!" Jane screamed, straining against the man who held her down. "Don't you touch her, Hoyt!"

He ignored her, of course. He used the stun gun on Maura, causing her to fall helplessly onto the bed. Then he cut her neck with the scalpel, as he'd just done to Jane.

Something exploded inside Jane at the sight of Maura's blood. "No, stop!" she screamed. But she knew he wasn't going to. She had to get over there, to force him to stop, whatever it took. So she slammed her forehead against the prison guard's, knocking him backwards. She jumped up, ignoring the splitting pain in her own head, and grabbed the stun gun Hoyt had set aside, using it on the prison guard as she beat the shit out of him the best she could with her hands tied. She no longer cared what happened to her. All she wanted was to get Hoyt away from Maura.

When she turned to see Hoyt coming at her with the scalpel, she lunged at him, knocking him to the ground. She struggled with him until she managed to get her hands on the scalpel, and then she plunged it into his chest. Just then, Korsak and Frost burst into the room. Korsak shot the prison guard, who was getting back up, and then helped Jane up. At first all she could do was scream in frustration, but then she had to pull herself together.

"Cut me loose," she told Korsak, holding up her zip-tied hands. He quickly did so, and she saw Frost doing the same for Maura, who was sitting up now. Jane hurried over to her.

"Maura, baby, I'm so sorry," she said softly, putting one hand on Maura's shoulder and the other on her knee.

Maura looked up at her, eyes still slightly dazed and tears on her face. "Are you okay?" she asked Jane.

Jane shook her head. "No." The tears started to come, and she sat down on the bed beside Maura, putting her arms around her.

"What you did was amazing," Maura whispered.

"What, walking right into a trap and bringing the woman I love with me?"

"Overpowering two men with your hands tied."

"I'd take on twenty men with my hands tied if they were trying to hurt you."

Maura smiled slightly. "I bet you'd win."

The jail's doctor pronounced Hoyt dead, and the paramedics Frost had called for looked over Jane and Maura, patching up their wounds.

"You go home, honey," Jane told Maura afterwards. "I've gotta go into the station and write up a report, since I killed someone. You might as well go get some rest."

"It's still your birthday," Maura pointed out.

"Yeah, I know, and I'm sure Ma has a surprise party you have to get ready for. She thinks turning 35 is a big deal. Go do your thing, and I guess you have to tell everyone what happened, but make me sound super badass, okay?"

"You _were_ super badass," Maura said with a smile.

By the time Jane had finished writing up her report, it was starting to sink in: Hoyt was really dead now. She would never hear that raspy voice again, would never have to fear him finding a way to get at her or at anyone else. It might have been her worst birthday ever, but that was probably the best gift she could have gotten.

She went to the Dirty Robber looking for her surprise party, but there was no one there besides Murray. So she turned around and went home, where everyone was waiting with her horse-themed surprise party, including her sweet Maura. The party didn't last long since it was already quite late, but it was nice to be surrounded but her family and friends after such a horrific ordeal.

She was happier, though, when everyone was gone and she just had Maura.

"I'm gonna go take a shower," she told her. "I need to wash Hoyt's touch off of me."

"That's not a bad idea," Maura agreed. "There was likely an abundance of bacteria in the jail infirmary."

Jane went upstairs to the master bath, although she knew from past experience that washing Hoyt's touch off would never really work. She would still feel his hands, his breath, for years to come. She shuddered to think that Maura might have to deal with that now too.

She got into the big, marbled shower Maura had had installed in their bathroom and turned the water on as hot as she could stand it. She pulled off her clothes and tossed them into the hamper, wondering if she should just burn them. She took the bandage off her neck as well and stepped into the water. She picked up her washcloth, soaped it up, and began desperately scrubbing her throat in the spot where his hand had been.

Suddenly the shower door opened, and she jumped. She turned to see Maura, completely naked, stepping into the shower with her.

"What are you doing?" Jane asked.

"He touched me too," said Maura. She stepped under the water.

"I'm so sorry," Jane said. "I should never have let you come with me."

"How were you going to stop me? I would never have let you go on your own."

"I played right into his hands bringing you along. He figured it out. He knew we were a couple."

"Yes, he did, but you didn't _bring_ me. I _came_. My place is by your side, Jane, and you can't stop me from being there."

Jane's eyes flicked to Maura's cut. "He hurt you."

"He hurt you too." Maura's fingers traced the skin near Jane's cut. "It felt just like he was cutting me. It was horrible to watch and feel like I couldn't stop him."

"He would have raped and killed you in front of me."

"I know, if you hadn't stopped him. He would have done both of those things to you as well." Maura reached for the shampoo and squirted some on Jane's hair, reaching up to work it through her curls.

"I know. That used to be my worst fear, that he would do that to me." Jane picked up a bar of soap and rubbed it over Maura's body, imagining that she could really wash away the things that had happened that night.

"The cut he gave me will heal," Maura said, rinsing the suds from Jane's hair. "Your injuries will heal as well. We'll put all of that behind us. But I'll always remember the way you reacted to seeing me in danger, what you were capable of. I knew you loved me, of course, but…now I know how much."

"Well, you got me racing lessons, so now I know how much you love me too."

Maura smiled, and her lips ghosted Jane's cut. "I never thought I'd say this about anyone, but I'm glad Hoyt's dead now. You'll never have to worry about him again."

"No. I won't. Which is good, because if he had survived tonight, I would have been more anxious than ever. I can't deal with thinking someone's gonna try to hurt you."

"I know you're still going to have nightmares, but at least now, when you wake up from them, I can remind you he's dead."

"Yeah, I think I'm going to like hearing those words."

"I'll remind you whenever you want." Maura's lips trailed along Jane's shoulder and her hands slid down Jane's back, onto her ass.

"Hmm, someone is horny in spite of everything," Jane observed.

"Actually, I find nearly being murdered has given me a strong desire to make love to you." She kissed Jane's collarbone.

"You know, it's weird, but I feel the same way." Jane's hands moved up and down Maura's sides, caressing her curves.

"It's natural to want sex after coming close to death, or even after the death of a loved one. Sex is life-affirming." Maura's soapy hands moved back up, onto Jane's breasts.

"Yeah, because of all the babies we're going to make."

Maura smiled. "It's instinctive. Our biology is telling us to do this." She rinsed the soap off her right hand and used her fingers to part Jane's folds. "Doesn't this feel life-affirming?" she said softly, stroking Jane's clit.

Jane swallowed. "Yeah. Yeah, it does."

"Sex makes your whole body come alive," Maura murmured. She slipped her left arm around Jane's waist and slid two fingers inside of her, slipping in and out with increasing speed until Jane clenched around her, her ecstatic cries echoing off the shower walls.

"Oh fuck," Jane whispered as she came back down. "I'm glad I lived long enough to experience that."

"I love you so much," Maura said, slipping her arms around Jane's neck.

"Maura." The whispered name was the only thing that came out, the one word that meant everything to Jane. She kissed Maura hard, her tongue dueling with the blonde's as she pushed her up against the wall. Filled with a sense of urgency, Jane's tongue traveled down Maura's body, down her neck, between her breasts, over her toned stomach, down onto her heat. She sucked a swollen clit into her mouth and swirled it, tapped, stroked, swirled some more, and then Maura's sweet cries were echoing around them.

Gasping, Jane stood and looked at her fiancée for a moment before a grateful smile spread across her face. "You always know how to make me feel better," she said.

Maura smiled proudly. "Happy birthday!" she said.

"I'm pretty sure my birthday ended a few hours ago."

"Well, we're both going to get some time off now, so I think we can stretch the celebration out for a few days. You deserve it."

Jane grinned, turning the water off. "Then let's get started, shall we?"

"To the bedroom?" Maura asked.

"To the bedroom."


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

Episodes 2.12: He Ain't Heavy, He's My Brother and 2.15: Burning Down the House

Jane and Maura's first fight had been about Garrett, and Jane's fear that Maura was out of her league. Their second fight was about Tommy.

It wasn't that Jane thought Tommy was being flirtatious with Maura. She did think so, but she knew he would never dare to go beyond meaningless flirting with his sister's fiancée, and when he finally moved out into his own apartment, there was even less to worry about. The problem was that an FBI agent told Maura that Tommy was the suspected getaway driver in a bank robbery, and Maura didn't tell Jane her brother was about to be arrested.

She _wanted_ to tell her. She desperately wished she could, or that she didn't even know. She was pretty sure Agent Farrell didn't realize Maura was engaged to Jane, that Tommy was her future brother-in-law. She revealed the information without warning, then made Maura sign a Title 18 form promising not to disclose the information to anyone, not even Jane. If she did disclose it, Maura could serve up to 10 years in prison and lose her medical license. But not doing so made her feel like she was betraying her fiancée. The stress gave her a horrible stomachache.

As she feared, Jane was furious when Tommy was arrested and she found out Maura had known in advance. She told Maura she should have found a way to tell her without telling her, and when Maura replied that she could have gone to prison and lost her license, Jane retorted, "You didn't trust me to protect you, and you didn't protect me!"

Maura didn't know what to do. She had always been one to follow rules, and she certainly wasn't one to break the law. As much as she wanted to tell Jane right away, she believed she had no choice but to stay silent. That was the way the world worked, to Maura's mind. There were rules and laws and you followed them. That was the way it had _always_ worked. But the kind of loyalty Jane expected was something Maura was not familiar with. In Jane's mind, violating the trust of someone who loved you was the worst crime. Actual laws came after that on her list of priorities. Maura understood her reasoning, and Jane _was_ more important to her than anything else, but it was like Jane was speaking a language that Maura had never learned, a language Maura wished she had grown up speaking, and suddenly Jane was angry with her for not understanding. How did she learn it? How was she supposed to learn this language fast enough to make Jane love her again?

Because that was what it felt like. It felt like Jane didn't love her anymore. She was so angry, she slept on the couch that night. She couldn't even go upstairs to the guest room because there were too many memories there. In the morning, she drove to work by herself. She didn't even say goodbye to Maura. Maura was such a nervous wreck, she didn't even know how she could focus on her job. She had just ordered her wedding dress. She was in the middle of emailing bakers in Greece to work out a cake design for a wedding she was no longer certain was going to happen. Was it really possible that Jane, the woman she thought had loved her more than anyone else ever had, could just stop loving her that quickly?

She was sitting in her office, trying not to cry, when Frost walked in.

"Hey, Doc," he said. "You holding up okay?"

"Not really," she admitted. "Does Jane hate me?"

"Nah, everyone knows she loves you more than anything."

"She wouldn't come to bed last night."

He sighed, sitting down on the other side of the desk. "I know you were just doing your job."

"Jane believes I should have put her before the job," Maura said, her lip trembling. "I don't understand how to be the kind of person she wants me to be. I was never taught loyalty. I've never…I've never really received much loyalty before meeting her. I don't know how any of this works."

"Jane knows that. She knows your background is a lot different from hers."

"I like rules I can understand. I like things that are spelled out for me," Maura said, a tear slipping down her face. "When Agent Farrell told me I couldn't share the information with anyone, I didn't like it, but at least I knew what to do. The rules Jane follows are different, they're not written down anywhere, I don't know what I'm supposed to do. I want to make her happy, but I don't want to lose my job. I don't want to go to jail. Isn't there a way to do both?"

"Yeah well, Agent Farrell doesn't really understand loyalty either," Frost said hotly. "She should never have put you into that position. If Jane couldn't know about Tommy, you shouldn't have known either. It was tacky. It's her fault, not yours."

"Jane doesn't seem to think so."

Frost sighed. "Look, it's not really you she's mad at. It's the situation. She's stressed out because she doesn't want Tommy to go back to jail. She let herself finally hope that he was getting his life back together, and then this happened. She doesn't believe he did it, but she's afraid he'll go down anyway."

"I don't believe he did it either," Maura said. "The Tommy I know wouldn't do something like that. He's been working so hard to make his family proud. He was so grateful that we let him stay in the guest house, and he was so hurt when our house was burglarized and everyone thought he did it. He didn't do it, and I don't think he did this either."

"Well, the best thing we can do to get Jane out of her funk is to prove Tommy didn't do it, and the only way we can do that is by finding out who did."

Maura nodded. "I'll do everything I can."

She went to her lab and threw herself into going through the evidence over and over, trying to find a clue that would point them to who really committed the crime Tommy had been arrested for. Jane came in while she was working, and Maura mentioned the paint particulates she'd found in one victim's nostrils – the man who appeared to have been murdered after helping to rob the bank. He was a friend of Tommy's, but Jane said that Tommy claimed he'd been painting a house at the time of the robbery. The fresh paint particulates he'd inhaled backed that up.

"Unlike electrons, human beings can't be in two places at once," Maura pointed out. "Physical laws of quantum mechanics."

"I kind of love that you know that," Jane said softly, a smile curling the edge of her lip, the way it did when she thought Maura had done something cute or attractive.

"You do?" Maura said hopefully. "So you don't hate me?"

"No, I still hate you," Jane said.

"Okay. I'll work on hating you too." Maura turned back to her microscope, trying to figure out how she was ever going to hate Jane.

But Jane wasn't done yet. She had an idea for proving that Tommy and his friend weren't involved in the robbery at all. If Maura found the manufacturer of the paint, maybe they could track down where it was being used and find a witness who saw Tommy's friend there are the time of the robbery. Maura thought identifying the paint was a staggeringly difficult task, but she knew she could do it, and she would, for Jane.

"Good," said Jane. "And I'll do my gumshoe thing. There's only, like 3,000 streets in Boston."

Maura smiled thinly. "I kind of love that you can do that," she admitted.

"Well, then I hate you a little bit less," said Jane.

As Jane hurried out of the lab, Maura stopped her.

"Jane!" she called. "Do you know how long you're going to hate me for?"

Jane looked back at her. "It's too soon to tell," she said before leaving.

Maura turned back to her work, but she was smiling. Jane planned to stop hating her. That meant she really didn't hate her at all; she was just upset, like Frost said. The wedding was still on after all.

~R&I~

As it turned out, Tommy really didn't have anything to do with the bank robbery. Once Jane caught the men who were involved, Tommy was released from jail, and Jane wasn't mad anymore. Maura was intensely relieved, but far worse was coming.

As the months rolled by, they continued with their wedding planning. They picked out their wedding bands and booked their two-week honeymoon in Europe, which Maura was almost as excited about as the wedding itself. Maura even convinced Jane to go to her high school reunion in May so Maura could go with her and they could show off their engagement rings (Casey didn't come, so Maura couldn't rub it in his face, but she did get to size up Emily, Jane's first crush. No one looked surprised to see Jane engaged to a woman). In July, three months before the wedding, Constance came to visit for no reason other than to see Maura. That had never happened before, and Maura was utterly delighted.

And then everything fell apart.

On Constance's second night in Boston, Maura took her to dinner, along with Jane and Angela. The four of them had a wonderful time, and as they walked out, Constance linked arms with Maura and started talking about how she wished she'd spent more time with her over the years. Jane and Angela were lagging behind them, arguing over some leftovers Angela had stuffed in her purse, when Maura and her mother started out into the crosswalk. Suddenly they heard a squeal of tires and saw a car coming right at them. Constance yelled and pushed her daughter ahead of her. Maura landed flat on her face between two parked cars, and then the car squealed away and the only sound was Jane screaming her name.

" _Maura_!"

"Jane, I'm right here!" she called, pushing herself up in confusion. There was a stinging pain in her hands and knees where she had scraped them on the street.

"I think that car was _trying_ to hit you!" Jane helped her up and looked her over. "Are you okay?"

"I think so. Where's my mom?"

Suddenly they heard Angela yell, "Jane, get over here!" Maura looked around and saw Angela in the crosswalk bending over a heap on the ground. She realized with a start that it was her mother.

" _Mom!_ " Maura screamed, running out to the crosswalk.

"Maura, honey, I don't think you should be in the street. What if that car comes back?" Jane said, following right behind her.

"I have to help her! _Mom_!" Maura ran to her mother's side. The older woman was unconscious, her breathing labored but present. Maura didn't think it was safe to move her, so she just knelt by her side in the middle of the street while Angela called 911 and Jane stood guard.

Her injuries were bad, so bad that they wouldn't let Maura ride in the ambulance with her. Jane drove her to the hospital and called Frankie to take Angela home while the couple waited, still in their nice clothes from dinner, for the doctor to come give them a report on Constance.

When the doctor finally came out, the news was disturbing. Constance's injuries were extensive, and it was much too soon to say whether she would survive. However, she had made it through surgery, and they were doing everything they could. Jane held Maura while she cried inconsolably, and Maura was tempted to take her up on her offer to stay, to keep holding her until all was well again, but she couldn't. There was something more important Jane could do to help, someone she didn't trust anyone else to do.

"I want you out there doing what you do better than anyone else I know," Maura told her. "Find the bastard who did this."

So Jane went, and Maura was alone when Constance came out of surgery. She looked horrible, so limp and helpless with a ventilator on and some of her hair missing. But she was still alive, which meant there was hope. Maura thought back to all the times when she'd wished she had a different mother because hers wasn't warm and loving enough, and she felt ashamed. Her mother loved her enough to give her life for her. What more could she possibly ask for?

She was at her mother's bedside when Paddy arrived. It was only the fourth time she'd seen him, but the last time had been just four months ago. It felt like the situation was escalating, like every time he saw her made him want to see her again more than ever. She didn't like it. He always scared her to death when he showed up, and she found the mixed horror and relief she always felt upon recognizing him confusing.

The confusion didn't really end after she realized the man grabbing her from behind was just her biological father, the cold-blooded killer. He told her he was there to make sure her mother was going to be okay, and made it sound as if he knew her. But how could he? Maura's parents had always told her the adoption was private, that they didn't know who her biological parents were. She hadn't even told them that she'd found her biological father and that he was a mob boss; she'd assumed they would be upset. Paddy wouldn't explain anything, although for the first time, he promised to tell her who her birth mother was – when she was calm. Although she ordered him to leave, she found herself hoping he would come back at a better time and answer her questions.

She called Jane as soon as he left, and the detective rushed back to the hospital.

"I'm not gonna put a BOLO out on him," Jane said decisively, holding Maura's hand in both of her own. "I know that means he's probably just going to get away from us again, but someone tried to kill you, Maura. If he wants to help watch your back until we catch the bastard, I say let him do it."

"What if it gets out that you knew he was back in town and didn't put out a BOLO?" Maura asked worriedly. "It'll look like you're helping the mob."

"It's not gonna get out. The only people I'm gonna tell are Frost and Korsak, and you know they won't repeat it. They'll understand." She lifted Maura's hand to her lips and kissed it. "Protecting you is my first priority. It always will be."

It was more of the kind of loyalty Maura hadn't been raised with, but all she could do was accept it, and hope she could learn to give it in return.

"You're gonna stay all night, aren't you?" Jane asked.

"I can't leave her."

"I know I couldn't if it was my mom." Jane stretched. "I'll stay too."

"No, Jane, at least one of us should get some sleep."

"You think I could sleep in a big empty bed? I'll stay here with you, make sure you're safe. I bet it's the only way you're going to get any sleep."

Maura smiled slightly. "Quite possibly."

Jane left to get a blanket and came back. "I saw Agent Dean today," she remarked. "He said he was in town working on a case, but he couldn't tell me what it was. All I know is it can't be Hoyt."

"Do you suppose he could be looking for Paddy?" Maura asked.

"It's possible. I know the FBI has been on his trail for years, with no luck. He asked me if I was still seeing you."

"So he's still interested in you."

"I guess. I told him we're engaged now."

"I bet he didn't like that." Maura smiled slightly. She didn't like to gloat, but she would never not be proud of landing such a desirable woman.

"He didn't look too happy about it. The conversation ended there." Jane sat on the little couch by the window and patted the spot next to her. Maura sat beside her, and Jane put the blanket over both of them.

"We're never going to be comfortable enough to sleep here," Maura pointed out.

"Lean against me," Jane said.

Maura put her head on Jane's chest, and Jane wrapped her tightly in her arms.

"Is that comfortable?" Jane asked.

Maura closed her eyes. "Mm-hm. But what about you?"

"Don't worry about me right now. You need to rest."

Maura listened to the breath going in and out of Jane's lungs, feeling the warmth of her body and the security of her arms around her. This _was_ comfortable, she realized, and she _could_ sleep.

She knew she would never feel as safe anywhere as she did with Jane.

~R&I~

Maura trusted Jane completely. She had no doubt in her mind that her fiancée would always act in her best interests, would always do whatever was necessary to protect Maura and all that she loved. Jane was the only person Maura felt comfortable discussing her increasingly complicated feelings towards Paddy with. How could she be repulsed by the human being he was and yet touched by his obvious love for her? What, if any, obligation did she have towards a man who brought her into the world, cared for her and protected her, but stood for everything she was against? She didn't know, and Jane never pushed her to figure it out. She just listened, and she respected everything Maura felt.

When Maura decided the only way to bring down the man who had almost killed her mother was to go undercover, she wasn't scared at all. She knew Jane would keep her safe. She trusted the woman with her life. Jane seemed nervous about the whole operation, but Maura was sure she was just being overprotective. What could go wrong, with Jane looking out for her?

The undercover operation worked as planned. The killer came after her, confessed to his crimes, and then pulled a gun on her. She cried for Jane, but when he was gunned down, the shots didn't come from Jane's direction. She looked up to see Paddy at the top of a staircase with a gun. Then everything happened very fast. Jane and the other cops came out into the open, but so did Agent Dean. What was he doing there? He shot at Paddy for no obvious reason, and then Paddy shot back, wounding him. Then Jane pointed her gun at Paddy.

"No!" Maura cried. She couldn't, it would be wrong, Jane couldn't shoot Paddy. He still hadn't explained anything, she still hadn't sorted out how she was supposed to feel about him, and Constance's life still hung in the balance. She couldn't deal with this now, and Jane would understand that, Jane would never—

But she was wrong. Jane fired the gun, and her bullet hit Paddy. He fell from the staircase, fell an entire story before landing flat on his back on the concrete floor. Maura ran to him and worked to stop the bleeding, as she had once done for Jane. Jane ran over and offered her jacket. She looked worried – worried, after what she'd done! Did she not understand that she had just completely destroyed Maura's trust in her?

Maura yelled at her to stay away, and she actually took some satisfaction in Jane's hurt expression. Clearly she had no idea of the pain Maura was in, with two people who had loved her enough to risk their lives for her now in critical condition, and now the betrayal of the woman she planned to marry. Maura couldn't even stand to look at her right now.

Paddy was still alive when the ambulance came, but Maura didn't know if he would last. She would follow him to the hospital and, for the second time in only a few days, wait for news. She could check on her mother while she was there.

But first, she gave Jane her jacket back. She didn't even hand it to her; she just tossed it at her. And then, after a split second's hesitation, she removed her engagement ring.

"You can have this back too," she said, looking right into Jane's eyes as she threw it at her feet. And then she turned her back on the woman she loved.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

Episodes 3.1: What Doesn't Kill You and 3.2: Dirty Little Secrets

Jane didn't think her life could get any worse.

If she had learned anything, it was that it only took a few bad decisions to ruin your entire life.

She had thought she was protecting Maura by not putting a BOLO out on Paddy, but as it turned out, it would have been better if he'd been picked up right away. She'd also thought she was protecting Maura, in the long run, by letting her go undercover. She could keep her safe, she thought, and she'd get the bastard who tried to kill her off the streets.

But in the end, she was only protecting herself when she took that shot at Paddy. She saw him look at her, saw, in a fraction of a second, that he was starting to turn his gun on her. He might have told her once to take care of his daughter, but that didn't mean he approved of the relationship. This was his chance to take her out. Jane really believed she had no choice but to pull the trigger, but that didn't stop her from feeling bad, and it certainly didn't stop Maura from being furious with her. Maura was convinced that Paddy was only there to protect her, that he would never lay a finger on his daughter's fiancée. Jane knew Maura was a trusting person, sometimes to the point of naivete, but come on. She really thought Paddy was going to be on his best behavior just because his daughter was there? It was like she suddenly cared about him, suddenly thought he was a good person, when she used to know better. Worse, she seemed more convinced that Paddy was just trying to do the right thing then she was that Jane was.

Jane hoped she'd realize when she calmed down that Jane wasn't trying to kill Paddy, that she didn't want to shoot him, that she was just doing what she had to. Maura trusted her, didn't she? She had to know Jane wouldn't have shot him just so she could be the one to finally bring Paddy Doyle down or for any other stupid reason like that.

More than anything, Jane hoped she would ask for her engagement ring back. The wedding was just a few months away. Jane didn't think she could cope if the whole thing got cancelled, but she was also shaken by how quickly Maura had decided she could just throw all their hopes and dreams away. Shouldn't she have at least talked to Jane first?

"She'll come around," Korsak promised. "She's just very emotional right now. She's been through hell in the past few days. Just give her some time. Haven't you ever done something stupid when you were really upset about something?"

"Yeah, but Maura never does that sort of thing."

"Everyone does it. I know the Doc might be smarter than the rest of us, but she's still human."

Jane had other problems in the meantime. She was now being investigated by Internal Affairs. Apparently they suspected there were dirty cops in the BPD working for Paddy, and now they thought Jane was one of them because she was engaged to his daughter. They'd pieced together that she knew he was in town, and they knew she hadn't put out a BOLO. Jane knew that looked suspicious, and even worse, she knew they were going to have to talk to Maura, who couldn't lie. She rushed out to the hospital to tell Maura how to play the whole thing, but it only seemed to make matters worse. Maura was furious that Jane was only there to talk business instead of asking how Paddy was doing. Jane left feeling more frustrated than ever. Her job was in danger, her relationship was falling apart – basically, her entire future was crumbling.

"I don't know why she even gave me the ring. It came from her mom," Jane told her mother at home, when Maura wasn't there of course. "It would make more sense to give it back to her mother. I can't keep it."

"She gave it to you because she wants you to put it back on her later," Angela assured her. "She was mad, Jane. She was in shock. She still wants to marry you."

"She sure didn't look like she wanted it back."

"I know she does. She still loves you, Jane. She told me she feels bad for biting your head off. She gave some scientific explanation for why people do dumb things when they're stressed out. It was very obvious that she regretted returning the ring."

"She didn't sound like she felt bad when I saw her. She kind of bit my head off again." That wasn't entirely true. The first thing Maura had said to her was, "Jane, I'm sorry too." Then she had realized Jane wasn't there to apologize, and her attitude changed.

"Well what did you say to her?"

"I told her Internal Affairs was going to talk to her, because they think we're dirty. I told her she had to be careful what she said to them."

"That's your problem. You shouldn't have opened with work stuff. You should have started by asking how her father was doing, and her mother too."

"I didn't have time for that, Ma! The IA people were already on their way! We're both going to lose our jobs over nothing if we don't play this right! We knew Paddy was in town, and we did nothing. It looks bad. There's been an FBI agent following Maura for days, and we didn't realize it. They know more than we thought."

"I know, Jane, but which is more important to you, saving your job or saving your relationship with Maura?"

Jane made a face. "Can't I save both?"

"I sure hope so, but what if you had to choose? Which would it be?"

Jane looked down. "Maura."

"And that's what Maura is hoping for, but when you ran out there and started talking about work instead of showing concern for her, you sent her the message that your job is more important to you than she is. That's why she bit your head off again."

"Well maybe if she stopped biting my head off long enough, we could have an actual conversation."

"First you have to approach her the right way. She loves you, Jane. I know you two are going to work this out, and you're going to get married and have babies and be very happy together."

"I hope so, Ma."

But then Maura came home, and the sight of Jane just seemed to fill her with dread.

"Jane, I'm not sure you should be here until the investigation's over," she said.

"I live here," Jane pointed out.

"I know, but it looks bad. Your relationship with me is bringing you down."

So much for putting their relationship ahead of work. "Fine," said Jane. "Ma, get your things."

"What?" Angela exclaimed.

"If I can't be here, neither can you. Get your things. We're going to Frankie's." She turned back to Maura. "And I don't think I'll be needing this anymore." She took off her ring and handed it to Maura. Then she grabbed Jo Friday. She would have taken the damn tortoise too, except she didn't think she could carry them both.

Angela and Maura were both in tears by the time they left, and Jane was starting to feel like a monster, but she was too stubborn to admit it. She had never in a million years expected Maura to side with Paddy over her, and she wasn't going to take the risk of Angela siding with Maura over her now. If she was going to lose her job and her fiancée, she was at least going to hang onto her family.

But no matter how bad things got, they could always get worse, as she saw in a hurry. After spending a very uncomfortable night on the lumpy pull-out couch bed in Frankie's living room with her mother beside her (she had woken up that morning with her mother lovingly playing with her hair and thought for a second that it was Maura and that everything was okay again), she approached Maura at work, hoping they could finally talk. But when Maura responded to her presence by asking Jane about some item of hers she thought Jane must have taken to Frankie's that she wanted back, Jane lost her temper, and the situation escalated into a screaming match. Dr. Pike, who was filling in for Maura, called for police assistance, and then Cavanaugh came down and told Jane he was reassigning her to evidence collection. Later, Jane found out that Maura had turned in her resignation and that their house – well, Maura's house – had been ransacked by someone looking for the book Paddy kept track of his transactions in. Everything was going to hell, and fast.

But Jane was not the sort to go down without a fight. She was determined to figure out who the real dirty cops were, and she learned more about Maura in the process. After Jane found a picture in Paddy's file that looked just like a drawing Constance had given Maura that one of her former art students had done, Jane went to the hospital demanding answers and found Constance sitting at Paddy's bedside. She knew him. All these years of pretending she knew nothing about her daughter's birth parents, and she knew Paddy, personally. She got Constance to confess that the woman in the picture was Hope, Maura's birth mother, but she knew no further information and insisted she was dead. Their relationship had been forbidden, she said, and Paddy's father had threatened to kill both mother and baby. After Hope died in childbirth, Paddy brought Maura to Constance and insisted his family couldn't know the baby was alive. Constance had told her husband the baby had been abandoned on their doorstep, and they had gotten the best lawyer money could buy to push the adoption through.

Jane went to the cemetery in the picture and found a grave for Baby Maura Doyle, born and died on August 7, 1976. "Safe from all earthly harm," the marker said. If only. Jane wasn't sure if Constance really believed Hope was dead, but Jane didn't believe it. The way Paddy had talked about her, Jane was certain she was alive, but she probably really did think Maura was dead. All these years, Maura had believed her birth mother didn't want to know her, and it probably wasn't true.

Jane found Paddy's book buried at the grave site, and that led her to the real dirty cop – the IA officer who was investigating her. It was satisfying to see him arrested, and even more satisfying to go back to Homicide, her name cleared.

With the investigation over, Maura decided she didn't want to leave the Medical Examiner's Office after all, which was a huge relief. But as for their relationship…something was broken between them, and Jane didn't know how it was ever going to get fixed.

As the days passed, Constance's condition improved rapidly, allowing her to be airlifted to a hospital in London, closer to home. Maura's father, who had been conducting research in the Amazon, finally got word of his wife's condition and planned to meet her in London. She now had an excellent prognosis, which was wonderful news. And as for Paddy…his prognosis was excellent as well, aside from the going to jail part. He would stay at Massachusetts General until he was well enough to do that, but in the meantime, Maura had stopped visiting him. Apparently she had gotten her complicated feelings more or less sorted out, and her conclusion was that she wanted nothing to do with him. His admission that he wouldn't have thought twice about shooting Jane seemed to settle it for her.

And yet, she didn't apologize to Jane for taking his side.

Nor had Jane apologized for her behavior. Angela had moved back into the guest house, refusing to let a ridiculous lovers' spat keep her from her Luxurion mattress, but Jane was still sleeping on Frankie's couch and hating every second of it (Frankie wasn't overly thrilled either and kept asking when they were going to make up). Jane knew they needed to figure something out soon. They still had wedding plans hanging over them, plans they needed to cancel if they weren't going to go through with them, which was hard to imagine as things were. Cancelling wasn't that easy, either. Aside from the fact that Jane wasn't sure she was ready to accept that the best relationship of her life was over, neither of their moms were cooperating. Jane had tried giving the ring back to Constance before she went to London, but Constance refused to accept it, promising that Maura would want it back. Then Angela insisted on hanging onto it herself because she was afraid Jane would lose it, and she was also convinced Maura would want it back. Jane wished she could feel as confident as they were.

Working their first case together after the investigation didn't make her any more hopeful. Every time they were in the same room together, they would start arguing over something petty, and Jane would end up in such a bad mood that she was snapping at everyone who crossed her path. Then everyone started conspiring to _Parent Trap_ them. When Frost and Korsak realized that Maura needed to do water quality tests at the same as-yet-unlocated retreat where Jane needed to get a statement from some head yoga guru, they had both Jane and Maura's cars towed so they would have no choice but to drive together in Frost's car. Then Angela packed them a romantic picnic lunch, along with an audiobook about resolving conflict in lesbian relationships. Needless to say, they didn't listen to the book, and Jane had no plans of a romantic lake picnic. They spent most of the drive arguing.

When they found the retreat, Jane got them through security by pretending they were a loving, yoga-obsessed couple. _Pretending_. She put her hand on Maura in the most natural way, and the familiarity of the motion made her want to cry. She and Maura had never had to _pretend_ to be a couple before. She'd never needed an excuse to touch Maura. It wasn't right.

And then something happened that changed everything.

What happened was very simple, and much too familiar: they found themselves in danger. Maura saw something she shouldn't have, and when she told Jane they needed to run, she said, "Just trust me." And Jane stopped arguing, because she _did_ trust her. In spite of everything that had happened, she realized, she still trusted Maura with her life.

So they ran, or rather, they drove away through the woods, and for a minute, it felt like old times. They were just talking about the case, what Maura had discovered, and things were starting to make sense. Jane felt the excitement she always had when she was close to solving a case. This was something she loved to do with the woman she loved.

When the truck slammed into them, Jane's mind went where it always went in moments of danger: she had to protect Maura, at all costs. There was no arguing as they made their way through the woods together. Jane noticed that Maura was favoring her left leg, which had been stuck in the car after they were hit, but she assumed it was just badly bruised since Maura was walking on it without complaining. She was genuinely surprised when Maura suddenly announced she couldn't go any further and begged Jane to help her get her boot off. What she found astounded her. Maura's leg looked like a corpse's, and it felt hard as a tree trunk. Maura was clearly in agony, and being a doctor, she knew immediately what the problem was: something called compartment syndrome that would result in the loss of her leg if she didn't have surgery _immediately_. This meant Jane had to do the surgery herself, using a shard of glass from her cell phone's broken screen. She didn't think she could do it, but she couldn't let Maura lose her leg either, so she made the required cuts.

Unfortunately, Maura passed out early in the process, so she couldn't talk Jane through the procedure. Jane did exactly what Maura had told her: she made an incision on each side of her leg and massaged the wounds until black blood came flowing out. She used her shirt to bind the wounds, and then she did something she wasn't sure she'd ever get to do again: she held Maura in her arms.

She didn't know if Maura would want her to do it or not, but she couldn't just leave her lying on the ground, so she pulled Maura's head onto her lap and cradled her, listening for noises in the woods around them while she waited for the ME to wake up. Unfortunately, she couldn't seem to rouse her. Occasionally Maura would stir and mumble something, but she wasn't making a lot of sense. She seemed to think they were on a camping trip, and she said something about their honeymoon.

 _If we live through this_ , Jane thought to herself, _I'm gonna fucking apologize like I should have done in the first place. I'm gonna tell her I still want to marry her. I'll beg her to let me give that ring back._ The last thing she wanted to do was end up like her dad, throwing away the best relationship she was ever going to have and ending up with some bimbo.

There would be no declaration of undying love in the woods that night, though. The men they were running from caught up to them, and their guns were bigger than Jane's. She had no choice but to surrender her weapon, to allow one of the men to carry a confused and frightened Maura while they marched her to her doom. Maura was still completely out of it when the men left the two women restrained in Frost's wrecked car, leaving them to drown as a culvert began to flood their car with polluted water.

"Call your mom," Maura mumbled pleasantly, oblivious to the deadly situation they were in. "Tell her the wedding is still on."

"Okay," said Jane, laughing in disbelief. She tried to turn her broken phone on, and to her surprise, it worked. Well, it wouldn't let her make calls, and she could only type in symbols, but it sort of worked.

And then she learned that Maura was a genius even when she was completely delirious.

Thanks to her impressively quick thinking, Jane was able to get a message to Korsak, who was already out looking for them, and he arrived in time to get Maura safely out of the car before it flooded. By then Jane had freed herself from her restraints, but she wasn't about to get out of the car until she had Maura freed as well. Maura still seemed confused – she thought Korsak was now on the camping trip with them – but at least now they were able to get her to a hospital, where she belonged.

By morning, Maura's leg was all patched up, and she was alert again. Best of all, she was still being nice to Jane. Deep inside, for the first time since the whole thing had started, Jane knew everything was going to be okay.

Angela, Frankie, and Tommy were all there to help Maura get settled in and prop her injured leg up. Maura proudly told Angela how impressed the surgeon had been with Jane's incisions.

"I always wanted a doctor in the family," Angela beamed.

"Well too bad, you got two cops and an…undertaker," Jane said, referring to Tommy's latest career adventure.

"No, no, no, I'm not doing that ever again!" Tommy insisted.

Angela laughed. "I got three great kids," she said.

"I think you got a doctor too," Jane said with a smile, sitting down next to Maura.

"Thanks," Maura said softly, looking at her in a way Jane had thought she would never see again. "And thank you for saving my leg, Jane."

"I think you two should apologize to each other," Angela told them sharply.

"Butt out!" they informed her in unison, but then Maura turned to Jane. "I'm sorry if you are," she said.

"Okay, but I'm less sorry," Jane joked. "No, we were both jerks. Especially me. I shouldn't have expected you to think clearly when you were that emotional, I mean I know I wouldn't have."

"I still wish I hadn't said those things. I know you had a difficult decision to make."

"I know, and I don't think I could have done anything differently, but I should have…I should have just let you yell at me. You never yell, I mean that's what made it so shocking, but I should have just accepted that you had more stress than you could handle at that point. That's how our relationship should work. You're usually the better person, but you can't always be, and when you can't then it's my job to step up and be good enough for both of us."

Maura gave her a small smile. "I missed you," she said.

"I missed you too." Jane pulled Maura into a hug, and then she pulled back and kissed her for a long time. Finally, when she heard the others clearing their throats, Jane pulled back. "I still wanna marry you," she said.

"I want to marry you too," whispered Maura.

"Hold on, let me get the ring!" Angela shouted. She ran out to the guest house and came back with Maura's beautiful sapphire and diamond ring, which she handed to Jane.

Jane got down on one knee beside the couch and looked up at the dirty, banged-up woman she loved. "Maura Isles, will you marry me?" she asked, her voice breaking a little.

"Yes," said Maura, holding out her hand to accept the ring, which Jane was more than happy to slip back on.

"Hallelujah, we still have a wedding coming!" Angela cried.

"Your ring is upstairs in our bedroom," Maura told Jane.

"We need to go up there anyway so we can get cleaned up, maybe get some sleep finally," said Jane. "I know you had a nice little nap on the forest floor, but I was up all night. I'm exhausted."

"I'm pretty tired too," Maura admitted. "And right now I'm really, really glad you talked me into fixing the elevator."

"See, I have _some_ good ideas." Jane helped Maura up, and Tommy helped Jane get her to the elevator. "All right, I've got it from here," Jane told her brother, holding Maura up.

"As soon as we get up there, I'm going to give your ring back," Maura said contentedly when they were finally alone.

"Mmm. And I'm going to give you a sponge bath."

Maura grinned. "I love you," she whispered.

"I love you too." Jane pulled her close. "And I'm never, ever going to fight with you again. Even if I have to pretend you're always right all the time. It's just not worth the stress."

Maura pulled back, her eyes twinkling. "This could be fun!"

 **Author's note: a new school year is starting this week, and since that's where I work, the spaces between my updates will get a little longer. I still aim to put up at least one chapter each week, so don't panic! I wouldn't abandon you!**


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

Somewhere in between episodes 3.4 and 3.5: The Wedding!

"Maura darling, you look perfect."

Maura looked at herself in the mirror. She did, in fact, look very much the way she'd always imagined she would on her wedding day. Her strapless bodice was embellished with tiny shining beads, while the full, flowing skirt was just smooth silk. The bodice dipped low in the back, and the front showed just enough cleavage to get Jane's attention while staying classy. Her lace-edged veil set it off, along with an elaborate necklace of diamonds and sapphires with matching earrings. Her hair, which she had gotten cut and colored several weeks ago, rested neatly on her bare shoulders.

"Do you think Jane will like my dress?" she asked her mother, still looking at herself.

"If she doesn't, she's out of her mind," Constance said decisively. "You couldn't be more beautiful. I'm so glad you two worked things out so this day could happen."

"Me too," said Maura softly. "How are you feeling, Mother? Is it hurting you to stand too long?"

"Of course not dear, I'll be fine. I've been doing very well in therapy. Nothing could possibly distract me today."

Maura looked at her mother and smiled. Constance had gotten her hair redone to artfully cover the part that had been scraped off in the accident, though Maura was sure it was growing back by now. Outwardly, there were no signs that she'd been hit by a car less than three months ago, but Maura knew the internal injuries would take months to heal fully. Her mother had to be in some pain, but she wasn't one to let on. Maura hoped the happiness of this important day would take her mind off of any lingering discomfort, just for today.

"Now you just need your bouquet and you'll be ready to walk down the aisle to greet the love of your life," said Constance dreamily. Maura had never seen her like this. "I can't help thinking back to the day I married your father," she said as she handed Maura her bouquet of roses, peonies, sweet pea, and trailing greenery, all tied up with a white silk ribbon.

Maura smiled sadly. She had taken Jane's advice and talked to her father about his handling of being caught out by Maura during his affair. The talk hadn't made her feel much better. And she still didn't trust him much, but she was trying her best to move forwards with their relationship, especially for the wedding. Still, she didn't like her wedding being compared to her parents'. Their marriage would be much healthier, because she knew Jane would never cheat on her, and she certainly wouldn't cheat on Jane. And whatever happened between them, she could not imagine putting their future children in the middle of it. Still, she knew it was reasonable for her mother to feel nostalgic.

"Your wedding must have been beautiful," she said quietly. "I've seen the pictures, but I'm sure it was even more amazing in real life."

"My parents' estate hosted many elegant weddings through the years," Constance said fondly. "But Santorini was an excellent choice for you. Such a beautiful island."

There was a knock at the door, and one of the venue workers stuck her head in. "Is the bride ready?"

"This one is," said Constance proudly.

"Time to take your place. We're going to start now."

Maura drew in her breath. This was it. Although technically she and Jane were already married – they had taken vows at the town hall in Boston a few days earlier – Maura knew she wasn't going to feel married until after the ceremony, when she would be wearing Jane's ring. She checked herself in the mirror one last time.

"You look absolutely perfect," Constance assured her. "Come on, your father is waiting." Constance picked up Maura's train and they walked out into the corridor, where Arthur Isles stood. He looked at his daughter in her wedding dress, and Maura was surprised to see tears appear in his eyes.

"You look beautiful, Maura," he told her.

"Thank you, Dad," she said, feeling the blush form in her cheeks. "Shall we?"

They walked up the steps to the roof of the building, an old mansion built on the cliffs. Once they got their cue, they came all the way up into the fresh air, where Maura could hear the hired musicians playing. She walked onto the beautiful rooftop terrace between her parents and took in the sight.

The sun was just starting to set, lighting the sky in a tableau of colors reflected in the Aegean Sea, which they had an excellent view of from up here. On the terrace, a few white wooden chairs were set up on either side of a long white carpet, with fragrant bouquets of large white roses on either side of the aisle. Standing beside the chairs were Angela, Frankie, Tommy, Frost, Korsak, and Susie. At the end of the aisle stood a white silk canopy, under which was constructed a little altar, decorated with more flowers. At the altar stood the officiant they had hired, and Jane.

Jane looked absolutely breathtaking. Her dress was simple yet elegant. It was form-fitting and bared her beautiful shoulders, with just a hint of cleavage. She had her hair up, with a simple veil hanging down in back. She was wearing the necklace and earrings Maura had given her for the occasion, made of diamonds and rubies, to match her engagement ring. She held a bouquet that matched Maura's, and she was looking at Maura in awed disbelief.

Maura locked eyes with her and didn't let go as she made her way down the aisle. She barely noticed Constance taking their bouquets away; she just gratefully reached for Jane's hands and clasped them in her own.

"I don't even have the words to tell you how beautiful you look right now," Jane whispered, a catch in her voice.

"You look absolutely stunning," Maura whispered back. "I can't wait to get you in the bridal suite."

The ceremony was perfect. They took their vows in front of their very dearest family and friends, while the sky turned vivid shades of pink and purple behind them. Finally, their rings were exchanged, they had both said "I do," and the officiant called for them to kiss, sealing the pact they had made. After posing for some pictures, everyone filed back inside for the reception.

"It's still hard to believe this is real," Jane said quietly to Maura as she was eating her second piece of chocolate ganache cake. "I mean you always look amazing, but tonight…I just can't believe this is for me, that you're really mine."

"I _am_ yours, for as long as we both shall live. That's the vow we took," said Maura happily.

"Yeah," Jane said softly, stroking the silk of Maura's skirt.

"I had our bags taken over to the bridal suite. It's all set up for us," Maura murmured.

"Mmm." Jane slipped her arms around Maura's waist and kissed her cheek. "I wish we could go there now."

"We can't. We put on the invitations that the reception is until 11:30, and it's only 10:47." Maura rested her face against Jane's bare shoulder, fingers tracing olive skin on Jane's other shoulder.

"Did I agree to that? If so, I'm a moron. I wanna be alone with my bride."

"Well as much as we spent on these dresses, we should certainly try to get as much wear as we can out of them."

Jane shrugged. "I can do you with the dress on."

"Do you think you two could keep your hands off each other while other people are in the room?" Frankie griped as he passed by.

"Well can you leave?" Jane snapped, still holding Maura close.

"Not as long as the champagne is free. This is the best I've ever tasted."

"Ugh, just don't get super drunk and knock up one of the local women," Jane complained. "And stay away from Susie too."

"I'd never thought about Susie and Frankie as a couple," said Maura thoughtfully, lifting her head. "In a way, they wouldn't be so different from you and me."

"Not helping," said Jane. She leaned close to Maura as Frankie wandered off to talk to the pretty bartender, ignoring her advice. "Seriously, what do we gotta do to get this party wrapped up early? Seeing you in this dress is making me horny."

Maura sighed patiently, although inwardly she was feeling just as eager as Jane was. "At 11:20, we can start saying goodbye to people. Then we can be out the door at 11:30 sharp."

"Please, you think they're going to let us go in just 10 minutes?"

"Okay, 11:15."

"11 o'clock."

"How about 11:10?"

"11:05. Final offer."

Maura laughed. "Okay, 11:05 we start the goodbyes. Then the limo will take us to our bridal suite."

~R&I~

45 minutes later, Maura was coming loudly under the round, cave-like ceiling of their bridal suite. They had only made it as far as the couch, where Maura was sitting, still in her wedding dress although now sans panties, with Jane up her skirt, tongue exactly where Maura wanted it.

"Oh Jane," Maura gasped as she slowly tumbled down from her high. "You are so good at this. I hope my cunnilingus never disappoints you."

Jane emerged from under her skirt. "Disappoint me? Why would you even worry about that? You rock my fucking socks off, or at least you would if I was wearing socks in bed."

"I just don't have as much experience with it as you do."

"Yeah well, as you once told me, you're a _very_ fast learner." Jane grinned. "Seriously, you're the best I've ever had. It's why I married you."

"Really?" Maura grinned back. "I do my best. I actually quite enjoy performing oral sex on you."

"Yeah, I noticed." Jane stood up and looked around. "So can we see the rest of this cave-like bridal suite? There has to be a bed around here somewhere."

"Yes, there's a bedroom, a bathroom, and a terrace."

"Great! Which one do you want to continue our wedding night sex in?"

Maura pondered that. "Well, the bed should be last, because we'll go to sleep when we're done."

"That sounds logical."

Maura lit up. "Why don't we go to the bathtub next?"

Jane chuckled. "I'll go run the water." Maura followed her into the bathroom, and smiled at the surprised noise Jane made. "The bathroom is nicer than the living room!" she exclaimed.

"The bathroom is one of the reasons I chose this suite for our wedding night," said Maura serenely. "Though I think you'll be even more impressed when we get to Athens."

"This is impressive enough. The tub is like an in-ground swimming pool!" Jane knelt in her wedding dress and turned on the water in the enormous whirlpool tub, which was in the floor. She stood up and looked around as it was filling. "So the shower is out in the open. What's the thing in the little closet?"

"That's a steam room," said Maura.

"Oh. Well I don't think we'll be needing that."

"Why not?"

Jane smiled slyly. "We'll be making our own steam."

Maura grinned, feeling turned on all over again. "You look so beautiful in that dress," she said, taking one last look.

"Thank you. As I already stated, you look amazing."

"Thank you. I'm going to take the dress off you now."

"All right. I appreciate the notice."

Maura stepped closer, eyes drinking in the form of her bride as she reached around to unzip the dress. She took it off carefully and hung it in the closet. "We should take mine off as well," she said practically.

"I thought you'd never ask." Jane glided forward in her underwear and began working her way through the layers of Maura's dress and undergarments. Maura hung her dress neatly next to Jane's and then turned around wearing only her bustier, the panties having been removed earlier. She looked at Jane, who was dressed in a strapless bra and a thong, and smiled shyly at her. "Yeah, I'm a little nervous too," Jane said. "It's my first time and all."

Maura laughed. "It is not!"

"How could you say that! I've been carefully preserving my virginity for our wedding night! I have never touched a vagina before. Well, until a minute ago, on the couch, when I touched one with my tongue."

Maura just laughed, shaking her head. "Could you undo my bustier?"

"Certainly, it will be so exciting to see boobs for the first time." Jane undid the bustier and let it fall to the floor. Maura cast a seductive smile back over her shoulder and began walking towards the bathtub, keeping her back to Jane.

"Well that's not fair, I still can't see your boobs," said Jane. "Nice ass, though."

"You're just going to have to come with me. The tub is full." Maura stepped down into the hot water and turned off the faucet before switching on the whirlpool jets. Then she turned around and sat down, looking expectantly at Jane.

"Okay, this I can get into," conceded Jane. "The Jacuzzi thing makes your boobs dance."

Maura giggled. "Come join me."

Jane walked slowly towards the tub, seductively removing her bra and thong as she did. She stepped down into the bubbling water, Maura openly admiring her naked body as she did so. She sat in the tub across from Maura, who glided over to her.

"Since it's your first time, perhaps you should lie back and let me pleasure you," Maura said sweetly. She snaked her right arm around Jane's waist, fingers splayed across a firm buttock, while her left hand explored two breasts that were, indeed, dancing merrily in the frothy water. Her mouth went to work on Jane's long, inviting neck, sucking and nibbling here, licking there. As far as she was concerned, Jane's entire body was her playground.

"I could definitely get used to this," Jane said with a happy sigh, wrapping her arms around Maura's naked form. "You are _so_ unbelievably sexy. Are you really my wife now?"

"The Commonwealth of Massachusetts and these rings say I am," Maura said, momentarily lifting her left hand so she could wiggle her fingers in the air, showing off a beautifully engraved wedding ring, her engagement ring nestled on top of it. Then she went right back to playing with Jane's breasts. Maura was not a woman who was easily distracted.

"I feel like I won the lottery without even buying a ticket," Jane murmured, stroking Maura's hair.

"I know what you mean." Maura's hand dipped lower, tracing perfect abs under the water before making their way to the folds she knew so well. She traced them lightly, teasingly, watching Jane's face as the detective fell silent as though concentrating on the sensations. Maura was concentrating too, although really, she knew Jane's body so well by now that she could probably bring her to orgasm in her sleep.

Maura slipped two fingers inside her new wife and began thrusting them, simultaneously teasing her clit with her thumb. She watched in satisfaction as Jane slipped lower into the water, pushing her hips upwards to meet each of Maura's thrusts. Maura cradled her lovingly as she coaxed Jane to climax, her hoarse cries echoing around the cavernous bathroom.

"There, my love, you're not a virgin anymore," she said softly, kissing Jane's cheek.

Jane cleared her throat. "I'm glad I had someone so skilled to…usher me into womanhood."

Maura giggled. "We have all night, you know."

It didn't take long for them to get overheated in the whirlpool bath, though. It was a warm night, so Maura suggested they go out on the terrace and get some fresh air to cool off. The two women emerged from the tub and reached for the hotel towels to dry themselves off. Jane was putting on one of the hotel bathrobes when Maura went into the bedroom, opened the French doors leading onto their terrace, and walked out, casting her towel aside.

"Maura Isles!" Jane shouted. "You did _not_ just walk outside completely naked!"

Maura laughed. "Come out with me!" She turned around, feeling the fresh air on her damp skin. She couldn't remember the last time she's been outdoors in the nude. It felt very freeing.

"Maura, get back in here before someone sees you!" Jane said through gritted teeth.

"It's a private terrace! Come out here!"

Jane stepped out cautiously, wrapped in her bathrobe. She looked around the terrace. It consisted of a patio with two lounge chairs and a small in-ground infinity pool, the water glowing from the lights within. On each side was a high, white clay wall, giving them complete privacy from the terraces that must be on either side. The patio ended with a steep drop-off, as the hotel was built right on the edge of the cliff. Below was the sea, in the distance were glittering city lights, and above them were only stars.

"Wow," Jane said. "I guess this _is_ pretty private."

Maura nodded proudly. "I chose this hotel for a reason."

"The big bathtub, and the private terrace where we can skinny dip in our private pool."

"Exactly!" Maura walked down the steps into the pool. "Take off the robe!"

Jane took one glance around as if confirming this really was a _private_ terrace, and then she shrugged off her robe and walked down into the water. "You really do have some good ideas," she admitted.

"I know," said Maura. She pulled Jane into her arms and kissed her. "And we really have got _all night_."


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

The Honeymoon – in between episodes 3.4 and 3.5

Jane readily followed Maura into their penthouse suite in Athens. It was their first night here, and she had yet to see the inside of the room, but she already knew it would be amazing. Maura had done all the booking for their honeymoon, and she had assured Jane she'd gotten the very best she could find. She wanted their honeymoon to be spectacular – as if it had a chance of being anything less.

They had left Santorini just after lunch, having spent two nights in what Maura persisted in calling their "bridal suite." Maura had spent their final morning sunbathing naked in one of the lounge chairs on their private terrace, which had resulted in Jane eventually losing control and getting on top of Maura in the lounge chair after shedding her own clothes, the two of them frantically rubbing their bodies together, Jane in between Maura's open legs, until they both came as quietly as they could (while the terrace was private, it wasn't exactly soundproofed). It was a memory Jane was confident she would treasure for the rest of her life, along with the memories of the two of them swimming naked in the lighted pool at night, and the memories of sex on their towels right beside the pool, and sex in that enormous whirlpool tub…and, oh yes, there had been sex in the bed as well.

So in the end, Jane really hadn't seen that much of Santorini. But she was okay with that.

Now they were fresh from dinner in Athens, the sun was going down, and Maura was telling her how this suite had a rooftop terrace with a heated pool that was much bigger than the one in Santorini.

"It had better be well-heated. It's a little cooler here than it was last night in Santorini."

"There's also a hot tub out there, if we get chilly," said Maura happily.

"Holy Moses," Jane exclaimed as she stepped through the hallway and into the living room. "I think you got the party suite! This place is huge! We could have like seven people staying in here!"

"It's the penthouse," said Maura matter-of-factly.

"Are we having friends over? Why do we need two couches and a big dining table?"

"We don't, but it was the only way to get this." Maura opened the sliding glass doors in the living room and switched on the dim lights for their rooftop terrace. Jane followed her out into the cool night and drew in her breath. Their pool in Santorini had been small, just big enough for two people. This was a full-sized pool, and it was all theirs. It went right up to the edge of the roof, where a plexiglass wall kept them from falling over without impeding their view of the city below, which included a perfect view of the glowing Acropolis, which looked down on everything.

"Wow, Maura," said Jane quietly. "You outdid yourself."

"Do you like it?" Maura asked breathlessly.

"I do. I love it." Jane turned to Maura. "Which Greek goddess is supposed to be the goddess of love?"

"Aphrodite."

"That's it. You're my Aphrodite."

Maura grinned. "Shall we go for a swim?"

"I think we shall, but I think we shall need swimsuits this time, unless we want all of Athens to view our nakedness."

"I'll go get changed," said Maura.

Jane went to use the bathroom, where she noted the presence of another large tub (though not quite as fancy as the one they'd left behind), and then she wandered through the maze of rooms until she found the bedroom and her suitcase. Maura was already gone by then, so Jane quickly changed into her bikini, grabbed a towel, and headed out onto the terrace.

Maura was already in the pool, doing laps in her own bikini. Jane approached the pool cautiously, wrapped in her towel. "Are you warm enough?" she asked. "I mean it's warm out, but it's not really _hot_ anymore."

"It's warm enough as long as you keep moving," Maura assured her. "Come on in with me!"

Jane stuck a toe in the water and then pulled it back out. "Maybe I'll start with the hot tub."

"No, we go there second. Come on, I'm spending a lot of money on this suite! We might as well enjoy it!"

Jane glanced around at the city below them, well mostly below. There weren't many people who would be high enough to see them up here in their bikinis, and she supposed no one could see them under the water, but still, she almost felt like she was on display up here. Then she looked back at the water and saw something floating towards her.

It was Maura's bikini top.

Jane's eyes sought out the blonde, finding her at the opposite side of the pool, in water up to her neck, breasts freely floating in the water. She smiled seductively at Jane.

"That's not fair," Jane said.

"It is fair. Come in!"

"You can talk me into anything," Jane griped. She tossed her towel onto one of the loungers and eased herself into the water. "It's cold!" she hissed.

"I told you, it's warm as long as you keep moving. Swim to me!"

"That would involve getting the upper half of my body wet," Jane pointed out.

Maura began to loosen her bikini bottom.

"Okay, I'm coming," Jane said decisively. She forced herself to get all the way in the water and swam for her life towards Maura. But when she got there, all she found was a floating bikini bottom. The naked blonde was now on the other side of the pool.

"Catch me," she teased.

"Okay, you asked for it," said Jane. She knew Maura was in excellent shape, but Jane's mom had had some sort of unreasonable fear of her children drowning, and as such, she had made them all take intensive swim lessons throughout their childhoods. All three probably could have been the stars of their high school swim team if they hadn't been so utterly sick of swimming by then.

So Jane swam after Maura, not even trying hard at first. Maura got to one side of the pool and then turned around, trying to cleverly dart past Jane, but Jane turned quickly and caught her, pulling the shorter woman close to her. Maura let out a yell and then giggled.

"You'll never get away from me," Jane teased, her hands roaming Maura's body under the water.

"That's okay, I don't really want to," Maura said in a low voice, looking down at Jane's cleavage lustily. Jane pulled her into a kiss, tongues dueling as Maura fumbled to untie Jane's bikini top. Jane felt the top being lifted away and wondered why she had bothered to put it on in the first place. Deft fingers explored her breasts, teasing her nipples. One hand began to trail down Jane's abs, but Jane grabbed her new wife by her rear end and lifted her easily in the water. Maura readily wrapped her legs around Jane's waist, rubbing herself up against Jane's exposed hip.

"Is it okay if I fuck you right here in this pool?" Jane murmured.

"That's what we're here for," Maura pointed out. She angled her pelvis to give Jane access, biting her lip expectantly. Jane moved in with agonizing slowness, watching Maura's face as she rocked her hips to try to get Jane in faster. Finally, Jane stopped teasing and gave her wife what she wanted.

And so it was that Jane made Maura come over the city of Athens, the famous Acropolis glowing in full view, as Jane held her easily in the water.

And that was only the beginning.

~R&I~

Athens was beautiful. Sicily was also amazing, especially the food, and the helicopter tour Maura had booked – she knew Jane had always wanted to ride in a helicopter, and she had done it as a surprise for her, because she was _that_ amazing! Milan, however, was boring as hell for Jane. Yes, it was a nice city, but it was like the Mecca of the fashion industry, and Maura seemed to want to hit _all_ the shops. Worse, she wanted to buy things for Jane. Jane was used to Maura dragging her to Newbury Street shops whenever she started itching for new clothes, and she was used to Maura buying a few things for her as well. Of course she wanted her woman to look pretty, and Jane liked the way Maura looked at her when she tried on new things, so she didn't mind too much. But Milan was like Newbury Street on steroids.

When they left the zillionth shop, Jane was loaded down with bags full of clothes and shoes, most of which they would have to ship home. Maura was wearing a new necklace and inhaling the scent of her new purse, looking very excited about her purchases. Jane was just thinking about supper, and their hotel room with its private terrace. There was no pool, which was good because it definitely wasn't warm enough for that, but there was a very nice outdoor daybed that they had enjoyed a lovely time on the night before. Jane was rather enjoying having sex in so many different locations. She decided she would talk Maura into ordering their food in so they could get out to that terrace in a hurry. She didn't think Maura would complain.

As they made their way down the narrow street the last boutique had been on, they passed a little passageway to the next street, and Jane saw a man in a nice suit slumped inside.

"Uh, Maura?" she said urgently.

"Oh my gosh!" said Maura, following Jane's gaze. "Here, hold my things."

"I'm already holding your things!"

"Just, take these!" Maura passed over her new, empty purse, as well as her old, perfectly good purse that still had things in it. Then she went to take the man's pulse. "He's dead," she told Jane, eyes widening.

"For fuck's sake, can we never get a break from the bodies?"

"You need to call 112. It's the emergency number here."

"Which hand do you want me to do that with?" Jane asked, looking between the thousand things she was carrying and her wife.

"Fine, I'll do it." Maura dug into her purse and pulled out her phone, calling the authorities to report the body. Then she pulled a pair of blue latex gloves out of her purse.

"You brought latex gloves on our honeymoon?" Jane asked, raising a brow.

"Force of habit. I just take them everywhere now." Maura knelt and began examining the body.

"Maura, this isn't your body. I'm sure they have their own medical examiners here."

"I'm just curious, because there's no blood, and no ligature marks, so…" She looked carefully at his face, then the skin around his neck.

"Maybe he had a heart attack."

"Doubtful, he doesn't look any older than thirty." She paused, looking very closely at a spot on the back of his neck.

"Okay, Maura, what do you see?"

"A needle mark. He's been injected with something, right on the back of his neck."

"Maybe someone poisoned him."

"I didn't say that's what killed him."

"No, of course you didn't. But we both know that's what killed him."

Maura gave her a dirty look.

When the police arrived, they explained how they found the body, and Maura pointed out her findings to the local medical examiner. Finally, they were able to take their purchases back to their hotel and order dinner and wine to be served on their terrace. They ate a peaceful meal while watching the sun set.

"It was kind of nice to be able to walk away from a crime scene and not be responsible for anything," Jane remarked as she sipped her wine.

"Yes, but I wonder who had the outs for that man," said Maura thoughtfully.

"You mean, 'who had it out for him.'"

"Whatever. He was handsome. Wealthy, too. He was wearing an Armani suit."

"I just can't believe we're still finding bodies this far away from home. Is this just how it's gonna be, wherever we go?"

Maura chuckled. "Perhaps we just pay more attention than most people. Someone who isn't used to murder might have glimpsed the man, assumed he was sleeping off an early drinking binge, and keep walking. We always feel compelled to investigate further."

"Well, whoever the man was, I just hope he deserved it."

"Jane!" Maura said reproachfully, though she was laughing.

"What? It's not my case, so I can say things like that."

Jane looked at Maura in the dim lighting. She could just make out the glittering hazel of her eyes, and the lighting seemed to catch her honey blonde hair just right so that it glowed like a halo. She looked positively angelic.

"You are so beautiful," Jane said quietly. "You know, I'm glad we found a body today."

"You are?"

"Yes. Otherwise, I would have trouble believing I'm not dreaming. It's hard to get my head around the fact that someone as amazing as you could be my wife now."

Maura gave her a dazzling smile. "It's hard for me to believe too. But it _is_ real. We're a married couple now. I get to keep you."

Jane chuckled. "Yeah. Yeah, you get to keep me." She stood and walked around the table to Maura, stooping to kiss her. Maura eagerly smiled up at Jane, allowing the detective to take her hands and pull her from her chair. Jane led Maura slowly to the daybed on the other end of the terrace, kissing her repeatedly on the way there. When they arrived, Maura sat gingerly on the edge of the mattress, and Jane slowly undressed her, watching goosebumps form in the cool air. It was okay, though; Jane would warm her up soon enough.

Jane traveled her way down the blonde's naked body, kissing and licking her way through dips and around curves. There was nothing, in her opinion, more delicious than a naked Maura. She sucked one nipple, then another, then moved south to take an erect clit in her mouth, easily bringing her wife to orgasm. When Maura came back down from her high, she quickly did away with Jane's clothes and had her lie back on the daybed. Jane did, feeling the evening air on her skin as Maura's soft kissing rained down on her. Then Maura sat up, straddling Jane's hips, and began grinding against her, gasping. Jane took hold of the blonde's hips and strained against her, eyes glued to Maura's body as she rode her, perfect breasts jiggling enticingly. They ground against each other harder, faster, more desperately, until they both came, gasping in the darkness. Maura fell against Jane, who held her tight as they both worked to catch their breath. It wasn't long before Maura's hand was traveling the length of Jane's body again, moving down to caress her wet folds.

"You're still not done?" Jane chuckled.

"No," Maura said, smiling into Jane's shoulder. "I'm still not done."

~R&I~

After Italy, they went to Switzerland, where they stayed in a beautiful suite with a view of the Alps and Jane ate way too much chocolate. After that they were off to Berlin, where they stayed in a fancy hotel suite, reportedly once occupied by the Queen of England, that looked out on Brandenburg Gate. There was a grand piano in the living area of the suite, and Jane found herself irresistibly drawn to it, even though she didn't want to be. She walked over, when Maura was putting things away in the bedroom, and very lightly played a scale.

"I'm love to hear you play more," Maura said, suddenly appearing behind her.

Jane pulled her hand back quickly. "I don't play anymore."

"Because of Hoyt."

"I couldn't, after what he did to my hands. And then he destroyed my piano."

"But your hands have healed, and you could get a new piano if you wanted one."

"It was a family heirloom."

"I'm sorry, Jane. Couldn't it have been repaired?"

"It would have cost too much. I just had someone take it to the dump."

"Do you miss it?"

"The piano?"

"No. Yes. Any piano."

Jane shrugged. "Yeah. I guess. I haven't had much time to think about it, though. I've had work, and I've had you."

Maura smiled up at her. "I'd love to hear you play something. I never got to, before you stopped."

"I'm sure I'd be rusty now. It's been a few years since I even touched a piano."

"I'm sure it wouldn't bother me if you were." Maura continued to gaze at Jane hopefully. Jane gave her a little smile.

"Does that turn you on? A woman who can play the piano?"

"Yes. Yes, I think it would."

Jane smiled again. "I guess I can give it a whirl." She stretched her fingers and sat down on the piano bench. She tried to think of something she would still know by heart and settled on one of the songs she had enjoyed playing most as a teenager: The Beatles' "Let It Be." Maura looked a little surprised when she heard the first few bars. "What were you expecting, Bach?" Jane asked her.

"Yes, actually," said Maura. "But this will do." She sat next to Jane. "Keep going."

Jane started over and played the entire song, only fumbling once. Maura listened intently, leaning against Jane.

"So, you like having a piano-playing wife?" Jane asked when she was finished.

"Yes," said Maura softly. "I want to get you a new piano. For home."

"Nah, you don't have to. I wouldn't have much time to play it."

"Does it feel good, to play again?"

Jane looked down at the keys. "Yeah," she admitted. "Yeah, it does."

Maura slipped her arms around Jane's waist. "Then I think you should get a new one."

Jane fingered the keys lovingly. "I'll think about it. You want to hear something else?"

Maura sat up, grinning. "Yes!"

~R&I~

They were leaving an art museum the following day when they saw a crowd of people on the sidewalk, all bunching around a well-dressed man who appeared to have collapsed on the sidewalk. Maura ran to them, speaking German. They parted to let her through, and she checked the man's pulse before administering CPR. Jane could see a few people already on their phones, calling the authorities, so she just helped with crowd control until, after several minutes, Maura gave up CPR.

"He's gone," she told Jane quietly when the detective knelt beside her.

"So weird," said Jane, looking over the young, handsome man and his designer duds. "He's the second dead rich guy we've seen on our honeymoon."

"I know." Maura turned the man slightly to the side, looking at the back of his neck. She drew in her breath. "An injection mark," she told Jane, pointing. "The same as the man in Milan." She looked up at Jane, who couldn't help thinking how sexy Maura was when she was on a case. "I think there could be a connection."

When the police arrived, they explained the body they'd found in Milan with the same injection. They took down the information and promised to look into a possible connection. Jane and Maura gave their information to the detective in charge, then went back to exploring Berlin.

They were back in their hotel suite, relaxing on the couch with some after-dinner champagne, when there was a knock at the door. Jane went to answer it and found Detective Pieke, the man they'd spoken to at the crime scene earlier.

"Good evening, Detective Rizzoli," he said to her, clearly remembering that Jane didn't know German. "Dr. Isles," he added as Maura got up from the couch. "I hope you are both well."

"Yes, we're doing great," Jane answered. "How is the case?"

"I've been in contact with Interpol, checking records in other countries. This is the fifth case in the past nine days in which a wealthy young man has dropped dead in the streets. The first case was in Rome, then Milan, Vienna, Prague, now here in Berlin. Reports on the more recent victims have not come back yet, but the earlier reports suggest the victims were injected with carfentanil. We might never have found a connection without your help, but given the similarities between the victims and the manner in which they died, we now believe there is a serial killer in Europe."

"That's great!" said Jane. "I mean, it's horrible, but I'm glad you're starting to put it all together. Any clues as to what sort of person might be doing this?"

"That was what I was hoping to ask you, as you two ladies are the only people who have been at more than one of the crime scenes."

"Well, we weren't there when either man was attacked," Maura pointed out.

"True, but it's still possible you might have seen the killer. The authorities in Milan went through CCTV footage and provided this picture of the suspect. Did you happen to see anyone like this?" He showed them a picture on his tablet of a young woman in a red jacket.

"I don't remember seeing her," said Jane, squinting at the picture. "There's something on the jacket, upper left corner. A letter?"

Detective Pieke zoomed in. "Yes, the letter H."

"It's a Harvard jacket," said Maura suddenly. "I'm certain I haven't seen her. I'd remember that."

"So she could be from Boston," said Jane. She looked at Detective Pieke. "I can call my Sergeant back at home, see if he can find any leads back there."

"That would be most helpful, thank you."

When he had left, Jane turned to Maura. "I'm telling you, murder follows us!" she said.

~R&I~

After Berlin came Paris, and then Barcelona, and then the final stop on their whirlwind tour of Europe: London. Jane was sad to see it end, to leave this bubble of her and Maura just having fun all day, but she _was_ starting to miss her family and friends back home, and her dog, and her house. She was even starting to miss work a little. Talking to Frost and Korsak about the case had gotten her adrenaline going a bit.

After a search, they'd found a Harvard student who matched the description of the girl on the surveillance video: one Ashley Sheffield, age 20, whose parents had reported her missing two weeks ago. Airport records showed that she had flown from Logan to Rome, and she had not been traced sense. At home with her parents was a baby boy, the product of a summer spent touring Europe before starting college. She didn't know who his father was. Apparently there were possibilities all over the damn continent, some of whom she didn't even remember the name of. She had tried desperately to track down as many as she could on social media during her pregnancy to get them to take paternity tests, but those she found were unwilling to submit. Her parents mentioned her rage had only seemed to grow over time that no one wanted to be a father to her son; they also eventually confessed that they had given her a really hard time for having a baby without knowing who the father was. She had recently dropped out of Harvard.

Thanks to Frost's research, Interpol was now on the search for Ashley, and Jane and Maura were enjoying their honeymoon in peace. They spent a lovely day in London, huddled together in the drizzle as they walked down the sidewalks. They got to visit Buckingham Palace, and more importantly, the Royal Mews. Jane really enjoyed looking at the fancy horses.

"If we ever decide to go a different direction in life, I wouldn't mind buying a house in the country with a stable," Maura said thoughtfully later that day, when they were waiting in line to ride the London Eye. "I know you've always wanted a horse."

"I have," Jane admitted. "I don't really know how to take care of one, though."

"We could hire people for that."

Jane chuckled. "Maybe when we retire," she suggested.

They boarded the Eye and enjoyed a leisurely trip around the wheel, Maura pointing out various London landmarks as they rode. Jane thought it was fun, but not quite as much fun as the helicopter ride Maura had taken her on back in Italy.

They were getting close to the bottom again when Jane saw it. A man in a nice suit was walking on Westminster Bridge, typing on a cell phone, when a woman in a black hoodie walked up behind him and seemed to hit him on the back of the neck. Then she casually walked off, heading for the South Bank. The man rubbed the back of his neck for a moment and then began to stagger before falling to the ground. People instantly crowded around him, but Jane's eyes were searching out the girl in the black hoodie. She spotted her, leaving the bridge now, heading down the steps to the Queen's Walk and then walking casually in their direction.

"Maura, did you see that?" Jane hissed, not taking her eyes off the woman. It was clear she was trying to get lost in the crowd, and she'd certainly come to the right place for that.

Maura nodded. "That poor man! They'll never get him help in time, not if it's carfentanil."

"The woman who did it is coming this way."

Maura followed Jane's gaze. "Do you think she's planning to ride the Eye?"

"Yes, Maura, she just killed someone, so now she's going to go on a sightseeing ride. No, I think she's just joining the crowd of people, trying to make herself impossible to track. I need off this thing."

"Well, it's going to be a few minutes. There's nothing you can do but wait."

"If I lose her after all this…"

"You won't. She's just walking, she has no idea a Boston cop is about to jump off the London Eye and come after her."

"Well, she's in for a surprise."

Jane didn't remove her eyes from the woman as their capsule made its way back to the street level, but then she saw the woman turn right and start walking directly away from the Eye, and she lost her. She hurried out of the capsule as quickly as she could and forced her way through the crowd of tourists in the direction she had seen the woman go, Maura walking quickly behind her with her phone out, explaining the situation to the authorities. Finally she saw her, down at the end of the block, crossing the street. Jane began to run. When she reached the street, she ran out after her, dodging a black cab. Then the woman realized she was being chased.

"Stop, police!" Jane yelled, wishing she had her badge and hoping her American accent wouldn't tip her quarry off to the fact that she wasn't the _local_ police.

The woman just ran, down the block and across a street filled with red double-decker buses. One bus blew its horn as Jane ran in front of it, but she ignored it and kept going. She dodged a van that said _Let's Eat_ on the side, narrowly avoiding getting run over by a Volkswagen. By now the woman's hood had fallen off and Jane clearly recognized her as Ashley Sheffield, the Harvard dropout Interpol was searching for. Ashley ducked under a gate into a parking area beside a train station, and Jane ducked under after her she saw her run into the station. Jane went in after her, but for a moment, she couldn't find her among the crowds. Then she saw her duck through the entrance to an Underground station, pushing her way through the crowd on the down escalator. Jane ran after her, jumping onto the metal slide in between the escalators. Her hip bumped painfully into what appeared to be a speed bump, nearly knocking her off onto the escalator. She turned herself sideways and narrowly avoided hitting the other speed bumps as she slid down. She collided with Ashley at the bottom, knocking her down and pinning her arms behind her. Damn it, she hated not having her handcuffs with her.

"Get off me!" Ashley panted.

"No." Jane gasped for air. "I saw what you did. You killed a man on the bridge."

"You're out of your mind."

"You've been killing men all over Europe, and I doubt any of them are the father of your baby."

Ashley twisted her head, trying to look up at Jane. She seemed to be shocked into silence.

"Yes, I know who you are, Ashley Sheffield. Interpol is looking for you."

"Who _are_ you?"

"Detective Jane Rizzoli, Boston Homicide." Jane had to admit, it felt good to say that again after a few weeks off.

"Boston sent someone all the way over here to find me?"

"Nah, I'm just here on my honeymoon. Unfortunately, my new wife and I have been traveling around Europe, just like you, and we happen to have hit some of the same cities. We saw your dead guys in Milan and Berlin, and we told the authorities we thought there was a connection. Then we saw your picture from the surveillance video and recognized your Harvard jacket, so we called our colleagues back home and they figured out it was probably you. Your parents are very worried about you, Ashley."

"My parents hate me. They can't believe they raised a slut."

"You're not a slut, Ashley, you just got a little careless on your trip. I'm betting it was your first taste of freedom."

"I was eighteen. I'd never done anything without my parents' permission before."

"We all do stupid stuff when we're eighteen, Ashley. It's no reason to kill a bunch of people."

Tears spilled from Ashley's eyes. "Every one of those men told me I was the most beautiful girl they'd ever seen, that they wished I didn't have to go home to the US. But when I tried to tell them they might have a son, they all pretended not to know me. All these men – these rich, European men – they're all liars! They deserve to die!"

"The men you're killing aren't even the same men you slept with."

"No, but they're just like them. I can't find those men, and because of their behavior, my son is going to grow up not knowing who he is. He'll never know his father. But maybe I saved someone else from having to go through the same thing."

"It doesn't matter where you go in the world, Ashley. Every naïve teenager will find older men who are ready to take advantage of them." Jane looked up and saw two police officers approaching. "Because of _your_ behavior, your son is going to grow up without either of his parents." She relinquished Ashley to the authorities and called Maura to tell her where she was.

~R&I~

"So much for me not having to worry about you being hurt or killed in the line of duty on our honeymoon," Maura remarked that night, when they were lying tangled in the sheets of the big canopy bed in their hotel suite, the smell of sex in the air as they held each other tight. Maura was lightly tracing the bruises that were starting to pop up on Jane's naked body. There was an especially big one forming on her hip.

"Yeah, sorry about that," Jane said, breathless yet again, but for a more pleasant reason this time.

"It's okay. I know you couldn't let her just get away." She kissed Jane's shoulder. "Next time we're on vacation, though, I might book us our own private island. Maybe _then_ we could get some peace and quiet."

Jane chuckled, her fingers toying with a strand of Maura's hair. "I think I could go for that."


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16

Episodes 3.5: Throwing Down the Gauntlet and 3.6: Money Maker

The honeymoon was a wonderful break from the real world, but eventually, it had to end. Soon Jane and Maura were back home, doing their jobs and going about their regular lives. And now that she had no wedding plans to distract her, Maura's mind came back to something she'd been thinking about for quite some time: finding her biological mother.

She didn't have much to go on. She knew her first name was Hope, and she had gone to Harvard in the 1970s. She had apparently been an 18-year-old freshman when she met Paddy and got pregnant with Maura. That meant she would have been about 19, about to start her sophomore year, when Maura was born in August 1976. Assuming she stayed on track with her education in spite of having a baby that supposedly died at birth, she would have graduated Harvard in 1979.

The local libraries had all the Harvard yearbooks. It really wasn't that hard.

Hope's last name was Martin. An internet search revealed that she had eventually married, but retained her maiden name. She was a doctor. A _doctor_. But instead of working on dead people, she did humanitarian work all over the world. She helped identify victims of genocide. She provided free health care to poor women and children. She was recently divorced, and she and her ex-husband had an eighteen-year-old daughter named Cailin.

A sister. Maura had a sister. Well, a biological sister. It remained to be seen whether she would ever want anything to do with Maura.

Most striking of all, Hope _looked_ like Maura's mother. Maura had never had the experience of looking like her relatives growing up, and while she hardly thought that was important in the grand scheme of things – family wasn't about _looking_ like each other – it was an experience most people had and took for granted. Maura had always wondered what it would be like to have that inherent connection to someone, to look at them and feel an instant pull, a familiarity, because you could see some of yourself in their face. That feeling had drawn her both to Colin (in spite of him being dead) and to Paddy (in spite of him being the kind of person she helped put behind bars) because she could see a bit of her own facial structure on them. Simply put, they all had the same distinctive nose. But that was the main feature they had in common.

When she saw Hope's picture online, she saw a lot more than that. Maura looked like her. If Hope had raised her, people would be constantly telling her she looked like her mother. She looked at her and felt an instant kinship, even though she had never met her. She was tempted to reach out. Hope's website said she had recently moved back to Boston to open a free clinic there through her organization, MEND. It would be easy to contact her. But, what if Hope didn't want to hear from her? After all, Maura's picture had been all over the local news in recent months when it came out that she, the Chief Medical Examiner, was the biological daughter of newly arrested mob boss Paddy Doyle. The fact that Maura's then-fiancée, now wife, was the one to bring down Paddy made the story all the more sensational. It did not take a genius to figure out that Maura was Hope's long-lost daughter. And yet, she had made no effort to contact Maura. That made it pretty obvious in her eyes that Hope wanted nothing to do with her. Maura was just some mistake Hope had made when she was young.

She didn't tell Jane she was looking for Hope, or that she'd found her. She felt embarrassed to talk about it with anyone at all, even her own wife. It was embarrassing that her mother almost certainly knew she was still alive and hadn't reached out. It was better to pretend she didn't know who Hope was, she decided. She didn't need to know her biological parents. Getting to know Paddy had been a disaster; she certainly didn't need a second disaster.

The whole situation was causing her an unbelievable amount of anxiety. To distract herself, she started thinking about vacations she and Jane could take in the future. Perhaps they could get scuba certified, or go on an African safari! Every time she had an idea, she would order the necessary supplies without even consulting Jane. But as the delivery boxes piled up, Jane became suspicious. Maura's attempts to deflect were useless; she had married a detective, after all, so Jane put it all together. And she felt strongly that Maura should contact Hope.

Maura tried to refuse, but they had a murder victim they couldn't identify, and Hope knew a technique that might work. It was the same technique she had used to identify genocide victims. So Jane asked her to come in, and Hope helped them to get an ID. She was a lovely person, warm and pleasant, everything Maura had dreamed her birth mother would be. Maura felt an instant connection. This was someone she had been waiting her whole life to meet!

Except.

Hope brought up having had a baby that died at birth. It was clear she still believed it. It appeared to have been the most traumatic event of her life, the thing that had shaped the path her life had taken from then on. But it wasn't the baby's death that seemed to traumatize her the most; it was the fact that she had had the baby at all. She said the baby's father turned out to be evil, and perhaps it was for the best that she didn't survive. The words felt like a knife in Maura's heart, and she realized she could never tell Hope that she _was_ that evil baby. Hope seemed to like her, but only because she didn't know who Maura really was.

Of course Jane disagreed. She couldn't imagine Hope being anything but happy to learn that Maura was her daughter, but she was biased. She was in love with Maura; her brain flooded with dopamine and oxytocin at the mere thought of her. Hope's brain might have been flooded with similar chemicals when she first held Maura, but they were long gone now.

The situation made Maura quite emotional. Hope liked her, and yet, Maura felt rejected by her. She started crying over every little thing. When Hope called asking Maura if she wanted to do dinner sometime, Maura stupidly invited Hope to her house. She even told her it was okay to bring Cailin. Now she would be spending time with _two_ people who didn't know they were related to her.

Cailin, as it turned out, did not look anything like Maura, and she clearly had no interest in being at Maura's house, or in Boston, or in the entire United States. After an otherwise pleasant dinner, she stormed out, and Hope went after her. The following day, Hope came by to apologize for Cailin's behavior. She was in kidney failure, she said, and they hadn't been able to find a donor for her. That was when Maura got an idea: perhaps Hope and Cailin would never know she was related to them, but she could still do something to help them. She got Cailin's DNA off of a dessert fork and tested it. She was a match. She could donate a kidney to Cailin, anonymously of course so Cailin wouldn't have to feel beholden to Maura.

Jane, however, was dead set against it. "No, Maura!" she insisted. "I don't want you going through that. You don't owe her anything."

"I know, but I want to do this. I only need one kidney."

Jane smiled sadly at her wife. "You're incredible."

Maura shrugged. "I'm sure you'd do the same for your brothers."

"Maybe, if they were nice. I'd definitely do it for you though."

Maura smiled.

"But, how would this surgery affect you?" Jane asked. "Can you do normal stuff with just one kidney? Will you be as healthy as you were before?"

"In most ways, my health shouldn't be affected in the long term. The remaining kidney grows larger so it can do the work of two, which is usually sufficient to keep the donor as healthy as before, although there is a greater risk of high blood pressure. The larger kidney is more vulnerable to damage, which means kidney donors should avoid certain activities, such as contact sports, but most activities are still safe. I'll still be able to run, swim, do yoga. I can still do my boxing class since we don't actually hit each other."

"Will you be able to have a baby?"

Maura looked at her in surprise. "It would be safe for me to get pregnant as early as six months after the surgery. I would need to be monitored more carefully for complications."

Jane grimaced. "I don't know if I want that to happen. I don't want you to have complications."

Maura was torn between feeling touched that Jane was thinking about this and annoyed that she was being so presumptive. She decided to go with touched. "Jane, I…I guess I wasn't thinking about that because we really haven't discussed when and how we should have a baby. Perhaps it's time to discuss it?"

Jane looked down shyly. "I guess I figured we would start making plans not too long after the wedding. But…I dunno. I dunno if I'm ready."

"I don't know if it's possible to ever be completely ready for motherhood." Maura smiled. "We never decided that I would be the one to get pregnant."

Jane looked surprised. "I guess I always thought it would be you because you don't tackle bad guys at work. Plus you're all about healthy eating."

"I'd love to see you pregnant."

Jane looked at her, and Maura thought she saw a little blush. "You would?"

"Yes, I would. I think I would enjoy that very much."

Jane bit her lip. "I think I'd enjoy having a kid who looks as much like you as you look like Hope."

"I'd love to have a child who takes after you as well. Of course adoption is also a perfectly valid way to have children."

"Well, we can't do all three of those things. We're going to have to pick."

"I don't think that's going to happen right here in my lab. But whatever we do, I still want to give my kidney to Cailin. This is something I want to do. So, we're going to have to work around that."

Jane sighed heavily, but she looked resigned.

~R&I~

It all turned out to be a pointless thing to even discuss, because Cailin didn't want Maura's kidney. She knew right away that Maura was the anonymous donor, because she had already figured out that Maura was the "dead baby" her mother had been mourning all these years. And she did _not_ want a sister. She came over one evening while Jane was in the shower, so Maura had to face her alone, and then Hope as well when she came looking for Cailin. She finally told Hope the truth, that she was her daughter, and Hope's reaction was even worse than Maura had feared it would be.

Jane was shocked when she came downstairs in a towel, mumbling something about a bedtime snack, and found Maura in tears on the couch. "What happened?" she demanded, glancing around as if expecting to see someone lurking in the shadows.

"Cailin and Hope were here," Maura sobbed. "Cailin knows who I am, and I told Hope too, and she didn't _believe_ me."

Jane sat down on the couch with Maura. "I'm sure she was just surprised. She thought her baby died at birth."

"She asked what I _wanted_ from her."

"Okay, that's a little harsh, but Cailin believes you, right? She'll convince Hope."

Maura shook her head. "Cailin hates me. She said she didn't even want my kidney. She said she doesn't want any part of me living inside of her." Maura began crying harder, and Jane handed her a tissue before pulling her close.

"Cailin is a moron," Jane said decisively.

"She's going to die if she doesn't get my kidney."

"That's not necessarily true. I'm sure she's on a waiting list, and she doesn't look like she's on her deathbed yet. And if she doesn't want your kidney, you can't make her take it. It's her loss. You get to keep your kidney."

Maura sniffled. "I guess there's nothing to stop me from getting pregnant now."

Jane pulled back and looked at her, stroking her hair. "Do you want to get pregnant."

"I think I might. Getting to know my biological parents has been a failure. Maybe it would be nice to have a biological child." She made a face. "Or maybe it's better if I have no one in my life at all who is genetically related to me."

Jane smiled gently. "I think your biological child will be perfect. But I don't want to decide anything right this second."

Maura nodded. "We can think it over in the weeks to come. But…now that we're married…I think it _is_ time for this conversation."

"I think so too." Jane kissed Maura. "You're gonna be the most amazing mom in the whole world."

Maura looked down. "I don't know about that. But I think you will be."

"We're both gonna be great, because everything we do together is great." She pulled Maura close again and rubbed her back. "I can't wait to see what our kids will be like."

For the first time since Cailin and Hope's unexpected visit, Maura smiled.


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17

Episode 3.7: Crazy For You

Jane stared into the bathroom mirror, the weight of the day's events crashing down on her. First there had been Lydia, her father's ex-fiancée who was now pregnant with either his child or Tommy's. Maura had called a family meeting so they could tell Angela what was going on, but Jane had never made it to the meeting. She had been kidnapped by Dominick, a man she barely knew who had somehow convinced himself that she was his wife. After he injected her with some sort of drug, she lost consciousness and came to in a bed resembling the one she shared with Maura. She was chained, spread-eagled, on the bed, wearing clothes that were not her own, and Dominick was snuggled up to her. It terrified Jane to even think about what he might have done to her while she was undressed, but at the time she had been mainly focused on survival, getting out. Then she realized he had a webcam in the room so he could watch her from his laptop when he wasn't there. She found this encouraging, because she knew Frost would find it, and then find her. She didn't realize Maura would also be watching.

After her rescue, Jane had to go to the ER for a full exam, which included checking for signs of rape. Miraculously, there was nothing, and she was even wearing the same underwear she'd left the house in. She still felt violated, but she didn't want Maura to know that. Poor Maura was an absolute wreck. It had been very hard for her to see Jane like that, and she was so worried that Jane felt she had to make jokes and shrug the whole thing off as no big deal just to make her wife feel better.

But now, as she was brushing her teeth and getting ready for bed, she found herself flashing back, particularly to that moment when Dominick had kissed her right on the lips while she struggled to hide her disgust. She began splashing water from the sink onto her lips, trying to wash all traces of him off, but she could still feel him there. A sob escaped as she became more frantic.

"Jane?"

She looked up to see Maura standing in the doorway in her pajamas, watching her in concern.

"I'm sorry, Maura," Jane said, her face crumpling. She couldn't do it anymore. She couldn't keep pretending not to be bothered.

"For what?" Maura asked gently.

"That some creep kissed your wife. You're the only one who's supposed to kiss me. You're the only one I ever wanted to, ever again."

"I know, Jane. It's not your fault."

Jane nodded miserably. "I know it's not. But…I still feel disgusting."

Maura pulled her into a tight hug. "Come to bed. You need your rest."

Jane shuddered. "I'll never be able to sleep. I'll probably keep you awake."

"You will take the Xanax the doctor prescribed and lie down with me and get some rest."

Jane didn't have any fight left in her, so she took the Xanax and curled up in bed. Maura lay down beside her and reached out her arms. Jane supposed it was too late to go back to pretending the worst part of the ordeal had been the outfit, so she slid readily into Maura's arms, resting her head on the blonde's chest. Maura held her tight, stroking her curls.

"He didn't rape me," Jane said after a while, when she could feel her body starting to relax a little. "But I still feel so…I mean, he took off my clothes. How do I know he didn't touch me? It's…it's kind of hard to imagine he didn't."

"There's really no way to know," Maura admitted. "It might be best not to let yourself imagine, since you'll never know for sure."

"I guess. I just feel so _violated_."

Maura hugged her tighter. "Of course you do. You were sexually assaulted."

"No I wasn't—"

"Yes, you were. A man drugged you, removed your clothing, chained you to a bed, and forcibly touched and kissed you. That is sexual assault." Jane could feel Maura's muscles tense. "It angers me very much that someone did that to the woman I love."

"I know, it makes me feel like…like the sanctity of our marriage was violated, or something."

"I don't feel like that. I'm just sad that he hurt you, and scared of what he could have done to you if Korsak, Frost, and Frankie hadn't gotten there in time. He badly hurt the last woman he was obsessed with."

"From what they told me, they would never have found me in time without your help."

"I did what I could. I wanted to go with them to rescue you, especially since I thought at first he was holding you in our home, but they wouldn't let me come. So I stayed in the BRIC by myself and watched you on the screen."

"I'm so sorry you had to see that."

"It was really hard to watch what was happening and feel so helpless, but at least I knew…I knew things weren't worse than they were."

"Yeah." Jane closed her eyes, listening to Maura's breathing. "Why does this happen to me so much?"

"What do you mean?"

"He would have raped me if you guys hadn't found me in time. I was kind of surprised he hadn't already."

Maura hugged her tighter. "Perhaps his fantasy required you to be awake. I'm thankful for that much, because you're right, that's most likely where things were heading."

"And you would have had to see it."

"We don't need to think about that. It didn't happen."

"But it's the _fourth time_ that nearly happened to me."

"The fourth time?"

"Yes, the other three times just happened to all be Hoyt. He wanted to rape me. Three times, he got close. The third time he would have raped you first."

"Yes. But then you killed him."

"Yeah, so now Dominick comes after me, and he wants to rape me too. Why? Am I doing something to invite this?"

"Of course not. No one is ever _asking_ to be sexually assaulted. I'm sorry it keeps happening to you, Jane, but it's _not_ something you're inviting. It isn't your fault in any way."

"So how do I make it stop?"

"I wish there was a way to make sure it would never happen again," Maura said, her voice breaking. "You've certainly experienced more than your share of violence. But since you didn't do anything to cause it, there's really nothing certain you can do to prevent it. All we can do is hope this was the last time."

"That's not very comforting."

"I know. I'm sorry."

Jane squeezed her eyes shut. "Are you sure you still want me? Is this woman men keep grabbing and trying to make their own really attractive to you?"

"Was I any less attractive to you after Hoyt held me down and cut me?"

There was a pause. "No. Not at all."

"If I were kidnapped? Sexually assaulted?"

"None of that would change how I feel about you."

"There's your answer. I love you, Jane. Everywhere you go, you're the most beautiful woman in the room, but I'm always the one you're looking at. It feels like such an honor. Even now, when you've just endured such a horrible trauma, I feel honored that it's my shoulder you want to cry on. I have _real_ wedding pictures with you in them. Being with you means everything to me, and no one is going to take that away from us."

Jane smiled a little in spite of everything. "When I go someplace with you, I am _not_ the most beautiful woman in the room."

"Well just have to agree to disagree on that."

Jane chuckled. The argument over which of them qualified as the most beautiful woman in the world had been ongoing as long as they'd been together, and they both knew no one was ever going to win the argument. She finally let her eyes close more peacefully, breathing in the calm that was Maura until she fell asleep.

~R&I~

When she woke the following morning, she was alone. She sat up in bed with a start, looking around to confirm that it really was her bedroom. The room was filled with the hodgepodge of expensive antiques Maura liked, and the only wedding pictures in the room showed two happy brides on a rooftop in Greece. Outside the windows, she heard the familiar morning sounds of their neighborhood. As she rubbed her eyes, wondering where Maura was, she heard footsteps on the staircase, and the beautiful blonde walked into the master bedroom carrying a breakfast tray.

"I was hoping to get back before you woke up," Maura said nervously, putting the tray down in front of Jane. Two croissants, a big bowl of fruit, two cups of steaming coffee. "How are you feeling this morning?"

"Still kinda gross, but it's good to be waking up in our bed. Our real bed."

"I'm sure it is." Maura sat down next to Jane and kissed her cheek. "I don't know what I would have done if they hadn't gotten you back last night. I suppose I would have lived in the BRIC until they found you."

"You couldn't have."

"I think I could do just about anything for the woman I love." Maura looked at her steadily, and Jane knew she meant it.

"Yeah, I know the feeling." Jane sipped her coffee.

Maura kissed Jane's cheek again, then made a move for her lips. Jane turned away reflexively and immediately saw the hurt in Maura's eyes.

"I'm sorry," Jane said. "It's not you, it's just…I don't want to give you his germs."

"I'm sure you don't have his germs on your lips anymore."

Jane sighed. "I feel contaminated. I feel like I don't deserve to kiss you."

"Jane, you're not contaminated. You're just struggling with a traumatic event. But if you don't feel like kissing right now, I won't push you." She snuggled up to Jane and grabbed a grape, popping it into her mouth. "Eat your breakfast."

Jane picked up her own grape. "So what happened at the family meeting?"

"Not much happened. Frankie and I were too scared to say anything, so we decided to wait until you got there, and I called to see what was taking you so long, but it went straight to voicemail. I called Frost, and he said you'd left to go to the meeting some time ago, so that was when we knew something was wrong. So we had to call the meeting off."

"In other words, my mother still has no idea that either she's about to become a grandma or her ex-husband is about to be a daddy again."

"She does not."

Jane sighed, picking at a croissant. "Maybe it's for the best. We don't know who the father of the baby is, and until we find out, what is there to tell her?"

"We have to tell her something sooner or later. Whoever the father is, this baby is going to have an impact on this family."

"Yeah. But she doesn't need to know right now. I think it's gonna hurt." She shuddered. "Even Tommy doesn't know yet. No one's bothered to call him, and he's been out of town."

"I think she's more concerned about you at the moment," Maura agreed. She bit into her croissant and chewed thoughtfully. "We need to settle on a sperm donor."

"Wow, okay."

"What? Talking about babies made me think of it." She leaned her head against Jane. "We don't know if you're getting a niece or nephew or brother or sister, but we can have our own son or daughter."

"Yeah, it's just weird to talk about so soon after…"

"I understand. We don't have to talk about it now."

Jane looked down at the steam rising from her coffee for a moment. "Nah, I want to. That fucked-up bastard is not going to control how I live my life with the person I'm _actually_ married to." Thinking about her own words, she put her hand on Maura's beautiful face and kissed her. The blonde yielded readily, her lips easily molding to Jane's. "He's not gonna stop me from doing that either," Jane said quietly when they had finished.

Maura grinned. "I'll get my laptop."

~R&I~

By lunchtime, they had the sperm donor list narrowed down to two possibilities, and Maura, at least, was feeling much perkier with plans for their future baby dancing around in her head. Jane had at least pulled herself together on the outside and was back to cracking jokes, letting Maura see that everything was going to be just fine. Jane Rizzoli was not someone you could keep down.

But when she closed her eyes, she still saw Dominick right in her face, and sometimes he turned into Hoyt.


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18

Episodes 3.11: Melt My Heart to Stone and 3.12: Class Action Satisfaction

In early March, they finally got some slightly warm weather in Boston. Maura decided to open the doors to the loading dock for a little while as she tidied up while waiting for test results. It was nice to get some fresh air in the morgue, and none of the windows opened, so this was the only way. They were working on a nasty serial killer case, one she knew was greatly upsetting Jane as the ritualistic nature reminded her of Hoyt. Prostitutes were being murdered, their arms cut off, then their bodies encased in plaster to turn them into Venus de Milo statues. The "statues" were left in public places that were frequented by children.

Meanwhile, Lydia was near her due date and still didn't know if the baby was Frank's or Tommy's, and Maura had recently undergone her second attempt at artificial insemination. She didn't know yet if it had worked.

She was peacefully tidying up by herself when she heard someone come in behind her. She jumped and turned around, startled. It was Dennis Rockmond, the writer and artist whose life she had saved a few months earlier. She'd seen him only twice since, once when he came to give her a gift to thank her for saving his life (he'd also invited her to dinner, but she had declined, showing him her engagement ring) and again just the day before, when he dropped by to thank her again and give her a copy of his new book. She had thought he seemed like a very nice man, someone whose dinner offer she would undoubtedly have accepted in her single years, but she found it a bit unnerving that he had just walked into the morgue. No one had ever done that before.

"I am so sorry," he said. "It's probably not okay that I came in through the back."

Maura composed herself. "Well, since you did…why did you?"

He looked at her. "It's my birthday."

"Happy birthday," Maura said awkwardly.

"I needed to come here today. I wanted to relive the highest and lowest parts of my year." He looked around the autopsy room, where three dead women, all killed by the same hand, lay out on the tables. He didn't even seem to register that, however. "Wow," he said quietly. "This is where they wheeled me in."

Maura nodded. "You'd been declared dead." She was never going to live down the fact that she had checked his erect penis for a pulse, right in front of a horrified Jane. They hadn't shared that detail with Dennis.

"If it weren't for you, I'd be in the ground," Dennis said. "I'd give anything to celebrate my birthday with you."

"Dennis, I'm married. Happily."

"It doesn't have to be like that, I just…you brought me back to life."

"And now you're free to find someone to love, but it needs to be someone who isn't already married."

"Can't we just celebrate together as friends?"

Maura shook her head, concerned by his persistence. "I have plans with my wife. I'm sure you can find someone to enjoy your birthday with. Please go back out the way you came."

She turned to her computer, hoping he would get the message that the conversation was over. And then suddenly he was right behind her, and he had a knife at her throat.

"You will come with me, and you will not make a sound, or I will cut your throat," he hissed.

Maura struggled to catch her breath. She looked around, but there was no one nearby. She didn't see what she could do besides go with him, but what then? Would Jane find her? She couldn't stand the thought of making Jane a widow already. She'd be heartbroken.

But the best chance she had of preventing that was to cooperate, for now. She walked willingly with Dennis to the door. He moved the knife so it was pointed at her back to make it less obvious and walked her to his car.

"I'm going to honor you, Maura," he whispered. "I'm going to make you my next creation."

Tears ran down her face. "My wife is a detective."

"She's not a very good one. She has no idea I'm the one who's been making all those statues."

"She'll figure it out," Maura said, but her voice came out as a whisper. "She won't let you kill me."

"You'll be dead before she knows what's happening. And she'll never know it was me." He popped the trunk. "Get in."

Maura had no choice but to get in the trunk and let him bind her hands. As she rode in the darkness, she told herself Jane would realize soon that something had happened to her, and she would find her. She would put it together. But she kept thinking about the three dead women and how few leads they had so far. None of it pointed to Dennis. But maybe somebody saw something? Maybe they saw her getting into the trunk of his car and called for help, reported his license plate? Or maybe Jane was on the verge of putting it all together right now. She was the best detective Maura knew. She had every reason to stay hopeful.

She couldn't stop thinking about Jane and what it would do to her if Maura were murdered. Poor Jane was already going through so much, what with Lydia and everything, and while she tried not to let on, Maura knew she was still having a hard time with what Dominick had done, and almost done, to her. It might destroy her to lose her wife, especially now, while they were in the middle of trying for a baby. Maura couldn't let it happen. If she couldn't fight, then she would stall. She would give Jane more time to figure out where she was.

He walked her up to his apartment at knifepoint and showed her his studio, where he had turned the other women into statues. He told her again that he was going to honor her.

"If I'm going to be honored," Maura said, struggling to keep her voice steady, "then I deserve to know why."

He looked at her appraisingly. "You're right," he said. And then he began to tell his story.

It turned out that he had a lot to talk about, and no one had ever listened before. By asking the right questions and showing sympathy, Maura was able to keep him talking for over an hour and eventually got him to untie her hands, though he never put down the knife he was pointing at her, and she was afraid to try out any of the self-defense moves Jane had taught her as long as he was holding it. But the important thing was that she was still completely unharmed when Jane burst into the apartment with Frost and Korsak. Unfortunately, Dennis grabbed Maura and put the knife back to her throat as soon as they arrived. He began pulling her towards the empty elevator shaft while a terrified Jane struggled to talk him down.

It was when he was rambling about needing mothers to see how important it was to treat their kids right that Maura suddenly thought of something that might stop him from killing her.

"I might be pregnant," she said softly.

There was a pause. "What?" Dennis asked her.

"I might be pregnant. Jane and I have been trying to have a baby through artificial insemination. I was just inseminated two weeks ago, so I might be pregnant now."

Her voice was trembling, but he was starting to loosen his grip. "Will you take your son to do all the things my mother never did with me?"

"Yes, of course."

For one agonizing moment, he was silent. Then he pushed Maura forwards, right into Jane's arms, as he stepped backwards and fell down the elevator shaft.

"Oh, Maura. Maura, are you okay?" Jane asked, holding her close.

"I'm okay," Maura promised tearfully.

Jane pulled away and looked down the elevator shaft, still holding Maura's hands. "He's dead."

Maura turned to look, needing to confirm for herself that the man who had terrorized her was gone. He was lying at the bottom of the shaft, his neck turned at an angle no one could possibly survive. "I should have known," she said to Jane. "He was a sculptor, he gave me that hand. He said at the time that he wanted to sculpt me. I never imagined he meant…"

"Maura, you couldn't have known. He fooled people in three jurisdictions. I'm a homicide detective, and I didn't figure it out either, not until after he'd already taken you. I never imagined…he killed drug-addicted prostitutes. I never thought my own wife was in danger."

Maura nodded, closing her eyes as if to shut out the terror of the past hour. "You saved me again."

"I always will," Jane promised, pulling her back into a tight hug and kissing her. "Let's get you home."

~R&I~

Later that night, Maura was trying to relax on her couch, although it was difficult to calm down after an experience like that. Jane was doing her best to help, sitting beside her and massaging her thighs while Angela knitted a blanket for Lydia's new baby (apparently she had been in labor when Jane came to save Maura). They were both telling stories to make Maura smile when the doorbell rang. Jane went to see who it was, and came back with a newborn baby in her arms.

"It's Lydia's baby!" she said, unable to keep the sappy smile off her face. "It's a baby boy."

Maura threw back her blanket and stood up. "She just left him here?"

"Yeah, nobody else was out there, it was just him in his carseat thingie. Maybe she doesn't want him?"

"We'll have to talk to her," said Maura thoughtfully.

"I'm not talking to her, she abandoned her baby."

"Well, we can't establish him as an abandoned baby unless we find out that she doesn't want him back. She didn't leave him with strangers. She left him with you, and you're either his sister or his aunt. That makes me either his sister-in-law or his aunt, and Angela might be his grandmother. We're his family."

"Yes well, usually when you want family to babysit, you say something to them instead of just leaving the baby alone on the doorstep." Jane looked down at the baby and smiled again. Maura noticed that she was reflexively rocking him a little. Oh, she was going to be such an amazing mother!

Maura peered closely at the baby's face, her finger lightly tracing a soft little cheek. "But legally, can we declare him abandoned in this situation? That was how I was adopted. Apparently it wasn't the truth, but my mother told her lawyer I had been abandoned at her house and that she didn't know who the parents were. It was never contested because Paddy had asked her to say that, and Hope thought I was dead. So my parents were able to legally adopt me."

Jane looked at her, and Maura knew she was catching on. She knew it might be a long shot, but they were trying to have a baby, and here was one, already in their house.

"I'd have to look into it," said Jane. "It's not really my area of expertise, but child abandonment laws are complicated. Since he is with family, it probably doesn't count."

"Let me hold him," Angela demanded, having put down the blanket she was knitting. "He might be my first grandchild." Jane handed the baby over, and Angela lit up instantly as she held him.

Maura felt a brief pang of jealousy, which she quickly pushed away. _She_ had expected to give Angela her first grandchild.

"I think he looks like Tommy," Angela said. "And Tommy got his looks from me, not Frank. I think he's Tommy's baby, which means he _is_ my grandson."

"Well, since he's in our care, I can run a paternity test," Maura offered. "I just need a cheek swab from Tommy, as well as one from the baby. I have some swabs in my medical bag."

"I'm gonna call Tommy," Jane said. "If he'd been at the hospital being a dad, maybe Lydia wouldn't have left so soon. So he needs to get over here and be a dad, at least until we find out if it _is_ his kid."

"Does Tommy know how to care for a baby?" Maura inquired.

"Not at all, but we're gonna teach him."

Maura smiled. "I'm going to go to the store for supplies. We're going to need formula, bottles, diapers, extra clothes, burp cloths…"

"Okay, just enough to get us through the night. We don't need to set up a nursery."

Maura headed out the door after gathering her things, feeling excited. It wasn't until she was almost to the store that she suddenly thought again of her ordeal with Dennis just a few hours earlier. It was amazing how the arrival of the new baby had taken her mind off that so quickly. Even now that she'd remembered, she was still focused on that squirming little one at home and the things she needed to get for him.

She might have actually bought enough to fill a nursery if she hadn't been worried about the baby getting hungry before she got back. After all, she had no idea when he had last eaten. It really _was_ irresponsible of Lydia to just leave him on the doorstep like that, with no instructions or anything. They didn't even know what his name was. She really hoped Tommy would sue for custody if he turned out to be the father, and if Frank was the father…well, he certainly didn't seem interested in the baby. If neither biological parent wanted him, it would make sense for him to be adopted by someone in the family, and Jane and Maura would be the most ideal candidates, as they were a married couple that was already planning on having a baby. She knew she couldn't let herself be sold on the idea now, with so much uncertainty surrounding the situation, but it was something she was keeping in the back of her mind.

By the time she got home, Tommy was there, and he was just as bewildered by Lydia's actions as everyone else. They worked out a feeding schedule so everyone would have the chance to get a little sleep. Angela would go first, since she had to work the early shift at the café in the morning, and she would show Tommy how it was done. Then Maura would take a shift, and when she went back to bed she would wake Jane and send her in, then Tommy would take the final shift of the night, having hopefully learned the basics of caring for a newborn by that time.

By morning, they were all exhausted, but Maura still found her heart melting at the sight of Jane holding the baby.

"In elephant herds, the females take care of the babies," Maura pointed out. "Sisters, aunts."

"I wish we were elephants so we could keep him," Jane crooned, smiling down at the baby in her arms.

Maura's heart leapt. So if he did become available for adoption, Jane would say yes!

But first, she had to do a paternity test. She took cheek swabs from Tommy and the baby, and then Jane got a text about a suspicious death at the Division One Café. They had planned on taking the day off so Maura could rest up after her ordeal, but Jane was worried about her mom, so they decided to go in and work the case. Maura turned the swabs in to the crime lab and paid for them to run a paternity test for her (she could hardly do it with taxpayer money).

All day long, all she could think about was the baby. When she got off work that evening, she was in a glum mood.

"Why do you look so sad?" Jane asked her on the way home.

"I'm not sad so much as disappointed."

"Okay, why do you look so disappointed?"

Maura heaved a sigh. "I got my period today. I'm still not pregnant."

"Oh. Well, we haven't been trying that long. It'll happen, honey. I know it's gonna happen."

"I also got the paternity test results. It's Tommy's baby."

"Oh, well that's great news. I'd rather have a nephew than a new baby brother at my age. I know Tommy and Lydia are a little inept, but they have the family to guide them. I think they'll learn to be good parents."

"Yes." Maura sighed again.

"You were hoping it really would work out so that we could keep the baby, weren't you?"

"I'll admit it, I was. But…weren't you?"

Jane smiled as she pulled into the garage. "Yeah. I kinda was."

"But now we don't have that baby anymore, and we don't have our own on the way either."

"I know." Jane leaned over and kissed her tenderly. "But we still get to be aunts, and that's going to be a lot of fun."

"Yes. It is," Maura agreed, smiling a little. "I never thought I'd be an aunt."

"But now you are. And you're going to be a mother someday too, but until then…aren't we happy already, just the two of us?"

Maura's smile grew. "We are. I'm very happy with you."

"So let's enjoy what we've got for now, and we'll keep trying, and it'll happen when it's time." She ran her fingers lovingly through Maura's hair, and the blonde shivered pleasantly at the tingly feeling that produced. "Everything will work out perfectly," Jane promised. "I don't know anyone who deserves it more than you do."


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 19

In between Episodes 3.12: Love the Way You Lie and 3.13: Virtual Love

It was the end of March, and Jane was feeling pretty happy with her life. There was no baby on the way, but she was pretty excited about her new baby nephew, T.J. Tommy and Lydia had worked out a joint custody agreement, so the Rizzoli family would be spending plenty of time with its newest member.

Meanwhile, Jane had survived Boston Homicide's first-ever Week of Health, a project spearheaded by one Dr. Maura Isles, who was concerned about the possibility of her wife not growing ridiculously old with her. She'd also learned through very unfortunate circumstances that her own mother had been seeing Cavanaugh on the sly, and before she had time to process that, he broke up with her. Maybe he was concerned about the ethics of dating the mother of one of his employees, but Korsak thought it was because of him losing his wife and only child in a fire years ago. He hadn't dated since, Korsak said. Jane wasn't sure what to think about the fact that her mother had been the one to lure him back into the dating world. All she knew was that she never wanted to see him sitting on her living room couch in his underwear again.

It was almost a relief to get a new case after that fiasco so she could determinedly discuss work, and only work, if she ran into Cavanaugh. She and Maura were headed to an apartment building in a blue-collar neighborhood, where they found a woman with flaming red hair sprawled on the floor of her trashed living room, dead of a gunshot wound. Her neighbor, who had called the police, was pretty worked up about it.

"I can't believe how long it takes for the police to show up in this town!" she ranted when Jane introduced herself. Maura was already examining the body. "She could be alive if the cops had come as soon as I called! I'd have taken him out myself if I didn't have Holly!"

"Who is Holly?" Jane asked patiently.

"Her daughter, she's just four. Martina brought Holly here to get away from her asshole husband who used to beat on them both. He's been looking for Holly, wants the kid 'cause she's some kind of genius and he thinks he can get her famous and she'll make him rich. Martina don't want that, she just wants Holly to be a kid. She brought her to Boston a year ago and got her a scholarship to this fancy preschool for gifted kids, but she's always afraid this bastard is gonna find her. Today she brought Holly home from school and told me she thinks he found her, she thinks he followed her home, I had to take Holly and I couldn't open the door no matter what. So I took her, got her to be real quiet, and I heard that bastard come in and try to break her door down. So I called the cops, and you know how long it took them to show up? Fifteen minutes! By then he'd done shot her and ran off when he couldn't find Holly. He didn't come to my door, thank the Lord."

"So you know who did this?" Jane asked.

"Yes, I know exactly who did this, and that's what I told the 911 operator when Martina was still alive. If the police would have got their asses over here when I called—"

"Do you have his name?"

"His name? Yes, I gave them his name! Ted Brackman! He's the man who's been terrorizing my friend Martina, and when she tried to get a restraining order in her old town, they wouldn't give it to her! He broke that baby girl's arm when she was two, and they believed his story instead of hers. She always said he was going to hunt her down and kill her, and she was right."

"I'm very sorry to hear that – what was your name again?"

"Tammy."

"Tammy, is Holly still in your apartment? Is she okay?"

"She's fine other than being scared to death. Sweetest kid you'll ever meet. I don't know how to tell her that her momma's gone."

"I can tell her," said Jane softly. "I give people bad news all the time. Can I talk to her now?"

Tammy led Jane into her apartment, one floor down and across the hall from Martina's. They were just little one-bedroom apartments, not exactly family homes. Holly was sitting in front of the TV in Tammy's bedroom, a little girl with bright red curls like her mother's, big hazel eyes, and chubby freckled cheeks that were streaked with tears. She was trembling, cradling a doll in her arms. Jane noticed that the doll was wearing a little lab coat.

"Hi, are you Holly?" said Jane.

The little girl looked up and nodded.

"I'm Jane, I'm a police detective. Can I talk to you?" Jane knelt in front of the girl. She'd told countless people that their family members were dead, but she'd never had to tell a kid this young. This was going to be hard.

"My daddy was here," sniffled Holly. "I heard a gunshot. Did he shoot Momma?"

Jane nodded, grimacing. "Yeah, baby, I'm afraid he did."

Holly's little bottom lip poked out. "Did she die?"

"I'm sorry, sweetie," said Jane, on the verge of tears herself. "She died."

Holly burst into tears. "I knew it!" she wailed. She began sobbing like her heart was broken to pieces, and Jane instinctively gathered the child in her arms, holding her close while little arms wrapped around her neck, the doll still clutched in one hand. She realized there was nothing she could possibly say to comfort the little girl, so she just held her tightly and let her cry her eyes out.

Frost came into the room after a few minutes, holding his notepad. He looked at Jane questioningly, and she gave him a look that made it clear she was not planning on putting the kid down anytime soon.

"We're gonna have to put her in protective custody until we find the dad," he muttered in Jane's ear.

"I can take her to my house," Jane said without hesitation.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, it's no problem. She needs protective custody. I'm a cop. I can protect her."

Frost nodded. "I'll talk to Social Services and see what we can work out. Should I send Maura to talk to you?"

"Yeah, might be for the best." Holly seemed to be running out of tears for the time being, or maybe just running out of energy for crying. Jane smoothed her curls out of her face and wiped her tears away. "Listen, Holly," she said. "We're going to find your dad, I promise. We won't let him hurt you. We're gonna take care of you. We have people who can figure out who you'll go to live with, but for now, we just need to keep you safe. Since I'm the police, I can protect you from your dad, okay? I can take you to stay with me."

"Okay," said Holly uncertainly. "Can I bring my things?"

"Sure honey, we can pack some of your things. You can bring your doll if you want. What's her name?"

"Marie," Holly said. "Marie Curie."

"Marie Curie was one of my idols growing up," said Maura, entering the room. "You must be Holly. I'm Maura, Jane's wife. Detective Frost said you might come to stay with us for a few days?" Maura's eyes were shining. Jane knew she'd say yes, but she was even more excited than she had anticipated.

Holly nodded. "Jane said I can bring my Marie Curie doll."

"Of course you can!" said Maura. "What else do you want to bring? I can go get your things."

"My new coloring book and crayons," Holly suggested. Her voice was still strained with tears, but she was trying her best to be brave. "I left it in Momma's car."

"Okay, I'll find it," said Maura. She looked at Jane. "I released the…" She cleared her throat. "I can take her home now, if it's okay."

"Yeah, sure. I'll um, I'll have Frost take care of things here. I'll come with you." Jane looked at Holly. "I'm gonna need to ask you some questions later about your Momma and Daddy, but right now I think you need some rest. We're gonna take you to our house for now, okay? You'll be safe there."

"Okay," said Holly, fresh tears coming. "I wish my Momma could be safe too."

"I know, baby," said Jane, her voice breaking. When she found Ted Brackman, she thought she might kill him with her bare hands. "But you know what? I think your Momma's watching over you right now, and she just wants you to be safe."

Holly nodded thoughtfully. "She told me if anything happened to her, she would send angels to look after me."

Jane smiled. What else were you supposed to tell your four-year-old when you knew her dad was going to come for you sooner or later? "That's the thing about moms. They always find a way to take care of you, even when they're not around."

~R&I~

After Maura had gotten together a few of Holly's things and they had transferred her booster seat to Jane's car, along with her giant human anatomy coloring book (Maura's eyes had nearly popped out of her head when she saw it), they headed home with Holly and Marie Curie in the backseat.

"What floor is your apartment on?" Holly asked tremulously as she looked up at the towering brick house.

"We don't have an apartment," said Maura. "We have the whole house."

"All that is a house?" Holly asked, her eyes widening.

"Yeah, come check it out," said Jane, opening the front door. Holly stepped inside and looked at the sweeping staircase.

"It's a palace!" she said. "You live in a palace!"

Jane chuckled. "It _is a_ pretty big house." She bent to greet Jo Friday, who was running to meet them.

"And you have a dog!" said Holly. "I love dogs! I always wanted a pet, but we couldn't have one in our apartment." She bent to pet Jo, who licked her face. "What's its name?"

"Her name is Jo Friday," Jane told her.

Holly gave the dog another pat, then stood up and spun around on the spot, taking in the foyer and the adjacent dining room. Then she looked up at Jane and Maura, her eyes as big as saucers. "It's true!" she said. "Momma sent me angels!"

Jane and Maura exchanged a look. "Angels?" Maura asked uncertainly.

"Yes!" said Holly. "You two are the angels Momma sent!" She ran at each of them in turn, hugging them around the legs.

Jane raised her eyebrows at Maura. "I think that's the first time anyone has called me an angel," she said.

Maura suppressed a giggle. "Would you like me to show you around?" she asked Holly.

"Yes! I want to see the whole palace." Holly grabbed Maura's hand. "Stay with me so I don't get lost."

"We'll stay with you," Maura promised. "So, this is the dining room."

"It's such a big table!" Holly exclaimed. She counted the chairs. "Eight people can sit here! My apartment just has a little table for two people."

"We can fit four more at the kitchen counter," Jane said, leading her through the doorway.

"Whoa, this is like a castle kitchen!" said Holly, running around the kitchen island in a circle. "I've never seen a kitchen like this!"

"The living room is through here," said Maura. "And that's the backyard."

"You have your own yard?" Holly opened the back door and went out into the long, narrow yard. "Wow, it's so big!" she exclaimed. "There's room for a swing set."

Maura gazed appreciatively at the spot where a swing set would fit. "You're getting ideas, aren't you?" Jane asked her.

"I don't know what you mean," said Maura.

"Oh my gosh, tortoises!" Holly shouted, running over to Bass and Cagney's enclosure. "One of them is huge!"

Maura gave Jane a look that clearly said, 'If a four-year-old can tell the difference between a turtle and a tortoise, why can't you?' and walked over to introduce Holly to the tortoises.

After the backyard tour, they went inside and climbed the winding staircase to show Holly the rest of the house. She exclaimed over everything and was particularly impressed when they showed her the guest room and told her that was where she would be sleeping.

"I've never had a bed this big before!" she cried, jumping onto the queen-size bed and bouncing a little on the mattress. "It's such a big room! I could fit all my toys here!"

Jane laughed gently. "It's just until we find your dad and put him in jail so he can't chase after you anymore."

"I'll still need someplace to live," Holly reasoned. "Momma said she'd send angels if she couldn't take care of me anymore. That's you."

"Well, there might be someone else who wants you, some other family or something," Maura pointed out.

"Nope, all I had was Momma. I'll just live here from now on."

Jane and Maura exchanged a look. "You're welcome to stay here for as long as you need to, but a lot goes into making a decision about where a child should live," Jane explained. "It's not really up to us. We only have permission to take care of you while me and the other police find your dad. After that, I don't know what will happen."

"Daddy Warbucks told Annie she could only stay for Christmas, but then he adopted her," Holly pointed out.

"That's true," Jane agreed.

"Let's just worry about what to do today," Maura said quickly. "Would you like a snack?"

"I already ate at Miss Tammy's," Holly told her. "But I would like to work on my new coloring book. Momma bought it for me after school today."

Jane remembered Tammy saying Martina thought her husband had followed her home. She pictured her driving her child home from school, noticing a car behind her making all the same turns, pulling into the nearest store and hoping she had been imagining things. She imagined her pretending everything was okay, letting her daughter pick out a new coloring book, finally going back to the car when she thought it was safe. Jane could almost feel the woman's terror as she realized, when almost home, that the car was behind her again. She had to know there was no escaping. The only thing she could do was get Holly somewhere safe before the storm hit.

"How did you choose a human anatomy coloring book?" Maura asked a few minutes later, when they were all sitting at the dining room table. Holly had her crayons and was coloring in different bones, reading off their names as she worked, Marie Curie at her side.

"I love learning about bones and organs," Holly said. "I'm going to be a doctor when I grow up."

"Really!" Maura's face lit up like a kid getting the best Christmas present ever. "I'm a doctor!"

Holly looked up excitedly. "What kind of doctor?"

"Oh, well, I'm a medical examiner. I work on people who have already died, to find out what happened to them."

Holly's face fell. "Like my mom?"

"Yes, in cases where someone is killed, it's my job to figure out what happened to them so police detectives like Jane can catch the person who did it and put them in prison, where they can't hurt anybody else."

"Are you going to cut up my mom?" Holly asked, her lip trembling.

"No," Maura said decisively. "I'll have another doctor work this case."

Jane gave Maura a surprised look. "Really?"

"I'm calling in Dr. Pike, although I will instruct him not to release…to let me go over the report before anything is finalized." She gave Jane a determined look. "I'm going to need to take a few days off so I can look after Holly while you work the case."

Jane smiled. "I _will_ be working the case," she promised Holly. "I won't rest until I find your dad. He won't get away with this."

Holly nodded, struggling to hold back tears. "I think you're a very good detective."

Jane laughed in surprise. "That's a lot of confidence for someone who just met me."

"Momma wouldn't send me an angel who was a bad detective," Holly said matter-of-factly.

Maura grinned at Jane. "What kind of doctor do you want to be, Holly?"

"I haven't decided yet. Either a pediatrician or a veterinarian." She held up her left hand. "Look, I did this with my right brain," she declared. Then she held up her right hand. "This is my left brain. Now this is both sides working together." She clapped her hands.

"That's very impressive for a little girl who's just four years old!" said Maura.

"I know, that's why I'm at the gifted school," said Holly. She picked up a crayon. "I'm going to make the femur green."

~R&I~

Once Holly was settled in with Maura and Dr. Pike had been called in, Jane went to the station to get caught up on the case. They had a BOLO on the car Ted Brackman was driving (thanks to Tammy, who'd gotten the car info from Martina while she was dropping Holly off), and Ted's picture was being run on the news. Jane hoped they would find him quickly. In the meantime, Social Services was trying to track down any family who might be fit to take custody of Holly once she was out of protective custody. Jane couldn't help hoping there wouldn't be anyone, which she knew without asking was Maura's hope as well. But in the end, she just wanted what was best for Holly, and it was better to know sooner rather than later if she did have some uncle or grandmother who was going to swoop in and want her. Jane told herself that was probably what would happen. Better to be realistic.

When she got home, she found her mother putting a home-cooked meal on the table, which Holly seemed thrilled about. They ate together as a family, Angela fussing over Holly as much as she did over T.J. Holly seemed to love being surrounded by adults who were concerned for her well-being.

At bedtime, Holly took a bubble bath, marveling over how big the tub was, and then she put on the pajamas they'd salvaged from her apartment and read a book with Maura. After they'd both tucked her in and given her kisses, they went downstairs and got ready for bed themselves.

"You want to keep her, don't you?" Jane asked Maura as they were getting into bed.

"Don't you?" Maura asked.

"Yeah, I do," Jane admitted. "She's pretty amazing."

"She is, and I just want to give her the life she deserves."

"You always get these thoughts in your head though. When you delivered that baby from the dead woman, you were having thoughts of adopting him. When Lydia left T.J. with us, you were ready to take him in."

"That's because I _was_ that baby once, and if I hadn't had loving parents there to adopt me, I don't know where I would be. When I see another child in that position…"

"I get it." Jane heaved a weary sigh. "She _is_ pretty amazing."

"Isn't she? And she wants to stay here!"

"I'm just afraid to get anyone's hopes up. If there's a family member that wants her and is fit, they're going to give her to them. And even if there isn't, we're not certified as foster parents. They might not let us keep her."

"You can apply to be a foster parent for a child you have a personal connection to even if you aren't certified. We can claim a personal connection now."

"Maybe." Jane snuggled up to Maura. "You're pretty sexy when you're taking care of a kid."

"So are you." Maura kissed Jane slowly, softly. Then they heard little feet padding down the stairs from the third floor. Holly appeared in the doorway, her flaming curls lit up by the soft lamplight, Marie Curie in her arms.

"I can't sleep," she said tremulously. "I miss Momma and I'm scared Daddy will find me. Can I stay down here with you?"

Jane looked at Maura and then back at Holly. "Just for tonight."

Holly and Marie Curie climbed up onto the bed, snuggling in between Jane and Maura. "You two are nice," she said sleepily.

"Yeah," said Jane as she and Maura both put their arms protectively over the little girl. "So are you."

~R&I~

Over the next few days, Jane and her team worked tirelessly to find Ted Brackman. When they finally brought him, and the murder weapon, in to the station, there was no longer a need for Holly to be in protective custody. It was time to figure out where she should go next.

The good news (as far as Jane was concerned) was that there were no viable relatives to take her in. She was going to be consigned to the foster care system, and Jane and Maura applied immediately to be her foster parents, putting forth that they were interested in adopting her as well. A judge, on hearing the case, assigned them custody, putting a social worker on the case to evaluate them as potential adoptive parents over the coming months.

"So, what do we do about the whole baby thing?" Jane asked Maura after the custody hearing.

"I still want to have one," Maura said with a smile. "But I think we should stop trying for now so Holly can have time to get settled in before we try to give her a sibling. And I'd like to know for sure if the adoption will go through."

"Yeah, I agree. The kid's trying to recover from a horrible trauma and get used to a new home. We need to give her our full attention." She smiled shyly. "But I still want to have a baby with you."

"Well, our family's coming together much faster than we expected!" Maura said.

"Yeah, it's a big adjustment for all of us. But…I really love that little girl."

"Me too," Maura said. "I can't wait for her to be legally ours."

Holly came running into the room, carrying the latest picture she'd colored.

"I love it!" said Maura, kneeling to inspect the picture. She smiled at the little girl. "Well Holly, it looks like you're going to be living here for a while," she said.

"I know," said Holly nonchalantly. She'd never doubted it.

Well," said Maura, a grin spreading across her face, "I think we need to go shopping!"


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter 20

Episode 3.15: No More Drama in my Life

Two months later, Holly settled in at their house, and their little family of three had a nice routine going. Angela had gone down to part time at the café so she could watch Holly during the hours when she was not at nursery school, until Jane and Maura got home from work. They had turned the third floor study into a beautiful bedroom decorated according to Holly's specifications (she wanted an animal theme, so she got an animal theme), and Maura had seen to it that the little girl got a whole new wardrobe, a roomful of toys, and a case full of books. She'd also secured her a place at an elite private school for the following school year, as well as finding the best child psychologist available to help Holly work through all the trauma she'd been through in her short life. It seemed to comfort her to believe her mother was watching over her, so they encouraged this notion, as well as the idea that her mother had chosen Jane and Maura to take care of her now that she couldn't. It broke Maura's heart to see the little girl grieve, but she was in awe of the trust and optimism the child displayed. Holly was no ordinary little girl.

The adoption process was underway, with a social worker stopping by their house periodically to check in. Everything she observed would go in her report for the judge, declaring whether she recommended Jane and Maura as Holly's new parents or not. Maura wasn't sure she could handle it if the adoption didn't go through somehow. She had fallen head over heels in love with the child, and Holly had taken to their home so readily. Maura was prepared to fight for her if she had to.

What she wasn't prepared for was for Hope to contact her again. She hadn't heard from her in six months, and she felt the window had already passed for Hope to apologize for her bad reaction and embrace Maura as her long-lost daughter. Anyway, Maura didn't have time to worry about her biological mother anymore. She was too busy being a mother herself. But then an email came from Hope, telling her that Cailin's condition had deteriorated considerably since they had last spoken. She was hospitalized now and would die soon if she didn't get a new kidney. They were losing hope that her name would come up on the list in time.

Maura ignored the emails. She didn't know what to do. She didn't think she could just let Cailin die, whatever she had done, but each email from Hope felt like a knife in her heart. It was confirmation that Maura meant nothing to her. Six months. She'd had _six months_ to tell Maura she was sorry, she had just been overwhelmed, of course she loved her, of course she was glad she was alive. Six months, and now she finally spoke to her, not to say any of that, but to beg for her kidney, so Maura could save the only daughter Hope loved. She was never going to love Maura.

She didn't tell Jane about the emails at first because she knew what she would say, but when the UPS boxes started piling up as Maura relieved her stress through online shopping, Jane quickly pieced it together.

It was a rainy May evening, and Angela had taken Holly to see the latest Disney movie, giving Jane and Maura the evening alone. They had spent most of it in the bedroom, where Maura had enjoyed listening to Jane yell expletives during her orgasms the way she had always done before they had a kid sleeping in the room above theirs. When it was almost time for Angela and Holly to come home, they put on their pajamas and headed downstairs for a little post-coital snack, and that was when Jane snooped through a few of the latest boxes and noticed that, rather than being full of more things for Holly's room, they contained odd items like al fresco picnic pants.

"You've heard from Hope again, haven't you," she said. It was a statement, not a question.

Maura sighed. "She's been emailing me."

It must have been clear from Maura's face that she wasn't emailing to make amends. "She wants your kidney," Jane said, her anger barely in check. "For Cailin."

Maura nodded, looking down. "I haven't responded."

"You don't owe them anything."

"I know, but Cailin's gotten really sick. She won't live much longer if she doesn't get a kidney in time. It doesn't seem fair for her to die at eighteen, no matter how she treated me."

"Yes, well, if I hadn't pushed you to talk to Hope, you wouldn't know, and it wouldn't be your problem." She slipped her arms around Maura and kissed her face tenderly. Maura noted that Jane still smelled like sex, which meant she probably did too.

"But I do know, and it is my problem," Maura said softly, settling into Jane's arms. This was the safest place in the entire world, here in the arms of the person she knew loved her more than anyone else did. Maura fit here.

"It's still not your problem."

"It is, because I am most likely the only person who can save her. If she dies because I didn't act, I'm going to have to live with that."

"Just don't look at it like that. You have your own family now, your own daughter who depends on you. How will it affect her if you have to go in the hospital, or if you have complications?"

"I have my own adopted daughter. How would I feel if she needed a kidney and neither of us could give one to her, and we had to track down some biological relative she doesn't even know, and they refused to help?"

Jane was dumbfounded by that question. Maura knew she'd do anything to talk Holly's relatives into handing over a kidney if she ever needed one.

"It's not the kidney I'm agonizing over," Maura admitted. "I know it's the right thing to do. I just don't want to talk to Hope."

"I can see why not. She accused you of lying when you told her you were her dead baby, and then she didn't contact you again until she needed your kidney for her real daughter. She's been shitty towards you, Maura."

Maura blinked back tears. "She doesn't want me. She's exactly what I always hoped my biological mother would be like, but…I always imagined she'd _want_ me."

"Well, I don't give a fuck what she wants. You have a family that does want you. _You_ are the center of _my_ universe." She lifted Maura up and set her on the edge of the kitchen counter, then stood between her legs and kissed her sweetly, tongue requesting entrance, which Maura happily granted. Jane's hand slid along silky fabric to cup a full breast, and Maura hooked her legs around the detective's waist, feeling greedy.

Just then, Tommy came in out of the rain with T.J. in a carrier. "Ew," he said as the two women reluctantly disentangled themselves. "You guys do that in the kitchen?"

"It's our house, we can do it wherever we want," Jane said defiantly. "Or we _could_ if our relatives weren't so fond of barging in without knocking."

"Sorry, I still have my key from when I lived in the guest house, and I wanted to get in out of the rain." He gave them another weird look. "And I didn't know you'd be doing _that_."

"Just assume from now on and we'll all be happier."

Tommy made a face. "I used to think lesbians were hot, but that was before I knew my _sister_ was one. No offense, Maura."

"None taken." Maura hopped down from the kitchen cabinet and leaned against Jane as the door opened again and Angela came through with Holly.

"Hi, sweetie!" Maura said, lighting up as she got down onto her daughter's level. "How was the movie?"

"It was really funny!" Holly told her. "And guess what? I saw a commercial for a new movie coming that has a princess that looks like me! She had a bow and arrows!"

"Well we're definitely gonna have to see that one," said Jane, bending down to kiss the little girl's head. "It's time to get you ready for bed now."

"Not yet!" Holly protested. "I just got home!"

"Fine, you get fifteen minutes to play, and then you need to pick out a bedtime story."

"Okay." She ran into the living room where some of her toys were, bright red curls bobbing.

"What are all the boxes for?" Angela asked as she watched her granddaughter.

"Maura's doing a little stress-shopping," Jane said.

"Hope has been contacting me again," Maura explained.

"Oh, that's wonderful!"

Maura shook her head. "She's only contacting me because she wants my kidney for Cailin."

"Oh." Angela looked deflated, but only for a second. "Well, I don't like that she's trying to take one of your organs, but I can't blame her for doing everything she can to save her child."

"I can't either," Maura said, looking at Holly. "What's bothering me is that…if she didn't need my kidney for Cailin, I probably would never have heard from her again. She had six months to call me if she just wanted to talk, if she wanted a relationship. I feel that if Cailin had gotten a kidney from a deceased donor, I wouldn't be hearing anything."

"That is a little harder to understand," Angela agreed.

"I think it's better not to have anything to do with either of them," Jane huffed. "Nobody treats my wife like that. She has her own child to take care of now."

"But I don't want Cailin to die, and she probably will if I don't give her my kidney!" Maura reiterated.

"Who needs a kidney?" Holly asked, returning to the kitchen with a unicorn.

Maura couldn't help feeling proud that her four-year-old even knew what a kidney was. "Remember how I told you I was adopted?"

Holly nodded. "Just like I'm going to be."

"Well, I found my biological mother and sister several months ago. My sister is very sick and needs a kidney transplant in order to get better, and I'm the only one who is a match. She told me she doesn't want my kidney because she doesn't like me, and my biological mother doesn't seem to like me much either, but she really wants me to give my kidney to my sister."

"Oh. You should do it," said Holly.

They all looked at her in surprise. "Really?" Maura said.

"Yes, because you're a doctor, and doctors don't just save the patients who are nice. They save everyone they can."

Everyone was stunned into silence for a minute. "She's right," Maura said to Jane.

"Out of the mouths of babes," said Angela.

Jane picked Holly up and ruffled her hair. "But I'm not a doctor, and all I care about is protecting my family. I don't want my wife to go through surgery."

"She'll get better though, and she'll be happy that she helped someone," Holly reasoned. "And we'll take good care of her."

"Oh, she'll be just fine with this little doctor looking after her," Angela laughed.

"This little doctor needs to get to bed," Jane declared, and she carried the giggling girl upstairs.

~R&I~

Maura knew giving Cailin her kidney was the right thing to do, but she still couldn't bring herself to talk to Hope. She ignored her calls, and when she found out Hope had come into the café to talk to Angela, she refused to go up and talk to them. But Hope was persistent, and she came down to find Maura, surprising her. Instead of telling Hope she was ready to hand over her kidney, she stopped being nice and told her exactly what she thought about Hope's rejection of her. Hope tried to backpedal, to make it sound like she'd simply been shocked to learn her baby was still alive, but Maura wasn't buying it. Not only was it hard to believe she genuinely hadn't known Maura was still alive, but it seemed apparent that the only reason Hope was "sorry" for what she had said to Maura was because she was afraid it would prevent Cailin from getting the kidney she needed. Hope finally walked out, no doubt believing Maura was a lost cause, leaving the ME in tears.

Jane was proud of Maura for finally standing up for herself, and hopeful that she would still get to keep both of their kidneys. But before anything could be decided for sure, disaster struck. A poorly built parking garage collapsed with Frost, Tommy, and baby T.J. inside, as well as a lot of other people who were killed or injured. The city called for the help of any doctor who had time to spare, and Maura swapped her black scrubs for blue so she could help. Hope also arrived, ready to assist, and Maura put her feelings aside to give her instructions. Then she helped Jane locate Frost, Tommy, and T.J. so they could be rescued. When it was all over, she decided it was time to stop playing games. She told Hope she'd give Cailin the kidney and made her promise she would never tell Cailin where it came from. Then she asked Hope never to contact her again. She couldn't deal with her biological mother trying to maintain a relationship out of obligation or gratitude. It was already clear enough that Hope would never be there out of anything else.

~R&I~

It was dark when Maura woke. She had come out of surgery several hours earlier, but the anesthesia was still in her system, and she'd had trouble staying awake, especially with all the people who wanted to see her to make sure she was okay. Now her hospital room was quiet. Jane was dozing in a recliner next to the bed, Holly sound asleep in her arms. The little girl had her head resting on Jane's chest and was holding her beloved Marie Curie doll. Jane's arms were wrapped tightly around Holly. Maura's heart melted at the sight of the two of them, as it always did. Jane was such an incredible mother. She loved seeing this side of her.

Jane stirred a little and opened her eyes. "Hey," she said softly upon seeing that Maura was awake. "How are you feeling?"

"Okay, given the circumstances."

Jane looked grim, but accepting. Maura knew Jane hated to see her in pain and that she didn't agree with her decision to donate her kidney, but she was here, supporting her, because that was what a wife did.

"I love watching you with her," Maura murmured sleepily.

A smile tugged at Jane's lips. "I love watching you with her too. This whole family thing is kind of amazing." She lightly touched Holly's hair. "I still want a baby, though. A little brother or sister for Holly."

Maura smiled sadly. "That's the only thing that really bothers me about having done this. Now I have to wait at least six months before I can even try to get pregnant again, and that's longer than I wanted to wait."

"Yeah." Jane bit her lip. "I could do it instead."

"What?"

"I could get pregnant. Then we wouldn't have to wait so long. Unless you really wanted to be the one to do it."

"I would," said Maura thoughtfully, "but I'd really love to see you pregnant as well."

"Well, which idea do you like better?"

"The one that gets a baby here sooner."

Holly turned in Jane's arms and opened her eyes. "Did you say something about a baby?"

"Yeah," said Jane. "How would you like a baby brother or sister?"

Holly sat straight up, her eyes wide. "Am I getting one?"

"We're thinking about it."

"I really want one! I used to tell Momma I wanted one, but she said there was no room in our apartment. But our house has lots of room!"

"It does," agreed Maura. "So you don't mind sharing everything with a new baby?"

"Nope, as long as I can keep my own room."

"We have plenty of rooms," Jane promised.

A nurse came in to check on Maura and seemed startled to find a child still in the room. "Don't you want to get her home to bed?" she asked Jane.

"No, I want to stay here with Mummy," Holly insisted. Maura always smiled when she used that name. She'd read a book in which a child called his mother 'Mummy,' and for whatever reason, she had decided it fit Maura.

"I don't want to leave her either," Jane admitted. She looked up at the nurse and smiled. "We'll just stay here for tonight," she said. "We're a family. We do everything together."


	21. Chapter 21

**Sorry this took so long! I have a lot going on but I work on this as much as I can every day. I know you're all waiting for it, and I wouldn't forget. However...writing reviews asking for a new chapter won't make it happen any faster! I'm already doing the best I can. If you register for an account and put the story on follow, you can be notified when there's a new chapter and not have to keep checking. I'm just saying. Anyway, enjoy!**

Chapter 21

Episodes 4.2: In Over Your Head and 4.3: But I Am A Good Girl

"I'm just saying, it seems suspicious to me that he came back to BPD after all those years in a federal task force."

"He was offered a job as lieutenant of the drug unit. I'm sure that's a lot better than whatever he was doing for the task force." Jane got out of the car, hoping Maura would stop obsessing over the arrival of Rafael Martinez sometime in the near future. Jane wasn't happy about him coming back to BPD either, and she knew Frankie was also less than thrilled, since he had recently been promoted to detective in the drug unit and was now stuck with Jane's ex as his boss. Martinez was, of course, being a complete jerk about it. Still, it had been almost worth having the fucker back just to see the cold stare Maura gave him when he introduced himself to her. She clearly didn't want her wife's ex around.

"Well, if he gives you any trouble, let me know," Maura said with determination.

"Yeah? What are you gonna do, bombard him with fun facts until he begs for mercy?"

"I will do whatever I have to in order to defend my wife," Maura declared haughtily. She opened the door from the garage and they both walked through the backyard, passing the swing set/club house they'd had installed over the summer for Holly. Their adoption hearing for her was scheduled for the following month, and Jane couldn't wait. Everything had gone smoothly so far, but she would still feel better when all the paperwork was signed and sealed and Holly was officially theirs. They'd had such a wonderful summer with her, throwing a big party for her fifth birthday in July and renting a beach cottage on Cape Cod for part of August so she could build sand castles every day. Last week, they had proudly watched Holly walk into her new kindergarten classroom. It was so exciting to watch the little girl blossom now that she was in a safe, nurturing environment.

"Do you want to talk about what's really bothering you?" Jane asked her. "Like your lying, money-laundering birth mother?" The more Jane learned about Hope, the more intensely she disliked her. Cailin had reached out to Maura and was acting like a decent person now. Maybe having Maura's kidney in her was making her a little sweeter, a little more like her big sister. As long as she stayed this nice, Jane was fine with Maura forming a relationship with her. She knew how much she'd always wanted a sibling of her own. But Hope – she could not abide Hope. Hope was no better than Paddy, and Maura was better off without either of them in her life.

"I'm allowed to have more than one thing bothering me," said Maura, unlocking the back door. They went inside and found Angela and Holly at the kitchen counter, decorating cookies.

"This is just what I need," said Jane, snatching up a cookie and biting into it. It was an iced sugar cookie, and it was delicious.

"Mom, you're eating the intestines!" Holly admonished.

"What?" Jane looked at the cookie in alarm. There were indeed intestines drawn on it in pink icing.

"We're making human anatomy cookies," said Angela coolly. "And they're not to eat until after dinner.

Jane noticed Holly's human anatomy picture book sitting out on the counter. "Ooo, maybe if you eat one of the kidney cookies, you can have two kidneys again," she suggested to Maura.

"Not until after dinner," Maura insisted with a smile. She gave Holly a kiss on the head. "How was your day at school, sweetie?"

"It was great! We made a volcano!"

"That sounds like fun!" Jane finished the cookie and hugged her daughter. "I'm gonna run use the bathroom."

Maura's head snapped up. "Don't forget to…"

"Flush the toilet? Don't worry," said Jane with a wink. She knew what Maura really wanted her to do, so she went upstairs to the master bath, where they kept the ovulation predictor tests. It wasn't her first rodeo with this, but last month's insemination attempt had been fruitless.

She peed on the little stick, quite similar to the stick she hoped she'd be peeing on in a few weeks to find out if she was pregnant. After washing her hands, she set the timer on her phone for five minutes and got changed into some more comfortable clothing. When the timer went off, she checked on the stick, and her heart began beating faster. Two pink lines.

She ran downstairs, where Maura was chatting with Angela and Holly while the three of them finished getting dinner ready. Marie Curie was already seated at the dining table.

"Maura," she said in a low voice, grabbing her wife's arm and pulling her away from the others. "I'm ovulating."

Maura drew in her breath. She went back into the kitchen. "Angela," she said. "It's a warm evening. Maybe you can take Holly to Boston Common after dinner?"

Angela looked at them. She knew what was going on. "Sure, how much time do you need?"

Maura frowned in thought. "About an hour and a half? Just to be safe."

"Can you guys come too?" Holly asked.

"We're really tired from work, honey," said Jane. "We'll just rest up a bit so we're ready to play with you when you get back home."

"Well, okay," said Holly. "I'll just bring Marie Curie."

The four of them sat down to dinner, though Jane and Maura were a little quieter than usual as they both thought about what was to come. When they had been trying to get Maura pregnant, she had gone to a doctor each month when she was ovulating because Jane was afraid she would mess up the procedure at home. Maura, however, was fully confident in her insemination abilities, and she wanted to be the one who got Jane pregnant.

Once Angela and Holly had left for the Common, Jane and Maura went up to their bedroom to begin the strange process. Maura put on gloves and retrieved this month's vial of frozen sperm from its little portable cryogenic tank. She placed the vial on the nightstand to thaw while Jane undressed, then set a timer for 30 minutes. "Are you ready?" she asked.

"Yeah, sex me up," said Jane. "Can you get naked, too?"

"Of course."

Maura stripped off her clothes, got into bed with Jane, and smiled in her usual seductive way, as though didn't have a vial of some stranger's sperm sitting on the nightstand.

"This is so weird," Jane mumbled.

"Stop thinking about the sperm and the baby for now. Just think about me." She climbed on top of Jane and sucked an earlobe into her mouth. "Do you find me sexy?" she whispered.

"Mm. You know I do."

"So that…" Maura kissed her face. "…is all…" She kissed her neck, warm hands sliding down to cover Jane's breasts. "…you need…" She kissed Jane's collarbone, her hands moving on to lightly caress Jane's abs. "…to think about."

"Mmm." Jane could focus on that. She buried her fingers in Maura's soft hair. "Come up here."

Maura smiled and climbed back up slowly, running her tongue up Jane's abs, between her breasts, along her neck and jawline before finally finding her mouth. Jane squirmed under her, pelvis rising of its own accord so her own heat could press against Maura's as their tongues danced. Her hands moved up and down the soft, elegant curves of Maura's body, the item on the nightstand suddenly forgotten. She just wanted Maura now. It was all she cared about.

She wriggled herself down the mattress a little so her face was positioned directly under Maura's breasts. Now this was a view she would never get tired of.

"I swear these tits are like a little taste of Heaven," she breathed, taking one nipple into her mouth while her hand reached for the other one, gently caressing the soft surface. Maura was used to Jane waxing philosophical about her breasts, but Jane didn't plan to stop. She'd fingered a lot of tits in her lifetime, and this was by far her favorite pair. That she'd gotten their owner to marry her was her biggest life accomplishment, and she doubted she'd ever top it.

"Come here," she urged after a few minutes, tugging on Maura's hips. "Sit on my face."

"Are you sure? We only have 22 minutes left until—"

"I'm sure. It'll all work out. Get up here."

Maura crawled up and sat straddling Jane's face, her juices already dripping. Jane would never get tired of this either. She took Maura's hips in her hands and ran her tongue hungrily around soft, swollen folds. Maura whimpered, and Jane moved slowly closer to her target, listening as the little whimpers became more urgent. Finally she went in for the kill, licking and lapping happily as Maura rocked her hips, trying to push herself further into Jane's mouth, until she sang out her sweet climax.

Maura collapsed, panting, next to Jane, but she couldn't rest for long. The timer was still ticking.

"I need to bring you close to orgasm," she said breathlessly. "And then—"

"Yeah, yeah, just do it!"

"Okay." Maura leaned over and kissed Jane right between the breasts, no doubt aiming for that mole she liked so much. Her fingers trailed downwards to stroke Jane's clit before moving inside, finding the detective ready for her. Jane moved her legs apart and lifted her hips to better take her in, rocking her hips as the blonde thrust in and out, slowly and then faster, harder, until Jane realized she was nearing climax.

"Maura, stop, stop," she said reluctantly. She knew she couldn't orgasm until the sperm was inside her, as the purpose of the orgasm was to make her uterus contract so the sperm was moved towards its goal. It was the first time in her life she had ever stopped someone from giving her an orgasm.

"Okay," said Maura gently, withdrawing her fingers and lightly stroking Jane's mound instead, kissing her neck.

"I dunno if I can even take that right now," Jane said. "I'm _really_ close."

Just then, the timer beeped.

"Well, looks like you won't have to wait long." Maura excitedly picked up the vial, rolling it between her hands to warm it up.

"I don't really like that stuff," Jane admitted.

"I know," said Maura. "But you'll love the baby."

Jane smiled, placing a pillow and a towel beneath her hips. "I know I will."

Maura opened a syringe and carefully filled it with semen. "Okay, now I just need to find your cervix," she said cheerfully, reinserting a single finger.

"That is possibly the least sexy thing you've ever said in the bedroom."

"I think getting you pregnant is _very_ sexy." Maura put the syringe in and then withdrew her finger before pushing the plunger. "Okay, now it would be best if you stayed in this position for another 30 minutes. But in the meantime…"

"That stuff is cold," Jane groaned. "I don't know if I can have an orgasm now. I lost my sexy when you put that stuff in me."

"Just relax and let me take care of you."

Somehow, Maura's voice saying those words was enough to turn Jane back on. Maura's fingers returned to her folds, circling her clit until Jane found herself back at the precipice, this time hurtling right over the edge.

Maura snuggled up to her and kissed her shoulder. "It's going to be a beautiful baby," she said softly.

"Probably not a genius like you and Holly."

"I've never felt like you were less intelligent than me."

"Really? I've always felt like you were way smarter than me."

"I think we have different types of intelligence, but I wouldn't say one is better than another. Different minds work in different ways. That's what the world needs."

Jane rested her head on Maura's. "I know we'll be happy with whatever we get. And if it doesn't work…it's okay. We're already moms to a perfect daughter."

Maura smiled. "We already have more than I could have imagined."

~R&I~

Whether they had their own baby or not, there was still one in the family they could enjoy. T.J. was now six months old, and Angela had finally made Tommy bring him to the church for his christening. They dressed Holly in an adorable pale pink lace dress with a little white cardigan and proudly marched her into the church, not caring about the withering looks Father Crowley kept sending their way. The priest was already a grouch, and Jane and Maura's lesbian family couldn't possibly bother him any more than Tommy having drunkenly run him over, or the baby he was now christening who was the product of a one-night stand, or the divorcee grandmother.

Things got even worse when Lydia's new fiancé, a man who called himself Strawberry, showed up. The Rizzolis then spent the next week scheming to break up Lydia and Strawberry so Lydia and T.J. wouldn't move to Texas with the guy. They finally succeeded at getting Lydia and Tommy to spend an evening together while they babysat T.J., which they hoped was a step in the right direction.

"I hope I get a new baby brother who's just like T.J. He's so cute!" Holly said while they were all playing with the baby in the living room.

"Well, we can't make any promises," Jane said tiredly. "Let me have the baby back."

"It's my turn to hold him," said Maura cheerfully, making no effort to relinquish her nephew.

"But maybe since we already have a baby boy in the family, you should have a baby girl instead," Holly suggested. "I'd love to have a sister."

"Well, we don't really get to choose," said Maura. "I think any baby we have will be the most precious baby in the world to us, boy or girl."

"Where is the baby going to sleep?" asked Holly.

"In our room at first, and then we'll turn the yoga room into a nursery," Maura explained.

"But then where will we do yoga?"

"We'll make a new yoga room in the basement, next to the room where your Mom keeps her weights."

"Oh, okay." Holly thought for a minute. "If it's a girl, can we name her Marie?"

Jane chuckled. "We already have a Marie in the house," she said, pointing to the doll on the couch.

"Maybe you can have twins!" Holly said brightly. "A boy _and_ a girl!"

"No, don't wish for that!" Jane groaned. "One baby is enough!"

~R&I~

After Lydia had taken T.J. home and Holly had gone to bed, Jane turned to Maura. "Well, are you ready to find out if there _is_ a baby on the way?" she asked. "Hopefully one, single, solitary baby?"

Maura giggled. "Well we can't find out the number just yet, but I'd love to know if there's a baby. You're still not menstruating?"

"Nope. That's a good sign, right?"

"Yes, definitely." Maura walked into the master bathroom and got out a pregnancy test, handing it to Jane.

"You're not going to stand there and watch me pee on this, are you?"

"Well, I suppose not," said Maura, tactfully leaving the bathroom.

Jane dutifully peed on the stick and then set it on the counter, walking back out to the bedroom. "It is done," she said melodramatically.

"Good."

They looked at each other.

"So, what do we do now?" Jane asked.

"I'm going to put my pajamas on," said Maura.

"Good idea. I'm going to do that as well."

They both changed into their pajamas, neither of them looking towards the bathroom, as though a mere glance might throw everything off. When they were done, there were still 40 seconds left on the timer. They stood, staring at each other, until the timer finally dinged and they both went running for the bathroom.

"I can't look!" Jane said at the last second, turning away.

"It'll be okay," Maura promised her. "Whatever happens, we're already parents, remember? We already have a perfect child."

"But she wants a little brother or sister so bad."

"I know."

"And we have a child, but we've never had a _baby_. I want a baby."

Maura smiled, her eyes misting over. "I know. I do too."

Jane took a deep breath and steeled herself. "We have to look at the test now."

"I'll do it." Maura turned around and then spun back, her eyes wide.

"No," said Jane.

"Yes!" A smile spread across Maura's face.

"For real?" Jane picked up the test. There were two pink lines.

"Jane, you're pregnant!" Maura gasped, throwing her arms around her wife and covering her face in kisses. "I got you pregnant!"

"You did!" Jane said in amazement. "This is real?"

"It's real!" Maura promised. "It's happening! _We're having a baby_!"


	22. Chapter 22

Chapter 22

Episodes 4.4: Killer in High Heels and 4.5: Dance with the Devil

Maura opened her eyes and immediately cringed. She had a splitting headache, and the room was unusually bright. She groaned.

"Hey," said Jane's gentle voice. "How are you feeling?"

Maura opened her eyes again and saw her wife. She blinked up at her. "Was I asleep?"

"Yeah, the doctor said it was best to let you sleep it off before we did anything else. They're running the tests now."

"What tests?"

Jane looked at her helplessly. "The um, the toxicology tests. To see what's in your system."

Maura tried to swallow, but her mouth felt dry. "What's in my system?"

"Yeah. Do you…remember anything, from last night?"

Maura thought. "We were at the benefit. You wanted to leave early because you were nauseous. You asked why they call it morning sickness when it lasts all day."

Jane smiled gently, but the smile didn't reach her eyes. "Yeah. I left early. I'm so sorry, Maura."

Maura looked around. "Where are we?" She realized with some alarm that they weren't at home, but in what appeared to be a private ER room. She was lying on a narrow bed, Jane standing at her side, Maura's hands clasped in her own.

"We're at the emergency room, honey. I…" Jane looked helpless. "What else do you remember about last night?"

"You left early. I was going to take you home, but people started talking to me, and I wanted to make a donation, but you didn't feel well, so I gave you my car keys and told you I'd take a cab home. I stayed and talked to some doctors…I had an extra glass of wine since I wasn't driving…and then I went out to take a cab home. That's all I remember."

"Was anyone else there?"

"No. Yes. Maybe…I think one of the doctors came out when I did."

Jane nodded encouragingly. "Do you remember their name?"

Maura thought. "Brad Adams."

"Okay. Did he talk to you?"

"Yes, he said he could give me a ride home."

Jane looked alarmed. "Did you take him up on it?"

Maura frowned. "I don't remember. But I think he…I think he blew me a kiss."

Jane nodded uncertainly. "Do you remember anything else?"

"No." Maura pushed her hair out of her face. "My head is killing me."

"I'll see if they can get you something." Jane flagged down a passing nurse. "She's awake, and she says her head hurts. Can she have anything for it?"

"I'll check with the doctor," the nurse said before hurrying off.

"Jane, why am I here?" Maura asked again.

Jane gave her a pained look. "I'm not sure what happened, Maura, but you didn't come home. When it was time for Holly to go to bed, I texted you, but I thought you were busy when you didn't reply. So I just put her to bed myself."

"No, I left at Holly's bedtime! I knew you were probably already getting her ready for bed, but I was going to be home in time to give her a goodnight kiss."

"You didn't make it," said Jane, shaking her head. "I called you, after she went to sleep. You didn't answer, so I went back to the hotel to look for you. Someone told me you'd left over an hour ago, and they mentioned a man walking out with you. A man who matched Brad Adams' description. I knew something was wrong, so I called Korsak, I had every cop in Boston looking for you. Then someone found you just wandering down the street. You looked dazed, it was obvious you'd been drugged…so they took you to the hospital and called me. They're running tests to see what he gave you, but…we need to find out what he did, why he drugged you." She blinked back tears.

Maura looked at her, bewildered. "Did they find him?"

"Not yet, but we're looking for him. I'm going to text Korsak that you've confirmed he's the last person you remember being with." She looked at her phone and gasped. "Oh no."

"What?"

"They did a background check on Brad Adams. He has a record, and he's not a real doctor."

Maura stared. "So he lied? But he was there, with the other doctors. We were all talking."

"He lied. The fucker. Who knows why he was doing it, but…well, it makes it look like you were targeted."

"For what?"

"I don't know, baby, but we're trying to figure it out."

Suddenly Maura sat upright. "Where's Holly?"

"She's fine, she's home with Ma. She was asleep when I left. Ma's gonna get her ready for school. I told her to tell Holly we had to go to work early."

Maura relaxed, leaning against Jane. "So he drugged me and just…left me somewhere?"

Jane wrapped her arms tightly around her wife. "I guess he was…done with you."

There was a knock at the door, and two women came into the room: one was a nurse, and the other was Susie.

"The doctor will be in shortly," the nurse assured them. "I've brought you something for your head." She gave Maura two pills and a little cup of water to take them with. Maura swallowed them down.

"The lights are really bright here," she said softly.

"I can dim them for now, but the doctor will need to turn them on fully when she comes in for the examination," the nurse told her. "First, Ms. Chang needs to take all your clothes to be processed, your underwear too. I have this gown for you to put on when she's done."

"She says the last thing she remembers is leaving to catch a cab, and one of the people she'd been talking to inside followed her out," Jane told the nurse. "The last thing she remembers is him…blowing her a kiss?"

"It's possible he used a powder and blew it into her face," the nurse said thoughtfully. "I've heard of that with scopolamine, which we've seen before as a date rape drug. I'll mention it to the doctor and make sure it's on the tox screen. It leaves the system quickly, so we have to test right away." She dimmed the lights and went out of the room.

"I don't understand," said Maura. "Did he rape me?"

Jane squeezed Maura's hand. "We don't know yet. That's what we're here to find out."

Maura shivered. How could this have happened? It was just an innocent charity event. She found herself fervently wishing that she'd left with Jane as soon as she started complaining of nausea. She could have spent a quiet evening at home with Jane and Holly. She could be waking up in her own bed right now, happy and safe and snug beside her wife.

"Hey, Dr. Isles," said Susie shyly. "I hope you're feeling okay. I'm sorry we have to do this."

"It's okay, Susie," said Maura, taking Jane's arm as she got up from the bed.

Taking her clothes off in front of Susie and giving her each item to put into a plastic bag was humiliating. Under different circumstances, it might not have seemed like a big deal. Susie was a woman, someone Maura liked and trusted, and furthermore, a nudist. Seeing people with their clothes off wasn't a big deal to her. But still, Maura was her boss. Stripping off in front of a subordinate didn't feel professional, and being forced to strip because a strange man might have left his DNA in her clothing would be humiliating no matter who was there.

Thankfully, Susie stepped out of the room when Maura got down to her underwear, leaving only Jane to see her get completely naked before putting on her gown. Jane tied the gown in the back for her.

"Whatever happens," she said, her voice fully of hurt, "you know it's not going to change how I feel about you, right? I know it's not your fault. I just…I just wanna kill him, for hurting you."

Maura tried to smile. "We don't know yet if he did hurt me."

"He drugged you. Isn't that enough?"

Maura looked down at her hands, twisting her wedding rings. She and Jane had just celebrated their first wedding anniversary. It might not change how Jane felt about her, but Maura really didn't know what she was going to do if it turned out she _had_ been raped. "I feel so stupid for not leaving with you," she blurted out.

"No Maura, don't. I feel stupid for leaving you there. I put up with morning sickness all day at work; I could have done it for another hour at your charity thing. I can't believe I left you to take a cab."

"You had every right to leave. You spent all day working through your nausea. You earned the right to just relax at home at the end of the day."

"But my place is at your side."

Before Maura could argue any further, there was another knock on the door, and the doctor came in to do the rape kit.

Jane stayed in the room, at Maura's request, and held her hand while Maura underwent the examination. When the doctor finished, Maura held her breath.

"I have good news," the doctor said. "There's no sign of sexual assault."

Maura let out her breath. "That _is_ good news."

Jane wrapped her arms around Maura and kissed her cheek. "It's wonderful news. But now we have to find out what he _did_ want you for. I'll have the guys check your bank accounts. Maybe he had you get cash out of an ATM for him or something."

"I've heard of scopolamine being used to rob people," said Maura, struggling to gather her thoughts through the fog in her brain. "It makes you lose your free will, so you do whatever you're told."

Jane frowned. "That's what you were like when they found you. Just dazed, really compliant but unable to explain anything. It was terrifying."

"Scopolamine is one of the things they're checking for in the lab," the doctor assured them. "We'll call you as soon as we get the results back. I'll work on your discharge paperwork."

~R&I~

It was still early when Maura got home. She had just enough time to shower before Holly got up. Holly noticed that Maura seemed off at breakfast, but Jane told her that she just wasn't feeling well, and then she whisked the little one off to school before she could attempt an examination with her toy doctor's kit. Not long after Jane returned, she got a phone call from Frost.

"They found him," she told Maura when he hung up. "He's not that far from where we found you."

"So they arrested him?" Maura asked hopefully.

Jane shook her head. "He's dead."

Maura stared. "What happened?"

Jane shook her head. "He was found murdered. A punch to the throat. Someone saved me some trouble. They found him in his car, and your ID badge is in there too. That's all we know for now."

Maura's hands flew to her mouth. "What if I killed him? Before the drug fully took effect? I have those bruises on my arms, I clearly fought back, and I was just practicing that blow in my home self-defense course."

"Maura, the whole point of learning self-defense is so you can protect yourself from people who are trying to rape you, or rob you. If you took him out before he could do any of that, then I'm proud of you."

Maura blinked back tears. "I'm a physician. I don't kill people."

Jane wrapped her arms around her. "No one's saying you did. But even if it turns out that way, there are situations where you have to do things like that. Anything you have to do to get back home to Holly and me, and to our unborn child, is perfectly okay."

"Holly's adoption hearing is only a few weeks away," Maura said tremulously. "What if this messes that up?"

"It won't. You haven't broken any laws. It won't mess anything up."

~R&I~

Jane might be confident, but Maura wasn't so sure. How would it look to the judge presiding over the adoption hearing if one of Holly's potential mothers had recently killed a man? And how could she live with herself, knowing that she had taken a life? She understood Jane's logic, that it was clearly self-defense, and Maura had been learning self-defense for the past two years especially for situations like this. Jane had killed before, in the line of duty. Maura had been there when she'd stabbed Hoyt right in the chest. It had never bothered Maura to know her wife had killed people, because she knew Jane would never do it unless she had to. Sometimes, in extreme situations, you did have to. Maura completely understood. And yet, it seemed so much different now that she was the one with blood on her hands. This wasn't part of Maura's job. She was only supposed to help people.

Cavanaugh allowed Frost and Korsak to work the case, even though they knew Maura, but he wouldn't let Jane anywhere near it. The men kept them updated, however. In a matter of days, they were able to put together that the man who drugged Maura had been hired by another man, golf great Tucker Franklin, who had planned the event, to kidnap and drug Maura so she could steal evidence from the morgue that would implicate Franklin in a murder case. Once the evidence was turned over, Franklin had killed Brad Adams and tried to set it up so Maura would look guilty. Apparently he'd been counting on Maura wandering the streets of Boston until morning, by which time the scopolamine might have been already working its way out of her system. He hadn't counted on Jane tearing Boston apart until she found her missing wife, thereby throwing off his entire timeline.

So Maura hadn't killed anyone, in self-defense or otherwise. She was greatly relieved, both to know she didn't have that on her head, and to know that it wouldn't interfere with Holly's adoption hearing.

But first, they had to get through week one of Paddy Doyle's trial.

Jane was scheduled to testify the first day of the trial. Maura, fortunately, didn't have to testify at all, but she planned to go there to support Jane. She wanted Paddy to see which side she was on.

She knew she'd never be able to concentrate at work, however, so she took the day off. It was nice to be able to take Holly to school without rushing to make it to work on time afterwards.

"Why aren't you working today?" Holly asked, making a point of stepping on every crunchy fall leaf she saw on the sidewalk as they made their way to the school.

Maura sighed. "My biological father's trial starts today. I can't think about anything else."

"You said he was a bad man," said Holly. "Did he kill anyone?"

"Yes, a lot of people."

Holly squeezed Maura's hand. "My father killed my Momma."

"I know, sweetie. That's even worse than what my father did." She smiled down at the child, a little grimly. "It's hard knowing your own father did terrible things, isn't it?"

"Yes, but it's not your fault. He made bad choices, but you make your own choices. That's what my teacher says."

"You're right. And I would never make the choices he made."

"My dad scared me because when he got mad he would hit me or Momma," said Holly thoughtfully. "But sometimes he was nice to us, like one time he bought me this really cute teddy bear. And he always said he was proud of me for being so smart." She bit her lip. "Is it bad that I loved him even though he wasn't a good person?"

Maura felt a rush of sympathy for the child. She knew exactly how she felt. "No, sweetie, it's not bad. It's hard not to love your own parents, no matter what they do. I think it shows that you're a good person, even though he isn't."

Holly nodded. "Sometimes I miss the way he played with me. But I never want to see him ever again because of what he did. You and Mama are better because you never hurt me."

"We never, ever will. I promise." Maura picked the little girl up and hugged her tightly. "I'm nervous about seeing my father in court today, but I can't wait to go back to court next week, with you, so I can make sure I'll be your Mummy forever."

"Me too," said Holly, wrapping her arms around Maura's neck. "Will I wear a fancy dress?"

"We all will," Maura promised, blinking back tears. She kissed Holly's cheek. "Have fun at school today."

~R&I~

When she was back home, she heard someone in front of the house and went to see who It was, hoping it wasn't a reporter. Instead it was Hope, holding three bags of coffee.

"I was going to leave these at your door," she said awkwardly. "We've been saying we should get coffee sometime."

They had been saying that, through Cailin, who Maura had been texting with. Although the wide age gap made it a little difficult to relate, Cailin had been genuinely friendly to Maura since recovering from the kidney transplant, and she seemed to actually want a big sister now. Although they didn't see each other in person too often, Maura was happy to be forming something resembling a sibling bond, and the fact that she wasn't in contact with Hope – a woman she admittedly did not trust – was starting to make things awkward. Hope had expressed a desire to start over with Maura on better terms, and now that Paddy's trial was starting, Maura found herself kind of wanting to talk to her. She might have questionable ethics and an allergy to telling the truth, but Hope was probably the only person on the planet – besides maybe Holly – who understood the complicated feelings Maura had for her biological father.

So she let her in, and Hope looked around, taking in the changes to the house. Her eyes swept over the large rocking horse in the living room, the childish artwork on the walls, the large family portrait hanging over the fireplace. The colorful wooden swing set/play fort was visible in the backyard, and there were colored pencils left out on the kitchen counter.

"A lot's changed since you were last in here," Maura noted.

"Cailin mentioned you and Jane were adopting a child."

"Yes, Holly. She's at school right now." Maura pointed unnecessarily to the picture of the smiling redhead. "Her adoption hearing is next week, on Halloween. We're taking the day off from work and school. The hearing is in the morning, then we're going out to celebrate, and in the evening we're all going trick-or-treating together. We have our costumes all set. It'll be my first time trick-or-treating!"

Hope's eyes widened. "Didn't your adoptive parents take you as a child?"

Maura looked down. "I had a complicated childhood. We traveled a lot, and my mother's British, so she didn't really understand trick-or-treating. My father was gone a lot. I sometimes dressed up for parties, though."

"What will you be dressing up as this year?"

"Well, have you seen the movie _Brave_?"

"I've heard of it."

"It's a new Disney movie about a Scottish princess with curly red hair like Holly's. She's so fixated on it! So naturally she's going to be Princess Merida, and I'm her mother, the queen."

"And Jane?"

Maura couldn't help giggling a little. "Well, in the movie, Merida's mother turns into a bear. So since she has two mothers, Holly decided I would be the mother when she's normal, and Jane would be the mother when she's a bear. So Jane has to wear a bear costume."

Hope laughed. "That should be interesting. Jane doesn't mind?"

Maura smiled proudly. "She'd do just about anything for that little girl."

Hope smiled back. "I already know she would for you."

"She's a wonderful wife and an amazing mother. She's…expecting, actually. Holly's going to be a big sister."

"Really? A lot _has_ changed since I was last here!" Hope gave her a searching look. "I'd love to meet Holly."

"I'm not…ready for that."

Hope nodded, but the hurt was evident in her eyes. "I know I let you down, but I really do care about you, Maura. I _am_ glad you're alive."

"If I weren't, Cailin might not be either."

"That's not the only reason I'm glad."

"I don't know what to believe," Maura admitted.

"Well, I don't have to be here right now, and I am."

Maura bit her lip. "That's true. And we do have one thing in common." She picked up the newspaper, which had Paddy's picture on the front page, next to Maura's picture. She felt fortunate that the governor hadn't decided to replace her with all the negative attention she was bringing to the medical examiner's office, but then she supposed he had bigger things to worry about.

Maura burned her wrist on the espresso machine that morning, and Hope treated the burn, making Maura feel for the first time like she was being mothered by the woman. They had a nice conversation until Maura found herself giving Hope grief over taking Paddy's money for MEND, something Hope insisted was worth the cost. It was something that was starting to bother Maura even more than Hope not wanting her. She had thought when she met her biological mother that she was a good person, everything she had dreamed her birth mother would be. Now she wasn't so sure. If she truly believed Paddy was such an evil man, so evil that it was for the best that his baby had supposedly died, then why did she stay in touch with him, and why did she take his money knowing how he'd gotten it?

But she felt bad later for having given her grief. Maura simply didn't talk to people like that, and she supposed Hope must have felt she was doing the right thing. She _had_ saved a lot of people. There was no point in trying to make her feel bad about it.

Paddy's trial was frustrating. Key witnesses kept turning up dead, and Maura found herself feeling more disgusted than ever to be this man's daughter. Worse, they discovered that Paddy was the one who caused the fire that killed Cavanaugh's wife and their two-year-old son 20 years earlier – and Hope had tended Paddy's burn wounds after the fact. Although she denied it, it was impossible that Hope hadn't put together that Paddy had killed that mother and baby – but not only didn't she turn him in, she remained friendly with him. In some ways, she seemed worse to Maura now than Paddy did. She talked Hope into testifying against him, which was the least Hope could do to try to redeem herself at this point, but any chances of the two of them forming a warm relationship had evaporated, as far as Maura was concerned.

But Halloween came, and Jane, Maura, and Holly all got dressed up and headed to the courthouse, the same family and friends who had been at their wedding in tow. Holly wore a blue velvet dress and shiny gold leather shoes, and she proudly carried Marie Curie into the courthouse with her. The ceremony went off without a hitch and the judge even let Holly bang the gavel at the end, making everything official. Then they all went out for lunch, and family members brought presents for Holly, and soon it was time for them all to get into their Halloween costumes.

"I admit, I never thought about dressing up as a bear for Halloween," Jane said, standing in the bedroom with her hear head in her hands while Maura stood in front of the mirror, adjusting her crown.

"You make a good mama bear," Maura said with an amused smile.

"You're a pretty sexy queen." Jane moved in and rested a paw on Maura's read end, bringing her close for a kiss.

"Are you almost ready?" Holly cried, prancing into the room in her green dress, toy bow in one hand and her treat bucket in the other.

"Almost, I just have to put my bear head on." Jane put on the head and went over to her daughter, scooping her up. "Are you ready to get some candy, Holly Rizzoli-Isles?"

"I am!" said Holly. "But that's not my name!"

"What do you mean, it's not your name? As of eleven this morning, it is!"

"No, my name is Princess Merida!"

"Oh, I'm so sorry, Princess! How could I forget?" Jane carried her out of the room, calling over her shoulder, "Come on, Queen Elinor, the candy is waiting!"

Laughing, Maura followed her two favorite people out of the room and down the stairs, ready to go door-to-door around Beacon Hill. Her life had never felt so full.


	23. Chapter 23

Chapter 23

Episodes 4.14: Just Push Play and 4.15: Food for Thought

" _What_ is in these cookies?" Jane demanded.

"They're gluten-free almond cookies," Maura said, as though there was nothing weird about that.

"Oh, so they're supposed to taste like cardboard," said Jane. "Why are we eating gluten-free cookies? Nobody in this house has whatever that disease is where you can't eat gluten."

"I didn't get them because they're gluten-free. I got them because I like almond cookies, and they happened to be gluten-free. But that's not why they taste bland to you. They just happen to have only a fraction of the amount of sugar you're used to cookies having."

"So they're not real cookies."

"They're the kind of cookies that won't make Holly's baby teeth rot out." The five-year-old was already in bed, but Jane and Maura were still awake, waiting for Frankie to get his newly repaired café racer all set up in the backyard so Jane could be impressed by it.

Jane patted her big, pregnant belly. She was six months along now. "The baby doesn't have teeth yet, and he wants real cookies."

"The baby doesn't care what you eat. All he gets are the nutrients." But Maura smiled indulgently, affectionately rubbing Jane's belly.

"Okay, it's ready!" Frankie called from the backyard. The two women went outside in the chilly March night and beheld the shiny motorcycle. It had been fun watching Maura help Frankie fix it up (well, to be truthful, Maura was fixing it while Frankie watched, but Frankie liked to tell people he had fixed it with Maura's help) in the evenings after work. Jane thought it was unbelievably sexy that a woman as feminine as Maura could rebuild an engine like it was nothing. So much for that being a man's job.

But before Jane could say much about the motorcycle, the back gate opened and Tommy walked through…with Frank. Frank, who none of them had heard from for over a year.

"Jane," he said. "You're…you're pregnant."

"I am," she said, nostrils flaring. "Not that it's any of your business."

"Jane, come on. You don't have to make this difficult. A new grandchild is wonderful news. Who's the father?"

Jane reached for her wife's hand. "Maura."

He stared at her. "Jane, don't be funny. You're having one of those lab babies, whatever they call them?"

"I'm having a baby with my wife. If you wanted to know more, you should have been part of the family for the past year. I've done a lot of things you don't know about, Pop."

"Okay. Well, that's why I'm back, to catch up with everyone."

Catch up? After all this time, he wanted to catch up? Jane wasn't having it, and neither was Frankie. When Angela got home with Cavanaugh in tow, they weren't amused either. After a brief yelling match, in which Frank further infuriated his daughter by saying he didn't want to fight in front of "people" because of Maura being there, they finally convinced him to leave. Then Jane and Maura got called to a crime scene.

When they got back home, Frank was on their front stoop, drinking a bottle of vodka.

"What are you doing here?" Jane asked him.

"I needed to talk to you."

"This is my house, Pop. If you insult my wife or my family, you leave."

"I'm not here to insult anyone." He looked at her as if struggling with something. "Jane, I got cancer."

Maura looked at her. "You should let him come in and talk to you, Jane."

"But Ma's in there watching Holly."

"She's probably asleep in the guest room by now."

"She better not have Cavanaugh with her up there," Jane grumbled as she unlocked the front door. Maura went upstairs to check on Holly while Jane led her father to the living room.

"I know we didn't leave things in a good place the last time we talked," Frank said.

"No, we didn't," Jane agreed. "You couldn't accept my relationship with Maura, the most important thing in my life. I knew better than to even invite you to my wedding. Now I've been married over a year, and I haven't seen you once the whole time. Maura and I have adopted a little girl, and we have a baby boy coming in three months. I have my own family now, Pop. My daughter asks about you, and I don't know what to tell her."

"So you're having a son?"

"Yes."

"I'll have two grandsons?"

"And a granddaughter."

"Yeah, but she's not my real granddaughter. This one you're having, he's family. I care about my grandkids no matter how they get here, even if you did make him in a lab."

They didn't make him in a lab, but it was none of his business how Jane and Maura's baby was conceived. "Have you met T.J. yet?"

"I will tomorrow."

"He just had his first birthday. How did it take you a year to come meet your grandchild?"

"Jane, I'm not here to argue. I'm here because I need my family."

She studied his face. "Well first, you're going to have to start treating us like family, even the ones who aren't related to you by blood. You haven't even asked what your granddaughter's name is."

~R&I~

The next day, Frank came to the café asking Angela to come with him to his oncologist appointment. He suggested they go out to dinner that night, "just the family," but Angela insisted that if they were going to do dinner, they were going to do it at Jane and Maura's, with the _whole_ family. Jane said she needed to talk to Maura first, but Angela went on making her plans anyway, and Jane got so busy with work, she forgot to even tell Maura.

"Well I'll make dinner tonight, and you can just relax," Maura suggested kindly when Jane was venting out everything at the end of the day. Frank's blood results didn't look good, although Maura insisted it wasn't the most reliable test.

"Oh!" cried Jane. "I was kind of going to say the same thing to you."

Maura gave her a puzzled look. "What does that mean?"

Jane made a face. "Ma invited Pop to dinner at our house tonight. I was gonna ask you if it was okay, but I forgot, and she's probably cooking by now."

"Oh. Well, I guess it's okay, as long as you're up for it."

"I am, but…do you think we should let Holly meet him? He doesn't really seem enthusiastic about having an adopted grandchild. Where he comes from, family means blood, and that's it."

"Well, maybe meeting her will change his mind. She's hard not to love."

"And if it doesn't? What will it do to her to meet her grandpa and then have him be a jerk? What if she likes him and then he runs off again?"

"She knows you have a complicated relationship with your father. We can probably keep her expectations low."

"Maybe. I just…it's bad enough that he treats us this way. I can't stand the thought of him being like that with my kids."

"I get the impression that the cancer has made him want to make amends. If you don't give him this chance, I think you'll regret it. If you give it to him and he blows it, then at least it's his fault, not yours."

"Yeah, I guess you're right. But I've made it clear if he disrespects my family in any way, he's out."

Maura kissed her. "And I trust you to defend us."

~R&I~

Dinner was tense right from the beginning. Angela cooked Frank's favorites, but invited Cavanaugh. Maura was concerned about the lack of vegetables, though Angela promised they could all eat extra kale the next day. Frank brought a bottle of wine, which no one thought was a good idea, and for much of dinner, the only one trying to make conversation was Maura. Frank and Cavanaugh were too busy having a stare down, and Holly was too wary of the tension coming from the adults to be her usual talkative self. Things officially went south when Frank, his tongue loosened by alcohol, began listing the ways his children had disappointed him, causing both of his sons to storm out. Tommy was useless, Frankie was a quitter, and Jane…

"Jane was the one I never thought I had to worry about," he said, "and it turns out, she's the one I should have been most worried about. I never would have imagined her like this, planning to raise a son with another woman. How's he going to learn to be a man? Are you gonna put him in dresses?"

"Pop," Jane said quietly, her cheeks burning. "I think you should leave."

"I'm not leaving. I need to talk to my wife."

"She's not your wife no more, Frank," Cavanaugh said, standing up. "And you're gonna show some respect, starting now."

Frank stood up as well, nearly knocking his chair over in his haste. "Yeah? Come on, you gonna make me?"

"Yeah," said Cavanaugh, coming around the table towards Frank. Jane jumped up and got between them just as they were about to come to blows, right there in their elegant dining room.

"Stop it!" she yelled. "Just stop it, both of you!" Out of the corner of her eye, she saw a frightened Holly climb into Maura's lap. Maura looked frightened as well.

"Come on, Sean, Janie's pregnant," Angela pleaded, approaching her boyfriend from the other side.

"Just step outside, Pop. We're not doing this here. This is _my_ house," Jane reminded him.

"Both of you, _get out of my house_!"

Everyone turned to see who the fierce voice belonged to, and they all registered shock when they saw it was Maura. The normally soft-spoken blonde was standing now, her daughter in her arms, while Holly clung to her limpet-style. Maura's fear had been replaced by fury, and Jane realized she was looking at Mama Bear Maura.

"Get out!" Maura repeated. "You're scaring my daughter, and you're letting a pregnant woman stand between you while you threaten to fight each other! You should be _ashamed_!"

"She's right," said Angela. "That little girl has been through enough. You should go, Frank."

"I'm going too." Cavanaugh stormed out, but Frank lingered for a moment.

"I was just kidding around," he insisted.

"All that crap you say to your family, you can't ever take that back, Pop," Jane told him, fighting back tears. "Please, just go."

Reluctantly, he walked out the door. Jane turned around. Only her wife, daughter, and mother were left in the house.

"Holly, I'm sorry baby," she said softly, moving a flaming red curl out of the child's face. "It's okay. They're gone now."

Holly finally lifted her face from Maura's shoulder. "I didn't know your dad was like my dad," she said in a shaky voice.

"He's not, I promise he's not," Jane assured her. "He's never hit anyone before. I would never let him in this house if he had. But I know the yelling was scary."

"And it's ridiculous that a pregnant woman had to get between those men to stop them from fighting." Maura glared at Angela. "You're welcome to have Cavanaugh in the guest house as often as you like, but he's not coming back into my house until he learns to control his temper."

"He was just trying to defend us."

"By physically fighting a man in front of our five-year-old, and threatening to fight even when a pregnant woman was standing in front of him? Jane could have been hurt. The _baby_ could have been hurt."

Angela nodded painfully. "I'll talk to him."

"And what about your dad?" Holly asked Jane. "He's not coming back, is he?"

"No, sweetie. I won't let him come back here," Jane promised. Her heart ached, but if her father couldn't stop drinking, then he just couldn't be around Holly, even if he _was_ dying. She couldn't let the kid keep getting traumatized.

Holly wiped her tears away. "I'm going to go find Marie Curie. She might be scared from all the yelling." She went upstairs, and Jane turned to her mother.

"I'm so sorry, Ma."

"I'm sorry too," Angela said tearfully, pulling Jane into a hug. "You shouldn't be dealing with that kind of stress while you're pregnant."

"I'm just sorry that your husband turned out to be such an asshole." Jane pulled back and looked at Maura. "And I'm sorry you have to put up with us nutballs."

Maura finally smiled. "Jane, don't be sorry. You're _my_ nutballs. You're my family."

She stepped forwards and wrapped both Jane and Angela in a hug. Jane held her wife tight, wondering how she could still be grateful to have married into the Rizzoli family on a night like this.

~R&I~

When Jane and Maura came home from work the next night, they found Frank waiting by the garage.

"I'm not letting you in," Jane said immediately.

"I'm here to apologize," he said. "To you, Jane, and you too, Maura. I know how I acted was wrong."

"Yes, it was," said Jane. "And I appreciate the apology, but I still can't let you in. You frightened my daughter. Her father was abusive, and he eventually killed her mother. She was in the building when it happened. You and Cavanaugh almost fighting, that really freaked her out. She had to sleep in our bed last night. I promised her I wouldn't let you back in."

"I didn't mean to scare her."

"Well, you didn't exactly try to keep it together so you wouldn't scare anyone. I have a family to protect now. I can forgive you, but the damage is still done, and I can't – I _won't_ – let my little girl be traumatized again. That was her first time meeting you, Pop. She thinks that's the kind of person you are."

Frank nodded reluctantly. "I'd like to talk to your mother. Can she come out here?"

"I'll go in and tell her," said Maura, leaving father and daughter alone.

"I'm sorry for the things I said about your family," Frank said. "I don't understand it. The way I was raised, family is a husband and wife, and the children who come from that union. That's a real family. All these newfangled things with two women and adopted kids and test tube babies…I don't understand it. But I know I love you, and if it all means that much to you, I can try to understand, or at least respect it."

"I appreciate that, Pop," said Jane, feeling a lump rise in her throat. "You've missed so much. Getting to know Maura, Holly…getting to know _me_ , as my real self. I wasted so many years staying in the closet because I knew how you felt about gay people, trying to be the person you wanted me to be. I didn't want you to know I was the thing you hated."

"I don't hate gay people, and I could never hate _you_. I just—"

"I know. You don't understand it."

Angela came outside and looked at Frank expectantly.

"I'm sorry, Angela," he said.

"You should be."

He faltered. "The cancer isn't stage 4 after all. It's stage 2."

"That's great news!" said Angela, relief showing in spite of everything. "Maura said stages 1 and 2 are very treatable."

"Yeah, the doctor says I have a good prognosis. But I've been thinking…maybe I should move back to Boston."

Angela shook her head. "Things can't go back to how they used to be, Frank. We've all moved on. Your life is in Florida now. I've moved on without you. The choices you made, they can't be undone."

"But you can visit any time you want," Jane said gently. "I'll meet you at the Robber or at Tommy's. You just can't come here, not unless a lot of things change, and that takes time."

Frank swallowed. "Okay then. Well…I'll be in touch."

"Yeah, maybe don't wait another year before you contact us." Jane hugged her father goodbye, feeling like it was the goodbye she should have gotten before he ran off to Florida in the first place. She wasn't sure she would ever forgive him for that, but she knew she would never stop loving him.

Why did family have to be so complicated?

~R&I~

Unfortunately, it wasn't just Jane's family that was complicated. Maura was still in touch with Hope, but to say their relationship was strained was putting it mildly. Hope was always the one to call Maura, and Maura was cordial towards her, but hardly warm. They hadn't seen each other in person since Paddy's trial, and Holly certainly wasn't calling her Grandma.

One day in early April, Maura had what could only be called a bad day at the office. To start with, they had a murder victim who had been poisoned, and Maura's nose started bleeding just from inhaling the toxin on his body. She had yelled at everyone to get back until a hazmat team could get there, particularly emphasizing the need for Jane to steer clear of the body. It had been hard for Jane not to run to her wife and take her in her arms while she sat there with blood running down her face, but she had the baby to think about. _Fuck_ , she thought to herself. _Parenthood is hard_.

Fortunately, Maura was okay. Unfortunately, she had another scare later that same day. Apparently during Paddy's trial she'd gone on another stress-related shopping binge and ordered a new coffee maker and a bunch of fancy coffee for her office. It had been backordered for so long she'd forgotten about it, and they ended up sending it from a supplier in Cyprus. When Maura picked up one of the strange boxes and heard a click, she got worried that it might be a bomb, and the building had to be evacuated while Maura stood very still holding the package.

Jane wasn't in the lobby at the time, and she was horrified when she found out Maura wasn't able to evacuate like everyone else. She wanted to stay there with her, to help her hold the package still, and she would have insisted on doing so…if she weren't seven months pregnant.

"I'm going to be glad when this baby gets here and I can be a normal person again," she griped to Frost and Korsak while they were standing outside. Frankie had been in the lobby when Maura picked up the threatening package, and he had insisted on doing what Jane couldn't: staying with Maura and helping her hold the package steady. Jane was grateful to him for that, until he started looking all gooey-eyed at Maura. Jane realized he would never have been that close to Maura before, and her hotness was enough to overwhelm anyone, but still. Jane was going to fucking punch him in the face.

When the "bomb" proved to be a coffee maker and everyone was allowed back inside, Jane bypassed Frankie and took her wife into her arms.

"I'm so glad this turned out to be just coffee, but I hope you know you're never going to live this down," Jane told her.

"I know," said Maura with a sheepish smile.

"Ah well. It's a good thing you're so cute." Jane kissed her. "And it was so nice of Frankie to help you hold onto that box."

"I told him not to, but he insisted, and it did start to get really hard to hold my arms up as time passed. It was nice of him to stay. But I guess that's what a brother does, right?"

"Yeah," agreed Jane. "He'd have done the same for me. Well, except for the weird face-rubbing part. I'm not sure he would have done that for me."

"I had an itch on my face and he thought he could scratch it with his stubble."

"Why couldn't he let you take one hand off the box and scratch it?"

"I was afraid to."

"Didn't it feel uncomfortable for him to rub his stubbly face on you?"

"A bit. I'm really not used to stubble anymore." She smiled lovingly at Jane, touching her smooth face.

"Well, Frankie needs to keep his face off my wife's face. It's not cool."

"He was only trying to help," Maura promised. "Anyway, once I get these boxes downstairs, I'm going to set up for the autopsy."

"You don't have to do it, Maura. Call in Dr. Popov or whoever."

"It's fine. I'll wear a hazmat suit. You, on the other hand, will have to watch from the crime lab until the autopsy room has been fully decontaminated. You and our baby aren't coming anywhere near this body."

"Fine. Let me know when you're ready."

Jane went upstairs until she got the text from Maura, and then she got in the elevator to go down to the basement. She was surprised when she saw Frankie on the elevator as well.

"Where do you think you're going?" she asked him.

"I was gonna go check on Maura, make sure she's okay after her scare."

"She's fine. She's getting ready to start on autopsy on a poisoning victim. You can't go down there."

"Okay, fine. Why are you so pissed?"

"Look, it was really nice of you to stay with Maura. You know I wanted to be the one there, but with the baby and everything, I couldn't be there. Plus even without the baby she probably would have yelled at me that we were going to make Holly on orphan again. So, I'm glad you stepped in. She shouldn't have had to be alone."

"Thanks. So, why are you so pissed?"

"Because you rubbed your face on my wife and then stared at her like you were in some sappy romance scene! My _wife_ , Frankie!"

"I wasn't hitting on your wife! I was helping her with an itch!"

"Hey, I get it, she's super hot. I can't blame you for noticing that when you're right up in her face."

"So now you understand?"

"So now you admit it?"

"No! Why do you always think everyone is hitting on your wife? You get on Tommy's case too."

"Not so much anymore. He's gotten better with the flirting. But you…I never expected that from you!"

"I didn't flirt with her!"

"You wanted to!"

"You know what I think this is? I think your pregnancy hormones are making you act crazy!" The elevator doors opened, and Jane got out. Frankie stayed on, frantically pushing a button for one of the upper floors.

Maybe it _was_ just hormones making Jane annoyed with everything at the moment. Having a baby made her feel closer to Maura and to Holly, her little family. It even made her feel closer to her mom, because now she understood her better. But everyone else? They were getting on her damn nerves.

So she wasn't too thrilled when Hope approached her outside the station the next day. Jane usually tried to be cordial to Hope even though she didn't like her, because she did give birth to Maura, after all. She would be happier if Maura just cut her out of her life, but Maura was unwilling to do that, and Jane knew she had to support her decisions. But she just didn't have it in her to be nice today. Instead she gave Hope an earful about her treatment of Maura, and when Hope said she needed Maura's forgiveness, Jane snapped that Maura knew where to find her if she ever felt like doing that.

She didn't tell Maura until later, when they met for lunch at the Dirty Robber and Tommy showed them the engagement ring he planned to give Lydia, whom he was dating for real now. When he left to go show Angela (Frankie, who seemed afraid to even talk to Maura now, left with him), Maura wistfully sighed that she wished she had a mother she could run to with exciting news.

"Maura, I know Constance isn't the warm and fuzzy type, but she loves you," said Jane.

"I know, but she's so far away, and she's always so…formal. Her reactions when I told her we were getting married, and when I told her we were adopting Holly, and when I told her you were pregnant, were all the same. 'That's wonderful news, darling. I'm so happy for you.'"

Her impression of Constance's voice was so dead-on, Jane had to hold back a chuckle. It was true that Jane's mother-in-law did not tend to display a lot of emotion. "If it helps, I think she really is happy for you."

"I know she is, but…I always used to imagine that when I found my birth mother, that she would be everything my adoptive mother isn't. She'd be warm and affectionate, and I could talk to her about anything. Which is what Hope _is_ like, for Cailin."

"Hope came to see me today," Jane blurted out. "I think she wants to make amends."

"What? Well she doesn't need to. I'm over it."

"Of course you're not over it, Maura, and you shouldn't be."

"I should be, and so should she. Anyway, I talk to her when she calls. What more does she want?"

"You talk to her like Constance talks to…everyone. She wants a real relationship with you."

"I don't think it's possible, after everything she's done. She's not a good person. She's more like Paddy than I realized."

"Yeah, but the things she did, that's not about you, and maybe she's really trying to do better now. No one's going to judge you if you change your mind about her."

Maura shook her head. "I don't understand why you would be Hope's advocate."

"I'm not. I'm _your_ advocate. Look, Hope knows how I feel about her, and she still swallowed her pride and came to see me. I think she really wants to do better for you. I think she regrets blocking you out of her life for so long. And I think, if you gave her a chance, maybe she could be the mother you always wanted her to be. And if she doesn't, well at least you can say you tried. And you'll still have my mom, I mean she loves you like you're her own daughter. You can tell her stuff."

Maura smiled sadly. "I love your mom, but it's not quite the same as having my own I can go to."

"I know. And I can tell it bums you out, which is why I want you to give Hope a chance even if she doesn't deserve it."

Maura looked down. "If I say something, can you promise not to take it the wrong way?"

"Sure."

"I love that you're pregnant. I've really enjoyed taking care of you, as much as you'll let me anyway, and I'm really glad this happened because I want a baby with 'Jane DNA.' I have for a long time. But…I'm still sad that I never got pregnant. I was looking forward to having one biological relative I can actually be close to, to carrying a baby inside of me. I wouldn't change what we did, of course, but…"

"I never thought I'd say this, but maybe you still can."

Maura looked up. "Really?"

"Yeah, really. I was looking forward to seeing you pregnant, having a little baby who looks like you. Maybe when this one's a little older…"

"Oh!" Maura's eyes shone. "I would love to, but…maybe we should see how things are after this baby gets here. We might not want a third child once we see how challenging two children are."

"Maybe not, but we can consider it, right?"

"Yes, of course!" Maura smiled. "We could have a big family like yours."

"I went to Catholic school. Three kids is not a big family there."

"Well it's a big family compared to mine!"

"Yeah." Jane took Maura's hand. "I love you so much that it makes me want to do things I never thought I'd do. _Crazy_ things, like maybe having three kids when I used to want none."

Maura grinned. "I love you that much too!"

That night, when they were all at home trying cake samples Angela had made for Tommy and Lydia's upcoming wedding, Hope came over to beg for Maura's forgiveness, and Maura decided to give her a chance. Jane knew it might not work out. She knew Hope might not be a better person now, no matter what she claimed, and she knew Maura might get hurt again. But it meant a lot to her to see Maura giving her a chance, allowing herself to be vulnerable. It meant she knew Jane would be there to catch her if she fell.


	24. Chapter 24

Chapter 23

Episodes 5.1: A New Day and 5.2: …Goodbye

Jane had just hit the eight months mark when they caught a missing baby case. That was the sort of case that would have tugged at Jane's heartstrings at any point in her career, but with her pregnancy hormones raging wild and her own baby coming soon, it was particularly disturbing to her now. Maura felt for her, but she admired how tirelessly her wife worked to find the baby, and they all breathed a sigh of relief when he turned up safe and sound. Maura was just waiting for Jane to finish wrapping up the case so they could go home when the call came in.

She was called to the scene of a traffic accident where there had been a fatality. It happened all the time. She would make a quick trip to the scene, pronounce death, determine if autopsy would be necessary, and go home. She wasn't expecting the victim to be someone she knew. When she saw the body, she knew she had to call Jane before doing anything else.

Her heart pounded as she waited for Jane to answer. She didn't want to have to give her this news, to shatter her whole evening. She didn't want it to be true, period.

"Hey, Maura," said Jane as she answered. "I'll be down in a minute. I was just saying goodbye to the baby."

Maura's heart twisted. She knew Jane had found the baby, and she thought it was sweet that she had said goodbye to him. She knew Jane was thinking of her own baby, safe inside her.

"Jane, I'm at the scene of an accident," she said, her voice heavy with pain. She paused, dreading what she had to say next.

"Who was it?" Jane asked quietly.

"Jane, it's Frost. He must have been just getting back into town from his trip, and—"

"Is he…"

"He's gone, Jane." He was killed on impact. She couldn't bring herself to say the words "killed on impact."

"Where are you?" Jane demanded.

"Congress and State. But Jane—"

"I'll be right there."

She hung up before Maura could say anything else, and Maura knew exactly what she was going to do: drive out here in a rush, thinking that somehow if she got here fast enough, she could make everything okay, that she would see for herself that Frost wasn't really dead. Maura cursed herself for not saying more explicitly that he was dead, unquestionably so. She called Korsak next and asked him to make sure Jane didn't come alone.

Jane arrived with both Korsak and Frankie trailing in her wake, charging as best she could with her big pregnant belly to "fix" the situation the way she always fixed things. Maura made sure Frost's face was covered before turning to face her wife.

"He's gone, Jane," she said miserably. "There's nothing you can do."

Jane didn't say anything. She just stared at the covered body on the ground, knowing it was her friend and partner, while Maura gathered her in her arms and held her tight.

~R&I~

Jane refused to stay home the next day. Maura wanted her to. All she wanted to do was curl up on the couch and hold Jane close to her all day, to be grateful for what she still had. But Jane wanted to keep busy, and Maura certainly didn't want to sit around all day by herself, so they went to work.

Frost's mother arrived in town, overwhelmed at the prospect of planning her son's funeral, and Jane volunteered to do it for her. They decided to divide up funeral chores, with Jane writing the eulogy since she knew him best out of all the cops at BPD. Maura cut her own roses to do a flower arrangement. But none of the planning changed the emptiness they felt. Frost was their friend. He had been at their wedding, at Holly's adoption. Holly adored him. He always had Jane's back on the job, which made Maura worry less. His absence left a giant gaping hole in their universe.

All the funeral planning made Maura think about how important it was to make sure her family knew what her last wishes were. When they left work that evening, she told Jane her plans of being buried at sea, but Jane didn't seem enthusiastic about the idea.

"I'd have to get all kinds of permits and stuff. Just picked something more landlocked!" she pleaded as Maura locked up her office.

"What do _you_ want?" Maura asked, knowing full well that Jane would comply with her wishes no matter how much she hated them.

"What I want is to die one day before you so I don't have to go out on a boat."

Maura broke into a smile. That wasn't really very helpful in terms of funeral planning, but she knew Jane well enough to identify her less obvious declarations of love. What she meant was that she didn't want to live a single day without her wife, which Maura thought was actually very sweet.

She led Jane out the back way so she wouldn't have to walk as far, saying goodbye to lab employees on her way out. When she passed Todd, a morgue assistant who was just coming in to work the night shift, he told her how sorry he was to hear about Frost.

"I met him a few times," he said. "He seemed nice."

"Yes, he was nice," Maura agreed, walking out through the garage where the van that transported dead bodies was kept. She and Jane walked in silence for a moment as she thought about those simple words. Frost _was_ nice; he was one of the nicest people she'd ever known. They had formed a bond early on when he had told her how the other cops made fun of him for his weak stomach. Although Maura was not easily grossed out, she understood how Frost felt because she had been teased mercilessly throughout her life. It was the reason she preferred dead people to live ones. There were only a few live people she felt comfortable enough with to prefer them over dead ones, and Frost had been one of those few.

As the realization crashed over her that she had lost a member of her already tiny inner circle, she began to gasp for air and then to sob. She grabbed Jane's arm to steady herself.

"Oh, Maura," said Jane softly, wrapping her arms tightly around her. "I know. I know."

~R&I~

"I um, I had a thought, and I should talk to Frost's mom about it, but I need to talk to you first," Jane told Maura the night before the funeral, when they were in bed.

"What was your thought?" Maura asked gently, setting her book aside.

Jane looked down, slowly rubbing her belly. "Well, we still haven't settled on a name for this baby."

"You want to name him after Frost."

Jane nodded. "Only if you want to. I don't want to find out years down the line that you were only doing it to make me feel better."

"I would never give our child a name I didn't want just to make you feel better." Maura moved a strand of Jane's hair out of her face. "Barry or Barold?"

"Barry. He hated being called Barold."

"I like Barold."

"If it's Barold, I'm backing out."

Maura chuckled. "I like Barry too. It means 'spear.'"

Jane turned her head. "So, you would do it? You would call our son Barry?"

"Yes. I think Frost is a wonderful namesake."

Jane smiled sadly. "I want to ask his mom how she feels about it first. I'm hoping to stay in touch with her, and if she thinks my son being named after hers is freaky instead of nice, then I'm not gonna do it."

"We'll ask her tomorrow." Maura kissed her. "I love you so much, Jane."

Jane snuggled in closer. "I love you too. I love you more all the time."

"Me too," Maura said with a sleepy smile.

~R&I~

Maura sat beside Jane in the front row at the church, holding a tearful Holly on her lap. Holly had a little police officer action figure that she had always called "Detective Frost" because she thought it looked like him, and she clutched it in her hand, keeping her face pressed to Maura's chest so as not to look at any of the pictures of Frost. She just wasn't ready for that yet.

Jane gave a beautiful eulogy, and tears trickled down Maura's face as she listened, watching the slideshow Jane had put together. There was Frost on a rooftop in Santorini, standing next to Jane and Maura in their wedding dresses. There was a picture of him at the courthouse holding Holly, who was wearing her little blue velvet Gucci dress and holding her new adoption certificate. There was even a picture from the little shower the other cops had thrown for Jane at the Robber, Frost sitting next to a very pregnant Jane, trying to feel the baby kick…a baby he would never meet.

But the picture that made Maura cry the most was one of her and Jane with Frost on an ordinary day. Jane wasn't pregnant in that one. They were just standing outside the office, laughing uproariously over something – Maura couldn't remember what. Korsak had taken the picture while trying to figure out how to work his new smartphone. This picture showed the Frost Maura remembered best, the one she saw every day while working homicide cases: the pleasant, intelligent young man who could always make them laugh. This was what she would miss the most.

After the burial, when Angela had taken Holly to the car, Jane took Maura's hand and the two of them approached Camille and Robin.

"Thank you for putting together such a lovely service," Camille said, hugging Jane. "This is exactly what he would have wanted."

"I hope so," said Jane softly. "Maura and I wanted to ask you something."

"Of course."

Jane patted her belly. "Well, we have a baby boy due next month, and we were thinking of maybe naming him Barry, but I didn't know how you would feel about it."

Camille smiled painfully, blinking back tears. "I think he would love that. He talked about this baby like it would be his nephew, and Holly has been like his niece. I think he would feel honored to have your baby named after him."

"I think it would be an honor for us to be able to use his name for our son," Maura said. "But we don't want to do it if it makes you uncomfortable or feels too soon to you."

"No, no, I think it's wonderful," Camille promised.

"Just as long as you don't call him Barold," said Robin. "He _hated_ that."

"It was his father who picked the name Barold," said Camille. "I was the one who started calling him Barry."

"We would just name him Barry from the outset," Maura assured them.

"Then I think that would be perfect," said Camille. "As long as I get lots of pictures of little Barry!"

"You will!" Jane promised. "You will. We'll keep in touch."

Angela took Holly out to eat after the funeral to give her a little break from all the sadness surrounding her, but Jane and Maura decided to go home and rest. Jane just wanted a relaxing bath in the jacuzzi tub, which sounded like a great idea to Maura. Jane grabbed the mail on the way in.

"I'm glad I have you," she remarked to Maura. "It would suck to be alone right now."

Maura gave her a quick hug and kiss. "I wouldn't want to be alone right now either. But with our growing family, I don't think we'll have to worry about that for a while."

"I don't even pee alone right now, thanks to little Barry," Jane remarked. Suddenly she gasped.

"What is it?"

Jane held it up wordlessly. It was a postcard from San Diego, one of the places Frost had visited on his vacation. She flipped it over and read the little message from her friend.

Jane had teared up during the eulogy. She'd teared up when giving the news to Holly, and when getting the news from Maura. But she hadn't had a good cry yet, a real one, until now. Maura watched as her wife collapsed onto the couch, shuddering with sobs, her hand over her mouth as she still clutched the postcard.

There wasn't anything Maura could do but sit down next to her and hold her close, letting Jane rest her head on her chest as she sobbed.

"I know," Maura whispered, gently stroking Jane's hair. "I know."


	25. Chapter 25

Chapter 25

Episode 5.4: Doomsday

"Please tell me why I'm not at home eating nachos."

Jane was very, very pregnant – the baby would be coming any day now – and very, very cranky. In addition to that, she was craving nachos. She had already had a stressful day at work, which had involved spotting retirement papers on Korsak's desk, something she was particularly cranky about because for one, she didn't want to lose Korsak so soon after Frost's death, and two, she couldn't believe he hadn't told her he was thinking of retiring! Maura insisted that the papers didn't necessarily mean he was retiring soon, and she thought Jane should just talk to him about it, but she kept hoping he would bring it up on his own. Meanwhile, all she wanted to do was go home and eat some nachos, but instead Maura had brought her to some mechanic's garage to see a "surprise."

Jane _was_ genuinely surprised when she saw the motorcycle. Maura stood behind it, grinning excitedly and stroking the bike like it was her new lover. Jane hadn't even realized Maura had a motorcycle license, although she'd found out only a few months earlier that Maura was a certified acupuncturist, so she wasn't as surprised as she maybe should have been. Maura had done all kinds of weird things in her single years, and Jane was still learning about them. But she certainly wasn't expecting Maura to turn into a biker chick when they were about to have a baby.

"I've been thinking about preparing for the future, since we never know what the future might hold," Maura said excitedly.

 _That's for sure_ , thought Jane. _I certainly wasn't expecting tonight to hold my wife's midlife crisis._ But all she said was, "What's that?"

"It's a custom sidecar," Maura said proudly.

"Are you starting a petty cab company?"

"It's for you!"

Jane stared. "Yay?"

"This could really be useful! What if you go into labor and traffic is gridlocked? We could drive on the sidewalk with this if we need to!"

Jane had a vision of herself having labor pains while riding in the sidecar while Maura drove her flashy new motorcycle on the sidewalks of Boston. She _really_ hoped that was not what the future held.

"Are you using this pregnancy to justify one of your impulse buys?" she asked.

Maura made a face. "Maybe. But, after you've recovered from childbirth, you could ride on the seat with me. That might be fun."

Jane couldn't help smiling. Biker Chick Maura did sound pretty hot. "You know I'm gonna say yes," she said. "Just like you're going to say yes when I tell you to take me home and feed me nachos."

Maura grinned. "What color helmet do you want?"

~R&I~

Jane was sick and tired of being pregnant. Not only was she insanely uncomfortable, but she missed being able to do the things that only non-pregnant people could do. Watching Maura drink wine made her feel very wistful. She felt even more wistful when a man at the Dirty Robber sent her a glass of wine while she was having lunch with Maura (clearly he had only seen her behind the table and hadn't noticed her giant belly). Maura had sent the glass of wine back while telling the man Jane was a lesbian, which unfortunately seemed only to interest him more as he looked eagerly between the two women, apparently expecting to get two for the price of one. Then Maura told him Jane was also pregnant, and he immediately lost interest.

But much worse than the wine was not being able to do things at work that the other cops were doing. She was allowed to look around crime scenes, interview witnesses, and do all the desk work she could want, but if there was anything exciting to do, such as chasing after a bad guy, she had to let Korsak do it, or Frankie, who was filling in for Frost until they could find a replacement. It made Jane crazy when they all went storming off and she had to just sit in the squad room. She didn't fight it, though. The baby was worth protecting, and if she wouldn't take Holly somewhere, then she certainly couldn't take little unborn Barry there either.

The day after Maura suddenly decided she needed a motorcycle, Jane and Korsak went back to a crime scene to look around some more – an activity that should have been perfectly safe, even for a pregnant woman. Jane picked that moment to blurt out that she'd seen Korsak's retirement papers, and they were in the middle of a heated argument when they walked into the house. Seconds after they walked in, there was a blast, and they were both thrown to the ground.

Fortunately, Jane's injuries were limited to a few small cuts on her face. The paramedics said the baby's heartbeat sounded normal, and he was moving around normally. Jane didn't mention that she was having some cramping now. She'd been having mild contractions off and on for weeks, which everyone told her was normal, and she hoped this was just more of that.

"Jane!" Maura cried frantically when she arrived at the scene. "Oh Jane! Are you okay?"

"Yeah," said Jane, sitting in the back of the ambulance beside Korsak. "I'm okay. They said I'm okay. And they said the baby seems okay too. I just fell down is all, and I got a few little cuts to my face from flying debris. Everything's fine."

Maura sat down beside Jane and put her arms around her. "I was so scared when Korsak called and told me you'd both been in an explosion."

"It's fine. He's fine too."

"I'll be right back," said Maura, giving Jane a kiss on the cheek before running to her car. She came back with her medical bag and then pulled out her stethoscope.

"Maura, the EMTs already did that!"

"I just want to hear for myself." She listened carefully to Jane's stomach for what felt like a full minute before looking up at Jane. "His heart sounds normal." She couldn't help smiling a little.

"I literally just sort of fell down. My body should have protected him, right?"

"Yes," Maura conceded. "Do you feel okay?"

"Uh huh," Jane assured her, ignoring the contraction that was starting. If she could hide it, then it wasn't strong enough to be worried about.

Maura breathed a sigh of relief and put her stethoscope away. "You were lucky."

"I know I'm lucky. Look who I'm married to."

Maura gave her an exasperated _I-know-what-you're-trying-to-do_ smile. "I think you should go ahead and start your maternity leave."

"What? Maura, I'm not hurt! My plan was to work until I went into labor!"

"I know, but this incident has proven that even visiting crime scenes can be dangerous for you. This is our baby we're talking about. We can't take any chances."

Jane groaned. "Can I at least finish this case? I think we're almost done."

"If you can do it from the station. If you _must_ work, I want you working at a desk, with me nearby so I can keep an eye on you."

"You're worse than my mother."

"I'm _his_ mother." She pointed to Jane's belly.

"Fine. So can you take me back to the station to finish the case?"

"Don't you think you should rest after your incident?"

"I feel fine. Look, if it's gonna be my last case before maternity leave, I want to finish it. Then I can have a clear head when I go into labor."

Maura smiled reluctantly. "Okay, fine. But I _will_ be keeping an eye on you."

~R&I~

Jane's contractions intensified as the day passed, but she continued trying to hide them. She was really hoping to put off having to say anything to Maura until the next day so perhaps Maura would think Jane was naturally going into labor and that the explosion had nothing to do with it – which might even be true, although the timing did seem suspicious. Every time Maura came upstairs to check on her, Jane plastered on a smile, putting Maura's hand on her belly if there was any kicking at all from the baby.

Once Holly was in bed that night, they went outside to admire Maura's motorcycle. "It's because of Frankie, isn't it?" Jane said. "You're jealous of his motorcycle."

"Well, fixing up his café racer did make me nostalgic for the Triumph I drove back in medical school. I sold it after graduation, but I did think at the time that perhaps I would get another Triumph someday. I just didn't realize I would have such a beautiful woman to drive around on it."

Jane chuckled, carefully lowering herself into the sidecar. "I guess I might as well break this in."

"I'll go make us drinks. As it happens, there's a drink called the sidecar! Yours will be virgin, of course."

"Of course." Jane settled back in the sidecar as Maura went back in. To be quite honest, she wasn't sure she could get back out on her own. She certainly hoped she wouldn't need to go to the hospital like this.

While she was waiting for Maura, a sharp contraction hit, stronger than any she had had so far. She drew in her breath, clutching her stomach. It was just passing when Maura came back out.

"Here we are, sidecar and virgin sidecar," Maura said cheerfully, handing Jane her drink before getting onto the motorcycle.

"What's in a virgin sidecar?"

"Basically lemon juice."

"Oh, great." Jane frowned at her drink, then looked up at her wife. She was wearing her leather jacket even though it was a warm June night. She looked perfectly at home on the bike, sipping her drink. "You look sexy as hell," Jane told her.

Maura lit up. "I was hoping you would think so!"

"Oh, is that why you had to get this? To fan the flames of my desire?"

Maura chuckled. "I got it because I wanted it and thought it would be useful. But, if it makes you think I'm sexy…"

"You know you don't need a bike to make me think that. You've always been sexy as hell."

"Well, it never hurts to try new things. Do you like the sidecar?"

"Yeah, it's actually pretty cozy."

"Well, it's all yours."

"Yay!" cheered Jane, dancing a little in her seat. Unfortunately, that action caused the sidecar to come detached from the bike and fall over sideways.

"Oh, I'm going to have to get that fixed before I can take you anywhere," said Maura.

Jane didn't say anything. She was suddenly feeling wet.

"Jane? Are you okay?"

Jane looked up. "I…I think my water broke."

Maura gasped, jumping up. "Are you having any contractions?"

"I…don't get mad."

"I hate sentences that start like that."

"Well, I've been having contractions ever since that explosion, and they've been getting worse."

" _Jane!_ Why didn't you say anything?"

"You were already freaking out over the explosion. I didn't want you to freak out worse thinking it sent me into labor."

Maura forced herself to take a deep breath. "Okay, how far apart are your contractions?"

"I don't know, every few minutes?"

"Jane! We've _talked_ about this."

"I know, I just…hoped it was a false alarm. I—" she broke off, cringing, as her strongest contraction yet took over.

"Okay," said Maura when it had passed. "Okay. I'm going to go tell your mother so she can be in the house with Holly, and then I'm going to get your suitcase and we will go to the hospital."

"Well we can't go like this, the sidecar's not attached."

"Traffic isn't gridlocked. Get in my car." She helped Jane climb out of the fallen sidecar and then went into the guest house to get Angela while Jane waddled into the garage and climbed into the passenger seat of the four-door Mercedes Maura had purchased when they had adopted Holly. An infant seat was already installed in the back, next to Holly's booster seat. Jane realized with a start that the next time she rode in this car, the baby would be in that infant seat, instead of in her.

~R&I~

Ten hours later, Jane was holding baby Barry in her arms. She had done a lot of very loud cursing overnight, a lot of screaming. It wasn't very dignified. But Maura had remained calm and steady through it all, and now it seemed like the distant past. All that mattered was that Barry was here, and he was perfect. He had a shock of dark hair, ten fingers, ten toes, and a healthy appetite.

"Your mother and Holly will be here soon," Maura said softly. "Can I see him again?"

"Yeah." Jane let her wife take the baby, and she smiled at the sight of the two of them together, Maura pressing her lips to Barry's little head. She was such a good mommy, and she had wanted a baby of her own for such a long time. Jane was more than happy to give this to her.

"I love you both so much," Jane said sleepily.

"Me too. And I know you're tired. I won't let your mom stay for long."

"Holly can stay, as long as she lets me sleep."

Just then, the little redhead came running into the room, several feet ahead of her grandmother. "Where is he?" she demanded. "Where's my little brother?"

"He's right here." Maura knelt, showing the baby to her daughter. "Isn't he precious?"

"Oh, he is!" exclaimed Holly. "Hi, Barry! I'm your big sister!" She looked up at Maura. "Can I give him a kiss?"

"Of course you can. Just be gentle."

Holly leaned forward and tenderly kissed her brother's head. "He's so cute! His hair looks like Mama's!"

"I know, I think he looks a lot like her."

Holly wandered over to the bed. "How are you feeling?" she asked Jane.

"I'm feeling great," Jane said with a chuckle. "I mean, not physically, but I have a new baby and that's _amazing_."

"How was the labor? Were there any complications?"

"You are the only not-quite-six-year-old who would ask that question," laughed Jane. "It was fine. Your Mummy took good care of me."

"And your Mama is tough enough to handle labor." Maura kissed Jane on the head. "Would you like to hold your brother, Holly?"

"Yes!" Holly cried gleefully.

She settled herself onto the couch, and Maura sat next to her, carefully arranging the baby in her small arms. Jane watched the three of them together and felt like her heart was about to burst. _I have the perfect family_ , she thought. A family of four.

 **Author's note: Thank you all so much for being so patient with this chapter, which I know was a long time coming! I was a bit frantic for a few weeks there getting my new book ready to publish (it's out now, and the link is in my profile if you are interested), and unfortunately I've also had some health concerns to address. I am finding my footing again with this story, and once it's finished, I will be starting to post a new multi-chapter fic that I think you'll all love!**


	26. Chapter 26

Chapter 26

Episodes 5.8: Lost & Found, 5.9: It Takes a Village, 5.12: Burden of Proof, 5.13: Bridge to Tomorrow

"Can I see where you keep the bodies?" Holly asked.

"No, you may not," Maura said, holding four-month-old Barry close to her chest as she sat at her office desk. Angela had stopped by after picking Holly up from school and brought the children down to see Maura. "Minors aren't allowed in the cold storage room."

"Can I see where you do the autopsies then?"

"Well, I suppose it wouldn't hurt to let you look around a little," said Maura. "But stay close to me and don't touch anything."

She was just heading to the door when her phone rang. She looked down at it, but she didn't recognize the number, so she decided to leave it. She didn't want to be the sort of mother who was constantly being interrupted with work-related phone calls while with her children. Barry looked up at her with his big eyes, which had recently turned brown, and she smiled at him. He looked so much like Jane, right down to the dimples, and he _loved_ to be cuddled. This was the best of both worlds right here: a six-year-old to chat with, and a baby to hold in her arms.

"Okay, so these are the tables where I autopsy bodies," Maura explained to Holly, walking into the autopsy room.

"What are the little microphones for?" Holly asked curiously.

"Well, I can't take notes with my hands during an autopsy, so I record my notes by talking into that microphone. It uses a speech-to-text program to make them into written notes, so that way I don't forget anything."

"Cool," said Holly. "Can I say something into the microphone?"

"No, it's not—" Maura paused as the phone began ringing again. It was the same number.

"Are you going to get that?" Holly said.

"I suppose I should, since they've called twice in a row now." Moving the baby into her left arm, Maura answered the phone.

And the ground dropped out from under her.

Jane was in trouble. She had gone out searching for a homeless teenager who had witnessed a murder, and she had found her – along with the killer. Both Jane and the girl, Tasha, had been shot, though Jane insisted she was okay because she'd been wearing her vest, and they were now hiding from the killer in an abandoned elevator. Jane had no cell service and had used the elevator phone to dial the operator, who had patched her through to Maura. Jane needed to know how to treat Tasha's gunshot wound.

Maura quickly found Angela and left the children with her, then got Susie to drive her to Jane while she stayed on the phone with Jane and Tasha.

Maura arrived at the building to find the place swarming with cops, and two ambulances were already there. She ran inside expecting to tend Tasha's wound and found Jane on the ground, severely beaten and barely conscious. She was no longer wearing her vest. Maura dropped to her knees beside her wife.

"Jane, what happened?" she asked, her voice breaking.

"He beat me with a pipe," Jane forced out, gasping. "Get Tasha."

"I'll check on her," Maura promised, knowing Jane would never rest until she knew the girl was okay. Maura checked in with the EMTs and found them already treating Tasha, preparing her to go to the hospital. She spoke with them briefly and noted that Tasha was conscious, if barely. The gunshot wound looked highly treatable, so long as she didn't bleed out. She returned to Jane, who was being placed on a gurney.

Maura was filled with terror just thinking about the damage that may have been done to Jane's organs when that man beat her with a pipe, and she tried not to think about the possibility that her injuries could be fatal. Jane was just doing her job, and there was no question that Tasha would no longer be alive without Jane risking her life to protect her. Maura was proud of her for that. But still, her stomach was tied up in knots as she walked along with the gurney, holding her battered wife's hand as EMTs loaded her onto the ambulance.

"You did well, Jane," she said softly. "You did really well."

~R&I~

"What do you think it's going to take to get her to stop doing this job?" Angela asked. She was sitting next to Maura in Jane's hospital room. Jane had lost consciousness and had not yet come to. Fortunately she had no broken bones, but her spleen, kidneys, and liver were all bruised. It would take some time for her to recover enough to go back on duty. Maura couldn't pretend she wasn't looking forward to having Jane just stay home for a while.

"It's part of who she is," said Maura, cradling a sleeping Barry. "She's not going to stop. The job means too much to her."

"You're her wife. Can't you tell her to stop?"

Maura shook her head. "I would never do that to her. This is who she is, and I love her. I don't want to change her."

"You don't want to lose her either, do you? Holly and Barry would be half-orphans. You would be a widow, a single mom."

"I don't want any of that, but I don't want an unhappy wife either. She's doing a job that needs to be done, and I'm very proud of her for doing it. She saved a teenage girl's life today."

"Somebody else could have done it. Someone who isn't my daughter."

"No one else is as good as Jane," Maura said with a slight smile. "And anyway, everyone is someone's daughter or son."

"I don't mind so much when it's someone else's." Angela made a face. "Doesn't it bother you to see her like this?"

Maura looked at her sleeping wife. "It breaks my heart. But I'm still proud of her. I won't do it, Angela. I won't ask her to be someone other than who she is."

"What if this had happened while she was still pregnant with Barry?"

"She stayed out of the field during her pregnancy, other than investigations and questioning people, and she always had someone with her."

"Remember that explosion that sent her into labor? Korsak couldn't protect her from that."

"That was a freak incident. And we don't know for sure if that's what sent her into labor. She was full term."

"How would you feel if your kids grew up to do her job?"

Maura looked at Angela. "Exactly the same way you're feeling now."

"See?"

"I don't blame you for feeling this way, Angela. I'm just saying, I support my wife, and that's not going to change."

Angela sighed. "I'll stay here with her tonight. I can tell you're feeling torn."

"I never left her side after she was shot before," Maura said. "I can't…I want to be here for her."

"But you want to be with your children too."

Maura nodded, holding back tears. "I love them all. How do I choose?"

Angela put her hand on Maura's. "If Jane wakes up and you're not here, she'll understand. If Barry wakes in the night and neither mother is there to answer his cries, he won't understand. There's no way even to explain it to him. And Holly…she understands, but she's scared. She already lost one mother."

"She needs me," Maura agreed. "They both need me. At home." She looked longingly at Jane. "I just hate leaving her."

"I'll be here. Go be with your children tonight, and come back first thing in the morning. We'll take it in shifts. And maybe you'll think twice about whether it's such a bad idea to ask Jane to stop this nonsense."

~R&I~

Jane didn't come to until the next morning. Maura had just arrived at the hospital after dropping Holly off at school, sending Angela home to rest. She had Barry in her arms, and she watched as Jane's eyes slowly opened, moving their focus from the ceiling, to Maura's face, to their baby. Then the detective cracked a smile.

"Hi," said Maura gently. "Welcome back."

"Tasha," Jane moaned, moving as if trying to get up.

"She's going to be okay. She had a good surgeon, and she's recovering now. You did a great job. Now I wouldn't try to move too much. Your kidneys, liver, and spleen are all bruised."

Jane winced. "How are the kids?"

"They're fine. Holly's very worried, but she's at school right now. I promised her you'd be okay, but…I might pick her up early, now that you're awake, so she can see for herself."

Jane put her hands on her breasts. "My boobs really hurt."

Maura laughed gently. "Well Barry can fix that for you, but I gave him a bottle right before I brought him here, so he might not be ready for a while."

Jane smiled again. "Hey, baby boy," she said to Barry. "Did you miss me?"

"I'm sure he wondered where you were," said Maura. "I stayed with the kids at home last night, while your mom stayed here with you. I didn't want to leave you, but…"

"The kids needed you more than I did. I understand. It's not like when we were dating."

Maura nodded, glad she understood. "I think your mom wanted to be the one with you when you woke up."

"I'll fake sleeping when she comes back. I'm glad you two were the ones here though."

"Me too." Maura lightly rubbed Jane's hand with her thumb. "Your mom is upset you got hurt. She wants you to leave your job."

"She never wanted me to _start_ this job." Jane looked up at Maura. "You don't agree with her, do you?"

Maura shook her head. "It's hard for me to see you hurt because I love you so much, but a child was in danger. You're a mother yourself; of course you would do anything in your power to protect her. I wanted her to be safe too. She sounded like such a bright young girl. She reminded me of Holly."

"Yeah." Jane moved a little and grimaced again. "That might have been Holly in ten years, if we didn't have her."

Maura nodded. "It's just harder now, with the kids. Having to explain to Holly that you're hurt. Hearing Barry cry and not being able to explain to him why you're not there to nurse him."

Jane smiled sadly. "You're a very good mommy."

"But so are you, and one day they'll understand that their Mama risks her life to protect kids just like them. You're our hero, Jane. I don't want you to change."

Jane smiled again, and this time the smile actually reached her eyes.

~R&I~

Jan's recovery was slow and agonizing (for her, and for those who were trying to take care of her during the process), but over time she got back to her usual self and was able to return to work. They even considered taking Tasha in as a foster child, but a nurse with an empty nest who had developed a rapport with the teen offered to take her in instead, and Jane and Maura had to agree that someone who had experience raising a teenager was probably the best choice for Tasha. They kept in touch with her, however, and since she dreamed of being a doctor, she came to view Maura as a mentor. All in all, they were no worse off for the experience, and were actually better off for having Tasha in their lives.

A few months later, however, another incident took place that was a bit harder for Maura to stomach.

Jane had arrested Paul, a prosecutor from a neighboring county, for his mistress's murder, but he had managed to get bail. Just when she found some evidence making her believe he had been framed for the murder, his wife played Jane a voicemail from him: he was suicidal, preparing to jump off a bridge. Jane was determined to stop him if she could, but with Korsak and Frankie busy elsewhere, there were no cops available to go with Jane. Maura insisted on going so Jane wouldn't be alone, but Jane was adamant that Maura needed to stay back out of the way while she went to talk the man down.

Watching Jane lean over the railing to talk to Paul was nerve-wracking enough. When she ignored Maura's pleas and climbed over the railing to get closer to him, Maura felt her stomach clench into a tight little knot. _She knows what she's doing_ , she told herself. _She's a cop. She has experience with talking people down from ledges. She knows what she's doing._

But when Paul slipped off into the river below, Maura panicked and ran towards the railing to coax Jane back up. She wasn't fast enough, though. She saw Jane looking down at the water, calculating, and then she jumped off after him.

"Jane!" Maura screamed, leaning over the railing, searching the dark waters desperately for some sign of her wife. The waters roiled and then calmed again. Neither person resurfaced. " _Jane_!" Maura screamed again as loudly as she could, hoping the sound of her voice might penetrate the water a little, to remind Jane that there was someone more important here, someone who needed her. " _JANE!_ "

But there was no response.

~R&I~

"I should have stopped her," Maura told Frankie when he arrived at the bridge the following morning. Maura had been standing there all night, watching the Coast Guard conduct their search, even hours after she had watched helplessly as the current swept Jane and Paul away.

"You can't blame yourself," Frankie told her. "It's _Jane_. There's no stopping her sometimes."

But Maura knew she could have tried harder. She shouldn't have trusted Jane not to do anything crazy. She should never have let Jane get out of her reach. How was she going to explain this to Holly, to Barry when he was older, if they never found her? How could she tell them that she had just watched their mother, the love of her life, essentially commit suicide?

 _If she makes it through this_ , Maura thought, _I will take her home and just hold her all day. We won't go to work. We both need rest, and I'm not going to let go of her._

When the call came in that the Coast Guard had picked someone up, Maura hurried to the dock, holding her breath as she waited to see who would emerge. It was Jane, dripping wet and wrapped in a blanket, and Paul was with her. They were both okay.

Maura let out a sigh of relief, but when Frankie ran to greet his sister, she found herself hanging back for a second. Now that she knew Jane was okay, a lot of new emotions were bursting forth, not all of them pleasant. She felt anger, and pure exhaustion – not from being up all night, but from having to go through _this_ too many times.

Finally she walked down the ramp to take her wife into her arms. "I've never been so glad to see you in my life," Jane told her exhaustedly, and Maura just held her close for a moment, at a loss for words. Finally she pulled back.

"I'll see you at the office," she said, not meeting Jane's eyes. "Take good care of her," she told Korsak as she turned. Then she walked back to her car, not looking back once. Just like that, she dropped her plans to stay home and just hold Jane all day, and she went to work. By herself.

She was working quietly in her office a few hours later when Jane came in, dressed in fresh clothes and no longer smelling like something that had been dredged up from the bottom of a river. She handed Maura a gift bag, which contained the ME's favorite perfume. As if that made up for nearly losing her wife for the second time in a matter of months. The third time in less than a year, if you counted that explosion, which she decided she should.

Jane sighed and sat down. "I know jumping in after Paul was dangerous," she acknowledged.

Maura finally asked the question that had been on her mind since the previous night. "Did you think about any of us before you jumped?"

"No, I didn't," Jane admitted. "I didn't think about you, and I didn't think about our children. I didn't even think about myself. I only thought about Paul and that I was the only person that could help him. I wasn't going to just let him drown, Maura." Her eyes were pleading.

Maura processed this. "I guess that's the instinct that makes you such a good cop," she said in resignation.

"And maybe a bit hard to love," Jane said.

Maura looked at her. "I was just afraid I'd lost you." She sighed. "And I just kept thinking that I didn't do enough to help you. Why didn't I go and help you talk Paul down, or why didn't I stop you from going over the railing? Why wasn't I closer so I could grab you?"

"Maura, there was nothing you could have done on that bridge. That was on me." Jane took Maura's hands in her own.

"Weren't you scared?" Maura asked her.

"Not until I jumped. Then, yeah, I was petrified. I kept thinking of all the things I hadn't done yet, like having another baby with you, watching the kids grow up, getting old with you."

Maura smiled a little. "I would like for you to do that."

"I'm gonna try." Jane looked down at entwined fingers. "I guess I could try a little harder."

"Yes. You could. It was one thing when you were protecting a child who was being threatened, but this is a man who got up on that bridge by himself. I know it sounds wrong, but I'm just not sure he was worth risking your life for. Not when the risk is that enormous."

"Well, I'm not sorry I did it because I did save him and I'm okay. But…I get that I need to temper my cop instincts more in the future. I just…I've never been that good at balance. I throw myself completely into whatever I do. When I'm at work, I'm just a cop, and nothing else matters. That's why I was always afraid of getting married and having a family, because I didn't think I could devote myself to them enough. But…I loved you too much to walk away."

"I know it's hard for you. It's just your personality; it's all or nothing. It's hard for you to have two things in your life that mean the world to you. You want to commit fully to both of them, and you can't. It's always been easier for me because living a balanced life comes naturally to me. I've always been good at multi-tasking."

"I know. I'm sorry. I'll do better, Maura. I promise."

"You can't be anyone other than who you are," Maura said quietly.

"I can be a better version of who I am. I can figure out a way to do my job while still putting my family first. I can make myself stop and think about all of you before I take risks from now on."

"I would like that," Maura said softly.

Jane leaned forwards and kissed her tenderly. Maura felt tears well in her eyes at the thought that she might have never kissed these lips again.

"Let's go home," Jane said. "We need rest. Holly's at school, and today's the day Ma takes Barry to that Grandma and Me group. Let's go take a nap."

Maura's original plan to just stay home and hold Jane close to her began to sound like a good idea after all. "But we still have a murder to solve," she pointed out.

"Korsak and Frankie can work on that today. You and I aren't going to be much help anyway, since neither of us got any sleep last night. We'll rest up and come back tomorrow."

Maura smiled. "Okay." She let Jane pull her up, and they headed home.

The house was empty, as expected, and when they began the journey upstairs to their bedroom, Maura really did plan to just curl up and go to sleep. By the time they got there, however, Maura found herself overcome with need and threw herself at Jane, kissing her so hard she completely cut off her air supply. Soon they had torn each other's clothes off and were falling onto the bed, Jane on top of Maura, moving against her with the same intense need Maura felt. Maura held her close, hands roaming smooth olive skin as she reveled in the feeling of Jane's entire body pressed against hers – heaving, grinding, as if the two of them could truly make themselves one if they tried hard enough.

Gasping, Maura turned onto her side, turning Jane with her, feeling a sudden need to be inside her wife. She slipped her fingers through Jane's slick folds, working her way inside as Jane did the same to her. They made eye contact, both thrusting in and out of each other, frantically, both coming within minutes, pushing onwards until they came again and again until they both collapsed in exhaustion.

"I hope," Maura said, struggling to catch her breath, "that you'll think of this next time you're tempted to jump off a bridge."

"I'll jump off a bridge every week if it gets you to fuck me like that," Jane rasped.

"Jane!"

Jane laughed, snuggling in closer to the blonde. "I'm kidding."

 **Happy holidays everyone!**


	27. Chapter 27

Chapter 27

Episodes 6.4: Imitation Game and 6.5: Misconduct

"I can't believe Ma refuses to tell us about her new boyfriend," Jane griped as she and her wife walked towards a crime scene. "I could understand when she first met him, but she's already had dinner with his daughter! That means he should be coming over to have dinner with us, and we don't even know his name!"

"You didn't tell her you were dating me until it was quite serious," Maura pointed out.

"Yeah, but I had the whole coming-out thing to deal with, and I wasn't having dinner with _your_ parents while keeping you a secret from mine. _And_ they knew who you were, they just didn't know we were dating. She could at least tell us what the guy's name is!"

"Well, it's not like we aren't keeping any secrets from her." Maura smiled, and Jane couldn't help breaking into a grin herself. Several weeks ago, they had learned Maura was pregnant, though they hadn't told anyone yet. Jane had done the insemination herself this time, and they had been trying since not long after Barry's first birthday. This time, it had only taken a few tries for it to work. Jane had been walking on air since they found out, picturing that tiny little mini Maura growing inside her wife's uterus. This baby was going to be perfect.

"Yeah well, she'd have figured that out herself by now if she wasn't so wrapped up in this mysterious man," Jane muttered, keeping her voice low as they got closer to Korsak and the others. "When I was pregnant, she figured it out almost right away, and you've been tossing your cookies even more than I did."

"Ugh, don't remind me," said Maura, clutching her stomach. "I hope this corpse doesn't put me over the edge."

Soon, Jane and Maura were too absorbed in the new case to spend too much time worrying about Angela's new boyfriend. They had a murder to solve, one that would force Jane to deface a painting at a museum to see if Maura could prove it was fake. Fortunately, it was, and also fortunately, Maura loved her enough to stay by her side regardless.

"So his name is Ron," Jane said as she drove Maura to her first ultrasound appointment. "But that's all we're getting."

"For now at least," said Maura. "Maybe when we share the good news about the pregnancy, your mother will be more forthcoming about her news."

"I have a mind to not tell her about the pregnancy until she tells us Ron's last name. And how she met him. And where he lives."

Maura laughed. "I already feel bloated. I don't think we can hide it from her much longer, even if she is wrapped up in _Ron_."

"You're not bloated. You look perfect." Jane pulled into a parking space.

"I _feel_ bloated. I feel like I might be starting to show a little!"

"You're imagining that. You're not showing at all. It's too early!"

"My pants feel tight!"

"Well you can't be gaining weight, because the fetus is only eight weeks old, and you can't even keep any food down."

"I know, I've been so sick," said Maura glumly. "Even sicker than you were, but that's because my hCG levels are so high."

"That's good, it means the pregnancy is sustaining itself."

"Yes, but they're even higher than they need to be, and that's just making me throw up more."

Jane got out and opened Maura's car door, helping her out. "Come on, beautiful pregnant lady. This weight gain is in your head. I've never seen such a sexy mother in all my life." She gave Maura a kiss before leading her into the clinic.

"It's hard to believe we're going to have three kids," Maura commented as she was lying on the exam table, Dr. Murphy squirting gel onto her abdomen.

"I know. Barry's still a baby, and we already have another baby on the way!" Jane remarked.

"They're going to be almost exactly two years apart. Perhaps I would have wanted to space them apart a little more if I were younger, but I'm 39 now. It didn't seem wise to put it off."

"Well, this baby's going to be perfect," Jane assured her as the image popped onto the screen. Holding Maura's hand tightly, Jane watched eagerly as the shape of the fetus came into view with its enormous head and little paddles for limbs.

"Nice, strong heartbeat," said Dr. Murphy. "It's a little small for its age, but not enough to be too concerning."

"It's probably too busy growing its brain to worry about other stuff," said Jane with a grin. The view shifted a little, and she lost sight of the baby, but it quickly came into focus again. "Hey, it flipped around," she said. "Wasn't it facing the other way a second ago?" She looked down at Maura to see that she had gone very pale.

Dr. Murphy cleared her throat. "This is a different baby," she explained.

"A…a what now?" said Jane, her mouth suddenly dry.

"This isn't the baby we were just looking at, but I'm happy to say this one also has a very strong heartbeat."

"Just how many are in there?" asked Jane, fearing the answer.

Dr. Murphy moved her wand around. "Just two. You're having twins."

" _Just_ two?" said Maura, finally finding her voice. "That's twice as many as we were planning for! I'm going to get so _fat_!"

"Maura, come on, you're gonna be gorgeous," Jane promised.

"Our number of children is doubling!" Maura continued, her eyes wide.

"It's okay. We can do this."

Maura looked up at Jane, her eyes full of fear. "You're not upset?"

"No, I'm not upset." Jane smiled. "All I wanted was a mini Maura. Now I'm getting two for the price of one!"

Maura smiled weakly.

"I only see one placenta," Dr. Murphy said. "It looks like you're having identical twins. When you come back in a couple months, I can tell you if they're boys or girls."

"Hey, that's good," said Jane. "That means they can share a room. That'll make it easier to figure out where to put them!"

~R&I~

"We _are_ we going to put them?" Maura asked as they were walking back out to their car.

"Easy," said Jane. "We get an extra bassinet for our room and keep them in there for the first year. Then we move Barry to the third floor next to Holly – he'll be turning three by then – and we put the twins in Barry's old room, the old yoga room."

"It'll be crowded."

"Come on, the house is huge. We have room. And at least we know we aren't going to have any more in the future! That's the great thing about lesbianism."

"If you're going to say 'lesbian couples don't have unplanned children,' you're wrong about that," said Maura, getting into the car. "We only planned for one more, and we're getting two."

"I know, but at least you're not going to come to me a year later and tell me your birth control failed and we're having a fifth," Jane reasoned, sliding into the driver's seat.

"Or a fifth _and_ a sixth," Maura sighed.

"Well, it's not happening, so don't worry about it."

Maura sighed again and leaned back in her seat. "Two babies. How will I keep up with breastfeeding them?"

"Well, you'll have help."

Maura looked up. "I will?"

"Yeah. Barry's still nursing. So, the twins are due near Barry's second birthday. You've told me at least 300 times that the World Health Organization recommends breastfeeding babies for at least the first two years. That means he'll still be nursing at least a little when the twins come, and I'll still be making milk."

"We're going to have three babies in the house," Maura said softly. "It's going to be hard to meet all their needs."

"Three babies, two mommies, four boobs. We've got this." Jane smiled. "And Grandma Rizzoli is here to help, and Holly is a great big sister. We can do this."

Maura smiled back. "I _have_ always found twins fascinating," she admitted. "Especially identical twins. Sometimes I wished I had one when I was a child."

Jane chuckled. "You wanted a clone?"

"I did! I had so many interests as a child, it was often difficult to decide what to pursue, and I've always wondered what life might have been like if I'd chosen differently. Of course, I'm grateful for all the choices I made, because they brought me here to you. But it would have been an interesting experiment to have a sister with the exact same genes, the same environment, but who made different choices."

"Well, I'm kinda glad you don't have a twin, because it would be awkward trying to pretend I didn't think your sister was hot," said Jane. "But I'm excited to be having twins with you, and now you have your very own science experiment growing inside of you!"

Maura laughed. "Holly's going to be excited."

"You know she will. Barry probably not as much."

"Poor Barry," said Maura. She smiled at Jane. "I was afraid I wouldn't be able to get pregnant since it didn't work when we tried before, but now I'm _very_ pregnant."

"You are _so_ pregnant." Jane lovingly touched the spot where the babies were growing. "I love it."

Maura finally grinned. "I think we can do this."

"I know we can." Jane kissed her.

~R&I~

When they put Holly to bed that night, they decided she would be the first person they told.

"We're going to make a big announcement at Sunday dinner this week, but we wanted you to know now," Maura said, arranging the blankets over her daughter.

"What is it?" the seven-year-old asked.

Maura smiled down at her. "I am pregnant with twins."

Holly gasped, sitting bolt upright. "You _are?_ "

"Yes, identical twins! We don't know if they're boys or girls yet."

"Identical twins! Oh Mummy, that's the most exciting news ever!" She threw her arms around Maura's neck, and then she hugged Jane. "I'm so excited we're going to have twin babies in our house!"

"I know, it's going to be amazing!" said Jane. "But it's definitely going to get a lot louder around here, and busier, and more crowded."

"That's okay," said Holly. "I always wanted to be part of a big family."

Maura moved a curl behind Holly's ear. "I did too." She smiled up at Jane.

"So I know it's not a contest," Jane said, slipping an arm around her wife's shoulders as they left Holly's room. "But you only got me pregnant with one baby, and I got you pregnant with two, so…"

Maura laughed. "So that's why you're so happy about having twins? You think it means you're better at impregnating women than I am?"

"No, I just think it's exciting, but…I mean, it is what it is."

Maura leaned against Jane. "You know you had nothing to do with this, right? Identical twins happen when the egg divides in two after it is fertilized. You didn't do that. I'm clearly better at making babies than you are."

"Touché," said Jane.

~R&I~

Their announcement was delayed after Jane was called to the scene of an attempted murder the next morning. She was shocked when she got there and found the person who had been attacked was none other than Susie. She had received a massive blow to the head that her attacker most likely thought would be fatal, but she was still clinging to life and was taken to the hospital in critical condition. She was left in a coma for several days, so Jane worked it like a true murder case, searching for clues on her own. Maura was devastated that Susie was hurt, and she became even more stressed when incriminating evidence was discovered in Susie's apartment, and the governor placed Maura on leave. The evidence was planted, however, and Jane was able to clear Susie's name, and Maura's with it, in addition to arresting the would-be killer.

At the end of the week, they held a fundraiser at the Dirty Robber to pay for Susie's medical costs. Jane knew Maura would make sure it was all covered even if no one else contributed, but she was glad to see people both from the crime lab and from BPD coming together to help Susie out.

"Why don't we just go ahead and tell everyone now while we're all together?" Jane asked Maura at the fundraiser.

"I guess we can," said Maura. "Although I don't really want to distract from Susie."

"Oh, please. Susie's going to be over the moon when she finds out about the twins."

"The what?" said Kent, the new assistant ME Maura had hired. Jane hated the guy, but she knew he would make it a lot easier for Maura to take her maternity leave and to scale back her hours while the babies were little.

Maura cleared her throat. "I have an announcement to make."

Jane shouted to get everyone's attention, and they quieted down.

Maura smiled. "I'm pregnant," she said.

"I knew it!" shouted Angela.

"You knew?" said Jane.

"Yeah, I knew, but it seemed wrong to poke my nose in your business when I was trying to get you off my back about Ron!"

"So you're learning!" said Jane. "Well, here's something you don't know: there are _two_ babies in there!"

"What?!" Angela screamed.

"Identical twins!" Maura confirmed.

The room erupted into shouts and cheers, and it became so loud, Jane didn't even hear Maura's phone ring; she just saw her wandering off to answer it. A moment later, Maura came back, her eyes shining. "It's the hospital! Susie's lucid, and she's asking for me!"

"Then let's get over there!" Jane shouted.

When they got to Susie's bedside, they found her alert but groggy. Maura immediately began crying tears of relief.

"Dr. Isles, you don't need to cry," Susie assured her.

"I'm just so relieved," said Maura. "In the beginning, we weren't sure if you were going to pull through!"

"Don't mind her," said Jane. "She's emotional because of a thing."

"What thing?" asked Susie, looking at Maura.

Maura glanced back at Jane. "We left without showing everyone the ultrasound."

"So show it to Susie."

Susie's eyes widened. "You're _pregnant_?"

"I am," Maura admitted, taking the ultrasound picture out of her purse and handing it to Susie. "And that's not all."

Susie studied the ultrasound photo and then gasped. "Identical twins?"

"That's right," said Maura, grinning.

"Dr. Isles, that's so exciting!"

"I know," agreed Maura. "I'm so glad you're still here to see it."

Susie smiled up at her. "Me too."


	28. Chapter 28

Chapter 28

Episode 6.7: A Bad Seed Grows

No matter what she was doing, the excitement still fluttered in the back of Maura's mind: twins. She was having twins! _They_ were having twins.

The idea still scared her, but Jane was right. They could do this, and she was excited to share this experience with Jane. She was four months along now, although she could have passed for five or six months. The pregnancy was becoming obvious even to strangers, and she was starting to feel fluttery little movements inside as the babies wiggling their new arms and legs. She remembered the envy she had felt when Jane experienced this with Barry, and she was absolutely thrilled to be on the other side of it now, feeling not one but _two_ new lives form inside of her. Sometimes it made her cry, which she knew was largely the pregnancy hormones, but she felt the emotions would likely overwhelm her even without the hormones.

Jane was excited too. She was doting on Maura more than ever and was doing more than her share of the housework, insisting that Maura should conserve her energy. If Maura asked for anything, Jane jumped up to get it, whether it was chocolate ice cream, Tums, a leg massage, or an orgasm. She had been having _incredibly_ strong orgasms lately, and she found herself wanting them at the oddest times. Angela completely understood as she had also gotten quite "horny," as she put it, during the second trimester of all her pregnancies, which Jane absolutely did not want to hear about. Maura only had to give her a certain look and Angela would volunteer to take the kids out for ice cream so Jane could "take care of" her wife. Maura thought it was really sweet that her mother-in-law cared so much, while Jane thought it was creepy as hell and had to get all thoughts of her mother out of her head before she could even think about servicing Maura.

Maura came to fetch Jane from the squad room at the end of the work day one December evening. They had just wrapped a very disturbing case in which the killer was a teenage boy, and she was more than happy to be done with that.

"I'll be ready in just a sec," said Jane, taking a picture down from the board.

Maura moved close to her, resting a hand on her wife's lower back. "I was hoping we could park someplace private on the way home."

" _Park_ someplace?"

"Yes." Maura smiled. "You know, so you can… _relieve_ me."

Jane glanced back at Korsak, turning red. "Can't we just go down to your office?"

"Kent is still here."

"Okay, scratch that. I know a place we can go."

Maura grinned. "I can't wait. I've been thinking about you all afternoon."

"So glad my body parts are on your mind while you're filling out your autopsy reports."

"I was mainly thinking about your fingers and what they could do to _my_ body parts," said Maura, forgetting to keep her voice down.

"Okay, you know what?" said Jane, glancing at Korsak again. "There's nothing I need to do here that can't wait. Let me just get you out of here and give you what you need before—" Her phone buzzed. "Hold on, it's Ma." She answered the phone, and then her eyes widened. "Ma, slow down," she said.

"Put her on speaker," Maura whispered urgently, her mind racing with thoughts of horrible things that could have happened to the children.

"Ma, I'm gonna put you on speaker so Maura can hear too." Jane pushed a button and held the phone out between them. "Ma, tell me what happened."

"Someone broke into your house. We just got home from Holly's swimming lesson, and I was in the nursery changing Barry when I heard a sound in your bedroom! I thought you girls must have gotten home early so I called out to you, and then I heard footsteps running down the stairs and then out the back door! They didn't even close the door behind them!"

"Okay Ma, we'll be right there. Are you and the kids okay?"

"We're okay. I can't even tell if they took anything. The TV is still here."

"If they were in the bedroom, they may have taken something small, like my jewelry," Maura pointed out. This had happened once before, about four years ago. Unfortunately, the Beacon Hill neighborhood was sometimes targeted by burglary rings.

"We'll check it out when we get there," Jane promised. "And maybe we can also figure out why the alarm didn't go off."

"Maybe your mom forgot to arm it," said Maura, heading down the elevator with Jane and trying not to be too disappointed about postponing her orgasm.

"If she did, I'm gonna be pissed."

Jane sped the whole way home, which fortunately wasn't a long drive. They found Angela huddled in the living room with the children, the doors locked tight.

"The alarm was on when I got here, I swear it," Angela said as Jane checked.

"It was," Holly agreed. "I saw her put the code in."

"Whoever it was must have jammed the code," Jane said with a heavy sigh. "These things aren't foolproof, but it means we're looking at some sophisticated thieves."

"Have there been any similar break-ins in our neighborhood recently?" Maura asked.

Jane frowned. "No. There haven't."

Maura went upstairs and was not surprised to see that her jewelry chest had been rifled through. What did surprise her was that she couldn't find anything missing.

"Perhaps something is gone and I just don't realize it, but nothing is sticking out in my mind," she told Jane. "Look. My jewelry chest is full."

"They even opened my little jewelry box," mused Jane. "I bet _that_ was disappointing."

"I've given you expensive pieces of jewelry before," Maura pointed out. She did like to adorn her wife, and who could blame her when she was married to someone so _scrumptious?_ She really needed this break-in taken care of so she could have some time alone with her.

"Well, my expensive jewelry is still here. Why would they go through all of this and not scoop it all into a bag or something?"

"It's like they were looking for something in particular," said Maura thoughtfully.

"Nothing else was disturbed. It's like they came straight to the bedroom, started looking through the jewelry, heard Ma and the kids, and ran out. Someone who was sophisticated enough to jam up our alarm system."

Holly walked into the room, clutching her favorite doll to her chest. "Was anything stolen?"

"Not that we can find, sweetie," said Maura.

"I'm so glad they didn't come in my room. If they'd taken Marie Curie, I don't know what I would do!"

Maura smiled. "We would get you another doll."

"It wouldn't be the same. My first momma gave me Marie Curie. I've had her for half my life! Even if I got another doll exactly like her, I'd still miss the _real_ one."

Jane got down on Holly's level. "If anything happened to that doll, I would go to the ends of the Earth to find her and get her back for you."

"You would?"

"Of course I would. I know how much she means to you. And anyway, I have connections."

Holly grinned. "I love having a police detective for a mother!" She wrapped her little arms around Jane's neck.

Jane stood up, lifting Holly with her. "Should we order a pizza?"

"Yes!"

"Okay, go tell Grandma!"

"Okay!"

The little redhead ran downstairs, and Maura walked over to give Jane a kiss. "That was so _sexy_. This is why I wanted to have kids with you."

"Sexy, huh?" Jane chuckled.

"Oh, yes." Maura's eyes sparkled. "How long do you think it will take for the pizza to get here?" Her eyes moved up and down Jane's form hungrily.

"Maura…Right _now_?"

"It won't take long, I'm quite aroused already! I've been aroused since four o'clock this afternoon!"

"Fine." With a smile of resignation, Jane moved in for another kiss, slowly backing Maura up against the wall. As her fingers moved through Maura's hair and down her body, lingering at her extra-sensitive nipples, they heard sirens outside, but ignored them.

"It sounded like that stopped nearby," Maura said, pulling out of the kiss.

"Well I know Ma didn't call 911 about the robbery. She just called me." Jane began inching up Maura's skirt, her fingers raising goosebumps on the inside of Maura's thigh.

"More sirens," said Maura. "That one sounded like it stopped on our block too." The bedroom was now lit up red and blue from the flashing lights outside.

"Maybe somebody else got hit?" Jane suggested. "We can check just as soon as I give you this—"

"Mama! Mama, your car's on fire!" Holly's voice shouted up the stairs.

"What the—" Jane withdrew quickly and headed for the stairs, Maura hot on her heels.

Outside, they found two fire trucks in front of their house, blocking off the street. Jane's squad car was still parked on the street, flames billowing out of the windows, shattered glass on the pavement around it.

Barry came toddling up behind them, making siren noises and carrying his own little toy fire truck. Maura picked him up to keep him from wandering any closer to the fire.

"My car," Jane said weakly. "How did my car catch on fire?"

"I don't know," said Maura. "Do you think…" She looked at her wife, hesitantly. "Do you think it's a coincidence that this happened the same night our house was broken into?"

Jane bit her lip. "I don't know what to think."

~R&I~

The rest of the evening passed in chaos. Fire fighters put out the fire in Jane's car, leaving a burned-out shell that then had to be towed away to the crime lab. Officers came out to take official reports on both the break-in and the car fire. The pizza arrived in the middle of the chaos, naturally, but Maura was able to handle paying for it and getting the children fed. She then demolished a large portion of the remaining pizza, as she was entitled to do since she was now eating for three.

"Jane, came eat, I saved you a slice," Maura cajoled when the officers had left and her frazzled wife was back in the house.

"Only one slice?" Jane asked tiredly.

Maura gave her a sheepish smile. "I also made you a salad to make up for the fact that you only get one slice of pizza."

Jane melted into a smile. "I guess the babies were hungry?"

"All three of us were."

"Well they can have as much pizza as they want, and their mommy can too." Jane kissed her, patting her baby bump with both hands, before slumping at the table to eat the remains of dinner.

Once the kids were in bed, Maura was relieved to follow Jane to their bedroom. Finally, she had the woman she loved all to herself! So she was dismayed when Jane yawned and said she was ready to go to bed too.

"Already?" Maura asked, unable to keep the pout from her face.

"Yes, I'm exhausted!" Jane said, stretching her back. "Don't tell me you're not?"

"I am, but…you promised me an orgasm. I've been very patient."

Jane looked at her, incredulous. "You're still thinking about sex after everything that's happened tonight?"

Maura nodded, biting her lip. "I need you."

Jane sighed, shaking her head. "Okay, I can take care of you really fast before bed."

It wasn't the most romantic thing she'd ever said, but it would do. "It won't take long," Maura assured her. It never did, these days. "We can just pick up where we left off earlier."

"Okay, well I think I had my hands up your skirt," said Jane, her hand creeping up Maura's thigh once again. "And I was just about to do this." She yanked Maura's panties down, leaving them in a heap on the floor, and backed her up towards the bed. Maura sat on the edge of the mattress. Without another word, Jane pushed up her skirt and took her into her mouth. Gasping, Maura laced her fingers into Jane's hair, urging her onward. Jane's fingers inched their way back up her thigh and slid inside, causing Maura to cry out. She rocked her hips, riding Jane's fingers while the detective continued to work her with her tongue. It didn't take long for her to come, shuddering with her release, under Jane's expert care.

~R&I~

The very next day, Jane went to work hunting down a better home security system, one that would be harder to jam. Maura had to drive her around until the department's insurance paid out, allowing them to purchase her a new (used) squad car. Christmas passed without further incident, and the new year of 2015 arrived.

In January, Maura prepared for what might be the most interesting appointment of her pregnancy: the 20-week ultrasound. Today they would get to see the babies really looking like babies, and it would be possible to determine their sex. Maura wasn't sure what to hope for in this regard. If they were girls, Barry would never get a brother, and the poor guy was so outnumbered already. But if they were boys, Holly would never get a sister, and Maura would never get to dress up a baby girl, since she had missed Holly's infancy. She supposed it was best not to hope for anything in particular and just be happy with whatever she got.

This ultrasound turned into a family affair, as Holly was dying to see the babies, and if they brought her, then it only made sense to bring Barry, and then Angela said she might as well come so she could keep Barry out of the way. So it was with a packed room that Maura got her second look at her twins.

"Aww, look, they're facing each other," Jane said. "It's like they're talking!"

"They're BFFs already!" said Angela.

"Well of course they are, they don't know any other people," Jane pointed out.

"They're so precious," Maura whispered, tears pricking her eyes. She remembered the magic of seeing Barry at Jane's 20-week ultrasound and how entranced she had been. Now it was the same thing again, times two.

"How big are they?" Holly asked.

"Let me measure," said the tech with a smile. "Looks like they're both a little under six inches from crown to rump." She switched to a view of the heads, which appeared to be touching. "The heads are about the same size, which means they're both developing equally."

"With big brains growing in there, no doubt," grinned Jane.

"They're so cute!" said Holly. "Are they boys or girls?"

"Yeah, Grandma wants to know too," said Angela eagerly.

"All right, let's get a look from underneath." The tech switched the view to give them a look at one baby's tiny rear end. Maura squeezed Jane's hand tighter. "Are you seeing what I'm seeing, Dr. Isles?" the tech asked.

"Yes," Maura said softly. "It's a baby girl."

"That's right, and I'll take pictures of both of them, but they're identical, so that means—"

"Two girls," said Jane, looking down at her wife. "Two tiny Mauras!"

"They're not tiny Mauras any more than I'm a tiny Hope," Maura pointed out.

"You _are_ a tiny Hope, only nicer and better," said Jane. She grinned at the screen. "I can't wait to meet them!"

"Well I'm excited," said Angela. "We've had two baby boys in the family, and now we're getting two baby girls at once! It's perfect."

"And I get to have sisters!" said Holly.

Maura grinned. "Well, now that we know, I can start buying baby clothes."

"They're still going to wear Barry's old Sox jerseys," Jane pointed out.

"Of course," conceded Maura. "And the Bruins gear, and Celtics, and Patriots." All of that was just part of having children with Jane, and having children with Jane was the most amazing thing Maura had ever done.

"But don't think having mostly girls means you're going to have it any easier. Jane was my hardest one," Angela said.

"Really, Ma? You're going to say that after all the trouble Tommy gave you?"

"Tommy didn't mean to get in trouble. He just really struggled because of his dyslexia and everything. But you Jane, you knew what you were doing!"

"You see how she still makes excuses for him?" Jane told Maura. "It's a double standard!"

Maura could only laugh. It was happening right before her very eyes: she and Jane were becoming the matriarchs of their own big, beautiful, messy family.


	29. Chapter 29

Chapter 29

Episodes 6.12: 5:26 and 6.13: Hide and Seek

As Maura's pregnancy progressed, Jane's excitement only grew. Twin girls were perfect, in her opinion. She hoped they would look exactly like Maura. Although the doctor had warned of the increased risks with twins, and especially in a mother with just one kidney, Maura was doing great. She was as active as an enormously pregnant woman could be. She was still working, and she had that special glow. Jane felt like she was falling in love with her all over again.

They even got to go on a working trip to Los Angeles right before Maura hit the cutoff at which the doctor would no longer allow her to travel. Jane hated LA and was nervous about leaving the kids only two months after the break-in and car fire, but Maura thought a romantic getaway before the twins came was a great idea, so Jane tried to see it as such even though they were technically going there to solve a murder. Maura definitely enjoyed LA more than Jane did, though. She seemed disappointed that Jane could never see herself living there, because apparently she was already thinking about their retirement. Jane wasn't ready to think about that yet, but she already knew she wanted to retire in Boston. Still, she was happy to see how relaxed Maura felt in the warm, sunny California weather.

And then all hell broke loose.

Their debit cards were denied in LA, although Maura's credit card still worked. They called Nina to have her look into it, assuming their number had been stolen and that it would soon be put right. By the time they got home, Nina had gotten their account back open and traced the IP address of the person who had hacked in. No money had been stolen, oddly enough, and the IP address led back to a password-protected website.

The password was Jane Rizzoli.

The website had a video of a gloved hand holding up a lighter in front of Jane and Maura's house. The date on the video was the night of the break-in. The message seemed clear: the mysterious person had planned on burning their house down that night.

"Well if they had planned on hurting us, they would have broken in when we were home," Jane reasoned.

"And that thought gives you comfort?" Maura asked, incredulous.

"A little," said Jane. "They ran out when Ma and the kids got home. They didn't try to hurt them."

"We could have lost everything we own if they hadn't gotten home when they did. Jane, this person may not be a murderer, but they certainly are trying to ruin your life, and that affects all of us."

"I know, Maura! You know damn well I won't be able to sleep until we catch this person. My whole family is at risk, and I don't even know why."

And it was true. Jane couldn't sleep anymore. As days and then weeks passed with no resolution, she would lie awake at night listening for noises, or get up and look in on the children. She wanted to know who hated her this much, so much that they would hurt her whole family. She _needed_ to know, before anyone she loved could get hurt.

Korsak didn't think Jane should be out on cases with this going on, so he put her on desk duty, charging her with searching her emails for threats. Given how many dangerous people she had put behind bars, she received threats all the time, so this was no small task. Meanwhile, her very pregnant wife, who was just about to hit the eight-month mark by now, was going out to crime scenes without her, as she was her own boss and saw no reason to put herself on desk duty. Jane wasn't extremely happy with this arrangement, but there wasn't much she could do until the person behind all this was caught.

Nina was able to find a raw image of the arsonist's video that showed more of her wrist, revealing a butterfly tattoo. Then Frankie came in and said that it was his new murder victim, Lianne Sampson. So the arsonist was dead, murdered, which led Maura to the theory that both the arsonist and the hacker were hired by someone with a grudge against Jane – someone who didn't have a problem killing. On autopsy, Maura found balloons in Lianne's stomach, one of which contained a watch. It was the watch Jane's mother had given her when she became a cadet, and the battery had been removed to freeze it at a particular time and date: 5:26 on April 26th. That was tomorrow.

Suddenly, Korsak put Jane on leave, quite against her will. Maura hired a bodyguard to protect her, which was also against her will. Maura, Angela, and the children had to be evacuated from the house until 5:26 had come and gone. Only Jane and the bodyguard could be home, and the neighborhood was flooded with police, hoping to catch whoever it was in the act of doing whatever they planned to do.

It felt like the longest day of Jane's life. She kept checking the clock, periodically calling Maura, who had gone to work, and Angela, who was at the safe house with the kids, to make sure all was well with them. Maura had been smart enough to hire Jane a bodyguard who could cook, so he was keeping her busy with food. When she went to the window all she could see were cops milling around with bomb-sniffing dogs. They had swept the house for explosives and found nothing, and they had roadblocks set up to keep anyone from driving a bomb down their street, but Jane still couldn't relax, not even when 5:27 arrived uneventfully.

That was when it hit her: it wasn't a time.

Why would they tell her an exact time when something was going to happen? They had to know she'd be doing exactly what she was doing now: sitting at home with a bodyguard while cops swarmed the neighborhood and her family was safely elsewhere. The date might be right, but the time couldn't be. That was some other message, and she needed to be at the station, with her colleagues, to best figure out what it was.

She stormed out of the house, her annoying bodyguard chasing after her, and told Korsak her epiphany. It took some arguing, but she finally convinced him nothing was going to happen at the house, and he took her back to the station. Angela and the kids were allowed to return home, but they kept a police presence on their street.

Ordinarily, Jane went out of her way to be home in time to kiss her kids good night, but tonight, she didn't think she could bring herself to go home at all until she solved this riddle. She had to end this, now.

But she was stuck. She couldn't crack the code. She went down to Maura's office, knowing a few minutes with her wife would calm her a bit. Maura was still there even though it was getting late, though whether she was desperate to crack the code herself or just unwilling to leave Jane was unclear. Either way, it comforted Jane to see her. Just the sight of Maura, with her reassuring smile and her enormous stomach with two babies kicking inside, seemed to lower Jane's blood pressure a little. She wanted Jane to take a nap on her office couch, but Jane couldn't let herself rest just yet.

"Do you ever wonder if it's worth it?" Jane asked. "This job?"

"Wow," said Maura, heaving herself up from her chair and coming over to sit with Jane. It was the first time Jane had ever seriously questioned her choice of career.

"Don't you ever feel like doing something else? Something that doesn't involve dead bodies?"

"Sure," said Maura. "I'd like to get an engineering degree and work with Elon Musk on SpaceX, or move to Maine and write mystery novels."

Maine? She would have to ask more about that later. "I can't think of any other life."

"Well, that's not true."

"It is. I mean, I guess I could just stay home and raise the kids, but that's what my mom did, and I wanted to be different. I wanted a career, and this is the only career I've ever seriously wanted, since I was old enough to think logically anyway."

Maura looked at her, and Jane wondered what she was thinking. Was she secretly relieved that Jane was finally thinking about leaving this dangerous job, or was Jane destroying her hero status in Maura's mind? Whichever it was, she seemed determined not to let on. That was Maura for you, always putting Jane's needs before her own. Sometimes Jane wanted to turn the tables on her, but Maura was so good at what she did, sometimes Jane couldn't even figure out what Maura's needs were in the moment, like right now. Would Maura be happy if Jane wasn't a cop anymore, or would she be disappointed? Would she give a direct answer if Jane asked?

"You're in the middle of a crisis," Maura said calmly. "And contrary to the worldview of romance novels and Elizabeth Gilbert, now is not a good time to make a decision."

"Who's Elizabeth Gilbert?"

" _Eat, Pray, Love_!" Maura said indignantly.

"Oh, god." Jane threw her head back. She remembered when Maura had read that book and gushed about how inspiring it was. Jane had thought she'd rather munch on broken glass than read a book like that.

"Maybe it would help if you'd lean in to the discomfort," Maura suggested.

"The same way you lean in to stilettos?" Jane asked with a wry smile, remembering the first time Maura had talked her into wearing those awful shoes.

"Yes, except the leaning in you're about to do doesn't make your butt look great," said Maura with a delicious grin, no doubt enjoying the same memory.

Jane sighed. "It doesn't make anything look great." She took a deep breath and forced herself to stand up. This little respite with the wife had been pleasant, but she needed to go back to trying to fix this thing before the next shoe dropped.

"No, Jane," Maura pleaded. "Come on. Stay."

"No, I'm good," Jane promised. "Really." She gave Maura a quick kiss and headed back upstairs.

She could not have imagined in that moment that it would be one of the most horrendous mistakes of her life.

~R&I~

It was Nina who helped her figure out that 5:26 referred to a Bible verse. She went rifling through the Bible her mother had given her when she made detective, hunting for a New Testament verse that might make sense. She found it in Matthew: "Truly I tell you, you will not get out until you have paid the last penny."

"So it's about revenge," she said. "But what would the last penny be?"

"The last thing you would ever want to lose," said Nina.

"That would be my family." Jane's mind reeled. Maura was safe down in her office, but what about Ma and the kids? "The watch. It was a gift. It had 'love, Ma' engraved on the back. What if he's after my mom, or my kids? Maybe he's attacking me as a mother; he wants to take away my children." She pulled out her phone and frantically dialed her mother. No answer. "I'm gonna go home and check on them."

"I'll drive you," said Korsak, jumping up.

"Nina, can you call dispatch?"

"On it," said Nina.

Jane dialed Frankie as they drove. She had been shitty to him earlier and he had left to have a drink at the Robber. She begged him now to meet her at her house. Then she went back to trying to call Angela, to no avail. She didn't have time to call Maura right now, and it would only make her want to come with them. She was safer in the morgue.

When she got home, the house looked peaceful, normal. She jumped out of the car while Korsak was still parking and went in quietly, gun drawn, finding no one on the first floor. She crept up the stairs, where she surprised her mother coming out of the guest bathroom.

"Why didn't you answer your phone?" she demanded through gritted teeth.

"I turned the ringer off after the baby went to sleep. I was running a bath. What's going on now?"

"I need to check on the kids." Jane went into the nursery, where Barry was sound asleep in his crib. Then she went up another flight of stairs and found Holly asleep in her bed, Marie Curie at her side as always.

"Jane, are you going to tell me what's happening?" Angela demanded when Jane came back down.

"I think he might be targeting my family. I was afraid…I was afraid he would get you and the kids."

"We're fine," Angela promised. "Police keep coming by. The kids were asking when you and Maura were coming home, but I told them you both had to work late, and they want to sleep."

They went downstairs, Korsak and Frankie joining them, and Angela decided to pour everyone a drink to calm their nerves.

Jane couldn't calm down, though. She was still waiting for the other shoe to drop, and it was now fully sinking in that she had left Maura at work alone, without telling her anything. What if Maura came to look for her and, hearing what had happened, decided to leave on her own? What if someone accosted her in the parking garage? Jane dialed her, looking for reassurance, but it didn't come. The phone rang and then went to voicemail. Jane hung up and dialed again, and again.

"I have to get back to the station," she told Korsak urgently. "Frankie, you stay here."

She dialed Maura over and over as Korsak drove her back to work. Once there, she ran to Maura's office, which was dark. The whole morgue was dark and empty, except for a few night employees in the crime lab, and they hadn't seen Maura. She called Nina as she went upstairs.

"Maura's not with you, is she?" she asked.

"No, why?"

"I don't know where she is. Can you trace her cell phone?"

"Of course."

By the time Jane got upstairs, Nina had identified the location of Maura's phone. She showed Jane and Korsak on a map.

"Why in hell would she be there?" Jane muttered. "Can you check with dispatch, see if she was called out there to look at a body?"

Nina checked, and dispatch said there was nothing. Jane was out the door before she could finish the sentence, Korsak hot on her heels.

When they got to the place where Maura's phone was pinging, they found her car sitting empty. The doors were locked, but Jane unlocked them and looked inside. Maura's purse was tucked under the seat, where she always left it when going out on a case. No phone.

There was crime scene tape nearby, in spite of dispatch saying there was no crime. Maura's phone was on the street, next to her medical bag. There were tracks in the dirt that looked like someone being dragged away. There was also blood.

Jane couldn't catch her breath. "It's my fault," she said. "I was too focused on the kids. I thought—"

"Of course you were focused on the kids," Korsak said. "They're the most vulnerable people in your life. You have to protect them."

"But Maura—"

"Is smart and strong and capable. She can handle this."

"She's also pregnant. _Very_ pregnant."

"We're gonna find her, Jane. Don't worry."

Don't worry? How the hell was she supposed to stop worrying when her wife and two unborn babies were in the hands of someone who had previously killed a woman just to send a message? Her mind raced with the possibilities of what Maura could be going through right now. Jane had always been there before to come to her rescue, but this man had been one step ahead of her all along. What if this was the time she couldn't come through?

There was no hope of getting any sleep that night. Once the crime scene had been processed and Jane had been allowed to reclaim Maura's things, she went back to the station, trying to go through files while waiting for the ransom call she hoped was coming.

When morning came, they still had heard nothing. Kent and Susie came in to help analyze the evidence. The blood they'd found wasn't Maura's, which meant it belonged to her abductor. Maura would have done that intentionally to leave something for Jane, and Jane couldn't help feeling a little proud. They also found some paint samples that they were able to trace, after hours of diligent research, to an empty asylum near the edge of town. Jane and the other detectives had already surmised by then that Dr. Joe Harris, a psychiatrist at the women's prison where their arsonist had been incarcerated, was the one who had killed the arsonist and taken Maura. What they still couldn't figure out was why. Now that they knew the location where Harris and Maura might be, Jane, Korsak, Frankie, and the entire SWAT team immediately stormed the building. They searched every room and found nothing…until Jane caught a whiff of Maura's perfume lingering in the air.

"She was here," Jane said with certainty. She'd know that perfume anywhere. How many hours had she spent inhaling that scent while holding Maura in her arms? She'd purchased a few bottles herself as gifts for Maura. She always had it on at work, to cover the scent of death that clung to her clothes.

The evidence in the room was grim. There was paint scraped away from a big pipe on the wall, meaning Maura had been chained up there. There were marks in the dust tracing a path where Maura had been dragged to a chair and then back to the pipe. Jane had to force herself to breathe evenly as she imagined her wife, her pregnant wife, being abused in this way. She would kill this fucker the second she found him.

There was more hopeful evidence in the room as well, thankfully. There was no blood, which was a good sign, and she found the word "tunnels" carved into the dust on the radiator in Maura's handwriting. She had left them a clue as to where she was headed next, which meant she was still alive and conscious right before she left this room.

They split up in the tunnels, Frankie going one way, Jane and Korsak the other. They had to walk quietly in the dark when Jane would rather have been running. When they heard the sound of someone moving around one corner, they stepped forward with guns and flashlights drawn…and found Maura.

She was on the floor, a look of sheer terror on her face as she brandished a jagged, rusty piece of metal. Her hair had been cut off and there was blood all down her front, and underneath her. "Oh, Jane," she breathed in relief.

"Maura, are you okay?" Jane asked, her voice breaking as she gently removed the piece of metal from her wife's hands.

"No," Maura said, and she began sobbing. "Jane, I need to get to a hospital. I was trying to get away from him as fast as I could, but I fell, and I think I ruptured the placenta. Jane, the babies are going to die if we don't get them out fast enough."

"Okay. Okay. There's an ambulance outside. Let's—" Suddenly they heard a gunshot and a crash from one of the other tunnels.

"I'll go," said Korsak. "You take care of her."

He ran off, and Jane turned back to Maura. "Can you walk?"

"I can try." Jane helped Maura stand, but she was only able to take a few steps before sinking back down. Her face crumpled. "I don't want my babies to die!" she sobbed.

"Our babies are going to be just fine," Jane promised. And for the second time in her life, she found herself channeling a strength she didn't know she had. The first time had been when she had to save Maura from Hoyt. The second was now, in the dark tunnels under an abandoned asylum, when she lifted her pregnant wife into her arms and carried her outside to the waiting ambulance.

Out in the daylight, the situation looked even worse. Maura's pants were absolutely soaked with blood, and Jane had never seen her so panicked. Paramedics rushed out to help her onto a gurney, just as a bullet whizzed past them.

Turning and drawing her gun, Jane saw Joe Harris himself, looking a bit worse for the wear after his time with Maura. Jane fired back, hitting him, but he still got in another shot. Jane hit him again, and this time he went down.

She wanted to run over there and see if he was still conscious, ask him why he had singled her out, but she didn't have time. She could see Korsak heading in his direction and knew he would take care of it. Instead, she got on the ambulance with Maura.

"Our bad guy is down, so it's safe to drive," she said, taking Maura's hand. "How are you feeling?" she asked her.

"Scared," Maura whispered.

Jane brushed Maura's hair out of her face. "Did you hurt you?"

Maura shook her head. "He hit me, and he cut my hair. That's all. I hurt myself more trying to get away." Fresh tears slipped down her face.

"You were right to get away. I'm guessing you're the reason his throat was bleeding?"

"Yes, I attacked him so I could have time to get away. But then I couldn't find the way out."

"You did great, Maura." Jane kissed her head. "And I guess we're going to meet these babies soon."

As soon as they got to the hospital, Maura was prepped for surgery. She would need an emergency C-section. Jane had to change into scrubs to be present for this, which she willingly did.

When she came into the operating room, she saw Maura strapped to the table in a gown and cap with an oxygen mask on.

"We just gave her an epidural, but she's going into shock," the doctor explained. "It'll help if you talk to her. Try to reassure her."

Reassurances weren't going to come naturally to Jane right now, considering that her wife was bleeding profusely and a doctor they didn't know was about to cut her open and pull a couple babies out, but she knew she had to try.

"All right, baby," said Jane, sitting down next to Maura's head and taking her hand while the staff put up a screen to block their view of her belly. "We're gonna meet our twins soon. Are you ready?"

Maura struggled to focus on Jane's face. "I'm cold," she said, her voice muffled by the mask. She was shivering violently.

"Let's get the babies out and then we can get you warm, okay? Let's just think about the babies right now. They're going to be so beautiful. You know how I know?"

Maura shook her head slightly.

"Because they're coming out of the most beautiful woman in the whole world." Jane stroked Maura's cheek. "They're going to be perfect, just like you."

"We're about to have Baby Number One out," said the doctor. Jane held her breath, praying that the baby would be breathing when she came out. A moment later, they heard a loud squalling.

"That's her!" Jane breathed. "Maura, she's okay, she's here!" She kissed Maura's cheek and then stood up to see the baby.

"Here she is, if you want to hold her," the doctor said, holding up a slimy, screaming baby.

"Of course I do," said Jane, gratefully taking the baby into her arms and holding her close against her chest, turning to let Maura see her. She was relieved to see a smile forming on her wife's face. "This one can be Rose," she said, remembering the names they'd picked out.

"Rose," Maura said softly.

A minute later, the doctor announced that the second baby was out, but there was no crying this time. The nurses that had been checking Rose over suddenly flocked over to the new baby, the one they would call Annabella.

"What's wrong?" Jane asked.

"She's having a little trouble breathing," the doctor explained. "We're going to have to get her to the NICU."

Maura pulled her mask off. "Jane, you go with her," she said, her voice sounding suddenly stronger.

"I'll take this baby," said one of the nurses, taking Rose and moving her to the warming bed next to Maura. Jane turned and hurried after Annabella to the NICU, where she watched, helpless, as the staff crowded around the baby, putting a tiny oxygen mask and various sensors on her. After a few minutes, Jane heard a small cry.

"There," someone murmured. "We won't need to intubate. She's going to be fine." The man turned to smile at Jane. "I'm Dirk Stevens, respiratory therapist. The baby's breathing fine on her own now. We just need to give her a few minutes to stabilize, and then we can take her to her mother."

"That's great," said Jane, feeling like she was just starting to breathe again herself. She walked up to the cot and bent down to kiss the baby's hand. "Hi Annabella," she whispered. "I knew you'd be okay. You're strong, just like your Mummy." She stood up and realized she was crying. A nurse handed her a tissue.

"Ms. Rizzoli?" Jane turned around and saw one of the nurses from the operating room in the doorway. "Your wife is all stapled up now. She's in a room with the other baby. I can take you to her if you want."

Jane looked back at Annabella, torn. "She'll be fine," the NICU nurse promised. "We'll have her out to you in just a little bit."

"Okay." Jane followed the OR nurse to the room where Maura had been taken. She was off oxygen now, and she was already nursing Rose. Jane paused in the doorway for a moment, just watching. It was just about the most beautiful thing she had ever seen.

"Jane," Maura said, looking up. "How is Annabella?"

"She's breathing on her own. They're gonna bring her down as soon as her vitals stabilize."

"Oh, thank goodness," said Maura.

"So I guess this one came out hungry?" Jane approached the bed.

"Yes, she wanted to eat right away. She latched right on." Maura smiled down at the baby proudly.

"Good, we needed something to be easy after everything we've been through today." She sat down by the bed. "You sure you're okay?"

"I am now. I'll be better when they bring me Annabella."

"Me too." Jane examined her wife's face. She looked exhausted, but other than a busted lip, she had no visible injuries. "I was so scared you wouldn't be okay, and the babies too. I don't know what I would have done if I lost you."

Maura looked troubled. "He said I was going to die, but he didn't say how."

"Well, I think he's dead now, so you don't have to worry about him anymore."

"Yes, but Jane, he wasn't working alone. I heard him on the phone to someone, and it sounded like he was taking orders."

Jane felt a chill, but she wasn't altogether surprised. Harris didn't even know her, so how could he be the one behind all this? "Could you figure anything out about who he was talking to?"

Maura shook her head. "Not at all."

"All right, well I'll let Korsak know. I'm going to be on leave for a while, so someone else is going to have to try to figure this out while I focus on my family."

Maura smiled. Rose had fallen asleep, so she covered her breast and just let the baby rest on her chest.

"You're still shaking," Jane observed.

"I'm still recovering from the shock," said Maura. "I can't seem to get warm."

"I wish I could get in the bed and spoon you," Jane said wistfully. "I'd warm you up."

"I'd like that, but I literally just got cut open and had two babies removed from my uterus. I'm not up to spooning just yet."

"Well, I'm ready whenever you are." Jane really wanted nothing more right now than to hold Maura in her arms and never let her go, but that just wasn't possible yet.

Just then a nurse came in, wheeling a warming bed that contained an oxygen mask-free Annabella.

The baby's eyes were already open when Jane scooped her out of the bassinet and kissed her little cheek. "That's my girl," Jane murmured. "Come see your Mummy! You've seen the inside, and now you can look at the outside. See how beautiful she is?" She placed the baby into Maura's free arm and stood back to watch proudly as her wife held both babies at once, bending her head down to give Annabella a kiss.

"I can't believe how alert she is," she said softly. "Now would be a good time to try nursing her."

"Here, I'll take Rose." Jane picked up the sleeping baby and sat with her on the couch, holding her close against her chest. She watched Maura work to get Annabella latched on, observing the look of satisfaction on the baby's face when she finally figured out what to do. As she listened to Maura talking softly to the infant, Jane felt her body start to relax. She knew the thing they were dealing with wasn't over, but she also knew that it had taken some planning to orchestrate Maura's kidnapping, and it would take time for whoever was doing this to regroup and try something else. So they got a break, and for now, all she cared about was the woman and the two tiny little girls in front of her.


	30. Chapter 30

Chapter 30

Episodes 6.14: Murderjuana and 7.1: Two Shots: Move Forward

Having the twins was a completely different experience in motherhood for Maura, not just because there were two newborns (which would certainly be enough to put her over the edge if she didn't have Jane to help with the midnight feedings), but because they looked so much like her. The bigger they got, the more they resembled her, and it was such a strange and wonderful feeling.

Maura had spent most of her life wondering what it was like to look into someone's face and see her own features reflected back. When it finally happened, it wasn't quite as she'd dreamed. First it was Colin, who was dead; then Paddy, who was a murderer; then Hope, who rejected her (Cailin didn't really count, since she looked exactly like her own father and had no features in common with Maura). Looking into the faces of little Rose and little Annabella allowed her to finally see something of herself without any complicated feelings of grief or horror or betrayal. She just felt love.

It was unfortunate that such a wonderful experience had to come at such a stressful time.

Ever since the kidnapping, Maura had been having nightmares and flashbacks. She kept going back to those terrifying moments when she was crouching alone in that dark tunnel, blood gushing between her legs, terrified that her babies were going to die. They were alive, thank goodness, but the threat was still out there. She didn't want to let them out of her sight. She wanted to keep all her children close, and Jane too. Jane felt the same way, hardly able to sleep for fear of whoever was behind the kidnapping breaking into the house.

"I now have five people in my life that I love more than I love myself," she pointed out, "and this bastard knows that."

Holly was also having nightmares. Although Barry didn't really understand what had happened, Holly knew her Mummy had been in danger, and she was afraid Maura would be killed just like her first mother had been. She often climbed into Jane and Maura's bed in the night, and neither of them had the heart to turn her away. Sometimes Jane would go get Barry too just so the entire family could be in one room. It was the only time they could feel confident that everyone was safe.

Life had to go on. There was no getting away from it. Jane and Maura both got 12 weeks off of work to care for the newborns, but Holly still had to go to school. Jane took her to and from school herself each day, wearing her duty belt even though she wasn't going to work. The school had been given clear instructions that Holly was to be picked up at the office each day instead of waiting outside, and they were to call the police if anyone outside of their short list of approved adults came to get her. The school was already in the practice of keeping the doors locked during the day, and the playground was not accessible, or even visible, from the street. Still, Maura breathed a sigh of relief every afternoon when Jane brought Holly safely back home.

In June, the school year ended, and for one sweet month, Maura enjoyed spending time at home with Jane and all four kids. The twins grew like weeds. Barry turned two, and Holly turned eight. Maura went to therapy to help herself deal with the trauma of her abduction. Jane became obsessive about making sure the house was locked up. Korsak, Frankie, and Nina continued searching for the stalker.

Maura was alone with the twins one day when there was a knock at the door. She timidly peered out the window, wondering if someone had been out there just waiting for Jane to leave. Jane was walking to the Common with Holly, Barry in his stroller. The twins were napping in matching bassinets in the living room.

She was relieved to see that the person on her doorstep was just Hope. She was holding a wrapped gift.

"Hope," said Maura, opening the door just wide enough to admit the older woman. "I wasn't expecting you. Come on in."

"I hope it's not a bad time. I had been meaning to come over with gifts for the new babies," said Hope. "I would have come sooner, but I was out of the country…"

"No, it's fine. They're both asleep." Maura led Hope to the kitchen. "You just missed Jane. She's taking the older kids to the park so they don't wake the twins."

"Can I have a look at them?" Hope asked. "I promise not to wake them up."

"Of course." Maura led her to the living room, where the two sisters slept side by side.

"Oh, they're so precious!" said Hope. "Look at them!"

"I know," said Maura, unable to hide a proud smile. "Sometimes I can't believe they came out of me."

"I can," said Hope, smiling at Maura. "They look just like you."

"They do greatly resemble my baby pictures," Maura agreed. "Jane is beside herself. She says they're both going to be knockouts."

"They may break a few hearts," Hope agreed. "But that's a long way off. I'm very happy for you and Jane."

"Thank you," said Maura, returning to the kitchen to make tea. "We're tired, but happy. I never imagined having four kids…but I love each of them so much, I can't imagine my life without any of them."

Hope sat on the couch when Maura brought her tea. "Angela called me after you were kidnapped," she said. "How are you doing?"

"I'm okay," said Maura. "I'm still struggling with the after-effects, but I'm just glad the babies and I made it out all right, and that the whole family has been safe since then."

"It's normal for twins to be born early, of course, but the circumstances did sound horrible."

"It was the most frightened I've ever been," Maura admitted. "I was so terrified of losing the babies, I hardly even thought about the possibility of losing my own life. When Jane got there, I had never been so glad to see her before. She actually carried me out to the ambulance, as heavy as I was! She threw her back out, but she didn't care. She just wanted us safe."

"She's a good wife," said Hope. "I know she doesn't like me, but…she would do anything for you."

"And for them." Annabella began to fuss, and Maura jumped up quickly to get her before she could wake Rose. "Do you mind if I nurse her?" she asked Hope when she returned to the couch. The question was just a formality; her baby was hungry, and she was going to nurse her.

"No, go ahead," said Hope, politely averting her eyes as Maura undid her shirt.

Maura was quiet for a moment while her daughter latched on. "I thought I would lose this one," she said softly. "Annabella."

"What happened?" Hope asked. "I only got the gist of it all from Angela."

"My placenta ruptured when I was trying to get away from my kidnapper," Maura explained. "Jane found me soon after and got me to the ambulance they had ready. They rushed me to the hospital, where I have an emergency C-section. Rose came out first, and she started crying right away. Then they got Annabella out, and she didn't cry. She couldn't seem to draw breath."

"Oh, Maura. That must have been so frightening."

Maura nodded, blinking back tears. "They rushed her to the NICU, fearing they would have to intubate her. Fortunately she began breathing on her own once they gave her oxygen. Jane came to check on me while they were getting her stats back up, and when she walked through the door with no baby, I thought…I thought she was coming to tell me we'd lost her." A tear slipped down her cheek.

"Well, she looks good now," said Hope.

"She's perfect now. They both are." Maura leaned down and kissed the top of Annabella's head. "I don't know what I would have done if she hadn't made it."

"It's the worst feeling in the world," agreed Hope.

Maura looked up at her. "I've been wondering about that," she said. "You thought I died when I was born."

Hope nodded. "I held you for a few minutes, and then they took you away to clean and weigh you. Paddy went with them. Then he came back and told me you had died."

"What was the cause of death?"

"What do you mean? You weren't really dead."

"But you thought I was. They must have told you a cause of death."

"He just said you stopped breathing. I didn't question it."

"That's the part I'm having trouble with," said Maura, brushing a tear aside and then switching Annabella to her other breast. "How could you not question it? You were in a hospital. You wanted to become a doctor. They said your baby was dead, and you…didn't even ask to see the body?"

"I did, but they told me it would be too upsetting. I trusted the hospital staff. I didn't know…it was a hospital in Southie, and I assume the Doyle family had connections. Paddy got them to lie because it saved your life."

"And you've forgiven him for this? For making you believe your baby had died when I hadn't?"

"No, I—"

"You kept defending him! You didn't even want to testify against him! And after you found out about his mob connections, and after you became a doctor, you _had_ to know! You had to know something wasn't right. Didn't you wonder?"

"That part of my life was over," Hope said, shaking. "It was over. I didn't question it."

Annabella had stopped nursing, and Maura laid the baby on her shoulder, rubbing her back. "If she hadn't made it, I would have demanded to know everything. I would have needed to know exactly what happened. I would have insisted on seeing her, and no one could have stopped me." Maura's eyes flashed. "And there would have been hell to pay."

"Now you do sound like Paddy's daughter."

"I am nothing like Paddy. But if my daughter had died, I think it would have driven me to do desperate things. The people responsible for it would have paid. And I would never, _ever_ have gotten over her."

"Maura…I didn't mean I was _over_ you…"

"Weren't you, though? You saw my picture in the newspaper and refused to believe I was your daughter. I _told_ you I was your daughter, and you didn't believe me."

"Are you ever going to forgive me for that?"

Maura closed her eyes, holding her baby close. She could not imagine letting her go and just moving on with her life. "I don't know," she said truthfully. "It just gets harder and harder for me to understand. I think it just hurts to know you didn't love me the way I love my children."

"Maura. That's not true."

Maura thought of Hope's reaction to finding out Maura was her daughter, and the fact that she didn't speak to her for months afterwards, and then only to ask her to give her kidney to Cailin. She simply couldn't imagine behaving that way towards her own children. "I think I would feel better if you admitted it," she said softly. "I think part of the reason we've never been able to get off on the right foot is because you have never been completely honest with me, and I don't trust you."

Hope swallowed. "Well I certainly can't accuse you of being anything but brutally honest with me."

"That's what I want from you, Hope."

"Fine," Hope said with a sigh. "I was eighteen when I got pregnant, and I was terrified my future would be ruined. Paddy was my first serious boyfriend, and I understood the importance of using birth control, but I just didn't bother because, like many teenagers, I believed I was invincible. So I felt very foolish when I realized I was pregnant, but I couldn't bring myself to do anything but keep you. I was in love with Paddy, and I thought together we could make it work. I had absolutely no plan for what to do with you when you were born. I never even told my parents I was pregnant; I just told them I was taking summer classes and made excuses for not visiting. I lived in a dorm. My friends all went home for the summer and never knew I was pregnant. It was just Paddy and me against the world, or so I thought. He told me he knew the doctors at the hospital in Southie, so he took me there when I went into labor. I loved you immediately when you were born, but I was petrified. I had nothing to give you but the name I'd picked out. I always loved the name Maura. You didn't even seem real to me, up until that moment when I held you. So when they said you had died, I felt relief. I felt like I was waking up from a dream. And then I felt so much guilt for being relieved."

"So that was why you didn't demand to see my body."

"I was a mess. I didn't do a lot of things that would have been sensible. Paddy ended our relationship not long after. He told people that both you and I had died. He even had you buried in Southie, or so I thought. Your grave was the only place we could meet, and we stayed in touch that way, but we weren't in a relationship anymore. It was too dangerous. And the more I learned about Paddy's mob ties, the more I realized I hadn't known what I was getting into when I had his baby. I didn't want to be attached to the mob for life, and I didn't want an innocent child growing up that way either. I decided it was for the best that you had died."

"And later? When I was in the papers?"

"I saw you, and in my heart I knew you were my Maura. It would have been too much of a coincidence otherwise. But it seemed too horrible to think that my baby had been alive all those years and that I had just abandoned her, so I convinced myself it wasn't you. Even when I met you, I was just certain you had to be someone else. I wasn't even sure how you could be _Paddy's_ daughter. I had myself so convinced that I truly didn't believe you when you told me the truth."

"But then you figured it out, and you still didn't contact me until you needed something."

Hope sighed again. "You're right. I didn't want you to be alive. I didn't want you to be my Maura, because you were so much better than I deserved. It was so much better to think of that baby as being dead, and to believe it was for the best."

Maura closed her eyes. "And now?"

"You're still better than I deserve, but I'm selfish enough to want to claim you as my daughter anyway. It might have been easier on me if you _had_ died at birth, because at least then I wouldn't have to answer to you for my mistakes, but I'm awfully glad you didn't."

Maura opened her eyes again. "Thank you for being honest."

"Do you want me to leave now?"

"No." Maura smiled weakly. "You haven't been a very good mother to me, but I'm willing to give you a chance to be better, if that's what you want."

Hope smiled back. "I'll try."

Maura jumped when the front door opened, but to her relief, it was just Jane coming back, wrestling a sleeping Barry in his stroller while Holly chattered behind her. "Oh, Hope," said Jane in surprise, her eyes automatically moving to Maura to see how she felt about this. Holly fell silent.

"I won't be staying. I just brought by a gift for the babies," Hope said, standing. "It was good to see you, Maura."

She gave Maura a quick hug, and Maura walked her to the door, promising to call soon. Holly solemnly watched her go. Maura knew she would never run to Hope and call her Grandma.

"Well that was nice," said Jane, reaching for the baby in Maura's arms and kissing her chubby little cheek. "Hi Bella!"

"She's certainly trying," Maura agreed.

"Are you okay? I always feel the need to ask that after Hope has been here."

"I'm okay. I've just realized I need to accept that she's someone who has come into my life as an adult and is getting to know me now, not someone who has loved and missed me all my life as I imagined. And it's hard for me to understand that, because I think my reaction to losing a baby would have been very, very different from hers."

"What, you wouldn't have devoted your life to atoning for your dead baby and then totally freaked out when you discovered she was alive after all?"

Maura smiled. "No. But that doesn't mean I can't forgive Hope for doing it. Her circumstances were a lot different from mine." She kissed Jane tenderly. "I'm just grateful to have my own family now that _does_ want me."

"We think you're perfect," said Jane, slipping an arm around Maura. "Don't we, Bella?"

~R&I~

The week after Hope's visit, Jane and Maura had to return to work. Angela was now juggling four kids during the day, but she insisted it was no big deal to her. "I had three kids close in age, and half the neighborhood was at our house any given day. These four are easy," she insisted.

The hard part for Maura was learning to focus on her work without worrying about her family or letting intrusive flashbacks get the better for her, which was often a problem when looking at corpses and crime scenes. She did her best to use the tools her therapist taught her. She used her grounding techniques. She kept a journal. She even signed up to take a creative writing course online, which was hard to squeeze in, but worth it. She had always wanted to take up writing, but just never seemed to have the time. The class gave her something new to think about, something that was entirely hers. And she was pretty sure Jane liked the love poem she wrote her for one assignment!

Jane, who was stubbornly refusing therapy, was not coping as well. She was terrified of something happening to her children while she wasn't home. Korsak let her go back into the field even though her stalking case had not yet been solved, and she made Maura agree not to go to any crime scenes without her (Kent would cover the others), but she felt like she was leaving the kids unprotected. She talked to her ex-boyfriend Martinez about getting security cameras that couldn't be hacked and put them up at the house without even consulting Maura. Maura took them down as soon as she found out. She didn't want her family under surveillance, and she sure as hell didn't want Jane in Martinez's debt.

The twins were six months old by the time they identified the woman who had nearly caused their death.

Yes, it was a woman who was doing this. Her name was Alice Sands, and she had gone to the Police Academy with Jane, but had dropped out after getting frustrated that Jane was the best at everything. She had developed an obsession with Jane, a belief that Jane was the reason her life had gone off course. Now all she wanted was revenge.

Unfortunately, tracking Alice down proved to be a challenge, and she found them before they could find her.

~R&I~

Maura was close to dozing off when she heard Jane coming up the stairs. She felt scared; Jane had left suddenly, saying she needed to go somewhere to think, which she never did. Everything was in chaos. Constance was visiting, and she had stayed home with the children while Jane, Maura, and Angela went to Korsak's wedding (his fourth). Alice had showed up just as they were all leaving the reception and fired two shots into the crowd. One missed completely, while the other hit Nina in the shoulder. Maura had fallen during the rush to get back inside and hit her head on the brick wall of the Dirty Robber, causing a small subdural hematoma. The hematoma was stable and she didn't need to be hospitalized, but she was experiencing dizziness and cognitive problems. It made her nervous to be home without Jane, even with all the kids sleeping.

She was relieved when Jane shucked off her clothes and slid into bed beside her.

"Where were you?" Maura whispered.

"Church," Jane admitted.

"Why? You haven't gone to church in the entire time I've known you, except for weddings and christenings."

"It's been even longer than that. But I just needed to pray, tonight. I needed to talk to a priest."

"You're feeling helpless," Maura observed. Jane had never been one to waste time on prayers when there was work to be done.

"More helpless than I've felt in my entire life." Jane turned to face Maura. "This woman is a threat to my entire family, and she has been one step ahead of me this whole time. I'm supposed to protect you. I'm supposed to protect all of you."

Maura reached for Jane's face in the dark, wiping away the tear she found there. "You _have_ protected us, and you _will_ catch her."

"I have to. I just…have to."

"But what will you do when you do catch her?"

"Whatever I have to do to make sure my family is safe."

"You know we could never be safe without you, right?"

"Why would you even ask that?"

"I just don't want you to do anything dangerous."

Jane reached for Maura's hand, bringing it to her lips. "I'll do everything in my power to bring her down and come home safe to you."

Maura snuggled in closer, feeling herself enveloped in Jane's warmth. "That's all I can ask for."


	31. Chapter 31

**Author's note: Well, here we are at the final chapter! Just a couple quick things I want to address based on some reviews I've gotten:**

 **1\. Some people sound a little confused about Alice Sands in the reviews. This was a huge storyline in seasons 6 and 7, so if you haven't watched those seasons, you are going to be a little confused about some things. The story is written with people who have seen the entire series in mind, so I haven't wanted to waste people's time by going into a lot of detail about things anyone who has seen the show will already know. Only a few chapters have original plots, and the rest are just adaptations of what actually happened on the show, which is the whole point of the story.**

 **2\. I have to give points for originality to everyone who has been convinced something has to be hidden in Holly's doll! I promise, the doll is just a doll, with nothing hidden inside. No one was ever looking for the doll. Holly was just afraid of someone stealing her doll because it's her prized possession and she was 7 at the time - too young to realize nobody would steal an ordinary doll! I just want to go ahead and put that theory to rest :)**

 **Please enjoy the final chapter!**

Chapter 31

Episodes 7.7: Dead Weight, 7.8: 2M7258-100, 7.12: Yesterday, Today, Tomorrow, and 7.13: Ocean-Frank

Almost dying could make you think some weird thoughts.

It certainly seemed to be doing that to Maura. With Alice Sands dead, they could finally get back to some semblance of normalcy, but Maura had other ideas. She suddenly decided to get back into fencing, a sport she'd loved in her boarding school days. It was partly to get her abs back in shape after having the twins, and partly because she thought it would be good for her brain, which was still struggling to recover after that awful head injury. So she and Holly joined a fencing club, and it became their own special mother-daughter thing. Jane had to admit Holly looked adorable in the little uniform, and Maura…well, it wasn't exactly a sexy costume, but Maura would look good in anything. Watching her with a sword _was_ incredibly hot. She was really good at it, and she even started entering tournaments, which Jane faithfully attended with some combination of children in tow, even though she couldn't figure out which of the giant sword-wielding tampons was her wife most of the time. When she complained about this, Maura solved the problem by getting a custom sabre guard with the Red Sox logo on it, to show the world that Jane was the one she was fighting for. Jane was a bit surprised to find herself suddenly married to a knight, but she just rolled with it.

Maura was also getting more serious about her writing. She wanted to write a mystery novel, and she even went to a big mystery writers' convention, where she met writers and editors who were interested in her work. Jane knew all about the important connections Maura made that night because Maura forced Jane to come with her, wearing the sexy dress she had picked out for the express purpose of showing all the mystery writers how hot her detective wife was. All of the writers wanted to talk to Jane and Maura as soon as they found out their job titles, wanting to get information on police work or autopsies for their own works in progress. Maura loved answering their questions. Jane hated it.

But it wasn't just Maura who was trying new things. Much to Jane's surprise, someone from the FBI contacted her and invited her to come to the academy in Quantico in January and do a guest lecture on interrogation methods. Apparently Agent Dean had recommended her, so he must have forgiven her for turning him down all those years ago – either that, or he was punishing her for it. Jane's first instinct was to say no, but Maura disagreed.

"I can't just leave you alone with the kids," Jane argued.

"You wouldn't be leaving me alone. I'll have your mother," Maura pointed out. "And it's only for three days. I've left you for that long before. We'll be just fine."

"But it's teaching a class. I don't know how to teach."

"You taught Holly how to tie her shoes, and how to ride a bike without training wheels."

"That's different. She's my own kid, and I was just showing her how to do stuff."

"That's what teaching _is_. You'll be great at it! I think it would be healthy for you to get a new experience."

"I'm happy with the experiences I'm already having," Jane insisted.

Maura kissed her. "You could bring me back a t-shirt from the FBI shop."

"Since when do you wear t-shirts?"

"I wear them when I'm working out, or running!"

"When's the last time you had the time to go for a run?"

Maura gave her an exasperated smile. "If you buy it, I will wear it."

"Fine, I'll go, but just to get you the shirt," Jane grumbled.

As happened entirely too often for Jane's comfort, Maura turned out to be right. Jane really enjoyed doing the guest lecture. Once she got over the initial awkwardness, she found herself developing a natural rapport with the recruits, and soon she found that they were enjoying her little lesson. What surprised her more was when Agent Davies, the real instructor of the class, told her the next day that they had an instructor position coming open soon and that he thought she should apply. She said no, of course. She wasn't about to uproot her family and move them to Washington DC, especially not when her wife was the chief medical examiner of the Commonwealth. But it got the wheels in her head turning. Was it possible that she could find a fulfilling career outside of police work, something that might be a little safer for her and her family?

She didn't tell Maura about the offer. She was just happy to be back home. Once the kids were in bed, Maura poured some wine and opened the present Jane had brought her. Ever the romantic, Jane had put the FBI t-shirt she'd hastily grabbed at the airport into a gift bag. She did like to make Maura feel special.

But when Maura unfolded the shirt, she knew right away it had not come from Quantico.

"I don't think I can wear this around the children," she said, turning the shirt around. While it had just said FBI on the front, the back – which Jane hadn't looked at – spelled it out as "Female Boob Inspector."

"Okay," said Jane. "Well, I don't know where you _can_ wear it, but you have to admit, it is fitting. You are a female who likes boobs."

Maura giggled. "Are you saying you want me to inspect yours?"

Jane moved over to the couch. "Baby, you can inspect my boobs all night long." She moved in for a kiss.

Maura's hands slowly crept up the inside of Jane's shirt. "And then when I'm done, it can be your turn to wear the t-shirt."

"I'll do anything you want, Sugar Tits."

~R&I~

The following month, Jane took an undercover assignment in a women's jail. Maura was, as usual, fully supportive of Jane's decision. To help keep Jane safe, she painted a temporary tattoo of a lion on her (Jane picked a lion because Maura was a Leo, and it was a way to sort of keep Maura with her). Angela, however, completely freaked out.

"You have a wife and four children depending on you!" she hissed when she found out. "When are you going to stop taking every dangerous assignment that comes up? Someone else could go in!"

"I'm going to be fine," Jane insisted. "The prison guards know I'm an undercover cop. They're looking out for me. I have a safe word, and I can get out any time I need to. And my own wife isn't trying to stop me, so why should you?"

"Maura thinks you're some kind of superhero," Angela pointed out. "You're no superhero to me. You're my little girl, and you keep putting yourself in danger. Frankie doesn't do stuff like this!"

"Frankie doesn't live up to his potential because he's too afraid of scaring his mother!"

"It wouldn't kill you to think of someone besides yourself sometimes!" Angela wiped away a tear. "I don't want to explain to my grandchildren why their mama isn't coming home."

Jane did come home, of course, and she was fine aside from a big bruise on her face, which Maura was visibly concerned about. Her mother's words stung, though. She had a point. Jane had always gone all in with her job, and she had always been proud of that, but maybe it didn't make sense anymore. Maybe it was time to go all in on something else…like her family.

She and Maura had been looking through pictures recently, trying to update their frames. There were so many moments of the kids' lives that she had missed out on because of work: Holly's dance recital, Barry's first steps, Rose's first time crawling. There was a whole series of pictures of a fun winter day spent on the Common while Jane was busy chasing down some lead. Holly and Maura had ice skated together on the Frog Pond, Barry had built a lopsided snowman with help from his Uncle Frankie, and Angela had pulled the twins around in matching baby sleds. The kids were going to have so many fun family memories, and Jane would only be in half of them.

"What would you think if I left the force?" Jane asked Maura in bed one night.

Maura looked up, startled. "What would you do instead?"

"Maybe go back to school, get a degree, see if I could get a job teaching at the Academy? I mean, you don't have to get a degree for that, but it might open up some more possibilities. I'm just thinking…I really connected with those FBI recruits, and I think I could do the same with police recruits. And I could work regular hours, maybe even part-time hours, and spend more time with you and the kids."

"And you wouldn't get shot at anymore," Maura pointed out.

"So, you want me to do it?"

"I want you to do what you want," said Maura. "I want you to be safer, but I'll miss you if you leave BPD. So, don't think you have to do anything on my account."

"What about their account?" said Jane, motioning towards a picture of the kids that sat on the nightstand.

Maura gave her a bittersweet smile. "I think they would like to see more of you."

~R&I~

So Jane applied to BCU for the second time in her life; and, for the second time, she was accepted. The difference was that this time, she had the funds to pay the tuition. After all, her wife was loaded.

At first, she only told Maura about her acceptance. She was going to study criminal justice, a program that would open various possibilities in the future. It would help her make lieutenant if she returned to the force someday. It would help her to qualify for an instructor position at Boston Police Academy. Hell, it would even help her get into law school in the future if she ever decided to launch a career as a prosecutor.

Maura was immensely proud of Jane, but she teared up whenever she talked about doing her job without her wife.

"You'll be okay," Jane promised her. "It's not like you won't see me. I _do_ live in your house.

"I know, but I'll have to take those midnight calls alone."

"Well, once you get your novel published and it becomes a bestseller, you might switch careers too."

Maura blushed. "It remains to be seen if anyone will buy it."

But Jane knew they would. Maura had only written a few chapters of her mystery novel so far, but the plot was brilliant. It started with a man being found dead with a stiletto in his temple, which was the most Maura-ish way of murdering someone that Jane could imagine. And Maura had already been put in touch with the editor of a prominent publishing company, who was interested in reading her novel.

Unfortunately, after reading the first few chapters, he told her that while the plot was good, her characters were flat and her descriptions just didn't pop. Jane would have punched the guy if she could have, but that wouldn't help Maura get her book deal, so instead she suggested Maura try some new things, find a way to make the story more real in her mind.

"You were right," Maura said one day when she came to get Jane from her desk at the end of a work day. Jane had just put her notice in at BPD so she could spend the summer with her family before starting the next chapter in her life. Korsak had just filed for retirement, so neither of them would be here much longer. Jane was savoring the normal while she still had it.

"Of course I was right," she said. "What was I right about?"

"I need to do something different in order to make this book come alive," said Maura. "I need a change of scenery. My book is set in France, so I talked to my parents, and they're not using their Paris apartment for the next few months. What if we went to Paris for a month once you leave BPD, and I could finish the book there while immersing myself in the culture?"

"Okay," said Jane slowly. "And what will we do with the kids during this month?"

Maura frowned. "Take them with us, of course! It's a four-bedroom apartment."

"We wouldn't be…you know…doing it in the same bed where your parents…"

Maura laughed. "We don't have to sleep in that particular bedroom. I think it would be great for the kids to spend some time abroad!"

"Okay," said Jane. "Well, I have time on my hands, so why not?"

"Yay!" Maura clapped her hands excitedly. "It's going to be such a fun adventure, for all of us!"

~R&I~

Jane's last day at BPD was the same as Korsak's, and was also Maura's last day at work before going to Paris. They had everything packed and ready for them to leave the following day. Jane couldn't help getting emotional when she wrapped her last case. After work, they all went to a Bon Voyage party Angela was throwing at the Dirty Robber. Kent and Susie showed a video montage they'd made of everyone saying goodbye, including Maura tearfully saying that the job had given her not just fulfilling work, but the big family she'd always dreamed of. Then Maura showed a picture slideshow she'd made of her years working with Jane. Jane couldn't help tearing up a little herself when she saw the early pictures with Frost, but the whole thing made her emotional.

One night, six years ago, Jane had been very frightened because her own personal bogeyman had escaped from prison, and she had decided to go to her friend Maura's apartment for the very first time. Maura had casually gotten into bed with Jane that night – originally planning just to chat – and Jane had dared to make a joke about Maura being attracted to her. Maura had admitted later that she had almost laughed it off, but instead she answered honestly, and they discovered they had a mutual attraction. Then they had made love, for the very first of what would be countless times.

There were a lot of little decisions they had both made that night that led to something much bigger, and if any of those split-second decisions had gone the other way, Maura might be sitting next to Jane tonight as her best friend while each of them continued to harbor secret feelings for the other.

But they had made the right choices that night, and it had turned into the biggest and most beautiful adventure of their entire lives. Together, they had survived so many things. Maura had finally found her biological family, and had not be altogether pleased with what she had found, but Jane had supported her through all of it. Jane had survived shooting herself and her parents' divorce. They had faced Hoyt down together and emerged victorious. They had both survived multiple attempts on their lives, and their relationship had even made it through a near-breakup when Jane shot Paddy. Jane had seen Maura through a kidney donation and her biological father's trial. They had gotten each other through losing Frost and nearly losing Susie. Jane had survived jumping off a bridge (and even got Maura's forgiveness for doing such a stupid thing), and they had triumphed over a horrible stalker who had tried to ruin both their lives.

More importantly, they had gotten married, adopted a daughter who amazed them every day, and brought three more incredible children into the world. They would celebrate their fifth wedding anniversary in the fall. Holly was almost nine now, Barry nearly three, Rose and Annabella a year old. Their lives had changed in so many ways over the past several years, all because Jane had dared to ask a question that could easily have been interpreted as a joke, and because Maura had chosen to give a serious answer.

Rose had dozed off in Jane's arms during the video. Annabella looked close to doing the same as she sat on Maura's lap, next to Jane. Jane couldn't get over how much they both looked like Maura. Each girl had a headful of honey blonde hair now, inquisitive hazel eyes, and a smattering of freckles (Maura didn't have those anymore, but Jane knew she had as a child). Both of them were brilliant, hitting milestone after milestone ahead of schedule – but really, all of the children had been that way.

Barry was running around the Dirty Robber, playing hide and seek with T.J., who was now four. Barry looked a lot like Frankie had at that age with his wild dark curls, but he had Jane's dimples – and her mischief. He was a really sweet kid though. He adored Holly, and he was very protective over the twins. He paused for just a moment when he saw Jane watching him and flashed a dazzling smile. That smile melted Jane's heart every single time.

Holly was doing a life-sized human anatomy puzzle on the floor and explaining the different organs to her Uncle Tommy, who looked on in amazement. Somehow she'd talked Tommy into holding Marie Curie while she did the puzzle, and Jane had to chuckle. The man who hadn't known what to do with a baby was pretty good with kids now. Marie Curie would be going on the plane with them, of course. Holly was already looking forward to showing her Paris.

Finally Jane turned back to the woman who made all the joy in her life possible and found the blonde already watching her. Maura gave her a sparkling smile.

"I think our life is perfect," Jane informed her.

"I think so too," grinned Maura. "Though I can't believe you won't be coming to any more crime scenes with me. That was sort of…our thing."

"Really? I thought out thing was really hot sex."

"Jane!" Maura said reproachfully, although she was laughing.

"What? The twins don't understand what that means."

"No, but they _are_ starting to talk."

Jane turned serious. "All you have to do is say the word, and I'll come back to the force."

"No, I think you're doing the right thing," Maura assured her. "I'm just going to miss you."

Jane leaned in to kiss her. "At least I'll still be in your bed every night."

"That's true," Maura agreed. "And as long as you're there, I can't really complain."

~R&I~

Getting the kids to bed was no easy task when they were so excited about leaving for their trip the next day, but eventually, things were quiet, and Jane and Maura were able to retire to their bedroom. Jane gratefully shed her party dress and got into bed, sneaking something out of her nightstand drawer. She held her prize discretely in her lap while watching Maura scurry around the room, double-checking her travel list. Jane waited for the right moment to tell her.

"Oh, I need power adaptors!" Maura said, digging through a drawer.

"I'd better remind Ma that she needs power adaptors too," said Jane casually.

Maura looked up, frowning in confusion. "Why would she need them?"

"For when she comes to Paris in a week."

Maura's frowned deepened. "Why is she coming to Paris in a week?"

"Well, someone's gotta watch the kids while we go here." Jane brandished the brochure the travel agent had given her.

Maura carefully took the brochure. "We're going to a vineyard in the south of France?"

"Yeah, just a little excursion for a few days, just the two of us. It's a five-star hotel, and the room I booked has a private terrace, a jacuzzi, and a _round_ bed. Maura, we've done a lot of things together, but we have _never_ had sex in a round bed."

Maura laughed. "Do you think it will be different from having sex in a rectangular bed?"

"I'm ready to find out! There's also a spa, and it's a short drive to the beach. It's gonna be great. You can have a little more quiet to do your writing in, and we can drink all the wine we want because we won't have kids to take care of, and we can have sex any time of the day or night we want because…no kids! It'll be a little like our honeymoon again."

Maura looked at her for a moment, and then she squealed with excitement, her face lighting up in the most delightful grin. "Oh, Jane!" She climbed into bed and snuggled up to her, kissing her sweetly. "This is the best surprise."

"Yeah well, I'm still a romantic gal. And we might not be solving crimes together anymore, but we still have plenty of adventures left to go on."

Maura beamed, looking through the brochure. "You know what makes me really happy?" she said. "Not just right now, but every day?"

"What?"

"Knowing that no matter what adventure life takes me on next, I'll be going on it with you."

Jane kissed her. "You always, always will," she promised.

 **That's the end! Thank you for reading, and I hope you enjoyed my take on things! I must say I was surprised by how many scenes from the show actually made MORE sense in the context of Jane and Maura being a couple! I will begin posting my new fanfic, Survivor's Guilt, later this week. It's quite different from this one, but I think you will all like it. Make sure you have me on follow so you don't miss it! And don't forget to check out the links in my profile to buy my books!**


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